A/N: Sorry I'm a bit late. (sigh) It was very difficult for me to write the epilogue.
Part: 8/9
Day 7
(Kita)
I watch him comfort Rukawa and looked very gentle. His smile was genuine, not his usual smirk or smile of amusement. It was completely out of his character, very odd.
'He appears to really be in love with Rukawa. I think that if Rukawa's surgery was successful, Sendoh won't be willing to leave him. I got his meds, hopefully Rukawa's surgery will be done before his time runs out,' I thought looking at him, 'it'd be a pity if he died.'
(Rukawa)
I was scared. Sendoh looked at me curiously, "Why are you unhappy?"
"Akira, promise me you won't change," I said.
"Everyone changes, it's not something I can control."
"Do you know why I like you?" I asked.
"There are so many good reasons to like me," he said with a grin, "I'm tall, dark and handsome. I'm also funny, treat you well, extremely-"
"It's because you're cheerful and I like your smile."
"What! That's all?" he asked sounding disappointed.
"No, but it's most important. It makes me feel…warm and I find it very comforting. I don't want to take away what I like most about you."
He frowned, "Don't talk like so. I don't like it when you talk like you're going to die."
"…"
It was weird, if I didn't do this surgery I'll be sure to die, if I did it and it was a success I might live a normal life. Wasn't that what I always wanted? But at the moment, I wanted nothing more than to get out of here with Akira, "I don't want to do this."
"Kaede…" he said warningly looking tired.
"I don't want to make this gamble. I'd rather choose a concrete guaranteed week…even days with you, than to risk it on some what if. I'm scared, I never been so scared in my entire life."
Akira was silent. I thought he was going to give me a big lecture but instead he hugged me tightly, "Arigatou Kaede…I'm very happy. It's true."
'Is he ok?'
"For me…you're willing to give up your future, your dreams. But I won't let you do that Kaede," he said sounding very sad.
"Are you going to cry?"
"I don't think so…"
"Gomen. I didn't mean to make you cry."
He pulled away and smiled, "I won't cry but if I were to would be happy tears so you don't have to apologize. It's a good thing you're scared. It means you want to live."
I did want to live.
Knocking on the door as the doctor came in, "Rukawa-san are you ready to go?"
I looked at Akira who was smiling encouragingly, "Yes."
"Ok, let's go then," he said as the nurse came to wheel the bed away.
Akira walked with me, holding my hand and smiling. The feeling wasn't like I was going for a major surgery, it was more like I was going to the dentist and having a tooth pulled out. Well, if you needed to be wheeled into the dentist office on a bed. Akira was really strong, if I was in his position I don't think I can do the same thing. They came to a stop.
'Why is my room so close to the operation room?'
Akira smiled, "I can't go inside so I'll wait out here. For me you have to survive."
I nodded.
Reluctantly I let go of his hand, he stepped aside and waved, "Remember your promise, Kaede."
Seeing him wave I couldn't help but ask sarcastically, "Why don't you say Itte irasshai1."
He smiled, "Because you didn't say Itte kimasu2."
(Sendoh)
"Why are you here?" I asked looking at him.
"It would be problematic if you died here and an autopsy was performed," Kita said.
"I'm not leaving with you until Kaede's surgery is done."
"I expected as much," he said, "you seem very out of character."
"Maybe this is the real me. The real Sendoh Akira had he grew up in a normal environment."
"So desu."
"I'd like to believe so," I said and began moving.
"Where are you going?" Kita asked.
I pulled out a recorder, "To leave a message for him. Don't follow me."
"What if you suddenly died on me?"
I looked at him, "I'm not going to die until I know Kaede's ok."
"You make it sound like you can control your central nervous system. You know as well as I do you can't. Your diaphragm can stop contracting, your heart can stop pumping at any moment."
"I'll say it one more time. I am not going to die…yet," I said emphasizing every word, 'I need to find a quite place. What should I say? How can I justify what I'm going to do without telling him? Should I even try to justify it? It would just make me seem more guilty, right?'
(Kita)
I watch Sendoh leisurely walk back holding a drink. He tossed the recorder at me, "Help me give this to Kaede."
'This was the Sendoh I knew. He didn't really care about other people. Was a good leader, since he never asked for anything and only told people what needed to be done.'
"I refuse."
He sat down and held out his hand, "Then give it back."
"And if I refuse to that as well."
"You only have two choices you don't have a third. If you keep it, you're going to give it to Kaede. If not give it back."
I frowned, "You're calm. Your lover is in a life and death struggle and you don't seem to care."
"There's no point for me to worry. I did all I can do. Plus Kaede will be fine, he promised me."
"It's not something in his control either," I pointed out.
"Kaede won't lie."
"Do you know how irrational you sound? You of all people should know how fragile human life is. Maybe you're uncaring because you're use to it."
Very, very softly he asked, "Do you want to see him die, Kita?"
"Of course not," I said quickly, "you're just usually a realist, but today… I just don't want you to get your hopes high."
He didn't reply.
I dislike the silence, it was very uncomfortable, "So why do you like him? He doesn't seem your type. I always thought you'd fall for a cheerful, chatty person, not turn into one."
"Because he protected me. No one ever did that before. And he didn't do it for a reward nor did he do it to make himself feel better for having helped someone. He did it for me, because he thought I needed his help," he said with a smile, "at that moment nothing interested me more than him. So I followed him. And the more time I spent with him the more I like him."
'His smile, it really does seem like he's the world's luckiest person,' I thought, "guess you really must've liked what you discovered about him."
"Iie, I haven't learned much about him. Even now I don't know if he's a student or has a job. When I'm with him, it's not important. All I need to know is I'm with him."
I turned to the operation in progress sign, 'How peculiar that for this boy, Sendoh would turn like so. So…soft, even when seeing the family of his targets he can remain completely indifferent.'
(Sendoh)
"The light's off," Kita said.
Kita appeared more nervous than me. I got up and the doctor came out with a smile, "The surgery was a success."
It did not surprise me but still made me feel very happy, I shook the doctor's hands, "That's wonderful. Thank-you very much."
"You're welcome, I'm just doing my job. If you want you can stay with him. But he won't wake up for at least another 12 hours."
I watch them wheel Kaede back to the room and smiled, "It's ok."
I waited until Kaede disappeared completely from sight and turned to Kita, "We can go now."
"Don't you want to see him?"
"No need. As long as I know he's fine. Since I need to leave either way, I'd rather leave now," I stated.
Kita followed.
'Sayonara Kaede. I really want to say this to you in person but I know if I saw you and talked to you in person I would not want to leave.'
TBC
A/N:
1 itte irasshai what you say in response to itte kimasu, means "be back soon"
2. itte kimasu what you say when you leave the house, means "I'll be back"
