POWER RANGERS AND THE BIG SHINY THING
Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers, but I own everything else. So don't steal it. Ever.
Our story continues in the lair of Zorbong, the Rangers were receiving the urgent assignment from Zeta. "Ayayayaayayayayaya! Zargonafijokowsky is trying to take over Earth and has just entered our atmosphere and crashed into some remote place that we can't reach! Yayayayaa!" "We'll take him down," Johnny replied, "To China Town."
(Cue cheesy Star-Trek picture of the Enterprise. Then cue bom-bom-bom-bom type evil music.) "My lord!" said Fobbs, "We are ready to deploy easily defeat able Bad Guy #1!"
Currently Zargonafijokowsky was off stage taking a smoke so he ran onto the stage with a Marlboro in his mouth. "Uhhhh. Yeah deploy the thing" Zargonafijokowsky said.
With the touch of the center piece of a Bratz Bop-It easily defeat able Bad Guy #1 was launched! "Bop-It! Twist it! Pull it! Bop-It! Twist it! Pull it!"
The director quickly pulled out a long line of duct tape and a pencil and then made a zwoowowowowowwo sound as the SFX cheesy beam thing was shooting down.
After the dust cleared there stood Clarnificus! Clarnificus was a huge slab of cabbage with dozens of cheap electronics taped to it and had a face with one wart on it drawn on by the director.
"GRAJJJSHHHHSDJLKJHHHHH!" Clarnificus screamed. He destroyed the miniature town in a shower of badly done SFX and sparks. Lots of sparks. It seems that there were so many sparks the set caught on fire. "Clarnificus isn't on fire," the director said in a Zorbong-esque voice, "He is just powering up!"
"It's morphin' time!" Francis yelled. (Cue theme song) Bownananan diwowoww banananananaananana danananaaaaaaaaaaaaa Power Rangers are morphing! Bananananananananananaan! Powwwwwwwwwwowowowowow… The tape then continued to perpetually slow down and yield an unfortunate agonizing death. And then shot out sparks.
Johnny, Red Ranger! Francis, Blue Ranger! Brian, Black Ranger! Jessica, Pink Ranger! Kaya, Yellow Ranger! After a successful morph they went to patrol the streets to find Clarnificus. After about 3.3 seconds Clarnificus magically appeared! Time for the fight!
The Rangers instantly lashed out with bad kung-fu moves! "Fools! Come to me my minions!" With that Clarnificus summoned the Juddies. Now every Power Rangers Series has some expendables that dance in place so I figure I should have my own. A Juddie is an underpaid stagehand in a jelly bean costume with an unhappy face painted on it. Oh yeah all the stage hands know Shotokan, Pi-Gua, Silat, Jeet Kun Doo, Goju Ru, Mantis, Snake, Kickboxing, and Escrima. It's a shame that they are so easily beaten with bad Kung-Fu. Life goes on.
So the fight scene ensued. Jessica's stunt double was doing double bicycle spinning kicks in mid air while doing Angel's Combo with her hands all while lashing out with her Ranger Power, Spiky Hair! Just then Francis's stunt double did a nose dive through a Juddie and cheap robot parts, jelly, and sparks shot out in all different directions. Ownage.
So the Juddies were all lying on the ground shooting out sparks and Clarnificus was the only one left. "Time for my amazing power!" With that he shot his DUPO BEAM, which was a bottle rocket, and Johnny exploded into a torrential downpour of sparks. SO much shooting was cancelled.
TO BE CONTINUED… PLEASE REVIEW.
