Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. This is written horribly on purpose. I do not reallywrite this bad.Any and all name, grammar, and spelling errors are the fault of the author and she should be held entirely responsible.
And yes, I know Sue parodies are done to death. I'm trying to be funny.
On another note...PLEAEZE REVEIW I LURVE REVIEWZZZES!! NO FLAEMS!
It was Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts. He was eager to return to the school. But enuf of that. Harry's not important. Let's discuss the cool stuff!!1!
As the first years went into the Great Hall, looking around in awe, Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement.
"Doesn't he usually do that after the sorting?" asked Hermione.
"Everyone, I have an announcement," said Dumbledore. "We will get 3 new students today."
"Who?" asks Everyone.
"Their names are--"
Three girls walked up to Dumbledore. One of them had long, flowing shiny blonde hair. One had shimmering black hair and a glowing complexion. The other had flaming red hair and freckles that made you want to just PINCH HER WITTLE CHEEKSIES!!! All of them had larger-than-life boobs, tiny waists, and long, luscious hair.
"It's okay, we'll introduce ourselves," says the blonde, shaking her gorgeous, shining, beautiful, marvelous, perfect locks magnificently out of her face (Extravagantly). "My name is Sarah Annabelle Rosanna Alycia Harrison."
"My name is Laura Amora Usora Rumora Allora," says the glowworm, tossing her sleek, raven-colored hair and brushing off her short yet modest pleated see-through leather skirt, which showed off her leather spiked undies. Remember, it was modest.
The redhead smiles, shining with an ethereal, anime-like beauty. "My name is Megara Elladora Gisella Arabella Rosemary Alexandria."
(From this point on, due to their ridiculously long names, the girls who are obviously Mary-Sue's will be identified by their initials, which incidentally spell their first names.)
Sarah smiles. "And we--"
"Are, liek,--" continues Laura.
"da bestest eva--" continues Megara.
"MARY-SUES!!!" they all declare. The Hogwarts girls ran away, while the boys stared at their voluminous boobs.The only girl who didn't run away was Hermione, who just rolled her eyes.
Laura stared at Draco suggestivley and wikned (Draycoo is sooOoOOooooO HAWT!!1! lol)
Dumbledore, oblivious to anything but the marvelous new students before him, claered his throat. "Well, tell us about yourselves."
Sarah began. "I can play quittage, rugby, soccer, basketball, baseball--"
"Soccer?" asked Ron.
"She means football," said Hermione. "It's a muggle sport."
"Booooobs," said Harry.
"I kno how 2 transfigure N-tire towns, my animagicus is a Dranticore--" started Megara.
"I can play da flute, oboe clarinet, tuba, trumpet, chimes, alto saxophone, baritone saxophone, french horn--" says Laura.
"--football, polo, batminton, tennis, gym rummy--"
"But I thought soccer WAS football!" cried Ron, confused.
"American football," explained Hermione. "Only American muggles play it."
"Boooooooooooooooobs," moaned Harry.
"--I can talk to animlas, trees, tubas, and macaroni--"
"--Baritone horn, the recorder, the piccolo, the timpany, snare drum, base drum, tambourine, cymbals, the triangle, the gong--"
Draco snorts. "Feh. Anyone can play the gong."
Laura gasps as this blasphemous statement. Draco was going to be her true love!! How could he say such things about his twu wuv?!?!?!?!!!1!(!)!! Heck, how could ANYONE say ANYTHING tewwible about Lauwa?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!
Poor Laura stared at him sadly. "Wha--but...but...Waaaaaaahhhhh!!!" She breaks down into hysterical tears. "U R meen, Draco!!! I thought you wuved me!!!!!1!"
(No exclamation points were harmed in the typing of the previous paragraphs)
"Hey, how do you know my--"
Megara turned into her animagicus and stood before Darco imposingly. The creature she had become was beautiful, yet horrible. Elegant, yet dangerous. Intelligent, yet stupid in its very existence. That being said, it ate Draco swiftly.
"Uh, what exactly is a 'dranticore'?" Crabbe asked, ignoring the fact that his master was just eaten.
Megara became herself again and explains. "It's a cross B-tween a dragon and a manticore. it's resistant to the strongest of magic, even Dumbledore or Merlin couldn't kill me! It's the strongest creature alive."
"And how did you know Draco's name?" asked Goyle, being uncharacteristically inquisitive. Mary-Sues have that effect, you see.
"Well, I'm a sear. I'm actually Trelawney's niece, see?"
"Oh."
Sarah was still spouting her talents. "--poker, N-E varitation of Uno, war, go fish, kings-in-the-corner, solitarie..."
Three hours later, everyone was finally done listening to Sarah's endless talents, and the three students were sorted.
Hwo did you like the first chappieieie?????!? PLEEZ REVEIW THEY MAK ME HAPPIE! SQUEE! WEE! KAWAII! I WONT CONTUNUE UNTIL I SEE 1,00,000,0,0,0000 REVIEWS!
I'm just kidding, but I do like reviews. Leave some if you feel like it.
Special thanks to Melusine for helping me with the title and concepts!
