Sorry, it took me longer than expected to go on with this story, but here's (finally) chapter two!

Disclaimer: I still do not own the characters of Tolkien (what a pity)! But this queer story comes from my mind!

February, 13th – anotherr enerving day to go

Deer diary!

Today, we gots the Gondorian Timesss very early in the morning becaussse we has an arrangement with the post man, gollum! (He bringsss usss the paper every morining and we won't bite him and chase him through the town)

Ssstill, there are these filthy mortals all over the town, kisssing, embracing each other! But we will also have that very sssoon, won't we, preciousss?

Yes, we will, gollum, gollum! And that "sssoon" will be tomorrow on this slimy St. Valentine's Day!

And jussst because of our lonely heartsss ad, preciousss?

Of course! Or what do you think? Gollum, gollum!

We read that today in the paper, didn't we? It isss very gollum!

We are looking for a date for the filthy St. Valentine's Day of you stupid mortals!

We are a creepy and always sssniffing creature that usually hatesss the light of day and night.

If you wants us, then you ssshould be willing to move to a dark cave in the ssstupid Mountains because we doesn't wants somebody jussst for fun! We wants our future wife!

Write usss a letter if you wants to go out with usss tomorrow!

Write to…

Thisss will help us to find a girl, won't it, preciousss?

You love to hear your own voice, don't you? Gollum, gollum! Jussst shut up till tomorrow becaussse we has to wait for repliesss to thisss letter! Gollum, gollum!

It would be very nice if you could write a review and tell me how you like the story! Thanks!