A/N: Lemme first say how sorry I am for the delay. School bit me a good one, and writer's block halted me. SORRY! I really am. Updates will be highly irregular until my classes end in mid-May. But please don't abandon me!

Lemme also say I do NOT like the new rating system.

Moving on…Hermione is finally getting her revenge in this chapter! Thank-you for being patient and I hope it meets your satisfaction!

I'm not quite happy with this chapter, which is one reason why it took so long to be posted. It just didn't want to get written, and once it was written I didn't like it anyway. So blame the delay on my muse Elanor, she's a rightful old crone who truly enjoys tormenting me.

Also, I have no clue what year Alicia Spinnet is in, so she's in this chapter as a seventh year. If I'm wrong, let me know. I'm pretty sure she's already left by now, but I'm not sure, and I also don't have the patience to make up another Gryffindor Chaser. Again - I'm sorry if I'm wrong.

The thank-you's to all my reviewers can be found at the bottom.

Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I only play with them.


Love and War

Chapter Six: Cure for the Itch

"Hermione, that's really gross," Lavender said, pointing at the Hermione's bed.

"I don't care," Hermione said. But in truth, she did care, and was rather worried about her bed. The purple color had indeed worn off during the night, but it seemed to have leaked off, and was now all over her bed sheets. They were now dyed bright maroon. But Hermione was glad that at least her body was back to normal - the color had finally rinsed off in the shower she had taken this morning, ironically coming off the same way it had come on two days prior.

"Well we do care Hermione," Parvarti replied as she turned away from the mirror she had been looking in, still combing back her hair.

"Yes, well there isn't much I can do about it, is there? Blame the mess on Fred and George; make them clean it if it bothers you both so much."

Lavender and Parfait traded looks. "Well one of them is your boyfriend, I'm sure they'd be more than willing," Lavender remarked with a giggle.

"I am not dating either of them!" Hermione said hotly.

"Sure, Hermione," Parvarti said. Neither of them seemed to believe her.

"We always knew you'd end up with a Weasley," Lavender giggled.

"We just had no clue that it would be one of Ron's older -"

"-And cuter-" Lavender added.

"Stop that!" Hermione demanded. She gave a huff, and, snatching up her book bag and a roll of parchment, she headed out of Gryffindor Tower and up to the Owlery.

She had woken up early today to take a shower, relieved that the only thing currently wrong with her was her hair color. She had been awake for most of the night, devising her revenge on the blasted Weasley Twins for all the mess they'd caused her in the past three days. It was a shame so many people let them get away with everything. But the truth was that they were of legal age to do as their own will saw fit. Mrs. Weasley could only do so much, and they'd basically come back to Hogwarts so that they could continue with the shop, not just because she had forced them to.

Letter still clutched in her hand, Hermione opened the door to the Owlery and peeked around for an owl. Pig immediately gave a loud, shrill hoot and flew down to her. Hermione giggled at the sight of the bunny ears, although they had shrunk in size during the night.

Eyeing the miniature owl, Hermione debated whether to use him or not. Deciding that he did seem eager for work, she tied to letter to his leg, smiling to herself as he danced around excitedly. She then led the hooting bird to the window. "Good luck, Pig," she said, watching as he flew away, bunny ears flopping madly in his flight.

Hopefully her mother would reply quickly to her letter; she had said that it was needed for extra credit after all…

She found herself skipping down the corridor on her way to breakfast. So when Harry, Ron and Ginny found her at breakfast later that morning, Hermione was in rather good spirits.

"Hello!" she greeted them. She pushed some eggs onto her fork and went back to reading her Charms book, which was propped up against a juice jug. The three of them noticed that the purple coloring had indeed worn off during the night, but her hair was still bright red.

"So - err - Hermione…you seem rather cheery this morning," Ginny pointed out. "What caused the change?"

"Oh, nothing really," Hermione replied, still reading her book.

"But what about Fred and George -" Ron began to say, but quickly stopped when Hermione looked up furiously.

"I am not going to let them get to me," she declared.

"Well after yesterday I'd have thought that that would be hard," Harry added. "I mean, they did dye your body purple -"

"-And turn your hair red -" Ron offered.

"-And make your mouth disappear -"

"-And spread rumors that you're shagging one of them," Ginny put in as well.

"That's not the point!" Hermione huffed, slamming her fork down on the table. A second later she composed herself. "I am not going to give Fred and George the satisfaction of my annoyance. Besides," she continued, and her oddly cheery smile returned, "I feel like taking matters into my own hands."

At this, Harry, Ron, and Ginny exchanged curious glances. They said nothing else as their schedules started being handed out. The four of them studied them for a moment, looking to see what they had that day.

"Binns, followed by Snape in the morning," Ron muttered.

"Well at least we have Hagrid in the afternoon," Hermione reasoned. She put her schedule down and went back to reading her Charms book.

"I've got Herbology first with the Ravenclaws," Ginny said.

"Tell Loony Lovegood I said hello!" Ron sniggered. Ginny elbowed him in the side.

"She's not that bad Ron," Harry replied, watching as Ginny smiled at him. Ron rubbed the sore spot Ginny had hit.

"I know," Ron mumbled. "She's just…loony, is all. No harm in mentioning she's off her rocker, is there?"

"Hey, Ginny?" Hermione suddenly asked, sounding eerily innocent.

Ginny turned to look at the other girl. "Yes, Hermione?"

"You never told me how to tell Fred and George apart."

Ginny's eyes lit up. "That's right; I never got the chance last time because your mouth disappeared."

Hermione leaned forward and said, "You will tell me, right?"

"Of course Hermione! It's real easy actually. You see, they -"

But Ron suddenly leaned into their conversation and interrupted. "Do you want Fred and George to know that you told Hermione?"

"What? Why?" Hermione and Ginny said in unison. Ron nodded his head in the direction of the doors and the four of them saw that the twins were arriving for breakfast.

Ginny sighed. "It looks like we'll have to try this again later Hermione." Hermione scowled, reluctantly getting up and following her friends. But thinking back to the letter she sent earlier, she smiled brightly as she passed the twins, who stared at her curiously as they sat down where the four of them had just left.

"You don't suppose she's up to something, do you Fred?" asked George.

"Of course she is," Fred answered, buttering a roll and shoving the whole thing in his mouth.

"You don't seem worried."

"Should we be? It's only Hermione."

"You do remember Ron and Harry's warning, right?" George asked, flinging some oatmeal at a noisy first year.

"It'll take Hermione lots of time in the library to come up with a clever plan to get back at us, and that could take weeks. After she figures out a prank, she'll have to plan it out, and it'll be a couple of months before she'll put any of it into action."

George simply stared at his twin for a moment, pondering what he had just said. "What makes you so sure? Hermione can get her homework done way before its due, and she can write three extra sheets of parchment. Why do you think it'll take Hermione months to plan a prank?"

"Hermione's a lot like Percy; she wouldn't know a proper and vengeful prank even if it was prancing about in a purple tutu and singing 'I'm the King of Madagascar.' She'll want to ace this like she aces everything else. But, this is you and I she's up against, so there's no reason to worry at all."

"So good luck to her, I suppose?"

"Exactly!"

"Sure Fred, whatever you say."


"It's Saturday Hermione!" Ron moaned as he, Hermione and Harry left the common room. "There is no need for you to go to the library again! You've been there every spare minute all week!"

"Ron's right, Hermione," Harry replied. "Come outside with Ron and me, we're helping Ginny practice for Chaser tryouts next week. She'd probably like to see you for some moral support."

"I can't," Hermione reasoned. "I have all this work to do -"

"It's only been the first week of classes though Hermione!"

"I want to stay ahead!"

"Please Hermione -" Harry started to say, but Hermione ducked quickly into the library, calling out a quick, "I'll see you both at lunch!" Madam Pince gave Hermione a scolding glare for the noise.

Hermione had been so anxious to get into the library ever since breakfast earlier. Her mom had finally sent the package she had requested, and she'd hastily hidden it in her robes so that nobody would ask about it. Now, she could do some proper research and really plan her prank. She'd been theorizing that it would work accordingly, but she'd needed this package to be sure.

Walking up and down aisles of books, she rummaged among some tattered texts. She found some charms books, and settled into a table in the back of the library. Time flew by and Hermione was vaguely aware of everything around her. She hid the package in her lap, away from any possible prying eyes. She had a sneaking suspicion that Fred and George would try to find out what she was up to in the library, besides homework.

Many tests and several sore fingers later, Hermione smiled triumphantly. Her theory was working better than she thought. Checking the time, she saw that she would need to hurry if she was to find Harry and Ron in the Great Hall. The good news was that she'd been able to finalize the first stage of her plan perfectly.

Now all she had to do was raid the laundry.


"I don't get you Hermione," Ron said.

"What's your problem now, Ron?"

"Last weekend you holed yourself up in the library and refused to join us on the Quidditch pitch. Now this weekend you're all excited and anxious about coming to our first practice. It's not like you."

"I'm allowed to leave the library," Hermione huffed.

"I never said -" Ron started to say, but Hermione interrupted.

"I want to see how good Ginny is," she declared, and then flounced ahead of Harry and Ron. The two of them paused for a moment, and looked at each other.

"She's been acting strangely all week," Ron remarked.

"What do you suppose got into her?" Harry asked.

"It's not house elf rights, that's for sure. Come on, let's follow her." Hermione had already reached the Quidditch pitch by the time the two boys walked after her.

Hermione placed herself among the stands, her book bag beside her, except she had knitting needles, wool, and a single text book inside it. Her wand was already in her hand, waiting for the right moment. She watched as Fred scratched the back of his neck.

She aimed her wand at the knitting needles, watching as they took to the air and started clicking away. She concentrated on that until she saw the scarlet robes reach the center of the pitch below, then she left the needles to their own devices. Fred and George had just seen her.

Fred had nudged George just before they pushed off into the air. "What's she doing here?" he asked suspiciously.

"She's here to see Ginny's practice," Harry replied from Fred's left.

"There're more people up there than usual though," George said quietly, scratching his upper arm.

"What? Did all of Gryffindor Tower come to oversee our first practice?" Fred demanded. The twins exchanged glances, then looked curiously at Ron and Harry.

"What's she up to?" George demanded.

"Who?" Ron asked.

"Hermione!" the twins said in unison.

"We haven't a clue," Harry replied honestly. Fred and George seemed unconvinced.

"Are you boys even paying me the slightest bit of attention?" asked Katie Bell, their new team captain. Harry, Ron, Fred and George immediately faced her, then prepared for practice.

Hermione watched from up in the stands. She could barely make out Lavender and Parvati's gossip from behind her, or hear Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan's excited talk on the new team members and their brooms. She couldn't make out Colin and Dennis Creevey's chatter about Ginny's skill either. Hermione had one thought on her mind, and as the seven players took to the air, she slyly pointed her wand in the twins' direction and whispered the incantation. Smiling brightly, she went back to her knitting, waiting for the show.

Fred suddenly felt very funny. If he'd been itchy earlier it was nothing compared to how he felt now. Aiming the bludger in George's direction, he scratched at his knee and then moved his fingers down his leg, fruitlessly trying to get rid of the itch.

"What the -" he started to say, but the bludger flew passed him and just barely missed his nose. Breathing a sigh of relief, he turned and chased after it, but slowed again when his stomach and upper arms demanded that they be scratched. He wiggled a little on his broom, attempting to scratch the back of his thigh as he flew, but only aggravated the itch further. Katie shot him a questioning look.

Flying after his twin, Fred noticed that he seemed to be having the same problems he was having. He put on some speed and flew up next to him.

"Hey, George!" Fred yelled as he aimed the single bludger they were using away from Harry.

George was carefully balancing himself on his broom with one hand as his other reached to scratch his back. "Yeah Fred?" he called back.

"Are you as itchy as I am?" George asked, watching as Fred reached for a particular spot on his lower back. George's entire body was horribly itchy. He'd felt this way ever since he put his Quidditch robes on, but as soon as he was in the air it had hit full force.

The bludger flew just past Harry, and the twins forced themselves to forget about their current itchy-ness and focus on the practice. Katie, Ginny, and Alicia Spinnet had a hard time staying in balance because their two beaters were doing such a horrendous job with the bludger. The twins kept pausing to scratch, or would miss their target with the bat. They finally stopped in midair close to the ground, the practice continuing above them.

"What the hell is going on?" Fred asked his twin. He ducked just in time and missed the bludger, but it flew up and nearly toppled Ginny right off her broom again.

"I don't know!" George yelled back. "I think it's gotten worse though!"

"Well how the -?" Fred started to say, but the bludger came whirling back and whacked into the back of his broom. Fred was just able to hold on with one hand as the rest of his body flew off. He dangled in the air, his right hand clutching the boom handle. He kept scratching as he slowly swung back and forth.

"What is going on?" Katie demanded, flying over quickly. "Your sister was nearly thrown off her broom by the bludger and now you're dangling there and - why are you scratching like that?"

"It's - so - itchy!" Fred cried out, his hand holding the broom slipping. George tried to help his twin, but by know he'd dropped the bludger bat and was using both his hands to scratch away.

"Are you both okay?" Harry asked. He had the snitch already in his closed fist and was eyeing the twins warily.

Fred glanced up at the stands and saw Hermione's hands trying to cover her laughter. George turned and looked up at her too, and then turned back around when he heard a dull thud. He found his twin sprawled out on the ground below, scratching away. His broom had fallen on top of him.

"Going - to kill - Hermione," Fred replied angrily.

Harry narrowed his eyes in confusion, then looked to the stands. "Where'd she go?" he asked, and the twins turned to look as well.

By now, the entire team had halted practice and was staring at the scratching twins. Ron flew up between Harry and Ginny and asked, "What's wrong with them?"

Harry shrugged and answered, "I have no idea. They're blaming this on Hermione though."

"Well, here she comes," Ginny interrupted, landing on the ground. "It looks like they can ask her themselves."

Indeed, Hermione had appeared on the pitch and was still trying to stifle her laughter. Her face was red and her hand was covering her mouth as she stumbled towards them, nearly falling over in glee. The rest of the team had followed Ginny and were standing on the ground around Fred. George was still up in the air, one hand on the back of his neck and the other was attacking his knee.

"W-what did - you - do?" Fred demanded.

Hermione stopped hiding her laughter at the sight of the twins. Fred looked even angrier and more aggravated then before.

"Not - f-f-funny!" he stuttered, scratching the side of his face.

George fell off his broom just then and nearly landed on Harry. He was frantically scratching his upper thigh.

"Hermione -?" Ginny started to say, but George rolled over and knocked into her legs, toppling her into Harry, who luckily caught her.

"What is going on?" Katie demanded, irked that valuable practice time was being wasted.

"Help - what - make - stop!" George cried out. He was still rolling around on the ground and smashed right into his twin.

"No!" Hermione said, finally calming down a bit although she was still smiling. "It serves you both right!"

"Hermione, what did you do?" asked Parvati. She, along with everyone else who'd been watching in the stands, had followed Hermione down to the pitch. Lavender and Parvati were standing right behind her, looking down at the Weasley twins in shock.

"Itching powder," Hermione replied coolly.

"What?" Ron asked, a dumb expression on his face.

Harry looked at her in surprise. "Where did you get itching powder?" he asked. "It's a muggle product."

"I owled my mum and told her to send me some," Hermione answered.

"Make it stop!" George howled.

"How in the world…?" Ginny asked.

"I put a spell on the itching powder. It was quite complicated, since I had to stick it to their robes and then make sure that it would get itchier and itchier -"

"Oh Hermione!" Lavender wailed. "How could you do that to your own boyfriend?"

"I am not -!"

"Finite Incantatem!" Parvati shouted, pointing her own wand at the twins. They both gave loud cries of pain and started scratching harder.

Hermione turned to look at Lavender and Parvati. "Nice try, but you've just made it worse," she replied. "Only the doer of the spell can lift it."

"Then - lift - it!" Fred shouted, attempting to lift himself up. George rolled over again and knocked Fred to the ground.

"Why should I?" Hermione demanded. "You deserve this! After all the horrendous things you've done to me and all the pranks you've pulled, I believe this is fair punishment."

"Hermione, don't you think -" Ron started to say, but Hermione flashed angry eyes at him and he immediately shut his mouth.

"How in the world did you make it so painful?" Harry asked.

"A few spells and charms, really," Hermione replied. "I smuggled their Quidditch uniforms -"

"Hey!" Fred and George cried out indignantly.

"- And I attached the itching powder to their robes. When I gave the incantation, the itching powder became eight times stronger and will attack their skin until the reversal spell is cast by the same person who started it."

"You are so cruel Hermione," Lavender remarked in a hushed tone.

Katie gave a sigh of defeat. "Well, I guess practice is over. We'll try again Monday after dinner." Her and Alicia shouldered their brooms and walked off to change.

Fred and George were now whimpering in agony. "Hermione….please!"

"Hmph!" Hermione replied, and walked off the pitch. Lavender and Parvati hurried after her, both shouting about how unfair she was being.

Ron, Harry and Ginny exchanged glances, then looked down upon the twins wriggling forms.

"They look so uncomfortable," Ginny said softly.

"Yeah," Harry added. "Wish there was something we could do."

They both looked at Ron, who had a maniacal grin on his face. "We did warn them."

"So, what do you suppose we should do with them?" Harry asked. "Can we really just leave them here like this?"

"If Hermione can, of course we can," Ginny answered. Harry and Ron quickly followed after her as she walked away. The crowd that had gathered slowly followed, mumbling among themselves about what had just happened.

"ARRRGGGG!" Fred screamed, scratching at his lower back. "My crotch is never going to be the same."

"You and your bloody theory!" George yelled back. "'It'll take her months to get back at us…' I'm going to kill you for your bloody theory!"

"Don't - yeow! - don't blame - me!" Fred said as he scratched away.

"We're going to have scratch marks for weeks, thanks to her," George whimpered.

"We need - a new - plan -"

"No we don't!"

"Then - what - do you - suggest - ouch! - we do?" Fred shot back angrily.

Silence followed this question as both of them continued scratching at the mess Hermione had made. Their cries of pain and aggravation were all that were heard for a little while.

"How are we going to get back to the castle?" George asked.

Fred seemed to realize this problem as well. There was nobody around anymore. "Impudent wench," Fred growled.


A/N: And the mayhem has begun! Again, I'm am very sorry this chapter was not out sooner; I really had trouble with it and I hope you are all happy with Hermione's revenge.

My thanks to everyone who reviewed so far, and boy was it many of you!

And YES there will be romance in here! Patience on that, I'm building up the humor! Romance has a back seat for now. And if your curious as to which twin will get to be with Hermione, check out my profile - it says who on there!