Hen Dekigoto
By Tig Jones
Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is owned by Sunrise and Bandai, and a whole bunch of people who aren't me.
Part 5
Hitomi just sat on the porch steps, her forehead resting against her hands. All she could see was his eyes – that wounded look in Van's eyes made her heart ache. It touched her heart in such a way that it frightened her. It stirred a part of her that hadn't been accessed in a long time.
She had seen that look before.
In the glowing sun set after a late day shower, she had been in the arms of another man. As if being released from a spell, she turned from the embrace to see a boy watch her with that same forlorn look in his eyes, his damp hair sticking to his face. That boy; it was Van.
She herself had been just a girl. Alone and unsure in a strange world, she sought comfort. Van was also alone and unsure. With her young girl's naïveté, pride and ill-advised youthful ardor, she had hurt him after he had been hurt so many times before. And she had just hurt him again.
She had been in that strange world, and he protected her, and she hurt him. And while she later professed an eternal adoration for him, she still left him, both of them with scars on their hearts.
But then he had left her, left her thoughts, leaving her with the darkness, that void which abraded her heart for five years. Now, by whatever means, he was with her again, filling that hole, making her complete. Still naïve, she once more ran to another man, once more hurting Van – he who Hitomi's love for had saved a world.
Hitomi's hot tears fell into her lap. They were tears of pity for herself, tears of longing for the boy she once knew, and tears of pain for the man now. With her head down, those silent tears rushing down her face, she didn't notice the man travelling up the walkway.
It was his harsh breathing that alerted Hitomi to his presence.
"Van," she breathed as she looked up, her eyes red.
He took a step towards her, still winded from running about the city trying to find her, realizing belatedly in his frenzy that she would have gone home. His face was unreadable though, his eyes hard. The sharp edge in them made Hitomi bite her lip.
He took another step toward her with purpose. Hitomi stood up, ready to face whatever he put forth. Van stared at her hard for a second, before raising an arm. Hitomi braced herself for a slap, but started when he simply took hold of her upper arm.
"I'm sorry," he began, his deep voice full of meaning. "I thought I had outgrown that brash boy who couldn't express what he wanted and got flustered over a girl. But apparently he's still in there, and I guess I can't help because you fluster me."
He stopped, a blush making its way into his tanned handsome face. Hitomi just gaped at him as she attempted to compute what he just said. She looked into his eyes, desperately trying to find a response in hers. It was that look that made everything come together.
Before Van could blink, Hitomi launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his back.
"Van, I'm so sorry. I remember now," she paused as he grasped her shoulders, pulling her back, his eyes searching her face. She nodded. "Everything.
"I thought I had outgrown that proud girl who didn't know want she wanted and couldn't see the boy in front of her. But I know now. I can see now. I'm sorry I hurt you again, but now I can see it's always been you."
Van hugged Hitomi to his chest. "For five years I've been dreaming of you; your eyes have haunting me. Five years of wondering if I was crazy. When I saw you, it validated my dreams, my nightmares. You didn't recognize me, but I knew I couldn't let you go, not after giving up whatever we could have had together in that other life."
Before Hitomi could say anything, Van, still holding her close, made his way into his own home, citing potentially nosy neighbours. Sitting her on the coach, Van realized he didn't know what to do with himself. He eventually sat down beside her, close, but not touching. The look on Hitomi's face had him worried.
"What is it?" he asked with concern. She blinked at him.
"You said that you've been having dreaming for five years," she stated and he nodded. "Five years ago… that's when the blackness started!" She learned towards Van and twisted her hands in his shirt. "I felt you die! Then there was the blackness and I forgot. I forgot everything about Gaea… I forgot you."
Van just rubbed his hands up and down her arms, wanting to purge the pain from her eyes.
"How did it happen?" she asked quietly. He didn't pretend to not understand.
With a bulk-shattering sigh, Van began. "It was four years after you left. Life continued as best it could. Fanelia had been rebuilt – Gaea, for the most part, had healed. I was attending a conference in Freid with Allen, as an envoy for Dryden. There was a fire and Allen and I both ran in to help rescue those trapped inside. A beam fell, knocking me to the floor. As the flames crept closer, my last thought was of you, and of how I wished I could see in the next life. I remember pain and then there was the blackness.
"Then I woke up. I was still nineteen years old, but now I was on Earth, the Mystic Moon, a Fanelli, not de Fanel. I had all these memories and experiences from both lives swimming around in my head, and it took me months to distinguish between the two. But I remembered you. You were the most real, most constant thing in my mind. And for five years I've been wondering if I'd ever see you again. I suppose eventually I would have gone looking for you, but if anything had happened, I wouldn't be able to stand losing you again, having you leave me again."
Hitomi sat there silently, tears running down her face. When Van moved to wipe her tears, she pressed her cheek into his palm. It was warm and strong – and Van's hand – and that comforted her. She tucked her legs underneath her and sat up. Cupping Van's face with her own hands, she looked straight into his warm eyes.
"We'll never lose each other again," she whispered. Van clasped her wrists and pulled her hands away from his face. He reached under his collar and pulled something over his head and held it out to her. It was her grandmother's pendant.
Her eyes went wide. "I thought I had lost it," she whispered in shock.
Van's lips moved into a faint smile. "For years on Gaea I thought it was broken. No matter how much I wished for it, I couldn't see you. Then on Earth, nothing happened either. But I realize that this is the only reason I was able to meet you. Just before the blackness, there was light. I think I saw you."
"I was thinking about you when it happened. And I thought I would die, which was nothing compared to feeling you fade away. I was so afraid…"
He bent his head towards hers and tasted the salt of her tears on her lips, cutting her off. Hitomi froze for a second, before letting out a sigh as her arms wound about his neck. And it was at that moment she knew she wouldn't be afraid again. She had found what she was looking for.
No longer was he hurting. No longer was she empty. That bond the shared had crossed time and worlds. No longer would they sit in darkness alone.
Now they would face it together.
Fin.
Author's note
Gag gag gag. That's a disgusting amount of cheese. But at least it's complete cheese. Unless divine inspiration and motivation strike me, this will probably be my last Escaflowne fic. It's been four years. Too many people do it better than me, and I've moved onto other fandoms. Check out my Ranma ½ story, Shall We Dance? (my first and only of that fandom as well), as well as my Naruto stuff.
A few notes about writing the story. The parallels were taken from the series, as are my characterizations. I just know it better than the movie. Actually, I just watched the movie last week for the first time in about two years. It really doesn't make much sense, especially if you've never seen the series. Oh, but Yoko Kanno is a god. Hajime Mizoguchi is also amazing. Yes. I wrote that Hitomi doesn't generally use contractions when she speaks. This is because she's speaking a foreign language, and you usually aren't taught that much slang when learning a new language, in my experience. I know it reads strangely, but it was a creative choice. It's set in Toronto because it's my hometown and I feel comfortable writing about it. Plus, Toronto is all multi-cultural which is always fun.
As I've mention before, this is a major revision of a story I wrote in 2001, and later revised in 2003. The plot was similar to this one, with Hitomi coming to Toronto to stay with her aunt, Arisa. Arisa's home is based on my own aunt's house, which I love. Van was Sean Miyamura (Sean was a suggestion that I received when I asked my readers. Ryu was another popular one. How long did it take me to realize that Sean rhymed with Van? Too damn long), Hitomi's age this time, but still lived next door. Instead of only Allen (originally Terrance, only because thought that name was hilarious and I didn't like Allen at that point. Randy is currently my favourite funny name) and Van being reincarnated, many others were as well. Millerna (Sarah, as her middle name in the series was Sara), Eries (Elle), Marlene (Ingrid, as in the scandalous Ingrid Bergman), and Merle (Merrill). Folken and Balgus may have been around as, gasp, brother and caretaker of Van.
Here, Sean didn't look like Van, and Hitomi doesn't forget Van and feels guilty for loving someone else. But then Sean turns out to be Van and knew all along, or something. They get engaged, and lived happily ever after. It was more light-hearted and silly than this version turned out. I actually wrote eight chapters of an unfinished sequel where their daughter, Varie, goes to Gaea when she's fifteen. Dryden, Celena and Chid show up, as well as Celena's son, Gaalan, Allen and Eries' son, Grava (Millerna's gross dad's name), and Dryden and Millerna's daughter (Slyphy, as in the mermaid Dryden had). It turns out that those who were reincarnated on Earth (excluding those already dead) had been annihilated at a meeting/event by the Zaibach scientists. Then there was Dune (Folken's name in the movie), Van's half brother, who was created when his mother Varie had been captured when she went looking for Folken. Zaibach rises again; Varie and friends have to save the world – that kind of thing. The last written chapter had Varie escaping from her psychopathic uncle's cave by flying. It was a very stupid story.
Special thanks: jaioublie – always on my case about my typos. The anal-retentive in me thanks you. Just kidding (because it actually cries). Thanks for your constant and very flattering reviews. It really helps me to keep writing. Oh, about calling Hitomi short. I must have been writing in Van's point of view, since she'd be a head shorter than him. I'm only 5'2", and would die to be 5'6". I have a theory about how it's the perfect height for a girl which I won't get in to.
And: Demon Space Cow, f-zelda, chibihitomi, fireangel621, Inda, Anime Monkey, Joseph Hansel, Aja, Foxyfire, superbakagirl, long live the abh mation, Tora Tigera, Kat? – For everything from the 'plz update' to comments about my writing, I really appreciate all that you had to say. Even the little things help to motivate me.
Anyway, to all that have read and all that will read - Thanks for reading!
Emma
April 9, 2005 - Call it an early birthday present for Van (April 12).
