I hope you're enjoying this. I'm enjoying writing it. I especially enjoyed this chapter. Extra Sue stupidity in this one.

Oh no...here it comes.....!!!

HI GAIZZ! DIJA MISS ME?!?!?!?! I STILL DONT HAVE MY 10,0,0,000,0 REVIEWS! I'M WAITING! AND NO FLAYMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(!!!1!)!!!


Sarah Annabelle Rosana Alycia Harrison was dancing around the Gryffindor common room, her bronze-hilighted golden tresses twerling merrily, her hourglass body moving perfectly in time to a tune being played on her iPod.

She sang along in her beeutiful voice:

"Oops, I did it again,
I played with your heart--"

Hermione looked up at the girl in annoyance. "Will you please stop singing? I'm studying!"

"But isn't my voice gorjeous?" asked Sarah, pouting.

"No, it's disturbingly perfect. besides, your iPod shouldn't even be working here. You're at Hogwarts, electronics don't work here."

"But--" Sarah's iPod sputtered and died as Canon fought back against the Sue. How DARE it!!!!!1! Sarah glared at Hemmione. "How dare U!!! Your logic killed my iPod!!! No faaaiiir!!!!!"

"Oh, stop whining," Hermione grumbled. She turned to look at Harry, whose chest was being cleansed of drool by Ron.

"I feel like I'm taking care of a baby!" he cried.

"Harry, are you sure you're alright?" asked Hermione.

"Daaah," Harry babbled, producing a drool bubble. "I'm in wuuuuuuub. Boooobs. Hehe!"

Herrmione rolled her eyes.

It got even worse when Oliver Wood walked into the room.

"Hi, Oliver!" cried the Sue, smiling with an anime-like Kawaii-ness.

"Hello, my love," said Oliver.

"Oh, God," said Hermione angrily as the two began making out.

Harry jumped up angrily. "How dare you kiss my twu wub?!"

"But Harry," said Megara, appearing out of thin air and staring at Harry pitifully, "I thoughtI was your twu wub!!!"

"You are!" Harry replied, contradicting his hypnotized self.

"How did you just appear out of thin air?" asked Hermione.

"Oh, I apparated," she replied.

"You cannot apparate on Hogwarts grounds!" Hermione screeched. "What's the matter with you people?!"

Canon fought back yet again, and Megara's head disappeared, along with her right arm (minus the hand), her left foot (minus the toes) and two of the fingers on her left hand.

(Meanwhile, in the Great Hall...)

Several first-years screached as a disembodied head appeared before them, along with a handless arm, two fingers, and a toeless foot.

"OMG! WTF just happened?!!?!" cried Megara, her head floating eerily in front of Dennis Creevey.

Dennis poked the head. Megara tried to bite him, and he ran away screaming.

"I cant move!" she cried. "I can't--HEY!"

Her foot had started hopping away, presumably to find the rest of her body. "get back here!" she cried, trying to float after it. However, she was unable to move. "GRAAAAAAAAGH!"

Professor Snape stared at her incredulously. "What's this?"

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!"

"Well, with that attitude, you won't get any help from me," said Snape. "Twenty points from Gryffindor."

"This isn't MY fault! Blame that damn smarty-pants upstairs! She did this!"

"And you, Miss, were stupid enough to try and apparate in Hogwarts grounds. Ten more points from Gryffindor for trying to blame others for your idiocy." With that, Snape walked away.

Megara tried to will her renegade foot to trip the potions teacher, but it didn't work. Instead, it bounced upstairs to where her body was, and kicked her in the shin.

"OWWWW!" cried Megara. "LOUSY FOOT!"

After a few minutes of sulking, she heard footsteps approach her. She looked up to find Hermione with a basket. The frizzy-haired girl grabbed Megara by the hair and stuffed her head in the basket. Next, she grabbed the arm and the fingers, and brought them back upstairs.

She placed the basket next to the rest of the Sue and stared at the pieces. "I really ought to just leave you like that," she snapped. "Look what you've done to my friend!"

Harry stared at her, his eyes wide, his mouth even wider. Megara's presence decreased the amount of drool that was on the table.

At least she was good for that.

Megara looked at Hermione pleadingly. "Please put me back together?" she whispered.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine." She pointed her wand at the dismembered Sue and said, "Reparo!"

The Sue was back together instantly, and the readers wept.

"You wench!" megara cried. "How dare you ruin me like that!!!!! I could have put myself back together!!! I hate you!!!!!!!!!" With that, Megara stormed upstairs to the Gryffindor girls' dorm.

"That's why you asked me to put you back together, stupid Sue," Hermione muttered.


HEHEHEHEHE!!!!!! NOW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(All these exclamation points volunteered for this job and were unharmed by the process)