"Sam's POV"

It was Jessie's first Christmas with us. It was going to be perfect. Mark and his family were coming. Dad was going to be there. Jack had bought Jessie an electric guitar to go along with the acoustic one he gave her. She hadn't had any nightmares or memory dreams in a month. I knew she'd heard a song in her head that reminded her of that night. But, things were finally getting back to normal. Well…as normal as they could get.

On Christmas Eve, we tucked her into bed. "Mom?" she asked yawning widely.

"Yeah baby?"

"What'd you get me?" she asked with a sleepy grin.

"You'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out."

"But…"

"No 'buts'."

"Well, will you at least tell me what you got dad?"

"Nope. It's going to be a surprise."

"Awww mom!"

"Go to sleep Jessie," I said firmly as Jack walked in.

"'Awww mom' what?" he asked.

"Mom won't tell me what she bought you for Christmas," she complained. I had to laugh at the look of consternation on her face.

"Well, I'm not telling what I got her either," said Jack sticking his tongue out at me.

"Oh alright," she said dejectedly.

"Get some sleep sunshine. Tomorrow's a big day," said Jack, kissing her on the forehead. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Night angel."

"Night mom."

"Night Sunshine."

"Night dad."

She shivered a little as I covered her up and Jack made sure the heat was turned up enough for her. Even after almost a year, she was still very skinny…very small…and it was starting to snow again.

After we made sure she was asleep, Jack took my hand and led me to our bedroom. We showered, made love in the shower, and showered again. Crawling into bed, he wrapped his arms around me. I could tell he wanted something. Hmmm…I will never get enough of him. Ever since we began…ummm…being with each other, I couldn't get enough. Just being close to him was enough to send me to heaven with a smile.

"What? Again?" I asked giggling.

"No giggling and yes…again."

I laughed outright and he silenced me with a small kiss. Things quickly heated and we made love most of the night. What made it exciting was the fact that most of my family was in other places around the house…my brother and his family, my father…you name it they were there. But, to me it was perfect.

-------------------------------------------------------

"My POV"

I woke up before anyone else. I just wanted to be alone for a while before the others were awake. I needed time to think. I changed into my sweats and sneakers and walked out my door. I opened mom and dad's door to make sure they were still asleep. Yep…they were. Good.

I walked downstairs, trying to be as quiet as I could. I went outside to watch the sunrise. It had started snowing again. I thought the fireworks on the 4th of July were beautiful, but compared to this, they were plain.

Even though it was still mostly dark, I could see the sun peeking behind the trees. The yellow, orange, red, and gray were blending into an all new color.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, mesmerized by the sight. In the back of my mind, I heard the door open and footsteps behind me. But, I was too caught up in the sky to pay attention.

"Hey Sunshine. Whatcha doin?" asked dad, sitting beside me.

"Looking."

"Looking at what?" asked mom, sitting on the other side of me on the steps.

"The sunrise." I whispered. It was too beautiful to ruin with loud voices.

I shivered as dad wrapped a blanket around me. Oops. I'd forgotten my jacket. I snuggled under his arm and the three of us sat there for a few minutes watching the sun rise over the trees.

"Wow," said mom.

"Yeah," said dad.

I didn't say a word. I could remember a time when I didn't even expect to see another sunrise. I sat there and let the tears fall silently.

"Hey Sunshine. What's wrong?" asked dad, hearing me sniffle.

"Nothin'," I said. "It's perfect."

I looked up at him and smiled. He kissed me on the forehead. "Merry Christmas sunshine."

Mom pulled me to her. "Merry Christmas baby."

"Merry Christmas."

Dad stood and shook off some snow. "I don't know about you ladies, but I'm freezing my…"

"Jack!"

"What?" he grinned innocently.

She smacked him lightly on the leg. "Behave yourself."

He laughed pulling us both up. "So, can we go inside now?"

"Yeah dad."

---------------------------------------------------

"Sam's POV"

We walked into the house. I knew that Mark and his family didn't know much about Jessie. Dad said it would probably be best if he didn't. Little did I know that would be a problem.

The others awoke and swiftly came downstairs to open presents. Jessie watched silently as the other kids tear into their presents. She didn't move…just sat there on the couch. I began to think that maybe she was thinking she wasn't getting anything. Jack was saving the guitar for last…he wanted her to open it in front of everyone. I think it was because he wanted to be able to brag that his daughter could play the guitar like the pros.

"Jessie?"

"Hmmm?" she asked wrapping her arms around her legs.

"C'mere baby." I motioned for her to sit on the floor with me. I pulled her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her and handed her a small box. "This is from Grandpa," I said.

She opened it quickly and pulled out a crystal object. Dad brought her a Tok'ra communication crystal. He told her aloud it was just a crystal to hang in her room. I could tell he told her, in her mind, what it really did. She sat there with that goofy grin on her face that we love so much.

"Thanks Grandpa," she said, getting up and hugging him.

"You're welcome sweetheart," said Dad.

She sat back down beside me. "Baby, this is from Mark."

She opened the present hesitantly and held up two books...The Outsiders and That Was Then...This Is Now, both by S.E. Hinton. She froze. Looking at her face, I don't think he realized what she thought it meant. I think she thought it meant that, even though she was part of the family, she would be an outsider. I know it kind of hurt her, but she didn't show it on the outside. She thanked him and gave him a quick hug. She came back and sat down on my lap.

God, she's still so skinny and light.

"This is from Uncle Daniel and Uncle T," said Jack, setting the box in front of us. He crawled on the couch behind us and massaged my shoulders.

She opened the box and pulled out a pair of rollerblades, two books…The Hobbit and The Simarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien, several drawing notebooks, and an art set. Daniel was single-handedly turning my daughter into a geek. At least that part was mine. Jack had taught her to skate after her birthday. She loved it. From morning to night, she was rolling around the SGC in those things. General Hammond thought it was cute.

"Wow…" she said. "Sweet!" Jack and Dad laughed at that. She was picking up Jack's phrases with ease.

"This is from Grandpa George," said Jack, handing her a medium-sized package. It was soft.

She opened the package. Yep…it was another teddy bear…a Christmas bear. He was keeping her supplied in teddy bears. She had about ten by this time. But, her favorite was still the Air Force bear that Jack and I bought her when we first found her. She still slept with it.

"I'm going to be bear-d out of my house," said Jack laughing.

"Yep," she said smiling.

"This is from Janet and Cassie." I said handing her the box.

She opened it quickly. "Cool!" she said, pulling out several CDs.

"Whatcha got there sunshine?" asked Jack.

"New Found Glory, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Linkin' Park, The Ataris, Kidd Rock, Metallica, Blink-182, and Korn." She was grinning from ear to ear.

The grin fell away as Mark said, "You can't tell me that you let this eleven year old kid listen to that crap, Sam."

"She listens to what she likes Mark…and don't tell me how to raise mydaughter," I said, putting the emphasis on my daughter.

Jack wrapped his arms around both of us. "Easy sweetheart."

Even Dad was getting pissed off at Mark for the way he was acting towards Jessie.

I made her open her gifts from me and Jack next. "This is from your dad and me angel."

She tore into the first package and opened the box. "Wow…thanks mom!" Mark gave her a funny look. "Thanks dad!" She held up the ice skates for everyone to see. Top of the line. Nothing was too good for our baby girl.

"You're welcome baby," I said.

"Welcome baby." said Jack grinning bigger than I'd ever seen.

"Now, this one is specifically from me," I said handing her a small box.

She took it from me and looked up at me. I don't know…she looked kind of fragile. I kissed her forehead. "Open it baby."

She opened the box and gasped. She held up the locket for everyone to see. Mark rolled his eyes. I'm gonna have to strangle him if he hurts my baby with any remarks.

"Open it," said Jack. He's the one who helped me pick it out.

She did. Inside there was a picture of the three of us that was taken at the zoo. Our first actual family picture. She stared at it.

"Read the inscription." I said.

"To Jessie…all our love…Mom and Dad." she read aloud, tears evident in her voice. I helped her put it on and pulled her closer and kissed her again. "Merry Christmas baby." I whispered.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what baby?"

"Me," she said softly.

That one word filled my heart with such joy that I had to choke back a sob. Jack put his arms around both of us again.

Dad interrupted. "This is beginning to be a mush-fest."

"Shut up dad." I said grinning through my tears.

"This is from me sunshine," said Jack reaching around me to drop a small box in her lap.

She opened it quickly. "It's beautiful dad." she said holding up the ID bracelet with the inscription "Jessie O'Neill". "I love it."

"Here..." said Jack helping her put it on. "Now, everyone will know who you are and who you belong too."

"Yep."

We had already given her the jeans and sweaters we bought for her. She was wearing one of the long-sleeved t-shirts that Jack picked out. Of course, it had New Found Glory on it. She loved it…even if it was too big for her. Everything seemed too big for her.

So, now it was time for the biggest gift of all…the guitar. Jack moved off the couch. "Be right back," he said winking at me.

A few minutes later he returned with a long thin box. On the front of the wrapping it said "To Jessie From SG-1". We'd all pitched in for it. He laid it on the floor in front of us.

"This is from all of us sunshine…me, your mom, grandpa, Uncle Danny, Uncle T, Janet, Cassie, and Grandpa George."

She looked at him funnily and began to unwrap it. She saw the case but just sat there. I guess she thought the case was to put Jack's guitar in.

"Open the case baby," I said feeling her tremble with excitement.

Jack helped her open it and she gasped when she saw the electric guitar in it. Jack had picked out a version of a blue 1969 Replica Stratocaster. It was beautiful.

"Oh wow!" she breathed.

"You'll need this." said Jack reaching behind the couch and pulling out yet another box. He helped her open it…an amplifier. He handed her a couple of guitar picks and she took them with shaking hands. She was so happy with it.

"Thanks mom…dad…grandpa." she said giving each of us a kiss.

"Now, you've got two…an acoustic and an electric," said Jack. "You're my little rock star." he said nuzzling her.

"Yeah right," she giggled.

She plugged in the guitar and tuned it. Perfect pitch is what Jack called it. She played a few bars of something and then stopped. I guess she realized that everyone was staring at her. She reached over and turned the amp off. Mark was still giving her strange looks.

Mark's kids went outside to play in the snow. She still wasn't comfortable around kids other than Cassie and Rya'c. She played with General Hammond's grandkids, but Cassie and Rya'c were definitely her best friends. I think she kind of felt out of place with Mark's kids. So she stayed inside and strummed the guitar, not turning on the amplifier.

We finished the Christmas dinner and sat down to eat. Jessie sat between me and Jack. We ate our fill, although I noticed Jessie didn't eat half as much as Mark's kids. He made her uncomfortable. I was going to have to have a talk with my brother about the way he was treating my daughter.

She and Jack helped me clear the table. The others went outside or in the living room to crash on the couch. Jack and I could tell she was distracted.

"Jessie?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you ok?"

"Sure mom."

"Are you sure?" asked Jack.

"Well…"

I put down the plate I was clearing off and sat down on a chair. "C'mere."

I pulled her on my lap and Jack leaned against the counter. "What's up Sunshine?"

"I don't think your brother and his family like me very much."

"Why would you think that?" asked Jack.

"He hasn't said two words to me since they got here and the kids look at me like I've done something wrong…like I've taken something from them." She looked up at me. "You mom."

"Don't worry about them baby. You and your dad are all I need."

"But, they were here first. I know why he gave me that book. He knows even though I'm here, I'll always be an outsider."

"Bullshit!" said Jack.

"You're my baby girl and nothing and no one is going to change that," I said resting my chin on her shoulder.

"But, they were here first," she insisted. "I just came in…"

Jack pushed away from the counter and knelt in front of us. I know it was killing his knees, but he…we…had to make her understand. He took her head in his hands and pressed his forehead to hers.

"Baby, it doesn't matter who was here first. What matters is who is here now and who is going to be here when all the others are gone…you, your mom, and me. That's all that counts," said Jack and I agreed.

"But…" she began.

"Angel?" I said, in a voice that would allow no argument.

"Hmm?"

"That's all that counts."

"Yes ma'am," she said hesitantly.

"Ok kids. Let's finish the dishes. I want to hear you play the new guitar," said Jack groaning as he stood. Yep…someone was going to be expecting a massage later on tonight.

We finished the dishes together and went into the living room. Jessie picked up the guitar and started strumming, trying to think of a song to play.

Looking back, I should have seen it coming.

"Are you going to play that thing or just pick at it, because that is getting on my nerves," said Mark.

"Mark!" shouted dad…and me. Jack looked so angry I thought he was going to spit fire.

Damn him.

She looked to me and Jack with such sadness in her eyes, I couldn't breathe for a moment.

I'm gonna kill him. It's her first Christmas home and he treats her like this? I'm gonna kill him.

"Mom?"

"Go ahead baby," I said smiling at her…silently encouraging her.

She picked up the pick and started strumming a new song…one she'd been humming for the last three days. Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth and began to sing:

"It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done?
I miss the life
I miss the colors of the world
Can anyone tell where I am?
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again
I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here?
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I know
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't tell what I've done
And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again"

I had tears in my eyes as the haunting melody faded out. So did Jack and my dad.

"Sam, I said it before, how can you let her listen to that stuff? She's eleven years old. What would she know about loneliness?" said Mark.

Her face fell and she turned her back on us.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Baby, where did you hear that song?" asked Jack as Jessie unstrapped the guitar and put it back in its' case.

Her shoulders were shaking slightly. She took a deep breath and whispered "I heard it in my…I heard it a couple of days ago," she said before turning around.

The look of utter desolation and pain on her face broke my heart and caused all of us – even Mark – to gasp out loud.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I fucked up again."

We both reached for her as she ran upstairs. She easily avoided us.

"Damn you!" Jack shouted at Mark before pushing him out of the way and taking off after Jessie.

"Damnit Mark! Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut? Do you know what she's been through? Do you?" I screamed.

He backed up with his hands in the air. Good, because I wasn't sure I could keep from strangling him. Dad stepped between us.

"Sam, go after her. I'll talk to your brother," he said grabbing Mark by the arm. "Come with me." he said angrily, brooking no argument from Mark.

----------------------------------------

"Jacob's POV"

I cannot believe Mark would act like this towards an eleven year old child! Like she doesn't belong here…and then to say what he said? Holy Hannah!

"Sam, go after her. I'll talk to your brother." I grabbed Mark by the arm. "Come with me," I said pulling him into the kitchen.

"Dad, what's this about? Why is everyone coddling that kid?"

"Shut up and sit down!" I ordered. I was so angry at my only son. I knew that Jack kept the photos locked in his safe. With Jessie there to act as a buffer, the four of us could talk telepathically. It was stronger with blood relations according to Selmac.

(Jack what's the code to the safe? Mark won't believe anything I say unless it's backed up with proof)

(Her birthday…11-20-1991)

(Thanks)

I opened the safe and almost threw the file at him.

"What's this?" he asked.

"You wanted to know what an eleven year old child would know about loneliness. Read this."

I watched his face as he read. I know that it was only a fraction of the actual content of her medical file at the SGC. But, it came in handy if something went wrong and she got hurt and couldn't get to the SGC infirmary.

He blanched when he got to the parts about the rapes. I rummaged through the safe and found the pictures. "This is what she looked like when they found her," I said throwing the pictures at him.

He was green by the time he finished reading and looking. "I…I didn't know," he stammered.

I was so angry I could barely speak. "You weren't supposed to. No one was. It was something that was supposed to be private between us…Jack, Sam, and Jessie…and me. You should've just accepted the fact that Sam has a daughter. She was healing, Mark. She didn't have anymore nightmares. She was finally beginning to live again. And then you…" I couldn't go on.

"I'd better go apologize," he said, standing up.

"Damn right you should."

He nodded and left the room.

I stood at the bottom of the stairs for a few minutes, listening to the sobs coming from the bedroom upstairs. How could this happen? I thought by bringing Mark and family here, Jessie would have a perfect Christmas. Instead, I've single-handedly ruined it.

---------------------------------------------------

"My POV"

It was supposed to be the perfect Christmas. But, no…I had to go and play the song and then listen to Mark say what he said.

Oh shit! Why did I have to do that?

Turning my back on everyone, so they wouldn't see the tears falling, I put the guitar back in the case. I took a deep breath and whispered "I heard it in my...I heard it a couple of days ago," I said before turning around.

Mom and dad both gasped at the look on my face. Then Grandpa and Mark both gasped.

"I'm sorry…I fucked up again," I whispered before running past mom and dad. I felt dad's hand brush my arm as he reached to stop me. I slid past him and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. I slammed the door shut and fell on the bed crying.

Why today? Why did this have to happen today?

I heard mom and dad yelling at Mark…then footsteps running up the stairs.

"Angel I'm so sorry," said mom.

"I'm sorry too," said dad.

Mom was crying. I looked up at her. "I wanted everything to be perfect for your first Christmas home baby. Instead everything was ruined."

"If I hadn't sung that stupid song then everything would've been perfect," I insisted.

"No," said dad pulling me up to him. "We've been trying to get you to sing that song since you started humming it. You know that. I thought it was beautiful…it was a beautiful song baby."

"But…" I began.

"No 'buts' baby. If Mark can't handle the fact that we're a family then he's not welcome here," said mom.

"But, mom, he's your brother."

"And you're my daughter. You come first…you and your dad. That's all I need."

"And you and your mom are all I need…except maybe for The Simpsons and Fruit Loops," he grinned slyly.

I ended up giggling through my tears. I hugged him. "That's my Sunshine," he said.

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Dad, you're so goofy."

"Yeah, but ya love me anyway." He flipped me on my back and they began tickling me mercilessly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said as he tickled me. "Dad, quit it!"

They finally let up as Grandpa walked into the room. "Jessie? Honey, are you ok?"

"I'm fine now Grandpa," I said smiling slightly. The smile faded as Mark walked in behind Grandpa.

I huddled behind mom and dad. "No, no, no, no," I whispered. I didn't want him anywhere near me.

"Get out Mark!" said mom. "You've done enough damage!" she said pulling me onto her lap.

Dad started to get off the bed and move toward Mark. "No dad. Please," I begged, grabbing his arm. He quit moving and slid closer to us.

Mark stepped further into the room and I tensed in mom's arms. She held me tighter. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry," he said not even looking at me.

"You've said it, now get out," said dad.

He continued to ramble. "I didn't know what happened to her. I didn't know any of it until dad showed me," he said trying to make dad see his point of view.

"It was none of your damned business!" said dad loudly. "She's been though hell and when we thought she'd finally put it behind her, you show up and blow it all up!"

"I didn't mean to! If you would've explained the circumstances then I wouldn't have said what I did!" Mark said getting angry.

"Like Jack said Mark. It was none of your business. You've just set us back almost a year."

"Will you accept my apology Sam?"

"It's not me you have to apologize to," said mom. She was still very...very angry.

"Jessie? Will you accept my apology?" He finally looked at me.

"I guess," I have a very forgiving nature…sometimes. This is the only reason I said what I did next. "But, forgiven doesn't mean forgotten." I laid my head on mom's shoulder.

"I know."

(Do you want him to stay?) - mom

(He's your brother. Do you want him to stay?)

(I want him outta here) - mom

(Dad?)

(I want him gone too sunshine)

(Me too)

"Mark, she may have forgiven you, but words leave scars. I think it's best that you leave." She turned to Grandpa. "Dad, can you take them to the airport?"

"Yeah." he said as Mark left the room angrily to collect kids, wife and things. "Do you want me to come back?"

"Not tonight. Come by tomorrow and we'll talk." said dad. "I think it should just be the three of us tonight."

"Ok," said Grandpa holding his arms out to me. "Do I at least get a goodbye hug?"

"No," I said to shocked looks. "Not goodbye. See ya later."

He grinned as I got off the bed and gave him a big hug. "Merry Christmas Jessie."

"Merry Christmas Grandpa."

He exited the room, leaving the three of us standing there. We sat in silence for a few minutes listening to people packing up and leaving the house.

Dad pulled me back on the bed. "Well? Whaddya wanna do?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno."

Mom kissed me on the head. "How about you play some more songs for us."

"Really?" I asked, excited.

"Ya sure ya betcha."

We ran downstairs and I picked up the guitar again. Apparently Mark's wife had cleaned up a bit before they left. I turned to mom and dad as they sat on the sofa.

"Whatcha wanna hear?"

"What was that song that you used to test the sound?" asked dad.

"Pushing Me Away by Linkin' Park."

"Play that for us."

"Ok."

--------------------------------------------

"Jack's POV"

She started to play when there was a knock at the door. "For cryin' out loud." said Jessie.

I grinned as I got up and opened the door. "Merry Christmas!" yelled Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, and Cassie.

"Guys…what are you doing here?" I asked, as they pushed their way in.

"Sam's dad called about half an hour ago. He said something had happened and that you guys, especially Jessie, needed cheering up." said Daniel.

"Damnit I told him I wanted it to be the three of us for the rest of the night. Does anybody listen to me?"

"Damn guys. What're you doin' here?" asked Sam.

"We came to give you three the best Christmas ever," said Cassie launching herself towards the second sofa.

I guess that's when they noticed Jessie standing there with the guitar. "Well? How did you like it?" asked Janet.

"She was just about to play something when you guys walked in," I said, still a little peeved.

"Go ahead Jessie." said Cassie. "Play something for us."

Before, when it was just us, she was fine. Now, she was nervous. She was fiddling with her fingernails…something she got from Sam. She looked up at me.

"Why don't you play that song you sang earlier baby?" Sam said softly.

They all said "Let's hear it."

I sat down next to Sam and Jessie climbed into the chair. Looking to us for strength…and approval, I think…she began to play.

When she opened her mouth to sing the first words, time seemed to stop. Everyone held their breath. Again I couldn't think about anything except the words of the song that came from my eleven year old daughter…haunting, frightening…beautiful.

The tension was thick as the final notes of the song faded away. The silence was deafening until Teal'c spoke up. "That was indeed beautiful Jessie."

"Really?" she asked tentatively.

"Oh yeah," said Janet and Daniel. You could see the tension leave Jessie…it was visible the way she relaxed.

"What else do you know? What else can you play?" asked Daniel.

"Finish playing that song you started before you were so rudely interrupted," said Sam.

"Ok."

The first notes of Pushing Me Away began again and Jessie closed her eyes, concentrating on hitting every note perfectly. I still don't know where she learned how to play. I can play a little, but not like this….not like her. But, from what Daniel said, she was almost as good as the late Randy Rhoads. Watching her play that song, I could believe it.

Both Sam and I could see that, when she played, she relaxed…fully relaxed. At least we didn't have to worry about her going into the Air Force. Hell, with that voice and talent, she could be a rock star.

I think Sam had the same thought. I caught her eye and she smiled…the tears were there, but they were, as Jessie put it, happy tears. I reached over and took her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze.

By this time, Jessie had finished playing that song. "Keep playing sweetheart," I barely whispered.

"Well…" she began.

"'Well' what baby?" asked Sam.

She put down the guitar. "Be right back," she said orbing out.

A few seconds later, she orbed back in with my old acoustic guitar. "There is another song that's been running through my head for a few days, but…" she trailed off looking at us.

"Play it baby."

She sat down again and took the guitar into her arms. She seemed to be struggling with something for a moment. Then she nodded…I guess she'd made her decision. "I think it's called Epiphany. I don't know who sings it, but it's been driving me nuts for three or four days!" We all laughed at that.

"Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear.
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said.
So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away.
'Cause I can't take anymore of this
I wanna come apart,
Or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart.
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said.
I am nothing more than
a little girl inside
That cries out for attention,
Yet I always try to hide.
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said"

After the final notes of that song ended, she looked up smiling. "Maybe now that I've sung it out loud, it will quit bothering me" she laughed, causing all of us to laugh too. "I changed it up a little though from what I've been hearing in my head. I'm a girl…not a boy." Daniel roared with laughter. It wasn't that funny.

She must have played for a good hour and a half before deciding to quit. She played everything from Linkin' Park to Metallica to Green Day. That kid has some strange tastes in music. But, she's mine and I love her no matter what.

Jessie joined me and Sam on the sofa and cuddled up against Sam. We sat there and watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer…neither Jessie nor Cassie, had ever seen it. Jessie thoroughly enjoyed it. I was beginning to worry about her because she'd seemed a little distant since Mark and his family left, but she relaxed and watched the movie.

Halfway through the movie, she laid her head in Sam's lap and her feet in mine. After almost a year, she was still so damned small. Janet said that her growth had been stunted by the years of abuse. Again, I would kill the bastard over and over again if I could.

When the movie ended, I looked down and she was asleep.

Just like an angel.

"Ummm…guys?"

"What?" asked Daniel a little too loudly. She groaned and turned over on her side.

"Shhh…" I said pointing to Jessie. "I think it's time we called it a night."

"Yeah…sorry Jack," said Daniel.

They all came over and gave Jessie a kiss and said goodnight. Anyway, I carried her upstairs and let Sam get her into her new hockey jersey/nightgown…Colorado Avalanche of course.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"My POV"

I tried to stay awake, but mom put me to sleep stroking my head again. Sheesh. I woke up when she put my new nightgown on me. "Mom?" I said as they were tucking me in.

"Yeah baby?"

"You never told me what you got dad."

"A bracelet to match yours…and mine," she said with a smile.

"Cool," I yawned.

Dad stuck his tongue out at me as I yawned again, falling into that dream-wake state. "Dad?"

"Hmmm?"

"What'd you get mom?"

"Well…" he began.

"Come on dad. You know curiosity will keep me awake…and therefore, I'll keep you awake."

He pushed his fingers through his hair. "I haven't given it to her yet, but I guess now is as good a time as any," he said dropping to one knee.

"Dad!"

"Jack!"

"Sam I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. I can't live without you. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. He opened it and held it up to her.

Mom gasped. "Jack!" she said, tears streaming down her face. "I…I…I don't know what to say." she stuttered.

He grinned. "You could say 'yes' you know."

"Yes!" she hissed.

He slid the ring on her third finger and stood, pulling her into his arms. I yawned even though I was excited. We were going to be a family…a real family!

I decided to give them some privacy, so while they were locked in their embrace, I orbed them back to their room.

I dozed off with a grin on my face. A few minutes later, I heard a soft knock and the door opened and they came back in.

"Jessie," said dad softly.

"Wha…" I said sitting up slowly. "Didn't I just orb you out?" I asked trying, and failing, to stifle a yawn. I watched them walk over to my bed.

"Yeah baby, but we forgot something." said mom.

"What?" I asked sleepily.

"This..." said dad as they both leaned down and kissed me. It's something they'd done every night for almost a year.

"Goodnight angel," said mom, hugging me.

"Night mom."

"Goodnight sunshine," said dad, hugging me.

"Night dad."

They stayed until I was completely asleep.

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"Jack's POV"

She said yes. Sam said yes. HOLY BUCKETS SHE SAID YES!

I took Sam into my arms after slipping the ring on her finger. I kissed her deeply and passionately. All of a sudden, we lost all sensation and then regained it…in our room.

"Wow." said Sam unsteadily.

"Talk about the earth moving," I said grinning.

"Oh shit Jack," she said backing up as a thought struck her.

"Sam? What's wrong baby?" I said, getting worried she was going to change her mind about marrying me.

"We forgot something…or rather someone."

I thought for a moment. "Jessie…goodnight kiss."

"We've given her a goodnight kiss every night for the last eleven months…and tonight we forgot."

I took her hand and led us back to Jessie's room. I knocked lightly and opened the door. "Jessie?" I asked softly. We walked in and she sat up sleepily.

"Wha…didn't I just orb you out?" she asked fighting sleep.

"Yeah baby, but we forgot something," said Sam.

I could tell she was fighting to stay awake. "What?"

"This..." I said as we leaned down and kissed her.

"Goodnight angel," said Sam hugging her.

"Night mom."

"Goodnight sunshine," I said, giving her a hug too.

"Night dad" she said yawning.

We sat there, on Jessie's bed until we were 100 sure that she was asleep and not having nightmares. I took Sam in my arms and picked her up. I carried her to our room and, taking off my own shirt first, slowly undressed her. Even thought we'd done this many, many times before, every time with Sam was new…a new experience…and an affirmation of our love and commitment to each other and to our family.

I ran my hand down her jaw line. "You are so beautiful," I murmured, leaning down and capturing her mouth with mine. I couldn't get enough of her. Passion overtook us and we made love well into the night. All I can say is now that I've got her, I'm never letting her go. I'm never letting either one of them go…my fiancé (soon to be wife) or my daughter.

Away From The Sun – 3 Doors Down

Epiphany – Staind

Just wanted to thank all those who reviewed. This is actually part of an anthology I'm working on. The first part is Beginnings. That's what ya'll have been reading. The next part will take place a few years later and will be entitled Family. Once again, thanks for the great reviews. :D

Jennifer Carter