Author's Note: Hi there! Lil here! Well, this chapter was a bit harder to draw out, as I couldn't decide who the villain was going to be. I've got a whole bunch of interesting villains thought up, can't wait to draw them! Some are rather frightening! Anywho, sorry for the delay. I was going to update last night but found myself watching a lovely Marx Brothers movie marathon, hooray! Kudos to you if you actually know who I'm talking about. I'll dedicate the next chapter to you if you can name all of them and tell me which one was which, and I'll even put you in the story! I love the Marx Brothers, as you might've guessed. Anywho, hope you enjoy this chapter! And I must thank my lovely reviewers, especially those who are frequent reviewers of mine! THANK YOU to murielmodel (I am so glad you like it! I'd go there just to see them as well, they are so cute when they act stupid! I loved the part with the mouse, too, thought it was a bit ironic. And yes, you will see the Bakery Battle of Insanity up soon, though it wasn't my idea, it was a dream my little brother had. Strange, neh?), Poohdog (Thanks, I think it's funny, too! You should see the pictures of him in his costume, frightening, methinks! And no, his mask does not fit over his nose. It goes almost halfway down, think of Mr. Incredible's mask and his odd nose, if you will. By the way, I hate that movie! I saw it for the first time last week when I had my nieces come over for a visit. It was stupid. But I digress. Thanks!), fallentree (Oh no, another death by laughter! It's a good thing I know CPR! -administers CPR and brings tree back- There! Now you can read the next chapter and I can be cleared of murder charges!), QuillSwift (Sillily? Great word! I might have to borrow it some time! And thank you very much, glad you like the comic-bookiness! And of course I'll keep it up, you don't think I'd leave my wonderful readers in suspense, do you?) Avalon Estel (-gasp!- You didn't know it existed? I feel saddened. But you reviewed and liked it, so all is forgiven!I should think it would be original, it came to me in a vision whilst driving. And I really wish you could see the comic book, it's coming along quite nicely! Alas, you must settle for this crap I pass off as fiction. Glad you like the mouse and all of the 'dramatic' words, I thought they were a nice touch as well.), henrietta-Black (Yes, spandex ahoy! Even if poor Sev can't sew and his costume doesn't really fit, it is still spandex! And more of itin this chapter, but you'll be frightened when you see who's wearing it now, lol! Don't worry, I think Snapeman and Wolf-Boy will get real costumes eventually.) Yes, wow, I think I had a record of reviews this time! SIX reviews, huzzah! -buzzers sound and lights flash- I think I shall celebrate! Pineapple and mushroom pizza for all! Oh, and go check out my new original song, That Is Quidditch!, sung to Harry by our favorite twins to the tune of 'That's Amore'! And be sure to leave a nice review! Anywho, on with the story. Wait... I know I'm forgetting something. Oh yeah, that pesky disclaimer!

Pesky Dislaimer: I own all heroes and villains, but sadly, not the original characters, which I don't think even make an appearance in this chapter, but just in case. I own the baby chimeras, they live in my basement and eat tomato soup, and I'm not afraid to sic them on any flamers!


The Adventures Of Snapeman and Wolf-Boy!

Chapter 3

Blimey! A Villain!


After dashing about in their wonderful costumes, flapping their towels like wings and getting many strange stares from various peoples, our dynamic duo decide to go outside in search of anything dangerous on the grounds. Just then, Snapeman looks to Wolf-Boy and exclaims, "My Snapey-sense is tingling! Quickly, my companion, to the Forbidden Forest!" With that they

SPRINT!

down the lawn, past Hagrid's hut, and come to the edge of the woods... only to be met with a strange sight. There is a rather large and hairy fellow in bright yellow spandex with green gloves and boots, and as he turns around they see that he's got a large green 'B' on his chest and a tiny black mask covering his very bearded face. He is carrying a very suspicious-looking sack with something moving inside. Just then, a roar fills the air and the sack is ripped open from the inside, making the man drop it. Out crawl a dozen baby

CHIMAERAS!

looking quite cute and deadly. "Ah!" cries Wolf-Boy! "Those are chimaeras! You there, don't you know that those are illegal and a Class A Non-Tradable Good? They're very dangerous!" He then takes a step forward, apparently deciding that they need to be restrained and turned into Dumbledore, only to have the large, spandex-clad man jump on him and squash him like a tomato.

With a roar that could rival any motherdragon protecting her young, he jumps up and proceeds to try tosquish Snapeman! Our hero runs just out of reach and tries to bring his opponent down with a

WHACK!

punch, but it doesn't work and he soon finds himself screaming like a little girl and running around in circles. "What are you doing? Who are you?" he cries to his attacker!

The man stops and announces heartily, "Why, I'm the

BLIMEY BEARDSTER!

Maybe you've 'eard of me? I'm tryin' ta take care o' these precious li'lle creatures, don't ya see that they need a mummy?"

At this, Snapeman replies, "I don't care who you are, you're breaking the law, Mister Blimey, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you in to the Headmaster!" He then bravely pulls a rope out of thesame unseen pocket and attempts to

LASSO!

the villain. However, that doesn't work either because the rope isn't long enough to tie him up properly and he breaks free of it with ease. He gives another roar and charges once more at our hero. "Lemme alone!" he yells. "My babies need me! There's nothin' illegal 'bout raisin yer children, is there?"

"Yes there is," says Snapeman, "When one's babies are blood-thirsty, human-eating monsters!" This only serves to anger the Beardster further, and he

POW!

sends a large, gloved fist towards the man with enough force to send him flying into a tree! Never fear, our hero is not dead! He sits up, dazed, and sees that the villain is distracted with picking up his 'children', now that the good guys are injured. Well, then this gives Snapeman an idea! When the Beardster's not looking, he pulls out his trusty

DUCKCALL OF JUSTICE!

from the still unseen pocket and gives a loud

QUACK!

This makes the large man turn around and look into the trees in surprise! "Why, do me ears deceive me?" he says unbelievingly. "I think I just heard a wild Moosenocerous in the forest! That'd make a nice companion for the little Skrewts!" Turning to his foe, he says, "I'm sorry, Mister Snapeman, but I'll have to beat ya to a bloody pulp some other time. I'm afraid I've gotta be goin' now!" With that Blimey runs off, chimaeras in his arms, tromping through the brush and calling out, "Oh, Moosenocerous? Where are ya, ya little beau'y?"


REJOICE!

Snapeman has just defeated his first villain! Well, he didn't really defeat him, in all actuallity he let the bad guy get away, and he didn't even confiscate the illegal animals. But he did avoided getting smashed like baked potatoes with a tennis racket, right? So it is a triumphant moment for him! He decides to celebrate this momentous occasion with his trusty sidekick, Wolf-Boy! Unfortunately,the lycanthrope is stillpassed out at the moment. Not letting this dampen his spirits, our hero grabs the pulverized man and drags him down to the Three Broomsticks for a glass of Old Ogden's

FIREWHISKY!


Sitting in the bar and singing a rather off-key version of 'We Are the Champions', Snapeman and the now-revived Wolf-Boy are celebrating their triumph over evil. Yes, we know they didn't really triumph over anything, not even an evil hamster, but we don't want to spoil their fun. Besides, they're not bad singers when they're drunk! Just then, after falling off of his stool for the seventh time, Snapeman hears something strange, and it's not his sidekick's singing voice! It is the voice of a

FRENCH HOUSE-ELF!

That could only mean one thing, house-elf smugglers! "Bolf-Woy," he says to his equally inebriated partner, "I heard French house-elfs. There's a foul plot afoot!"

"It's not my feet,"protests the other masked man, "I just washed them!"

"No," says Snapeman laughing, "But have you smelled Hagrid's feet? I mean, the guy walks around barefooted half the time and you don't know what he steps in! But that's not what I was gonna say, was it? No... But I forget what it is now."

"Did it have somethin' to do with house-elfs?" asks Wolf-Boy. "I think you might have mentioned them. Are they stalking you again? Honestly, that Pinky, or was it Blinky? Well, the one that washes your socks, she can't take a hint! I mean, the whole cross-species dating thing doesn't usually work."

"It might've been something like that." replies the spandex-clad man. "But I thought I said I wanted French toast?" He nods, "Yes, that was it." With that statement, a tray of French toast appears in front of him and he begins to eat happily.


Well, it looks like they'll have to solve that mystery of the house-elf smugglers another day. It seems that the Snapey-sense doesn't work when our hero is drinking.

ALAS!