Mom sold her house as soon as we got back to Earth and we moved into dad's house permanently. During the day, everything was fine. SG-1 was on stand down for a while so I could get readjusted after spending a week on the Nox home world.
During the day, I had things to keep me busy…I didn't have to think. But, the nights were bad. Too many dreams. They started sleeping with me again and that helped some. But, I would still wake up in a cold sweat or tears or screaming or all three. When that happened, they would always wrap their arms around me and comfort me until I fell asleep again.
I was almost eleven. I was too old to sleep with my parents. So, the night before they had to go back to work, I crawled out of their bed and went to my own room. I pulled the covers over my head and held my Air Force Bear. Even as scared as I was, it didn't take very long for me to fall asleep.
When I awoke the next morning around 6:00, they were both standing over me grinning. "What?" I asked.
"Good morning, angel" said mom.
"Morning Sunshine," said dad.
I stretched and wiped the sleep from my eyes. "Morning."
"How'd you sleep, Sunshine?" asked dad tentatively.
I thought about it and shrugged. "Good, I guess." I thought again. "Hey! No bad dreams!"
"Sweet!" said dad, making me smile. "Now, that's the reason I call you 'Sunshine'. Are you hungry?" he asked hopefully.
My appetite had been nil since I came home. I only ate when forced and even then it wasn't much. "Yeah."
Mom pulled me from bed. "Come on."
Dad pulled me up on his back. "How 'bout omelets?"
"Sounds good," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and laying my head on his shoulder.
He carried me downstairs and sat me on a barstool. "What do you want in your omelet?"
"Ummm….cheese, ham, and mushrooms."
"A girl after my own heart." He grinned. "How about you, honey?" he asked mom.
"Same," she said, pulling the juice and milk out of the fridge. "Which do you want first, sweetheart?"
"Milk please." She poured me a glass and handed it to me. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
I drank a little. "Hey, mom?"
"Yeah angel?"
"What time do you have to go in?"
"Ummm…8:30. Why?"
"No reason. Can you drop me off at Cassie's on your way?"
"Nope."
"Why not?" I asked drinking more milk.
"You don't need a babysitter today. You're coming with us. General Hammond asked us to bring you. He said the Tok'ra wanted to talk to you."
"And it begins," I mumbled.
"What?" asked dad.
"Nothin' dad."
"Sweetheart…" he began.
There was a knock at the door. "Who in the hell can that be this early in the morning?" mumbled mom. "I'll get it." She got up from the table and tousled my hair. "You behave."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said.
Before dad could continue his sentence, I interrupted him. "Dad, can I go watch some TV?"
"Honey…" I just looked at him. "Yeah, go ahead." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, watching as I stood up and started to walk out of the kitchen. He gently grabbed my arm. "Hey. Are you ok?" he asked quietly.
"I'm fine."
"Sunshine?" he growled at me.
"I'm ok dad. Really." I gave him my goofiest grin...at least I tried to. I know it came out strained.
"Ok. Go see if Rocket Power's on TV." He hugged and kissed me before ruffling my hair.
"Sweet," I grinned as he laughed.
I ran into the living room as mom opened the door. I flipped on the TV and curled up on the couch to drink my milk and watch Rocket Power. I didn't hear mom walk back to the kitchen. I didn't see who had been at the door.
About ten minutes later, dad hollered "Sunshine, breakfast is ready."
"Coming."
I turned off the TV and walked in the kitchen. My heart stopped. Jacob Carter was sitting at the table. I had a very sick feeling. I was kind of hoping that the Tok'ra would send someone other than my grandfather…no…Jacob. I'd almost killed him. I couldn't think of him as my grandfather.
I looked at dad and, uneasily, sat down next to mom. "It's ok baby. Here," he said putting my omelet in front of me. "Eat." he said as mom put a glass of orange juice in front of me.
I started to eat, barely tasting the food. My throat was so dry, I could barely swallow my food. I didn't pay much attention to what was said. I kind of zoned out. The Linkin' Park song In the End kept running through my head. I felt someone or something probing my mind, so I concentrated on the song.
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard and got so far. But, in the end it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn't even matter
Mom touched my arm making me jump. "Angel."
"Hmmm? What?"
She smiled and brushed my hair out of my eyes. "My dad asked you a question."
"What?" I asked, not quite looking at him.
"What's that mean?" he repeated.
"What's 'what' mean?" I asked, still not quite looking at him.
"'In the end it doesn't even matter'."
"It's a song. It's called In the End by Linkin' Park. It keeps me distracted. It helps me to kind of zone out when I'm…" I stopped. They were all staring at me.
"Jake, she didn't hear our conversation."
They all laughed. I don't like being laughed at. I'd spent most of my life being laughed at and put down. I felt sick at my stomach. I put down my fork and pushed away from the table.
"May I be excused?" I asked mom.
The laughter died. "Baby…" she began.
I looked at dad. "Dad, I'm finished. Can I go?"
"Sunshine, we weren't laughing…" he started.
"Don't call me that." I said with a short moment of satisfaction at the look of distress on dad's face.
Jacob looked at me strangely. "Hey now."
I stood. "Fuck off." I orbed out without waiting for a reply. There was that language thing again.
I orbed to my room without a second thought. I didn't even notice my door was still open until they were almost to it. They were running. It was kind of funny…the looks on their faces as I nodded to the door and it slammed shut. I nodded at the lock and locked the door.
I heard someone pounding on it. "Jessica Caitlin O'Neill. Open this damned door right now," yelled dad.
"Go to hell!" I shouted back and nodded towards the stereo. Linkin' Park's Runaway blared through the speakers. I calmly got dressed and then fell to the floor sobbing.
They laughed at me. They know better. They know I don't like to be laughed at. Oh God. My own parents were laughing at me.
They were still pounding on the door. I heard a key turn in the door, but didn't move.
"Baby, what's going on? What's wrong?" asked dad falling to his knees in front of me.
I put my head on my knees and wrapped my arms around them not saying anything. Mom sat down next to me. "Baby, talk to us."
I shook my head in anger, the tears still falling. Mom reached for me. "Don't touch me." Her eyes widened in pain as she dropped her hand.
"Sam, I think I know what happened," said Jacob.
"What dad?" said mom, not looking away from me.
"We laughed."
"Yeah."
"She thinks we were laughing at her."
"That's bullshit, Jacob," said dad. "She knows we would never laugh at her."
"Jack's right dad." She turned to me. "Baby, you know…"
"Look at her face, guys."
I tried to keep my face impassive, but failed. They saw what they did. They saw the pain on my face.
"Damn," said dad. "Baby, I'm sorry." He reached for me, but I jerked away.
"I don't like being laughed at," I said, voice full of anguish.
"We know."
"Then why were you laughing at me?" I cried looking at him and then away.
Dad reached for me again. This time, I let him wrap his arms around me. "Baby, we weren't laughing at you. We were laughing because of what you said."
"In other words, you were laughing at me," I said.
"No," he said grabbing my arms and forcing me to look at him. "Baby, look at me. You said that song kept you distracted. You didn't hear Jake say that he needed some distraction from Tok'ra business. The look on his face when you said that was priceless. You orbed out before we could explain."
"Sam, can I?" asked Jacob.
"Go ahead, dad."
He knelt in front of me. I shied away. A moment of pain flashed through his eyes. "Jessie I'm not going to hurt you. You know I am part of the Tok'ra resistance." I nodded. "Well, I talked to Jack and Sam and asked them to allow you to go to the Tok'ra base with me."
And it begins
"Why?" I asked aloud.
"Well, I have a lot of friends who would like to meet you." He smiled. "And it would give me the chance to get to know my newest grandchild better…and Selmak would like to get to know you too."
To say that shocked the hell out of me was an understatement. I knew there were two being in there, but I didn't know they could "talk" to each other. I stared, open mouthed at three smiling people.
"Really?" I tried to sound sarcastic. Failed miserably. Couldn't keep that pesky hope out of my voice. I wiped the tears out of my eyes.
"Really," said Jacob grinning.
"But…" dad held up one finger. "There's one stipulation."
"One stipu-what?" I asked
"Stipulation," he laughed and tousled my hair.
"What's that mean?"
"There's something that has to happen in order for you to go with him."
"What's that?"
"I told him, where you go, we go," he said nuzzling the back of my head.
"Sweet."
"Baby, your father is not the best of influences," she said laughing at the expression on dad's face.
"Yeah, but you love me anyway," he said pulling her close to him for a kiss.
"Yeah I do," said mom.
"Sheesh. Rent a room already," I groaned.
"That's enough out of you," said dad standing up. He pulled me to my feet and threw me over his shoulder. I almost fell when he carried me down the stairs, because I was laughing so hard.
Jacob's cab was waiting outside. "I have to head back today, so I guess I'll meet you three at the base tomorrow."
"Ok. See you then dad," said mom.
Dad sat me down on the couch. "Here's what we're gonna do." He pointed to me. "You, my only sunshine, need to go pack enough for at least three weeks."
"Like what?"
"Shorts, socks, unmentionables," he blushed. "T-shirts…oh and don't forget the Gameboy."
"You just want to play The Simpsons."
"Damn skippy. Now go." He swatted at me as I ran past them.
I grabbed my duffel and decided what to take: t-shirts, shorts, panties, socks, pj's. All the necessities.
Guitar, Air Force Bear, Gameboy, Games, CD player, and CD's…hmmm…Linkin' Park, New Found Glory, Ataris, Green Day, Weezer, Blink-182, Toad…yeah that'll work.
"Don't forget your toothbrush and Flintstones!" yelled mom.
"Ok…ok…ok."
About half an hour later, I was ready to go. Going downstairs, I went to the kitchen to get some necessities…ramen noodles, spaghettios, fruit loops, etc. I heard laughter behind me.
"Kiddo, you moving out?" asked dad with a grin.
"No. But, I'm taking no chances with alien food." I grinned goofily. "I sure as hell ain't eating MRE's."
"Alrighty then." he said flipping me over his shoulder again. He picked up my bag and mom got the guitar. "Ok, kids, let's move out."
He tossed me in the truck and the gear in the back. We drove to the base, joking and laughing. But, I was getting nervous. I hadn't spent any time with Jacob since the Nox home world. According to mom, he didn't hold a grudge. I just wasn't sure. I mean, it was my fault.
"Whatcha think' 'bout?" asked dad.
"Nothin'…everything."
"Sweetheart, you don't have to be nervous." said mom.
"Tell that to my stomach." I mumbled.
They laughed and mom hugged me. "It'll all work out."
We spent the night on the base. Surprisingly, I slept very good that night. I was nervous…very nervous.
When I was living at the base, dad had a couple of SGC uniforms made for me. I changed into the desert fatigues. They thought I was cute wearing military fatigues and me barely four feet tall. We'd had pictures made of us wearing our SGC uniforms…all of us…Mom, dad, me, Daniel, and Teal'c. Almost everybody on the base had a copy of it. Talk about embarrassing. Sheesh.
They didn't trust me with a zat, but I didn't want one anyway. I had my own protection…I just hoped it worked when it was supposed to.
Dad and mom came out of the locker room with P-90's and zats. Dad caught the raised eyebrow I gave him and grinned. I learned that from Teal'c.
"Never leave home without 'em. Besides," he said, throwing an arm around me and one around mom. "How else would I protect the women I love?"
I coughed and rolled my eyes while he gave mom a kiss. Breaking the kiss, he pointed to me. "Don't say it."
"Don't say what?"
"'Rent a room'."
"Dad?"
"Hmmm?"
"Rent a room." I said laughing. I took off running but, he caught me halfway down the corridor and threw me over his shoulder.
"Dad, if you keep doing that, all the blood's gonna go to my head." I complained.
"Too late…it already is." he said setting me on my feet with a laugh.
I hit him in the chest. "And you call me a smartass?"
"I'm allowed. I'm your father." I giggled and stuck my tongue out at him. "Hey. No giggling allowed."
I stuck my tongue out at him again. We laughed all the way to the gateroom. The laughter died as I stood at the door, not really wanting to go in.
They both put their hands on my shoulders. I was trembling. "It's ok baby." said dad.
"Easy sweetheart," said mom.
I gulped. "I'm scared mom. I…I don't know if I can do this."
"You don't have to if you don't want to."
"Really?"
"Really."
I took a deep breath and thought about it for a minute or two. I made up my mind. Taking a deep breath, I said "I'm ready."
He squeezed my shoulder. "That's my sunshine."
We entered the gateroom as the gate activated. I felt like I was going to throw up. Four people stepped through. The only one I recognized was my grandfather. Mom and dad reached down and took my hands in theirs, giving me a squeeze. I was still shaking a little.
Nervous? Who me?
"Sam," said Jacob, giving her a hug; "Jack," and shook his hand; "Jessie," and then proceeded to surprise the hell out of all of us by picking me up and giving me a hug.
I hugged him back and he put me down. "Hi…uh…" I said, not knowing what to call him.
(Grandpa) he thought to me.
I smiled and stepped back to my parents who'd caught the word in their minds too. "Hi, Grandpa."
One of the Tok'ra stepped forward with a strange look on his face. Then he smiled. "Samantha." he said reaching out with his hands.
She smiled and took my hand instead. "Martouf."
"Hi Marty." said dad. He put his hand on my back. "Sunshine, this is Martouf. Martouf this is sunshine…uh Jessie" he said, laughing when I jabbed him in the ribs. "Ow baby!"
"Hello." I said, glaring at dad who just grinned at me.
"Hello." he said, not even looking at me, but looking to mom for an explanation.
He got one. At the same time, mom and dad said, "My daughter." I giggled as they looked at each other and grinned.
"Uncle Danny and Teal'c not coming?" I asked.
"Nope. Daniel's with SG-3 and Teal'c's with SG-5 until we get back."
"Oh. Ok."
Grandpa looked at me and smiled. "You ready honey?"
(As ready as I'll ever be)
I took a deep breath and said "Yes, sir." He reached out and took my hand in his.
The four of us walked through the Stargate together. Coming out on the other end, we were surrounded by a bright sun. I orbed and pulled out my shades.
"Sam's POV "
"Bright light." said Jessie as she put on her sunglasses. She sounded just like Gizmo from Gremlins.
"Yeah, but not as bright as your smile," said Jack teasingly, wrapping his arms around her protectively.
"Dad?" she said, sliding out of his grasp.
"Yeah sunshine?" he said with a grin.
"Shut up."
Jessie, Dad, and I all laughed at the expression on his face. "That's priceless. It's the first time I've seen Jack O'Neill speechless...and to think it was done by a ten year old girl!" laughed dad.
"Bite me," muttered Jack.
I leaned close to him and whispered, "I will later…much, much later."
Jack blushed and his breathing took on an erratic rhythm. "Easy flyboy. You're going to blow right here and we can't have that, now can we."
"No, ma'am," he whispered.
"My POV "
The first couple of days on the Tok'ra world were uneventful. Everything was underground, but the coolness of that wore off pretty quickly. I just hung out with mom, dad, and grandpa. I actually had fun and let myself relax. My grandpa was pretty cool. I liked talking to Selmak too. She's funny…and smart too.
On the third day, I had a memory dream. I knew what I had to do.
On the fourth day, a member of the Tok'ra came for me. Some woman named Freya…her symbiote was Anise. She looked at dad the same way Martouf kept looking at mom. Apparently, they both had feelings for my parents. But, my appearance had given dad and mom the freedom to act on their own long-buried feelings.
Anyway, I awoke to the sound of several people arguing. From the sound of it, I was the subject…and it was my family against Martouf and Freya.
"It is time, Jacob." said Martouf firmly.
"She needs to learn to control her powers." said Freya, agreeing.
"She's just a kid." argued dad.
"Besides," said mom. "She already knows how to control her powers."
They argued back and forth for several minutes, each side unwilling to give in. Sighing deeply, I crawled out of bed and got dressed. It was too hot to wear much, so I settled for a t-shirt and khaki shorts…no shoes.
I smiled when I walked in because grandpa said, "She's my granddaughter and I don't think she's ready for this."
Dad saw me and, together, he and mom stood. "Morning Sunshine," he said pulling me into a group hug.
Yawning, I said "Morning." I looked around at every one. "What's going on?"
Freya opened her mouth to say something, but mom cut her off. "Baby you hungry?"
I started to say no, but the growling in my stomach gave me a way. "Yes ma'am."
"Samantha…" began Martouf.
"Don't 'Samantha' me. My daughter is hungry. Nothing is going to happen until she's had a decent breakfast and is completely awake." She turned away and walked into the improvised kitchen.
Dad sat down and pulled me on to his lap. I was still half asleep because he was rocking me gently. I didn't pay much attention to what was said. I laid my head on his shoulder and let the noise lull me to sleep again.
Dad gently shook me awake. "Wake up baby. Time to eat." He put a bowl of Fruit Loops in front of me. I dug in with everyone looking at me. Dad grinned. "Slow down baby. Nobody's gonna take it away from you."
I swallowed and slowed down. After I'd finished eating, the argument picked up again. It was becoming animated and very boring to me. I whispered "CD player" which orbed to me. I was being stared at by Anise and Martouf. I heard dad chuckle at the looks their faces.
"I told you she could control it" said mom, proudly.
I giggled and put on my headphones…mmmm…Linkin' Park. I finished eating and let Place for My Head drown out the noise. I was in the middle of the cd when I realized that the three Tok'ra had gone. I took off my headphones and looked at my parents.
"Where'd everybody go?"
"They're gone," said dad.
"Well…duh."
"Smart ass." he grinned.
"Eh…right back atcha."
Mom smiled at the playfulness between me and dad. "Baby, they want…"
"I know mom," I said softly.
"You don't have to do it if you don't want to baby," said dad.
"I know, but…"
"But, what?" asked mom.
I took a deep breath. "If I don't do this, they'll never leave me alone. Maybe if I show them what they want, they'll finally stop hounding me. Oh for cryin' out loud!" Dad grinned and tickled me a little as Martouf stuck his head back in.
"We are ready."
Mom and dad stood and held out their hands. Taking a deep breath, I took their hands, allowing them to pull me to my feet. Dad turned around and motioned for me to jump. He caught my legs and steadied me before moving. I waggled my finger at my cd player and it flew to my hands.
"That is still so cool." said mom.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
She playfully slapped the back of my head and said "Behave."
I stuck my tongue out at her. "You're no fun."
She laughed as we stepped into the dim corridor. "Wait dad."
"What?" he asked and immediately stopped.
"No shoes," I said stretching my legs out in front of him and wiggling my toes.
"Orb 'em."
"Flip flops," I muttered and they appeared. Mom took them and put them on my feet, tickling as she did.
"Mom! Quit it!" I said, jerking my legs, trying to get away, laughing the whole time.
"Sam, you're gonna make me drop her." said dad.
"Yes, dear." she said kissing him.
"Ewww."
"Hush you…or I'll let your mom tickle you again."
They kissed again. I heard a gasp behind us. I turned my head and saw Anise and Martouf staring at mom and dad with mouths wide open.
(You are soooo busted) I thought to both of them, grinning the whole time.
"Maybe they'll both take the hint now." whispered dad, backing up and grinning.
(Yeah and back the fu…)
"Jessie!" they both exclaimed to confused looks.
"What?" I grinned sheepishly.
"Behave," said both of them…but they were laughing.
Martouf stepped forward, his face unreadable. "Is the child ready?"
"Gee I don't know Marty. Why don't you ask her?" said dad sarcastically.
He took a deep breath trying to control his anger. "Jessica, are you ready?"
"Whatever," I squeaked.
"Then we will take her from here." said Anise reaching for me. Yep…definitely didn't like that one.
I tightened my grip around dad's shoulders and buried my head between his shoulder blades. "No."
"Not no, but hell no." said dad. "Where she goes, we go. You know that."
"We need to talk to her in private, Jack." said Anise.
"Oh no." said dad and mom both.
"Jack…Sam…I couldn't get them to agree to that part of it." said grandpa.
"Then this is where it ends." said dad firmly.
"Jack, I couldn't get them to agree to allow you and Sam there. But, they did say that I would be with her the entire time. Me and Selmak."
"No." said dad.
I put my head on his shoulder. Mom walked up and put her arms around us both from behind.
(It's ok. I'll go)
(NO) - dad.
(Dad, I'll be fine. Grandpa's gonna be with me…him and Selmak. I'll be ok)
(Baby, you don't have to do this) - mom
(Yes, I do)
(Are you sure?) - mom
(No, but I still have to do it mom) I got a grin for that.
(Baby, I don't know) - dad
(Dad, let me down)
(Just be careful baby) - both
(I will. I promise)
"Marty?"
"Yes Jack?"
"If anything happens to her, I will hold you personally responsible." he said, putting me down on my feet.
Martouf stared and I could sense his fear. Anise stared at mom as they both hugged me and kissed me. Barely concealed hostility was on her face as mom entwined her fingers with dad's.
Grandpa took me by the hand and led me away. I turned back to look at dad and mom. They were holding each other, watching me be carried away. I watched them until I couldn't see them. I was scared. Grandpa and Selmak both sensed it.
"C'mere honey." I held out my arms and he picked me up and carried me into the building where the testing would begin.
(I'm scared grandpa)
(I know baby girl. I'm here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you)
(Promise?)
"Cross my heart." he said aloud.
"What does that mean?" asked Anise.
"Private conversation." I said, rolling my eyes.
"We didn't hear anything."
"We were using telepathy and like she said it was a private conversation."
A look of disbelief crossed their faces. On Anise's face, there was also a look of disdain. I knew what I had to do. They wanted a demonstration. I was going to give them a demonstration they would never forget. It was time to play. Oh goody.
(Put me down please)
He did, but pulled me against him, putting his hands on my shoulders.
(Mom…dad?)
(I'm here baby. You ok?) - dad
(Yeah, but I need you and mom's permission to do something)
(What are you planning sunshine?) - dad
(Just a little test of my own. I'm tired of them pushing me around)
(That's my sunshine. Do what you have to do. Just be careful) - dad
(I will)
(Love you sunshine) - dad
(Love you angel) - mom
(Love you both)
(Jessie?) - dad
(Yeah dad?)
(Give
'em hell baby) I grinned widely at that.
"Jessie?" Grandpa's voice broke in on my thoughts.
"Sorry grandpa. I was talking to dad."
(Grandpa?)
(Yeah baby)
(I'm going to give them what they want…my way)
"Are you sure?"
"Ohhh yeahhh…" I said, grinning mischievously. He returned my smile.
I nodded. Oh yeah…it was time to play. I turned and faced them both. I rubbed my hands together.
Woohoo! Here goes nothing.
I orbed out and orbed back in behind them. "Whatcha lookin' for?" They both jumped when I spoke to them. When they turned around, I robed out again, this time coming back in on the other side of the room. "Lookin' for me?"
That's when I noticed the device in Anise's hand. She raised it as I raised my shield. The shield deflected the blast into the far wall. "NO!" yelled grandpa.
I froze both of them. "Grandpa, I'm ok"
I unfroze them and she aimed again. I knew it was another test. But, there was something in her eyes. She was jealous of mom and she didn't like me. I flung my hand out and the device flew to the other side of the room. They both started walking towards me. I'd held out my hand and let the energy ball form. I'd had enough. It was time to end this.
"Don't make me do this." They kept coming. I let the ball grow. "Please, don't make me do this" I said tearfully. I didn't want to hurt them.
"She's passed your tests Anise. That's enough" said Selmak.
"Just back off…please…back off." I begged them. Surprisingly, they did.
Martouf smiled. "Now, you just need to learn to focus your abilities."
"I thought I was focused." I said, tossing the energy ball into the air and letting it hover then fade.
"Can you aim at an object and destroy it?"
"Don't know…don't care." I said.
"Would you like to learn?"
"No." I said angrily, just wanted to get the hell out of there.
"Why?" he asked in surprise.
"I told you already. I don't wanna hurt anyone."
"But, what about the Goa'uld?"
"I don't know."
"We can teach you to focus your abilities."
I twitched as I felt Anise probe my mind. She was looking for something.
I looked at Grandpa. He nodded his head. "Unfortunately, most of the Tok'ra feel the same. That's why they asked for this damned test." He put his arms around me.
I let my shoulders slump. "I don't know. I don't want any of this."
She'd found what she was looking for. "You have no choice" said Anise. It was her talking, but I heard his voice.
I stiffened with remembrance. I was seven years old again, being raped that first time.
Grandpa sensed the change in me. "That's enough!" said Selmak. Grandpa stuck his head out the door and called for dad. "Jack!"
"Do you want to stand by and watch the Goa'uld enslave your world…torture and kill your parents?"
"Anise!" shouted grandpa.
I backed up as mom and dad came in. "Do you want to know about torture? Try being seven years old and being raped and beaten over and over again by the people who are supposed to protect you." I fell to my knees, crying silently and shaking uncontrollably.
"You bitch!" yelled mom, falling beside me and wrapping her arms around me as I trembled violently.
Dad ran towards Martouf. "Damn you!" he shouted, but Grandpa stepped between them.
Selmak spoke up. "Colonel." Dad kept moving and Grandpa put his hand up. "Jack, take Jessie and go back to your room."
He looked at Martouf (who had tears in his eyes due to my confession) and Anise (wide-eyed shock on her face). "I warned you. I warned you if anything happened to her, I would hold you personally responsible." He stepped up into Martouf's face. "And I will. This I promise."
Turning to Anise he said angrily "And you…making her dredge up those damned memories."
"I didn't know…" she stammered.
"It was none of your damned business!" he yelled. "She's ten years old for cryin' out loud! You have no right doing this shit to her!"
"Jack." said Grandpa. "Take her back to your room."
Remembering the dream, I stood and pushed away from mom. "No. I'll do what they say." The tears were still falling.
"Jessie…" said dad, holding his hand out to me. I took it and let him hold me for a minute, rubbing the back of my head. "You shouldn't have to deal with this shit."
"I know dad." I said burying my head in his stomach. Mom walked over and put her arms around me from behind. "I know, but I have to do this. Like she said. I don't have a choice."
"Yes, baby…you do."
I pulled back. "No dad, I really don't. If I don't do this, I could lose you and mom. I can't go through that again."
"You won't lose us. You can't get rid of us that easily." he said trying to make me smile.
I turned to mom. "Mom, make him understand why I have to do this."
"I can't baby. I don't understand why you think you have to do this." she said tightening her grip.
I jerked away from them both. "Damnit I had a fucking memory dream last night!" They both stiffened.
"What?" gasped dad, fear in his eyes. I hadn't had one in weeks.
"What's a memory dream?" asked Grandpa.
"A premonition dad," said mom, fear in her voice.
"Wow."
I looked at them with fear in my eyes. I let them see it. "If I don't do this, then I'll lose you. If I don't do this, they'll make me one of them and then make me hurt you." I looked up at dad. "Dad, please…believe me." I started trembling.
He shivered and pulled me close. Actually, I don't know who was trembling…me or them. Probably all three of us. Minutes passed and none of us moved.
"You're sure about this?" whispered dad.
"Yes. If I don't do this, you and mom and everyone else I love, will die."
"You don't know that baby." said mom, desperation in her voice.
"Mom," I said pushing away from them again. "I do know." I turned away and walked to the door.
"Sunshine…" dad began.
"Do you remember the first memory dream I told you about?"
"Yes."
"That is what I have to stop. I know that now. If I don't do this that will happen. He'll hurt me and then go after you and mom." I turned to them, tears in my eyes. "I can't let it happen." I fell to my knees as I started shaking again. They wrapped their arms around me and held me as I cried "I can't let it happen."
"We won't let that happen baby," said dad tearfully.
"No…" said mom. "We won't."
"We're in this together…you, me and your mom. We're a family and whatever happens, we're in this together," said dad, tears in his eyes.
"You forgot somebody," said grandpa.
"Who?" asked dad, not letting go.
"Me…and Selmak. We're with you. We're all in this together. After all, we are a family now."
Martouf stepped forward. "We, too, will help."
"No," said dad looking up with anger in his eyes. "You two will stay the hell away from her!"
"Jack…" began Anise.
"No. You two have done enough damage."
"As much as I hate to admit it Jack…they're right. They were chosen for a reason" said Grandpa.
"I don't care if the President chose them. They're not coming anywhere near my daughter," he said, picking me up. I laid my head on his should and continued to sob uncontrollably. He held me as everyone stayed silent until my tears stopped.
"Jack they were chosen by the Tok'ra high council."
"So what? For cryin' out loud, Jacob. She's your granddaughter!" dad snapped.
"You don't think I know that? I'd kill anyone before they hurt her!" grandpa shouted back.
"As would I!" said Selmak vehemently, briefly taking over.
(Dad, put me down)
(Nope)
(Dad, please put me down)
(Nuh uh…not gonna happen)
(Dad…put me down or I'll whammy you) I threatened.
He chuckled weakly and put me on my feet. Mom put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me to them. Dad had his arms around my neck and mom had my right hand in hers. I looked up at the two people who gave me life…not once, but three times…and I knew what I had to do.
I turned and hugged them both fiercely and they hugged me back equally fierce. When I let go, I turned around and leaned backwards against them. "I'll do it on a few conditions."
"What?"
"First I want you to leave me alone after this. Never talk to me again…don't think about me. The only Tok'ra I will ever talk to again will be my grandpa and my Selmak." Grandpa smiled a huge smile. I could sense that Selmak was pleased with my words.
"I don't…" began Martouf.
I interrupted him. "Second, I don't want either of you to say anything about what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. The minute you criti…criti…" I looked at mom.
"Criticize," she said.
"That's it. Thanks mom. The minute you criticize me or make any suggestions, I'm gone. I'll find some other way to learn."
"Third, I want you to leave us alone…me and my parents." I grinned mischievously at them. "Oh…one more thing. Anise…Freya…whatever the hell your name is?"
"Yes?"
"If you point that thingy at me again the way you did before, I'll orb it where the sun don't shine."
That earned me a giggle from mom and chuckles from dad and grandpa…and confused looks from the other two.
"I'll explain in detail later," said Grandpa grinning.
"Those are my…" I turned to mom again, "whaddya call 'em?"
"Terms baby."
"Yeah, what she said. At this point, you need me a lot more than I need you."
"Agreed."
"Good."
"If it comes down to it, Teal'c and Bratac can teach her," said Grandpa.
"Not everything, Jacob," argued Martouf.
"No, but the basics, yes. What Teal'c can't teach her, I can."
"If that's the case, I'd prefer to have you teach her dad," said mom.
"I would if I could, but I'm getting ready to leave Sam."
"When? Where?"
"I've got a rendezvous with a Tok'ra spy in two days. I leave tomorrow night."
"Do you really have to go Grandpa?" I asked sadly. I was getting used to having him and Selmak around.
"Yes honey. I wish I didn't, but I do," he said giving me a hug. "But, I'll see you in a few days I promise."
"We're ready whenever you are Jessie," said Martouf.
"I don't think so. She's not doing anything else today," said dad.
"But…"
"No buts…we're going back to our room and try to forget what she made her remember," said mom angrily, pointing her finger at Anise.
Mom picked me up. "Come on baby," She carried me back to our room and we sat there for the rest of the day. We played games, talked, I cried about what I was. They held me and told me I was theirs and no one was going to take that away.
For the next few weeks, I practiced in an arena that was well hidden high up in the mountains. The lower level of the arena was about twenty feet above the ground…the view was great. From the lower level you could see the entire arena. I strained myself beyond my limits. I collapsed at the end of each day, physically and mentally exhausted. I could tell they were getting angry with the Tok'ra for pushing me. But, it wasn't them pushing me. It was me. I had to do this for them…for mom and dad…and for me.
By the end of the three weeks, I could aim at anything and hit the target dead on. I hated to admit it, but Grandpa was right. The Tok'ra could teach me to focus…to channel my thoughts and my "gifts". Whatever. I hated them…my so-called gifts.
On the last day we were there, mom and dad wanted to watch. They hadn't been allowed to watch. I wanted it to be a surprise anyway.
"Hey Sunshine!" he said picking me up and giving me a kiss. Mom smoothed my hair back and kissed me on the cheek.
"Hey guys. I think they're ready for me to show you what I can do."
"They may be, but are you ready?"
"Yeah, I guess."
He put me down and I took their hands and led them to a seat in the arena. "You guys are gonna love this. I can do things I never could before." I was excited. For the first time, I was actually excited.
"Quit jumping around, Jessie. You're making me dizzy just watching you." said mom.
I giggled and let them pull me onto their laps. A member of the Tok'ra walked up to us. I noticed Martouf and Anise across the arena watching me. I was going to give them a shock. I'd asked for them to be a part of the "demonstration". This was definitely going to be fun.
"Colonel O'Neill…Major Carter…Jessie. If you are ready, the arena is prepared."
I took a deep breath and hugged them both. "Be right back."
"Hey Sunshine?"
"Yeah dad?"
"Go get 'em sweetheart."
I grinned and walked away.
(You guys are gonna be surprised)
I climbed up on top of the barrier separating the seating area from the arena.
"Jessie! What the hell are you doing? That's a thirty foot drop!" yelled dad reaching for me.
I held my hand up. "It's ok dad. It's something new I learned. It's cool" He slowly, apprehensively sat back down and took mom's hand in his.
I took a deep breath and stepped off the balcony…I hovered there. I turned to mom and dad. "See, I told you." I floated down, landing gently in the sand. I looked above me and saw them leaning over the balcony smiling with awe.
I waved at them and then orbed into the middle of the arena. Several Tok'ra stepped out of the shadows with zats and Jaffa staff weapons raised. "NO!" yelled dad, starting to move.
I orbed back to them. "Dad, it's ok. It's part of the demonstration."
He pulled me to him. "I don't want anyone pointing weapons at you. You're my baby. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." He was trembling and I could tell he was crying.
"Dad" I said backing up a little. "Look at me. I'm going to be fine. I've been through this everyday for three weeks. I can stop the blasts."
"What if you miss?" he sobbed. He was slowly coming undone and it scared me.
"I won't…trust me. I'm better than I was before." I took his head in my hands. "Dad, I'm not going to die on you again. I promise." He pulled me into a strong hug and held me for several long minutes.
"Ummm…dad?"
"Yeah baby?" he asked sniffling.
"I can't breathe." I laughed. He kissed me and let me go.
"You promise me and your mom that you'll be ok."
"I promise dad…mom…mom and dad." I grinned and they both smiled hesitantly. "I promise" I said softly, giving them both hugs and kisses.
Mom took dad's hand and they sat back down. I orbed to the middle of the arena. "I'm ready."
The attacks came from all sides. My force shield worked perfectly, deflecting every blast. They brought out the drones and they fired also…effectively blocked. I let the energy balls blast a couple of them to pieces. The others, I exploded instead of freezing them. I could now shield and blast or shield and freeze at the same time. That was cool.
About an hour later, machine parts and unconscious Tok'ra littered the arena. I was the winner. I could tell mom and dad were proud by the way they were running down the stairs to the arena.
I started away from the arena when I felt something stirring in my mind. I turned and saw Anise and Martouf walking towards me with some kind of strange weapon I'd never seen. Time for a little revenge. I raised my shield and forced the weapons out of their hands.
I threw them about fifteen feet. They landed with thuds, but got up again. I didn't want to hurt them, but I had no choice. I used the energy ball to knock them both out. That was something else I'd learned to do. I didn't have to kill with the energy ball. I could knock someone out.
I ran to my parents and dad picked me up and put my on his shoulders. "My little hero! That was so cool!"
I laughed. "Yeah, it was."
"But, I have one problem with what just happened."
"What?"
"What in the hell were those two doing here? I told them I didn't want them anywhere near you."
"I asked them to be part of the demonstration thingy, dad."
He looked up at me. "Why?"
"Payback…plain and simple payback."
"That's my girl."
