Author's Note: Hi there! Lil here! Yes, Snapeman has returned! And this time he has help in his crime-fighting! Indeed, Wolf-Boy joins him today, hooray! I hope you all enjoy this, the third chapter should be coming out within a couple of days! And a big Thank You! to henrietta-Black (Ask and you shall recieve! Snape's costume, just for you! I'm glad you like the story, and thanks for reviewing Potion as well! for that you get two cookies!),Clashachu (Thanks so much! Glad you like it! And I picture them all wannabe-Justice League-ish. Very amusing, this pair never ceases to make me laugh like a maniac!), Wolfgirl Silver Suicune (Indeed, now you shall know what happens next! And Snape isn't so far un-Snapey that he's decided to save the world, just rid Hogwarts of injustice. But the world will be the next step up, methinks. Anywho, thanks a lot!), and Clove (Thanks a bunch! Of course it will continue, here ya go! And hilarious? -blushes- compliments like this make me update faster!) Hint, hint! -Grins hugely- Yep, I havefour reviewers for one chapter in one day! Proud, I think so! Thanks to you guys so much, you get some yummy chocolate cookies baked by Snape himself! (that is from a dream my brother had about Snape and Dumbledore owning a bakery, one is the dark side and one is the light side. It was funny, and it had me in it! I'm going to type it up and post it as a story eventually, so look forward to that!) Oh, and I should be getting around to finally updating Adventures In Gimli's Beard! for you die-hard fans out there. Watch for that one, too! And now, a cheery message from our sponsors!
Disclaimer: I own Snapeman and Wolf-Boy! Ifyou wish to use them, please ask first. I'll give you permission as long as I approve of their use and you give me credit for owning them! I do not, however, own anything else in Hogwarts, or Hogwarts itself. And if I did own it and everyone therein, believe me, Snape would wear a lot less clothing! But I digress. Anywho, on with the show!
The Adventures Of Snapeman and Wolf-Boy!
Chapter 2
Snape in Spandex? Scary!
After finding said sewing machine, Snape is now working busily on his very superhero-ey costume. He has a feeling it is going to be great! In fact, he thinks the designs are spectacular! Upon stitching the last stitch, he takes the blobby mass of cloth and holds it up to himself, gauging the appearance and effect it will have on his super crime fighting abilities. Yes, he decides that it will do quite nicely. It is a large and black spandex suit with a rather crooked S stitched on the front in lime green.
DRESS!
He puts on the costume and looks into the mirror, judging his handiwork. The seams are horribly uneven, one sleeve is much longer than the other, and it is far too large and baggy, making him look like a child dressing up in a bad recreation of Superman's tights. "Aha!" he cries! "It is perfect! But it's missing something…" Then he realizes that all superheroes wear underwear outside of their suits and runs into his drawer to pull out a pair. Grabbing a pair of purple boxers, he pulls them over the spandex and then grins. Yes, he now has a complete costume! Wait, it's not really a costume if they can see his face, he has to keep his identity a secret! He can't let anyone know he's really Snapeman! He needs a
MASK!
Going back to his sewing machine, he uses the same black material to make himself a Batman-esque mask, but doesn't see how he can keep the large pointy ears up. Deciding to settle for shorter ears, he fixes it and slides the mask over his face to try it on. AHHHHH! He's suddenly been struck
BLIND!
No, wait. He has just put the darn mask on backwards! Realizing this he takes it off and sheepishly puts it back on, with the eyeholes in the front this time. Grinning to himself, he slips on his boots and a pair of yellow gardening gloves nicked from Professor Sprout, then ties the fluffy pink towel around his neck like a cape, completing the ensemble. Ta-da! Now he is ready to go fight crime! Now he is officially
SNAPEMAN!
Dashing out into the hall, this time making sure he is completely dressed, Snapeman runs about like a man escaped from the looney bin, looking for signs of trouble,before hearing something startling! It is a hacking sound, and it is coming from the Headmaster's office! Indeed that is very far away, on the other side of the school in fact, but his Snapey-sense knows no distance and picks up distress everywhere! Leaping about and flapping the edges of the 'cape', he makes his way to see
DUMBLEDORE!
and find out what ails the elderly man. Upon speaking the password to the gargoyle and climbing the stairs, he bounds into the Headmaster's office, only to find a horrible sight! The bearded wizard is choking on something and turning quite a lovely shade of purple, almost the same shade as Snapeman's boxer shorts! Rushing to his boss's rescue, Snapeman proceeds to whack Dumbledore on the back and when that doesn't help he cleverly administers the Heimlich maneuver. Just then, the old man gives a final cough and a
LEMON DROP!
flies out of his mouth, landing across the room. "Are you alright, good citizen of Hogwarts?" the masked man asks Dumbledore in a very superhero-ey way. Upon getting a nod in reply, he says, "Well then, I'm off to do other good deeds and stop evil! Ta-ta, citizen!" With that he leaps out of the room, once more flapping his cape.
"Who was that strange masked figure?" Dumbledore asks aloud, puzzled, before picking up the lemon drop from the floor and popping it back into his mouth.
While dashing about like the mad man that he is, Snapeman fails to notice a flight of stairs and proceeds to trip over his long pink bath towel, tumbling down said stairs and landing on his masked head. After sitting up, he realizes that there is someone else in the hall, and they have just witnessed Snapeman at his most embarrassing hour. True, he hasn't even been a superhero for an hour, but that's not the point. Jumping back to his feet and dusting himself off and trying to look heroic, he looks and sees that it is none other than
REMUS LUPIN!
"Lupin!" he says to his colleague, "What are you doing here?"
The Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher looks at Snapeman and points to a nearby door before replying, "My classroom is right there. Why are you here, strangely dressed man, and who are you?"
Grinning, the spandex-clad Potions professor says proudly, "I am Snapeman, hero of Hogwarts! Perhaps you've heard of me?" At Lupin's negative reply, he answers, "Well I am a relatively new superhero. I just started today, you know." Then, getting an idea, he turns to his friend and says, "Would you like to be my trusty
SIDEKICK!
Lupin? I don't have one yet."
"But I don't even know you, Snapeman." the lycanthrope says to our hero. "I've only just met you, what if you're not really a superhero?"
"Well," said Snapeman, "can you not see my superhero-ey costume? And do I not have a superhero-ey name?"
"Those are good points." said Lupin. "Very well, I shall be your sidekick!"
HOORAY!
"Good," says Snapeman. "Now, since you will be working with me, I must reveal to you my secret identity!" At this he removes his mask, showing his new accomplice that he is really Severus Snape, before covering his face back up.
"Wow!" replies Lupin. "Severus? I'd have never guessed that it was you! That's such a good disguise! Do I get a costume, too?"
Thinking quickly, Snapeman realizes that his sidekick needs a disguise as well, or else his secret identity wouldn't be very secret. Pulling a black, Robin-styled mask and another fluffy bath towel, this one orange, from an unseen pocket, he hands them to Lupin and says, "I now dub thee
WOLF-BOY!
You are now officially my sidekick and will help me in all things superhero-ey!"
"Yay!" Wolf-Boy says as he places his new mask on and ties his new 'cape' around his neck. "I'm a superhero! And with this great costume, now nobody will be able to tell that it's me! We'll be a great team!"
"Indeed we will, Wolf-Boy!" replies Snapeman. "And now, it is time to go and heroically fight crime!"
RUN!
With that the dynamic duo runs off down the corridors in search of trouble that needs un-troubling and people in need of saving!
Whilst dashing about rather heroically, on the lookout for danger, our pair of professors hear a blood-curdling scream coming from downstairs! "Wolf-Boy, someone is in need of our help!" Snapeman cries, and he and his faithful sidekick run towards the source of the sound, flapping their capes rather dynamically. The heroes
SKID!
to a stop in front of Professor McGonagall's room and fling open the door. There they see the old woman standing on her desk, screaming her head off and flapping the bottom of her robes at something on the floor. "What seems to be the trouble, ma'am?" asks Wolf-Boy, not seeing anything dangerous.
"Can't you see it?" she asks them. "It's horrible, that terrifying creature over there!" She then points a finger to the floor and shows them a small little
MOUSE!
sitting un-threateningly on the floor, eating some crumbs from a ginger snap. The men do not find it odd in the least that she is afraid of mice, even though she can transform into a cat. They appear to think that her fear is quite justified. "Not to worry, fair citizen!" cries Snapeman heroically. "We shall save you from this savage and obviously evil beast! Wolf-Boy, my mouse-catching net, if you please." At this Wolf-Boy pulls out a large net from his pocket that looks as if it's big enough to trap Hagrid and hands it to his partner. Indeed it seems a bit much for just a tiny mouse, but they don't seem to think so. Snapeman bounds between McGonagall and the mouse and she cowers behind him, telling him that he is so brave and to be careful. Reassuring her that they are professionals and can handle the situation, he takes the net and
WHAP!
places it over the mouse. Then, walking over to it, he takes a jar from another unseen pocket and scoops the rodent into it. Wolf-Boy dashes heroically over to the window and opens it, and Snapeman lets the mouse go outside in the yard. "Not to worry now, you're safe, ma'am!" he says to the woman, who has finally come down from her precarious perch on the desk.
"Oh, my heroes!" she exclaims as she kisses them both on the cheek.
They blush and say, "All in a day's work!" Before leaping out the door.
"But wait!" she cries after them. "Who are you mysterious masked men?"
They yell back to her from down the hall, where they are leaping about like loons and flapping their fuzzy bath towels, "We are
SNAPEMAN AND WOLF-BOY!
the
SUPERHEROES OF HOGWARTS!
Spread the good word, citizen!" And with that they traipsed back up the stairs in search of more superheroic deeds needed to be done.
