Catalyst

Chapter 4: Rooftop Reflections

by BonnieLass


Disclaimer – I don't own any character that you recognize. If I did, Archie would get more screen time. If you have any problem with the ones I made up, please contact my flame department.


Sara fumed as she strode out of Ecklie's office. "How dare that rat of a man…" Sara trailed off, envisioning the gruesome death of said rat man. Sara growled deep in her throat. When had Ecklie gotten the gall to run a background check on her! If she had thought her past was any of his business she would have told him, but since it wasn't he could go screw himself on something painful. It was as if he thought her unfit to do her job! Yea, sure she had blown up at Catherine, and maybe stepped over the line a bit… Well, maybe more than a bit. But hell, it wasn't as if her past made her unable to do her job. It only made her more interested in catching the bastards. Sara balled her hands into fists and fought the urge to punch something, namely Ecklie's large nose. Sara stalked towards Grissom's office intent on answers. Rounding the corner, she stopped quickly and flattened herself against the wall.

"Grissom, I'm leaving. This is a demotion, not a reassignment. I just can't do this anymore." Sophia's voice rang out from Grissom's office.

"You can't go, you're one of the best CSI's I've worked with, Sophia."

"I'm overqualified, Grissom. I was a supervisor before this."

"Have dinner with me." Sara closed her eyes, and stifled a sob by covering her mouth with her hand. 'Don't you dare cry, Sidle. Don't you dare.' Tears peaked out through her tightly clenched eyelids as she scolded herself. When she heard Sophia's affirmative she couldn't take it anymore. She ran. Sara was heedless of where she ran. It was an amazing feat that she managed to not run into anyone she knew. It seemed to take forever for her to stop. When she did, Sara managed to find herself on the roof of the CSI lab, and she wasn't alone.

"Sara?" Jess' hesitant voice broke into the haze of Sara's mind. The only thing Sara could think of was Sophia and Grissom; her mind coming up with images of them at dinner and afterwards. Sara allowed the sob to rack her body as she slid to the ground. Jess ran to the frazzled CSI, kneeling down next to her. "Sara, what's wrong?" She asked again.

"Go away."

"Sorry, but I was here first, indulging in my own self pity." Jess took a drag of her cigarette, while Sara eyed it ravenously. Jess stuck the cigarette in between her lips and pulled the drained woman to her feet and led her to the ledge of the roof. Jess sighed, handing Sara a cigarette and a lighter.

"Why are you here?" Sara asked, lighting the proffered nicotine stick. She didn't look at Jess, but merely stared up at the night sky. Jess was staring ahead of her at the lights of the strip.

"How about you tell me what's got you so upset and I'll tell you my reasons." Sara nodded, turning back to Jess. She handed the lighter back to Jess, and took a deep puff off the cigarette. Sara closed her eyes, savoring the taste. "Been awhile?"

"Yea, since I started working here."

"I bow down to your commitment. My longest break was six months." Jess offered Sara a small smile that wasn't returned. "So are you going to tell me what happened?"

"I overheard Gil ask Sophia out to dinner." Sara looked back up at the sky, blinking away tears. "You know I almost had myself fooled."

"What?" Jess was clearly in shock.

"I thought I loved him, and it was just some stupid crush."

"Sara, this has got to be some big misunderstanding." Sara looked away from the Vegas skyline and stared at Jess. She noticed that Jess' green eyes were pleading with her. "I don't think you were fooling yourself. I've seen the way you look at my uncle." Jess set her hand on Sara's shoulder.

"There's been gossip that Ecklie's going to reassign me to Catherine. So that means Gil gets back either his precious Nicky or Warrick. Most likely Nick." Sara shrugged off Jess' hand. "And with me gone Gil's free to pursue Sophia." How could she have been so blind, Sara thought to herself.

"Would Ecklie ever do something like that for Uncle Gil?"

"What?" Now it was Sara's turn to be taken aback.

"Would Ecklie…" Obviously, Jess mistook her question as a request for a repeat.

"I heard you the first time, Jess." Sara cut in. "What do you mean."

"Well, from what I understand Ecklie doesn't like Uncle Gil too much. And he broke up the people Uncle Gil considers family." Jess paused. "Instead of hiring new people for the swing shift, which he could afford to do, mind you. He leaves the grave shift short. Ecklie took away what meant the most to Gil, but he underestimated Gil's feelings for you. Ecklie never realized the attraction and depth of feelings that Uncle Gil holds for you."

"But he knew about my feelings for Gil."

"A school girl crush that would cause more harm than good, perhaps. Plus, he couldn't leave Grissom with newbies, it would reflect badly on Ecklie, himself."

"But either Warrick or Nick…"

"Nick and Warrick are Grissom's protégés and don't cause problems. Except for falling for prostitutes and gambling addictions. Ecklie doesn't realize how good you are or how good Greg will be."

"How can you be so sure?"

"He would have moved the two of you somewhere else. When Ecklie looks at Greg, he sees the DNA tech who wears shirts Elvis would be proud of and I've seen a picture of him wearing a showgirl's headdress." Sara let a small smile grace her features as she remembered Greg in the sequined outfit. "And all Ecklie sees in you is a ticking time bomb, who gets emotionally involved in domestic disputes."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Of what?"

"Everything."

"Because I watch and I listen. When Uncle Gil talks about you, it seems like his whole world revolves around you. He's so proud of you, Sara. He gets this tone in his voice that just screams out love. It almost makes me believe in it again." Sara gave her a perplexed look. "You've heard talk about his bugs, right? It's the same tone."

"Really?" Sara knew she should wonder at being described in the same way that Gil described his passion, but she couldn't help but feel giddy. If Jess was right, Gil really was in love with her. She had gotten past the iron barrier that surrounded his heart. And she would do her damnedest to stay there.

"Yes, really."

"Jess, why do you care so much?"

"Uncle Gil saved me once, and for that I owe him every happiness. And right now he needs saving, more than ever." Jess shrugged. Sara noticed that there was something behind that statement, but she chose to let it go.

"Thank you, Jess, for everything. I think I would have given up on him."

Jess smiled and headed back towards the door that led back into the building. "You would have moved on, Sara. But you would have carried that torch with you for the rest of your life." Sara flushed as Jess hit the proverbial nail on the head.

"Jess, you promised."

"I did, didn't I?" Jess stopped and looked back to Sara. She sighed and walked back to Sara, lighting another cigarette. She offered another one to Sara, who shook her head no. Jess shrugged again, sliding it back into the back. Sara noticed that she bit her lip every time the cigarette left her mouth. She was unsure about something and Sara figured it had to do with Nick. Things fell together with a click. Something had happened to the redhead to cause her to fear loving someone. But what? Sara could feel the injustice of it as she waited for Jess to speak. More than likely it was a domestic situation. Was her father the cause of it? The familiar anger was rising as she thought of a young Jess McAlester becoming a victim.

"I have a hard time allowing myself to truly open up to people. Speed was like my big brother and it took him a year to get me to open up to him. And now I meet Nick, and I can't help but open up to him. It scares the holy hell out of me. So I'm running from him."

"What happens if you stop?"

"If I stop, I fall."

"Why not just fall, Jess? Nick is a wonderful guy, and you two deserve a little happiness. Besides, falling in love can be the most rewarding thing a person can do."

"And the most heartbreaking. All the people I have let in have left me. It isn't something I'm willing to go through."

"Gil hasn't left you, has he?"

"No."

"And I doubt Nick would hurt you. He's too good of a person to do that." At Jess' blush, Sara knew Jess had already fallen for the Texan. Sara stood next to her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. Now the roles were reversed.

"You think so?"

"I know so. If the two of you don't work out, he'll be the best friend you could ever hope to have." Sara smiled softly, thinking of what Nick had done for Kristi. Jess returned the smile gratefully.

"Thank you, Sara."

"It should be me that's thanking you." Sara tugged on the woman's braid. Jess winced as she snuffed out the cigarette.

"I'm going to head back down and check to see if I have an ID yet."

"I'll be down in a minute. Want to go to breakfast with Greg, Mia, and me?"

"Some other time maybe? I've got to go to UNLV and talk to my replacement." Jess smiled apologetically.

"Alright, some other time then?"

"You got it, Sara." Jess waved and headed back to her borrowed office.