Disclaimer: My greatest regret is not having made up Inuyasha, but then again, other people would be using my characters to make up their own versions of stories…Guess I'm the fortunate one. Besides, I like my own characters better
Chapter 12: Her Reasons
Ichiro enters the arcade, hoping Kagome might be somewhere inside playing a game (honestly! who writes something that is so duh like! Oh... Me... Well how about excluding me? j/p) He sees her playing near the back of the arcade, with a huge grin plastered on his face as he attempts to make a fool out of Kagome. "HEY KIKYO!" Ichiro's shouting distracts and annoys other players; the gamers look around to see whom they have to blame for their loss.
Kagome stops playing her game and loses instantly (and she was on the final round! Stupid boys...and their distractions in life). She becomes oblivious to her surroundings, including the stares (actually glares) she is receiving from nearby gamers. Ichiro is confused by Kagome's actions, 'This wasn't what I had in mind. She shouldn't have stopped playing her game, since her name isn't Kikyo. I've done this so many times to people like Kotaro, especially Miyoko, and not even those two respond to the names I shout in public. So, why did she respond to Kikyo?"
Inside Kagome's Panicked Mind'Inuyasha? Did he just call me Kikyo? No! I'm just hallucinating, but then what if it was he calling out to Kikyo and she is in trouble, in need of my help. So she is using ESP or whatever scientists call it, to reach me! Besides, I'll never make it in time to help her! But if I could…Would I? I'm just making up some silly nonsense. Inuyasha and Kikyo are fairy tale characters, Kagome. Even if they were real, they would have died long ago and you have nothing to do with their death, since after all, you live in the future while they live in the past. It doesn't matter really, since...everyone dies, so why should their death matter?'
Ichiro puts his hand on Kagome's shoulder, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and to jump. She closes her eyes to help calm herself. 'When I turn around, please don't let it be him.' Kagome slowly turns around, peeking at whoever it is behind her with one eye. She is relieved when see meets Ichiro's violet- like eyes. "Hey, are you ok?" Ichiro looks at Kagome with some visible concern on his face. "Yeah, of course I'm ok. Why would you ask such a silly question like that?" Kagome smiles widely.
Ichiro looks at Kagome with disbelief, but decided to play a long. "Well, if you say you're ok, then it doesn't really matter, but then again, you did seem to be petrified about something a few seconds ago.." Kagome has an unreadable expression and decides to say something, but Ichiro cuts her off. "But remember," he holds up his index finger in front of her face with a huge smile, "it doesn't matter cause' you claim there is nothing bothering you. Plus, I think you'd rather not talk about it judging from the way your feet are fidgeting." Kagome looks down and true enough, each foot was taking turns making little circles, while Kagome's hands were slightly shaking at her sides. 'Wow! I was doing this the whole time! I'm sure one lousy liar...'
Flash back in Feudal JapaKagome is in a clearing of a forest; she has some scratches on her knees and above all things, she is alone. "Shippo!" Kagome has a worried expression written all over her face. 'Where could he be! I know he's hurt, I have to find him. I have to fi-' Kagome hears a rustle and the brushing of something against the leaves of a bush to the right of her. "Who's there?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Shippo?" To Kagome's surprise, it's Kikyo, carrying the wounded Shippo in her arms. "I believe you were looking for this young demon," Kikyo says in her calm and collected voice. "Y-yes," Kagome stammers, "Thank you." Kagome senses the uncomfortable silence as she and Kikyo do not attempt to take a step towards each other. 'I can see the hatred in her eyes,' thinks Kagome.
Kikyo is the first the make a move. She pulls out some herbs from a satchel she carries at her side. "His wounds are minor, but nevertheless, he will still need some aid in healing. Use this green herb to cleanse his wounds and use this one to help promote a faster healing process. Just grind them up, adding little bit of water. Make sure you do not mix the two herbs together, so after applying the green herb, wait until his wounds look a healthier, or simply redder than it is now, and then clean out all of the green herb from his wounds. After that, you apply this purple herb and bandage his wounds altogether. I'm sure you can manage all that." Her wounds stung Kagome, for clearly Kikyo was ridiculing Kagome's lack of intelligence in the medicinal field or just simply Kagome's intelligence, but Kagome still says nothing, and so is treating Kikyo as her elder with respect.
Kikyo walks to Kagome, placing Shippo in Kagome's arms and putting the herbs on top of Shippo. Kagome's attention and main focus is back on Shippo. Kikyo walks a good four feet away from Kagome, while Kagome begins to cradles Shippo in her arms as if he was her own child. But then decides to ask Kagome, "Where is Inuyasha?" without bothering to turn around. "I don't know," Kagome responds. "I see."
After what seemed like hours (more like 4 minutes), Kikyo turns around with a fierce gaze. "Inuyasha's life is in my hands, and mine is in his. What we had could never be replaced by what you have to offer him." Kagome gasps, 'Could this be the real side of Kikyo? The side with all of her harbored emotions?' Time seems to slow down as Kikyo's voice and anger begins to rise with each passing second. "What makes you think that he'll give up his memories of me to spend time with you?" Kagome takes a step back. "What have you ever done to prove your love for him?" The fear in Kagome intensifies as she braces herself for the next cutting words. "Why should and would Inuyasha ever want to be with likes of you? You don't even belong in this world. I'm not exactly sure how you came to our world, but I am very certain that you are not of ours', more like someone who chanced upon this world and undid everything I did in my life all the way up to my untimely demise. You are the very reason why Inuyasha, myself and others suffer!" Tears start to well up in Kagome's eyes. "I died not for this world, but for Inuyasha, out of my own guilt and grief, and Inuyasha knows that now, do not interfere with what I have planned for the both of us, after I send Naraku straight to Hell." Kikyo turns to walk away, leaving a dazed Kagome.
Kagome kneels down on the ground, still holding Shippo and replays what just happened, realizing something. 'For a moment there, I thought she was saying all of that stuff, but she wasn't exactly saying them. All she said to me was that Inuyasha's life was hers and vice versa and that Inuyasha knows the reason why she died. Was everything else just thoughts I could read or thoughts that I had imagined of what she might say to me one day? Or was it all the things she wanted to say to me and told me from her eyes?' She begins to brush Shippo's hair after hearing a moan of pain escape from his lips. 'I never really thought of it that way. How everything is my fault. Sango's pain of losing her family to Naraku and now her brother is being controlled. Kikyo being brought back into the world where every living thing causes her pain, especially everytime she sees Inuyasha. Would it have been better that I had not come to this place and released Inuyasha from Kikyo's spell?' Kagome looks up towards the darkening sky. 'In the end, I can't be with Inuyasha if and when the journey ends... That doesn't even matter, because Kikyo won't let me be with him; she'll drag him down to Hell with her. Inuyasha won't even fight back when it comes down to that very day; he will choose death over life for Kikyo... Over a life... with being by me...' Kagome silently cries and hugs Shippo gently for comfort.
"Earth to Kagome." Ichiro is waving his hands in front of Kagome's face. "Huh?" Kagome was apparently looking down at the ground while walking, she looks up so quickly that her head collides with Ichiro's face (he got a little too close to her while waving his hands in front of her). "OW!" Kagome looks surprised and remembers she was walking with Ichiro out of the arcade. "Oh my- Are you ok Ichiro!" Kagome's worry slowly diminishes as she looks at Ichiro like he was some pathetic person. "Will you stop jumping around like a monkey and turn around for me so I can take a look at your face already!" Kagome finally manages to turn Ichiro around, grab onto both sides of Ichiro's head and examine his chin like a doctor.
Kagome starts to feel guilty after she sees Ichiro's chin is red from the impact. "I'm sorry Ichiro, I really am." The two walk over to a nearby bench. "It's ok." Inuyasha reassures her. "You really are a hard headed person..." Kagome shoots him a glare. "What's that supposed to mean!"
"Oh nothing." The two sit in silence as Ichiro rubs his chin, thinking of something to say. "So, why did you apply to Seika high? It's pretty tough to get into our school. Man, that entrance exam was hard." Kagome smiles at her little imagination of Ichiro getting all frustrated on the test. " 'What the hell is this! I don't get it!' " "Yeah. That test was pretty tough, but my studying twelve hours a day really paid off." Ichiro looks at her funny. "You must have really wanted to get into our school then." Kagome contemplates this. "No, not really."
"Well, then that brings us back to the same question I asked you. Why did you apply to Seika High?" For a moment, Ichiro thinks that Kagome won't reply, due to her silence. "You know you don't have to-" Kagome cuts him off, "No, I don't mind telling you. It might even be a good thing that I finally say something anyways." She looks up at the partially, cloudy, blue sky. Ichiro looks at her, waiting.
"I needed to...I needed to get away." The atmosphere seems calm and alluring, only to intensify as wind brushes past them, making Kagome more attractive to Ichiro as her hair dances past her face in the wind. This is the first time, Ichiro really looks at her, seeing not only her, but as well as her sadness. "You probably want to know why I wanted to get away too. The most I can tell you is that I'm trying to get away from the past. It's not like it is a bad past; I actually really did have a pretty goodtime back at the shrine I lived in with my family and the times I spent with my friends. It's just that, what started out like a mission to me, turned into reasons, and then..." Kagome looks down at the ground for a split second then at Ichiro. "And then into unconditional love." Kagome seems to glow, radiating suppressed emotions that hit Ichiro wave after wave. So many of them he recognized and others he couldn't quite place. 'And despite all that, why does she still smile?'
Author's Note: Sorry for the late update. I've been trying to update this run- through chapter (sorry if there are any errors in it... didn't edit it) I seriously was trying to write this chapter like a month and a half ago, but unfortunately for me...I couldn't because I didn't have my wireless internet working on my lap top for when I'm at home, but could only work at my dad's place -- That really bit my hard in the butt when I learned that my dad was going out of the country and wasn't going to see me in over a month. I know. I know. Why didn't I just transfer the chapter to my computer at home? Well, my computer is like breaking down on me and seriously needs to be updated. So why don't I update it? Too busy. So how was I able to find time to write the chapter? I had time when I was at my dad's place. Why didn't I update it then and there? Wanted to go home and read it...(Which never really did happen ;) Well, I'm still going to try to update again soon, hopefully not like a year later...But don't expect this story to be updated really soon, because I have to study for my SATs, as well as other tests that are coming up and I'm still writing these chapters a bit blindly. I only have little bits and pieces of memories of what I wrote on my outlines, thankfully for me, after I remember one another seems to pop outta nowhere! Anyways, enough of my blabbering and rambling of excuses, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
OH YEAH! I know a lot of you want Inuyasha and gang to pop up sometime soon, but you're really going to need to have patience for that to come, because...The whole reason Kagome left her house and school district was to forget...So imagine what would happen if she had moved on and he came back? oOoOoOo If you can't really imagine it, then your guess is just as good as mine! We're just going to have to wait and see, now won't we?
