TO KIBO: I updated this earlier than I thought or planned I would. I read
the first chapter of your story. It's very interesting. I'm sorry for your
loss, I myself am going through some tough times of my own, but mine will
never be as great as your loss. The advice you gave out to all your readers
(I skipped ahead to read you're AN, sorry, I was curious.) made me remember
how much time left my Dad has and I don't want him to think that I hate
him, but sadly, all he does is say I hate him. In your opinion, do you
think that someone who has not been a father to you for about over ten
years should accuse his daughter of hating him because she never wants to
go anywhere with him or do any activities, such as fishing, with him?
Anyways, thank you for the tip, unfortunately, I was unable to perform your request. I would have done the paragraphing technique you told me, but thought that would be a lot of paragraphs, since I have a lot of dialogue. I looked at my first chapter to see why you readers were having a difficult time reading my work. I tried to double space the times when the character is speaking within their mind and when they are speaking to another character or out loud. Unfortunately, it didn't work.
(I'm not mad) MY ADVICE TO THE READERS IS THAT THEY USE THE TEXT SIZE, WHICH IS RIGHT ABOVE THE CHAPTER SELECTIONS, TO ENLARGE THE WRITNG, HOPEFULLY, THE WRITING WILL SORT OF SPACE OUT THE WORDS A LITTLE, ALLOWING YOU TO UNDERSTAND IF THE CHARACTER IS SPEAKING ALOUD OR IN THEIR MIND. PLEASE TELL ME THROUGH REVIEWS OR EMAILS IF YOU STILL HAVE A HARD TIME.
Disclaimer: Inuyasha, will you please bring me my tape recorder? Thank you. *Presses play "I do not own Inuyasha."
*~*Chapter 5: Tour of the Weekends*~*
'Where to start?' "Die you freaky clowns!" 'Who is that?' Ichiro looks around the place trying to find the owner of the voice he heard. "Die!!! Die!!! How many bullets does it take to kill you?!" 'Huh. Didn't think that this girl would be the type to play in arcades. She's pretty good. She's made it this far by herself and is hardly wounded in the game.' "Mind if I join you?" "No, not at all."
20 minutes later..
'Wow! This guy is good!' You win flashes on the screen. "Alright!" "Ha! I came late in this game and beat you on shooting skills plus killings!" 'Now is my chance to see who this guy is.' Kagome turns to her mysterious partner to retaliate. 'In- Inuyasha?!' "Surprised to see me or something?" "Uh.Well. You see, I-uh didn't think a person like you would like the arcades." 'Nice going Kagome, Kami, when will you ever leave me alone?!' "Oh I see. Wanna play some more games together or are you too scared cause' you know you're gonna lose again to me?" 'What?!' "I'm not scared!" "Prove it!" "I'll show you!" "Bring it on little lady!" Both of them start pulling out their money to go get more quarters for games.
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20 minutes before this.
"Hi, what would you like?" "I'll have a strawberry smoothie please." "Will that be all?" "Yes." ""Your total is one dollar and twenty cents. Ok, out of five dollars and twenty cents. Here you go and please enjoy." "Thank you." Before Setsuko is able to turn around, she feels a familiar hand on her butt. "PERVERT!!!!!" *Spill drink all over Miyoko. "Hey! This actually tastes good! How much is this drink again?"
"Keep your filthy and wandering hands away from me!!!" "But Setsuko. I didn't know that it was there! Honestly!" "Whatever!! You've probably have used that line one thousand times!" "Actually three thousand and sixty nine times or actually add a few more thousand." "Grrr..." "Hmm. So what would that make it now?" "It would make you dead meat!" "Now calm down Setsuko, let's be reasonable here." "Reasonable?! I think I've lost all reason with you a long time ago!!! Ah!!!!" "HELP!!!" Setsuko chases Miyoko out of the café. "SERVES YOU RIGHT!!!" shouts the woman who waited on Setsuko.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Back to the "couple"
"Hah! Admit it! I'm the man." "No, more like the kid." "What?!" "You heard me! All you've done so far is rant on and on about every single victory you've made. I would have beaten you if you hadn't kept saying all these things like as if we were on T.V. playing golf! 'Ichiro makes his turn on the motorcycle. It was well done. Don't you agree John? Oh yes! It was nicely done. And on the left of Ichiro is a scrawny little girl who by the way, can't play. Oh dear! That's gonna leave a mark on the virtual motorcycle. Yeah! Did you see the way see crashed her bike into the wall?'" "Ok! Ok! So I over did it." "Yeah! You totally ruined my concentration!" "Well, I guess then we could say that we're even. Wanna go to McDonalds to go grab some drinks and maybe something to eat? I'm starving!" "Sure..Uh McDonalds?" "Let me guess, from where you come from, its WacDonalds, right?" "Yeah. How'd you know?" "Let's just say Mc and Wac are cousins, literally." "Oh, I didn't know that." "Well, now you do, it's not too far from here." Setsuko and Miyoko are nowhere to be seen at the moment.
"So, Kagome right?" "How'd you know?" "Know what? Oh! Your name huh? Uh, I got my resources. Anyways, why did you come to Seika High?" 'What should I tell him? I came because I am trying to forget everything about Feudal Japan mainly because of his past self along with mine?!" "The school is better." "That's it?" "Yeah." "I thought it would be something else, like because of the guys at your school." 'I wonder if Hojo would count.' "Why did you come to Seika High?" "My Dad helped build the school and thought that it would be great if his two sons attended the school he helped built." "He isn't the principal, is he?" "Heck no! If he was, then Seishichirou and me would have fought back against his decision of making us go to this school." "Are you and Seishichirou half brothers?" 'Duh! Setsuko told you this on the first day of school and you know this information from Feudal Japan! I guess there is nothing wrong with repeating things you know just to carry on a conversation.' "Yeah, How'd you know?" "Let's just say I have my resources too." 'Say like yours and your brother's past selves!'
"Yeah, both our mothers' died." 'I don't think I should ask anymore of these questions. Inu- I mean Ichiro is starting to look really sad.' "Is that McDonalds up ahead?" "Yeah. Race you there! Bet you can't even beat me in running!" "Try me!" "I just challenged you didn't I?" "Ready? Set, go!" 'He is fast, not as fast of Inuyasha.' 'What's this girl do?! Run everyday! I'm almost to the point where I have to give it all I got! Only Setsuko and Miyoko can keep up with me!' 'I'm not gonna make it!' "I win!" Kagome collapses to the ground and Ichiro puffs out his chest looking triumphant, but also collapses. "*Ugh I better stand up, or else I'll get a huge cramp." "Same. Let's walk around a little bit, before entering." "Alright." The two recover within minutes and order one large french fries and two soft drinks. They sit by a window seat.
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Miyoko trips while running in the street away from Setsuko. She stands right in front of him, her shadow covering most of his body. "Thought you'd get away from me huh lecher?" Miyoko gets on his hands and knees and starts to bow continuously in front of her crying. "Setsuko please. Please have mercy on me. Please forgive me." "Let's see. Geez this is tough." Miyoko looks up from his bowing and stares at her with big puppy- dog eyes looking hopeful. "No Miyoko! You've touched me for the last time!!!" "Mommy!!!!"
Miyoko winces and he braces himself for another vicious beating from Setsuko, though not a single hit landed on his "delicate skin." 'Maybe she changed her mind.' He opens his eyes to see Setsuko staring off at McDonalds. He turns his attention to McDonalds as well. 'Huh?! Ichiro with Kotaro's girl?!' Setsuko grabs Miyoko unconsciously into some bushes nearby. "Setsuko, I had no idea you felt this way!" "Quiet moron!" "So when do we make- out?" *Bonk! She props him upright and both stare at their best friends. "I wonder what they are saying." "I don't know. Maybe he used my pick- up line." "What's your infamous pick- up line? Your feet must be tired-" "No, no, no. Not that lame one. Think of my sn." *Bonk "That's your infamous pick- up line?!" "Shh! They will notice us with all your yelling and hitting!" "Good point." 'At least she'll stop hitting me.' "Look! They're sharing fries!" "Go Ichiro!" "What about Kotaro? Doesn't he have a thing for Kagome?" "Uh.Yeah.. Never mind. Bad Ichiro!" 'How'd you get the girl? You make Kotaro look bad! Go Ichiro! Boo Kotaro!' "What are you humming about?" 'I was humming aloud?!' "Huh? Oh nothing." "Do you think we should just leave them alone like this?" "Yeah." 'In the mean time.' "Setsuko." "What?" Setusko watches Ichiro and Kagome intently, not noticing Miyoko's wandering hand. He turns her toward him and uses one hand to hold both her hands. 'What's he doing?' Setsuko starts to blush. "Will you bear my child?" "What?!" *Touch *Touch *Touch! "Miyoko!!!!"
Miyoko starts to run before Setsuko could hit him. "Setsuko! You sat on my hand and my hand was twitching because of the pressure you were putting on it!!" "I don't care! Now die!!!" "Those are very harsh words to say, I'm sure you don't mean it, though." "I'll show you how much I mean them." "Calm down Setsuko! I'm serious! Your tush was hurting my hand, my hand started twitching and I tried to move it out by wiggling it underneath your tush, so I wouldn't harm you." "Are you implying that I weigh a lot?!" "No! No! What I'm sayin-" "I don't care! Just die!!!" "Be reasonable about this Setsuko!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey Kagome!" "Oh hey Setsuko! Sorry that I didn't catch up with you." "Oh it's ok." 'You're gonna tell me everything on what happened between you and Ichiro, anyways.' 'Is it just me, or does Setsuko seem like a sly fox, or cat?' "So, um what did you do after the café?" "Oh, I just took care of some business." "What kind of business?" "Eradicate all evil business." 'Miyoko.*Sigh from Lecher to lecher, should have known.' "It's been a long day for me, so I would like to go back to my dorm room, alright?" 'I'll bet it's been a long day for you. Having to run and hide from Miyoko's hand and eyes all day.' "Alright then." "Umm, I'll see you online, on AIM then." "Wait1 I don't have an sn though." "Well make one, I need to talk to you about today." "About Miyoko?" "Umm... Yeah... My sn is DemonSlayer. Here, I'll write it down for you in case you forget it." 'Wow! Things really do seem to be about the same both here, and Feudal Japan.' "I'll explain to you online about my sn." "Ok then."
Author's Note: Ok, ok. Dumb humor! I'm not a very humorous person when it comes to writing? Now, this is why I didn't categorize this as a humorous type of story. Face it, all the things that are suppose to be funny, are stupid and lame. REVIEW PLEASE!!!
Oh yeah! I changed my summary. I don't know if you like it, but I think this is how the story will go (sorry if you don't like it):
Kag leaves the past only to forget about it in the future, but the past catches up with her at her new school. Will Kag go back to the past, before future events in her life make up decisions for her?
Anyways, thank you for the tip, unfortunately, I was unable to perform your request. I would have done the paragraphing technique you told me, but thought that would be a lot of paragraphs, since I have a lot of dialogue. I looked at my first chapter to see why you readers were having a difficult time reading my work. I tried to double space the times when the character is speaking within their mind and when they are speaking to another character or out loud. Unfortunately, it didn't work.
(I'm not mad) MY ADVICE TO THE READERS IS THAT THEY USE THE TEXT SIZE, WHICH IS RIGHT ABOVE THE CHAPTER SELECTIONS, TO ENLARGE THE WRITNG, HOPEFULLY, THE WRITING WILL SORT OF SPACE OUT THE WORDS A LITTLE, ALLOWING YOU TO UNDERSTAND IF THE CHARACTER IS SPEAKING ALOUD OR IN THEIR MIND. PLEASE TELL ME THROUGH REVIEWS OR EMAILS IF YOU STILL HAVE A HARD TIME.
Disclaimer: Inuyasha, will you please bring me my tape recorder? Thank you. *Presses play "I do not own Inuyasha."
*~*Chapter 5: Tour of the Weekends*~*
'Where to start?' "Die you freaky clowns!" 'Who is that?' Ichiro looks around the place trying to find the owner of the voice he heard. "Die!!! Die!!! How many bullets does it take to kill you?!" 'Huh. Didn't think that this girl would be the type to play in arcades. She's pretty good. She's made it this far by herself and is hardly wounded in the game.' "Mind if I join you?" "No, not at all."
20 minutes later..
'Wow! This guy is good!' You win flashes on the screen. "Alright!" "Ha! I came late in this game and beat you on shooting skills plus killings!" 'Now is my chance to see who this guy is.' Kagome turns to her mysterious partner to retaliate. 'In- Inuyasha?!' "Surprised to see me or something?" "Uh.Well. You see, I-uh didn't think a person like you would like the arcades." 'Nice going Kagome, Kami, when will you ever leave me alone?!' "Oh I see. Wanna play some more games together or are you too scared cause' you know you're gonna lose again to me?" 'What?!' "I'm not scared!" "Prove it!" "I'll show you!" "Bring it on little lady!" Both of them start pulling out their money to go get more quarters for games.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
20 minutes before this.
"Hi, what would you like?" "I'll have a strawberry smoothie please." "Will that be all?" "Yes." ""Your total is one dollar and twenty cents. Ok, out of five dollars and twenty cents. Here you go and please enjoy." "Thank you." Before Setsuko is able to turn around, she feels a familiar hand on her butt. "PERVERT!!!!!" *Spill drink all over Miyoko. "Hey! This actually tastes good! How much is this drink again?"
"Keep your filthy and wandering hands away from me!!!" "But Setsuko. I didn't know that it was there! Honestly!" "Whatever!! You've probably have used that line one thousand times!" "Actually three thousand and sixty nine times or actually add a few more thousand." "Grrr..." "Hmm. So what would that make it now?" "It would make you dead meat!" "Now calm down Setsuko, let's be reasonable here." "Reasonable?! I think I've lost all reason with you a long time ago!!! Ah!!!!" "HELP!!!" Setsuko chases Miyoko out of the café. "SERVES YOU RIGHT!!!" shouts the woman who waited on Setsuko.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Back to the "couple"
"Hah! Admit it! I'm the man." "No, more like the kid." "What?!" "You heard me! All you've done so far is rant on and on about every single victory you've made. I would have beaten you if you hadn't kept saying all these things like as if we were on T.V. playing golf! 'Ichiro makes his turn on the motorcycle. It was well done. Don't you agree John? Oh yes! It was nicely done. And on the left of Ichiro is a scrawny little girl who by the way, can't play. Oh dear! That's gonna leave a mark on the virtual motorcycle. Yeah! Did you see the way see crashed her bike into the wall?'" "Ok! Ok! So I over did it." "Yeah! You totally ruined my concentration!" "Well, I guess then we could say that we're even. Wanna go to McDonalds to go grab some drinks and maybe something to eat? I'm starving!" "Sure..Uh McDonalds?" "Let me guess, from where you come from, its WacDonalds, right?" "Yeah. How'd you know?" "Let's just say Mc and Wac are cousins, literally." "Oh, I didn't know that." "Well, now you do, it's not too far from here." Setsuko and Miyoko are nowhere to be seen at the moment.
"So, Kagome right?" "How'd you know?" "Know what? Oh! Your name huh? Uh, I got my resources. Anyways, why did you come to Seika High?" 'What should I tell him? I came because I am trying to forget everything about Feudal Japan mainly because of his past self along with mine?!" "The school is better." "That's it?" "Yeah." "I thought it would be something else, like because of the guys at your school." 'I wonder if Hojo would count.' "Why did you come to Seika High?" "My Dad helped build the school and thought that it would be great if his two sons attended the school he helped built." "He isn't the principal, is he?" "Heck no! If he was, then Seishichirou and me would have fought back against his decision of making us go to this school." "Are you and Seishichirou half brothers?" 'Duh! Setsuko told you this on the first day of school and you know this information from Feudal Japan! I guess there is nothing wrong with repeating things you know just to carry on a conversation.' "Yeah, How'd you know?" "Let's just say I have my resources too." 'Say like yours and your brother's past selves!'
"Yeah, both our mothers' died." 'I don't think I should ask anymore of these questions. Inu- I mean Ichiro is starting to look really sad.' "Is that McDonalds up ahead?" "Yeah. Race you there! Bet you can't even beat me in running!" "Try me!" "I just challenged you didn't I?" "Ready? Set, go!" 'He is fast, not as fast of Inuyasha.' 'What's this girl do?! Run everyday! I'm almost to the point where I have to give it all I got! Only Setsuko and Miyoko can keep up with me!' 'I'm not gonna make it!' "I win!" Kagome collapses to the ground and Ichiro puffs out his chest looking triumphant, but also collapses. "*Ugh I better stand up, or else I'll get a huge cramp." "Same. Let's walk around a little bit, before entering." "Alright." The two recover within minutes and order one large french fries and two soft drinks. They sit by a window seat.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Miyoko trips while running in the street away from Setsuko. She stands right in front of him, her shadow covering most of his body. "Thought you'd get away from me huh lecher?" Miyoko gets on his hands and knees and starts to bow continuously in front of her crying. "Setsuko please. Please have mercy on me. Please forgive me." "Let's see. Geez this is tough." Miyoko looks up from his bowing and stares at her with big puppy- dog eyes looking hopeful. "No Miyoko! You've touched me for the last time!!!" "Mommy!!!!"
Miyoko winces and he braces himself for another vicious beating from Setsuko, though not a single hit landed on his "delicate skin." 'Maybe she changed her mind.' He opens his eyes to see Setsuko staring off at McDonalds. He turns his attention to McDonalds as well. 'Huh?! Ichiro with Kotaro's girl?!' Setsuko grabs Miyoko unconsciously into some bushes nearby. "Setsuko, I had no idea you felt this way!" "Quiet moron!" "So when do we make- out?" *Bonk! She props him upright and both stare at their best friends. "I wonder what they are saying." "I don't know. Maybe he used my pick- up line." "What's your infamous pick- up line? Your feet must be tired-" "No, no, no. Not that lame one. Think of my sn." *Bonk "That's your infamous pick- up line?!" "Shh! They will notice us with all your yelling and hitting!" "Good point." 'At least she'll stop hitting me.' "Look! They're sharing fries!" "Go Ichiro!" "What about Kotaro? Doesn't he have a thing for Kagome?" "Uh.Yeah.. Never mind. Bad Ichiro!" 'How'd you get the girl? You make Kotaro look bad! Go Ichiro! Boo Kotaro!' "What are you humming about?" 'I was humming aloud?!' "Huh? Oh nothing." "Do you think we should just leave them alone like this?" "Yeah." 'In the mean time.' "Setsuko." "What?" Setusko watches Ichiro and Kagome intently, not noticing Miyoko's wandering hand. He turns her toward him and uses one hand to hold both her hands. 'What's he doing?' Setsuko starts to blush. "Will you bear my child?" "What?!" *Touch *Touch *Touch! "Miyoko!!!!"
Miyoko starts to run before Setsuko could hit him. "Setsuko! You sat on my hand and my hand was twitching because of the pressure you were putting on it!!" "I don't care! Now die!!!" "Those are very harsh words to say, I'm sure you don't mean it, though." "I'll show you how much I mean them." "Calm down Setsuko! I'm serious! Your tush was hurting my hand, my hand started twitching and I tried to move it out by wiggling it underneath your tush, so I wouldn't harm you." "Are you implying that I weigh a lot?!" "No! No! What I'm sayin-" "I don't care! Just die!!!" "Be reasonable about this Setsuko!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey Kagome!" "Oh hey Setsuko! Sorry that I didn't catch up with you." "Oh it's ok." 'You're gonna tell me everything on what happened between you and Ichiro, anyways.' 'Is it just me, or does Setsuko seem like a sly fox, or cat?' "So, um what did you do after the café?" "Oh, I just took care of some business." "What kind of business?" "Eradicate all evil business." 'Miyoko.*Sigh from Lecher to lecher, should have known.' "It's been a long day for me, so I would like to go back to my dorm room, alright?" 'I'll bet it's been a long day for you. Having to run and hide from Miyoko's hand and eyes all day.' "Alright then." "Umm, I'll see you online, on AIM then." "Wait1 I don't have an sn though." "Well make one, I need to talk to you about today." "About Miyoko?" "Umm... Yeah... My sn is DemonSlayer. Here, I'll write it down for you in case you forget it." 'Wow! Things really do seem to be about the same both here, and Feudal Japan.' "I'll explain to you online about my sn." "Ok then."
Author's Note: Ok, ok. Dumb humor! I'm not a very humorous person when it comes to writing? Now, this is why I didn't categorize this as a humorous type of story. Face it, all the things that are suppose to be funny, are stupid and lame. REVIEW PLEASE!!!
Oh yeah! I changed my summary. I don't know if you like it, but I think this is how the story will go (sorry if you don't like it):
Kag leaves the past only to forget about it in the future, but the past catches up with her at her new school. Will Kag go back to the past, before future events in her life make up decisions for her?
