Okay here's a big old long chapter filled with angst, fluff, humor, violence, and of course a little bit of Jack singing…
Title from Constant Lover by Magneta Lane, Lyrics and song I Believe In A Thing Called Love by The Darkness
Another
Chapter 10
Don't Be A Rag Doll, Dear
Jack opened the door for her, on the passenger side of his SUV. He remembered Kate commenting earlier about how she loved how spacious it was, that the seat's felt like big waterbeds.
He smiled as turned on the engine and began to drive to the drugstore. There was one just down the street from their apartment building, but the hardware store was more then eight blocks away. Luckily do to the heavy rainfall; most of the driver's were off the street.
He glanced over at her, unlike when they took their trip to the mall, she wasn't joyful and giggling, instead she was lugubrious and pensive, not saying a word, just looking start ahead.
Jack wished he could make her smile, see the corners of her lips rise as her whole face lit up at something he said. Make her laugh that delightfully silent yet expressing giggle that she always tried to hide. Most of all he wished he could hear her voice, hear her speak to him, to whisper to him, to call out his name. She hadn't spoken a single word in over six hours, and Jack was feeling empty because of it.
He looked in the mirror as he changed lanes and he saw something he'd completely forgotten he'd bought, a smile came to his face as he took it down from being stuck between the sun blocker. At the next corner he stopped at the light and opened the CD case, taking out the disk gently and pushing it into the stereo in the car.
He laughed at the CD; he had managed to sneak it into the cart while Kate was looking at clothes. It was a CD from a band called 'The Darkness' and Kate absolutely loved the one song they sang. It had come on the radio on the way to the mall, and she insisted on belting out the words in between arbitrarily giggles. Jack didn't think he'd ever laughed as hard as he did that day.
She looked over as he forwarded it to the song she liked, he grinned, "I bought this CD for you, I wanted a surprise for the next time we had to go somewhere," he disclosed.
When the music began playing Kate recognized it and looked over to Jack, he prayed she would smile, he just needed to see her smile, "Don't worry, I'll sing the words this time," he offered and bellowed along with the music.
Can't explain how you're making me feel,
"My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel," Jack sang the words he knew, "Touching you, touching me, touching you because you're touching me!"
I believe in a thing called love,
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart,
there's a chance we're gonna make it now,
we'll be rocking until the sun comes down,
I believe in a thing called love,
Whooo ooo
Kate couldn't help it, her mouth cracked into a big goofy grin as she watched him make a fool of himself just for her, She turned her head down looking away from him and he brought her chin back up, memorizing her smile, "That's what I wanted to see," he replied back.
"Sit right here," he told her as he helped her down to the comforting black blanket he hoped could take his place for fifteen minutes, "I promise I'll be quick, but if you can't take it, just pound on the door, I'll come out," he explained to her, "But I know you can do this," he told her as he kissed her hair.
She gave a weak attempt of a smile back to him as he disappeared into the bathroom. She trembled when she heard the bathroom door lock. You can do this Kate, she told herself, it's only fifteen minutes. But no matter how hard she tired to focus her mind on something else, she could always feel the fear creeping up her spine.
She looked through the twilight of the sun and moon switching places outside in the sky, to the door. She expected that door to fling open any seconds and Anthony to come back in to finish her off.
She shook her head; Jack thinks you're weak, that you're a pushover. You can't do anything for yourself. Kate belittled herself. She heard a noise outside in the alleyway and her body froze but I'm so afraid, he's going to come back and kill me, just for the fun of it.
She closed her eyes, covering her face with her hands, crying for all the things that could never return to. Jack would never look at her as strong anymore, just some rag doll of a person that couldn't take care of herself, which was true, she was so afraid of everything now.
She wanted to talk to Jack, to tell him what happened, to tell him she loved how he cared for her, tell him she loved the way he consoled her, tell him that she loved him. But every time she thought of speaking, some invisible device in her mind clicked in and prevented her from talking.
She didn't want to be prodded by the doctors and nurses, or her mind probed for answers by the police. She didn't want to be near anyone, she just wanted to be with Jack, alone, secluded like on the island. But even there it wasn't safe.
Her left eye throbbed as her right eye saw the room spin uncontrollably. She heard a door open and hid her face in her knees as she clutched them to her chest. The whole incident replayed in her mind, from the bruises, to the acid tipped responses.
"Kate?" Jack asked as he sat before her, she looked at him lethargically, yet didn't have the strength to fall asleep and not be plagued by millions of parasitic nightmares that had to haunt her during her moment of rest.
"Kate, I'm here, don't worry," he comforted. She opened her mouth to shout apologies at him, to explain that this wasn't her, this wasn't who she was, who she wanted to be. But the words jumbled together and the sheer will of wanting to enlighten and express regret ran dry. All she could do was hold onto him, and beg God that she didn't cry, and could retain at least one shred of her dignity.
"Don't be ashamed Kate," he told her as he tipped her chin. Her eyes were so empty of any feeling. They looked so lifeless, the dim light from the setting sun didn't reflect in them leaving a morbid portrait, "You're allowed to be a lot of things right now, scared, selfish, withdrawn, confused, shocked, just to name a few. But Kate, I'm going to tell you this truthfully, you will never have anything to be ashamed of."
She loved him so much, she needed to tell him more then she needed to breathe, but her brain wouldn't permit it. "I'm not angry with you either, incase you think that. I'm relieved that you're not hurt more, I'm amazed and proud at how strong you are, and I'm so happy that you trust me enough to still let me be close to you, and help you, and hold you."
Oh Jack, she thought, you're the only person I trust right now. Kate brought her lips to his and kissed him, then kissed his cheek and laid her head against his shoulder. Jack smiled and pulled her into his lap, holding her for another moment, his smile grew rueful when he remembered what had happened. Someone had forced themselves on to her, forced her to be intimate with them.
He grew angry at this masked man, you didn't force something like that, you treasured it. Especially with someone you loved. He set his cheek so her soft curls danced over it, he knew without denying it a shred, that he loved her. He dreamed of telling her, but he didn't want to force her, or scare her.
"Are you hungry?" he asked, "I can make you something," he offered. She didn't say anything, "Kate you need to eat, remember what happened on the boat?" he asked reminding her.
Kate sighed, she didn't want to eat. Her stomach had not one single craving for food, but if it made Jack happy, she supposed she'd eat a little.
He helped her stand up and they walked into the kitchen, "After supper, I'll put up that lock, but after I have to turn in, I have to be at work for six tomorrow morning," he explained.
Kate smiled grimly, she was still terrified of being left alone, but this was all her fault, she didn't want to disrupt Jack's schedule even more so.
He quickly heated up two frozen dinners; he and Kate walked over to the couch and sat down. Kate managed to play with her food, moving it around and never ate a bit of it, thankfully Jack didn't notice from the disaster it had become on her plate.
She moved closer to him on the couch and indolently set her head on his shoulder. "How's you're cheek, the bruise looks pretty bad," he stated, then instantly remembered she wasn't going to answer. He brought out his hand, "is it good?" he asked giving a thumbs up, "mediocre?" He posed shaking his hand, "Or bad?" he questioned giving the thumbs down.
She smiled at his attempt at communication, and then hesitantly gave him the thumbs down. He nodded understandingly, he would've been surprised if she said differently, her cheek and eye were almost swollen beyond recognition.
"I'll get your medication and I'll give you an ice pack, but that's all I can do," he divulged sadly.
Jack, you've already done so much, Kate smiled. She grabbed the dishes which Jack insisted on taking from her and forced her to sit back down.
He dumped the uneaten food into the garbage, then pulled out a clean tea towel and filled it with ice cubes from the refrigerator. He grabbed a bottle of water and Kate's pills and sat beside her on the couch.
"You can only have one a day," he exclaimed, "That's very important okay, it can be dangerous if you take more then one." She nodded and he handed her the tiny pill and the cold bottle of water.
She swallowed it and set the water down on the glass table. Jack took the towel and placed it gently on Kate's swelling face, "Just hold it there for a little while. I'm just going to add that lock," he explained.
She watched as Jack added a new lock to the top of the door and a new on to the bottom of the door. How intently he worked, just for her. Just to make her feel safe. But she knew as soon as he left, that feeling of security would also vanish, but she had to get over it sometime.
Suddenly watching Jack work became hazy; her eyes were demanding that she close them, her head suddenly felt to heavy to lift up. Then it dawned on her that it was probably the morphine. She lay her head down on the sticking material of the couch, her hand that pressed the ice to her face slowly lost initiative to do that task and fell limply to her side.
Evermore Aww thanks Buddy (About me writing Kate well), I'm glad your Bio teacher forgot to talk to you (they're a breed of evil teachers)
Ethan: you think Sawyer and Outkast is scary, you haven't seen Shiggity's rendition of him as Emma Bunton…
Lara Chubb of Deep Hollow Hey Ethan's not even in this story
Ethan: GAH! Why do you wanna kill me? I…I jaut… (sobs) I have to go do Pilates…
Smilez4eva I doubt Sawyer will ever tell Jack, or when he does it'll be a really sad moment with a stringed quartet in the background…
Kate will not speak for a while, like eight flashbacks have to occur first…
FanOfLOST I never knew Rosie ate…
Ethan: Rosie's a sexy beast…
Okay… Umm… yeah…
Silent as a sidewalk? Lol never heard that before… I didn't know sidewalks were silent, I talk to mine all the time…
Liz Waller Sorry I was so long:( I feel so bad because I didn't update, but IU promise I'll update soon…
Pink Pinker I think they switched American idol up here in Canada too, but we have the third Canadian Idol coming up too, joy…
Ethan: I sang Moon River…
Oh so you don't wanna tell the other people about me? Fine… Get out! I'm just kidding ya, actually I didn't update for awhile, because I was swamped and tired and lazy…
Love2bLost Thanks for the review and I hope you liked this chapter…
CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88 Was I the only one who had faith that Sawyer and Kate weren't going to sleep together? Meh… How did you like tonight's episode? I got soooo pissed off when Shannon and Sayid kissed I was like W-T-F Mate! They should've let Jack and Kate kiss first, or at least Charlie and Claire…
Oreata
Ethan: No can do, after I take over the world I'm having all the humans terminated, and I'm marrying Rosie…
Chattypandagurl Lol didn't update fast this time… I hope you liked Jack's rendition of the song…
Tatiana Thanks, Yeah I thought that bit was cute too, I'm so full of fluffy goodness…
Rain1657 AWWW! Lol thanks, I have to go talk to my guidance counselor at school (she's blown me off 5 times! Count them 1,2,3,4,5 (no I'm not scared but my counselor should be…) And I have to decide what I wanna go to Uni for, I'm leaning between animation or script writing for a TV show. But I don't think my stories are all that strong, but I'll talk to Flippy McJerkson my counselor and ask her what she thinks…
Lostobsessivefreak I don't know I'm having a lot of fun with Kate as a mute (a whole 35 pages of fun) but I really LOVE writing the flashbacks, but their pretty graphic (or suggestive)
Freckles-101 Believe me I'd love to be made of time. (Waves to Chronis) HIYA PAPA
Chronis: (Shakes head)
He's just mad because I beat him at celebrity Poker…
Anyways, they made up a gesture system with the thumbs up, thumbs down thing. What it'll come up again…
Whirlwind-2005 Hmmm, the guy knew where Kate lived because he knows Kate, he just has to rough up some cops or maybe he's got some bad cops on the DL (Believe me it'll all make sense at the end)
Jack found Kate was hurt in the ER when he overheard the nurse say her name…Kate West (Her last name is the same in Pangs of Guilt I used the last name of one of my favorite superheroes Gimme a break I'm not THAT creative)
But it wouldn't be fun if Jack didn't stop worrying…
Oh yeah, he's leaving her alone, and it's…let's just say interesting…
JasmineHR
Ethan: (Grabs stick) Well :poke: I just :poke:poke: pressed his :poke: self destruct button :poke: And I'm not allowed to :jab: go into the change room with Shiggity :Jab:stab: Well :prod: if infuriates :thrust: is a big word :Jab:poke: thrust:dig: then this will be very discombobulating :poke:
Did I forget to mention that in a prior life Ethan was a Mr. Spell?
Next Chapter- You guys wanna see Kate's flashback? TO BAD YOU HAVE TO! BWA HA HA! You'd better like it, I spent a LOT of time on it. Because it was fun. Also a really adorably fluffy moment.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! The next chapter is not for those who are weak in the stomach, knees, or mind, who have just had a recent surgery, who have a bone disorder, those who wear corrective lens, or Canadian Robots..
Ethan: SON OF A…
