A/N: Hello All! Thanks a million for the reviews! I'm sure by now you know where to find my responses to them…
Anyway: the poll was such fun! Not many people responded, but to those that did, thanks so much for your opinions. The next poll as well as my answer can be found at the end!
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Love and War
Chapter Seven: The Gossip Queens Strike Again
"Hermione, please!"
"Make it stop!"
"We'll do anything!"
Hermione finally turned around to face the twins, who lay withering and complaining in the Entrance Hall. They had somehow managed to crawl up from the Quidditch pitch, and upon their arrival at the castle doors, they had come across the trio and Ginny leaving the Great Hall from lunch.
"Hermione, we're begging you!" Fred hollered pitifully. He started scratching his ankle with both hands and promptly lost his balance. George was already on the ground and cushioned his twins fall.
Ron was looking at his brothers with utter excitement. "Hermione," he said, sounding awestruck. "Hermione, you have my twin brothers at your mercy! Listen to them beg! They've never begged for anything before!"
"This is a one time thing," grumbled George.
"Free us! You've had your payback -"
"- And we're sorry -"
"- So please let us out of this!"
"It hurts!"
Hermione stood there with two wriggling, identical masses scratching at her feet. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at them. "No," she replied, and started walking away, exiting the doors and heading outside.
"WHAT?" shrieked Fred. Ron, Harry and Ginny backed away quickly.
"She - has - got - to be - kidding!" scratched George.
"Get back here you wicked wench!" screamed Fred, running after Hermione as best he could with itchy ankles. Hermione paused long enough to look over her shoulder and see Fred chasing her. She began to move away quickly, scrambling backwards, but Fred reached out and snatched one of her arms, and pulled. Hermione tried to pull her arm back, but instead tripped backwards and began to fall. Fred lost his balance as well, and the two of then rolled in a heap down the hill to Hagrid's hut.
"Hermione!" Ginny yelled. She pushed George out of her way and ran after Fred and Hermione. Ron and Harry watched in amusement from the castle doors with George scratching his legs beside them.
"Ouch! Get off me!" Hermione shrieked.
"This is entirely your fault!" Fred snapped.
"That's my leg you're scratching!"
"Like it matters anyway."
"Are you both okay?" Ron called down to them. Neither of them seemed to hear him though. Ginny stopped when she reached them, but they paid her no heed either.
"If you hadn't turned me purple none of this would have happened!"
"Nobody told you to take a shower then!"
"You and your damn pranks! You've done more cruel jokes than you have freckles!"
"I'll try and grow more freckles then so the numbers are even, will that please you?"
"No. Now get off me!"
"I'm scratching my legs! It's not my fault you're in their way!"
"I said get off!" Hermione let out an angry shriek and swatted at Fred's head. Ginny quickly stepped in and seized her arms and hauled her to her feet.
"Hermione, just spare them," Ginny reasoned. "They're both going to be sore for at least a week. Besides," she added, lowering her voice a bit, "if you leave them alone for awhile I'll be able to tell you how to tell them both apart."
"Hey! What are you both whispering about?" Fred demanded, attempting to scratch both his stomach and his back at the same time.
"I was informing Hermione about poisoning darts."
"Poisoning darts?"
"Yes, poisoning darts. What's it to you anyway?" Ginny snapped. Fred immediately backed off and went back to his itchy body. Ginny turned back to Hermione and said coaxingly, "Don't you think they've deserved enough?"
"You listed everything yourself! They've changed my body color and dyed my hair red, they made my mouth disappear, and now Lavender and Parvati think I'm dating one of them, if not both!"
"You made them itchy with a muggle product they've never even heard of," Ginny replied.
"It's itchy!" Fred whined at their feet. Hermione sent a kick in his direction and missed.
The next second George landed with a loud "Oof!" next to Fred, having been rolled down the hill courtesy of Harry and Ron, who were running down the slope after him.
"Just spare them, Hermione," Ginny urged. "I'm pretty sure they've learned their lesson after this. I've never seen either of them beg before, so they must be at your mercy."
Hermione thought about this for a moment. Sure, she'd gotten her revenge, and indeed it felt great to have them realize she could prank with the best of them. She didn't want the glory feeling to end yet though. She was also afraid that they'd try to get back at her once she gave in.
"Hermione…?" Ginny asked. She looked expectantly at the girl.
"Fine," she replied evenly, pulling out her wand.
"No!" demanded Ron. "I like them like this, make it permanent!"
"We - will - kill you," grumbled an itchy George.
"Finite Incantatem!" Hermione said, pointing her wand at their scratching forms. Fred and George immediately let out whoops of happiness, both of them falling to the ground and remaining still.
"Are you both alright?" Ginny asked, staring at them.
"Mhph," came a reply, the sound muffled by the ground.
Hermione raised an eyebrow. "There will still be side effects," she added. When neither of them said anything, Hermione gave a shrug, and walked up the hill and back to the castle. The other three followed her lead. Ron looked a little downhearted as he cast one last look at his brothers.
"We're free," Fred said, pushing himself up of the earth.
"My body will never be the same though," George grumbled. "Is that what she meant by side effects?"
Fred was about to answer when he quickly closed his mouth and looked at his arms. "I feel twitchy."
George paused and looked at his own arms and body. "I feel tingly. This is a very strange feeling. We should ask her how she did this and make a product out of this. We'd sell a fortune!"
"She'd demand profit for this as well," Fred pointed out.
"Most likely, yes."
"Let's figure out how to get rid of this itch entirely and then we can think about selling it."
Together, they hurried back up to the castle and bustled into the Great Hall, hoping to catch the end of lunch. Unfortunately, lunch had ended already, so they headed for the kitchens instead, only to be halted by Filch.
"What are you both doing down here?" he barked. "You don't belong down here. You're both Gryffindors. Back up to your Tower you rotten tricksters before I give you both detentions!"
"He's a tad touchy, ain't he?" George grumbled as they headed up a flight of stairs.
"Can't blame him. I'm sure he was thrilled when we left."
Wandering back up to Gryffindor Tower, Fred and George reminded themselves of Hermione's clever prank.
"We would have seen that coming if you hadn't underestimated her," George pointed out.
"How was I supposed to know that there's a muggle product called "itchy powder"? Fred kicked at a suit of armor, which complained loudly. "She's really something. A little too brilliant for her own good, I think."
"What are you getting at?" George replied, knowing that funny tone in his twin's voice.
"She owes us. Our pranks weren't that bad!"
"We did four pranks on her Fred," his twin reminded
"So?"
"We turned her body purple, we caused her hair to turn red, we made her mouth disappear and we're very closer to publicly humiliating her."
"So?"
"I think we're pretty even right about now."
"She still owes us. Just a nice backrub, or even a better counter-curse. The one she used isn't working too well. I'm not asking for much. Besides, she's a good girl - she should pity us," Fred reasoned.
"Ginny's forcing her to pity us, I say."
"We didn't do anything to her that caused bodily damage! She's awfully lucky I'm still able to walk, although going to the loo will be an interesting experience when that time comes around."
"Thank-you, brother dear, for sharing that with me," George remarked sourly, squeezing his eyes shut.
"Well, we won't do anything else to her, so long as she agrees not to do anything to us," Fred continued. "We'll be even after she offers us backrubs. I don't want to keep getting her angry. It's never any fun when she's angry - she just takes away the enjoyment out of everything. I wouldn't be surprised if I wake up tonight and find myself shriveled from all the scratching I've done!"
"If you could kindly shut-up about your willie, it would be greatly appreciated," George remarked with a twinge.
Having reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, they gave the password and hurried in, hoping to rummage through their supplies and find extra Canary Creams. They'd take turning into birds over starvation any day.
Outside in the hallway, Lavender and Parvati tiptoed out of the shadows, both suppressing giggles.
"Did you hear them?" Lavender gushed. "What do you think will happen if Hermione really did do them bodily harm?"
"For her sake, I hope she didn't! I'm sure she'd get lonely in bed," Parvati replied, a huge grin spreading over her face. "It can't be much fun when your lover can't please you!"
"We have to go tell her!" Lavender said. "Come on, I'm sure she's in the library…"
Dinner later that night started off normal enough. The twins made sure to sit far enough away from Hermione, in case she still wanted to let off steam. They were still twitching from the after-effects of the spell anyway. Hermione though, was perfectly content to see them sit several seats down from her.
"How did you ever get the idea to attack them with itching powder anyway?" Harry asked, spearing a potato with his fork.
"I'm not sure really," Hermione said thoughtfully. She watched as Ron made the noises of a starving man as he ate his chicken. Turning away slightly put off, she said, "I thought of tickling charms, but Fred and George would have immediately counter-cursed that. So I decided to use my muggle background as an advantage."
"They'll never forget it," Ginny said with a smile. "As a matter of fact, I think they're still feeling it."
"Oh, they are," piped in Lavender. She and Parvati were sitting across from Ginny and looking positively delighted about something.
"How do you know this?" Hermione asked.
"We heard them talking earlier," Parvati supplied, lazily swirling her soup with her spoon. "I didn't know you gave your boyfriend backrubs."
"I am not dating - wait, what?"
"Yeah, we heard them saying how they want the pranks to stop, because when your angry you hurt the relationship," Lavender interjected. She was leaning across the table, glancing back and forth between Hermione and the twins further down the table.
"Don't you feel terrible about how you treated your boyfriend?" Parvati asked. "By the way, which one of them are you dating? How do you tell them apart? Have you ever confused them?"
"Where are you two getting these ideas?" Hermione nearly shrieked.
"Oh come on now Hermione!" Lavender replied, looking the girl in the eyes. "Everyone knows that you're shagging one of the Weasley Twins. We heard them say so earlier."
Hermione's jaw dropped.
"One of them was saying how you're lucky he can walk. He just hopes he can function in bed. How horrible would you feel if he couldn't satisfy you, all because of an awful revenge prank you had to play on them?"
Hermione sat there looking dumbstruck. Ginny was looking at Lavender and Parvati in disgust. "I never wanted to see my brothers in that type of light," she muttered, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. "One of them shagging Hermione? Really, where in the world did you hear that?"
"From them, of course," Parvati remarked, as if this were quite obvious.
"They said it themselves," Lavender added. "We heard them."
"Hermione?" Ron asked. "Hermione, are you all right?"
Hermione said nothing. She sat there, her mouth now closed. Her eyes though were glazed and angry. "They're telling the whole entire school that I'm with them. They're still keeping that joke going! Not only that, but they still haven't decided which one of them I'm with!"
"You must be with both of them then!" Lavender gushed with excitement.
"Oh a love triangle!" Parvati said, utterly shocked. "You're the last person I expected to be involved in that sort of thing! And with twin brothers of all people!"
"It would be even more scheming if it were a twin brother and sister."
"Excuse me?"
Lavender and Parvati quickly left the table, giggling and whispering excitedly amongst themselves. Ron, Harry and Ginny quickly leaned in closer to Hermione, anxiously watching her for some kind of implosion.
"I really hope that's not the next rumor I'll hear about myself," she mumbled, dropping her head into her hands.
"Hermione, look," Ginny said soothingly, placing a comforting hand on the girls back. "We'll just wave it off as nothing. It isn't true after all. Fred and George are probably sore that you got them good, that's all. We'll kick their butts later and all will be okay, alright?"
"Yeah, sure," she answered distractedly. Fred and George were now leaving the table, robes bulging with extra food for experiments. Hermione quickly snatched up her butter knife and was nearly out of her seat when both Ginny and Ron hauled her back.
"I said kick their butts, not murder them," Ginny laughed softly.
"Mum might miss them," Ron added, "regardless of how much she complains about them."
"Fine then," Hermione huffed. She dropped the knife on the table and raised herself from her seat. Harry, Ron and Ginny quickly followed her, Ron looking longingly at his dinner plate. The four of them hurried out of the Great Hall and up to the common room, Hermione quietly muttering every spell she knew under her breathe.
Harry gave the password and they hurried in. Immediately they spotted the twins off in a corner, hunched over a sheet of parchment. Hermione stormed over, pulling her wand out as she went. The twins didn't notice her until it was too late.
They sat there, both of them gazing at Hermione with unmistakable fear. She pointed her wand at one two, then shifted to the other, unable to decide which one's bollocks she should heck off first. Ginny, Harry and Ron stood a few feet behind her, attempting to block the ground that would form when everyone came back from dinner.
"Hello, Hermione," Fred replied, finally finding his courage.
"So…" Hermione started to say. "Have you decided which one of you I'm shagging? Or do you just like to hear the rumors that I've got you both sharing my bed?"
"I'd like it better in George's bed; his is much bigger and we can't get in the girls dorm -"
"Oh shut-up!" Hermione snapped. "Why are you still spreading the rumors?"
"What do you mean still -?"
"We haven't been -"
"Don't play dumb!" Hermione yelled. She pushed her wand under Fred's nose. "This isn't funny. You've done enough to me already. But if this is the way you want things, then fine! But I'm warning you - you have messed with the wrong witch!"
And with that Hermione stormed off, leaving two very startled twins in her wake.
A/N: No pranks this chapter, but I'll be making up for that in Chapter Eight. Stay tuned, and please review!
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