Author's Note: Oh my, seems what started at a question is snowballing into quite a little controversy. The whole idea behind it came from my brains, which were inspired by The Nightmare Before Christmas. The plotline is original, hopefully, but the characters used to portray it are not for the most part. Oh, and for any of you who take the whole "My name is for you to find out" part of my bio seriously, e-mail your guess to me, first names only, no last names or minor details of my life. That's a tad spooky. My e-mail's in my bio. Get it wrong, no imaginary cookie. Get it right, imaginary cookie of your own creation. Happy guessing and read on!

What Jack and Sally didn't know, among other things, was that they were being watched at the moment. Saint Valentine looked from inside the temple before turning his furious gaze back to Venus. That pagan goddess was always up to no good behind his back. She was the reason their whole holiday was almost ruined in the first place. No, Saint Valentine had to put his foot down this time, even if Venus had a rational explanation for messing with nature.

"Just what in God's name do you think you are doing?" Saint Valentine asked in a whisper.

"What? Am I not allowed to entertain guests?" Venus asked, fluttering her eyelids and playing dumb.

"No need to bother distracting me, Cupid let me in on the whole thing. At least you raised him to tell the truth."

"How long did he last under your wonderful inquisition? Longer than five minutes?"

"Three."

"Well, that would explain how you got here so fast," Venus said in a disappointed tone. "What do you know?"

"I know you are trying to explain the "facts of life" to dead people. Do you hear anything wrong with that sentence?" Saint Valentine asked.

"Come on, Valentine. You make it sound like I am plotting someone's murder."

"You are messing with Nature. The fact is dead people are dead. They have no capacity to create or carry life. You've surely realized this by now, have you not?"

"Those are minor obstacles I can fix."

"Fix? Look at them! He is a skeleton and-"

"You know, for being the Saint of Love, I never thought you could be intolerant," Venus said.

"What do you mean by intolerant?" Saint Valentine asked as he put his hands on his hips.

"Well, just because Jack is a skeleton does not mean he should not have children."

"I am not saying he should not have children. I am pointing out that he incapable of doing so."

"Which is something I can fix."

"How on Earth can you fix that? And what about the Sally? Do you really think she is emotionally ready to become a mother? Doesn't the poor girl have enough with one overgrown child running around?"

"Valentine, take a good, long look at them," Venus said as she pointed the saint's line of vision back to the garden. "You can just feel the love they share without having to listen to them say one word. If children were born into an environment such as the one they could provide, odd as it may be, you have to admit that there would be less unhappy children growing into unhappy people."

"But it goes against everything in Nature," Saint Valentine sighed, already beginning to give in.

"Valentine, I am going to help them with or without your blessing. If you join now, it will make things easier down the road."

The saint sighed once more and decided that this time, this time, he would let Venus do things as she saw fit. He walked outside with her to Find Psyche coming back to the table with a considerably lighter bucket. Apparently, she had done Venus the favor of fertilizing some plants. As all three of the Valentine Townsfolk sat down, they took a collective breath and continued the whole facts of life talk.

"Now, where were we?" Venus asked.

"My lack of organs," Sally volunteered.

"Ah, yes. Now, you have to at least have a digestive system to eat and drink, so you are not completely organ-less. I have seen you drink tea, so I know that has to be true," Venus said to Sally.

"Is that a good thing?" Jack asked.

"Yes, it is," Venus said, smiling when Jack and Sally shared a quick, hopeful glance at one another. "You will need to have a way to feed the child as it develops within you, and the womb gets food from the mother's digestive system."

"Wait," Sally interrupted. "How would a baby get in my body in the first place? They're pretty big."

"Oh, they're not always that size," Psyche said. "They start out very small."

"Really? Microscopic, even?" Jack asked.

"If that means very tiny, then yes. My baby's about the size of a leaf right about now. He or she was even tinier before."

"From the point the child comes into existence, he or she grows in the mother's body," Saint Valentine said, finally getting into the conversation. "He or she develops for around forty weeks, within the traditional nine month waiting period from conception to birth. That is plenty of time to grow."

"I knew I should have brought a notebook," Jack said. "This is all so fascinating."

"No need to fret, the mortals are obsessed with babies. You can find anything on the topic in the Real World," Venus said before pausing to correct herself. "Well, to be honest, a good lot of them prefer the process of creating a baby than actually raising and caring for one."

"You be careful if you do research in the Real World," Saint Valentine said. "A lot of those humans have less than clean minds."

"How can something associated with babies be unclean?" Sally asked before she opened her eyes wide. "Oh! Are we talking about six?"

"Sweetie, six is a number. What we are referring to right now is sex, the odd world of pleasure, sickness, bawdy humor, and love all rolled into a complicated package," Venus said.

"It sounds confusing," Jack said. "My head's beginning to hurt, mind if I take it off?"

"You can take off your head?" Saint Valentine asked with a surprised look on his face.

"Yes. It would make me feel a little better if I took it off."

"Well, knock yourself out," Venus said, not even flinching when Jack took his head off and rested it on the table.

"Much better," said Jack's head as his body leaned against Sally.

"Excuse me again," Psyche said as she ran off with the bucket once more.

"Sorry!" Jack exclaimed to Psyche, a little too late.

"Now, now, pregnant women can be set off to a bucket or near bathroom by anything. It is part of the whole deal. Sometimes the baby does not quite agree with what the mother eats or sees, or does for that matter," Venus said to Jack's head reassuringly, which blinked in response.

"Venus, where does the whole sex thing take place when it comes to having babies?" Sally asked.

"At the very beginning. Without it, there would be no children. Is that not a passage in your holy book, Saint Valentine?" Venus asked smugly.

"Yes, the Lord told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply, I remember," Saint Valentine replied, still amazed that Jack could remove his head.

"After he was ever so rude in kicking them out of Paradise too."

"They broke the rules."

"Valentine, if eating was breaking the rules, everyone would be forever imprisoned."

"It was not eating that was the bad act, Venus, it was what they ate," Saint Valentine said before noticing the utter looks of bewilderment on Jack and Sally's faces. "We had better stop the theological discussion for now, Venus."

"Agreed. Sally, Jack, the point is that the bodily union between man and woman is what creates children. That is sex."

"Bodily union?" Jack's head asked as his right index finger tapped the table. "What does that mean, exactly? Holding hands?"

"Not at all," Saint Valentine said. "Well, you certainly are lost."

"Wait a minute," Jack said. "Does this go back to how I use the bathroom?"

"Yes!" Venus exclaimed. "See, Valentine? They're learning!"

"So that was necessary for something other than urinating?" Jack asked before his hands picked up his head and fastened it on his neck. "No wonder Henry asked me if I had anything else troubling me!"

"Again with that Henry fellow," Venus said. "Who is he?"

"He was the Pumpkin King before me, he taught me everything I know. He failed to mention anything about sex though."

"He probably felt since you were dead, you wouldn't have a desire to start a family," Saint Valentine said, "and the fact that you are a skeleton makes it, well, anatomically impossible."

"He must have been expecting you to live an afterlife of celibacy," Venus said.

"Celibacy?" Sally asked.

"Life without a partner. As in, you two would not even be allowed to kiss, let alone have children."

"Well, he was wrong," Jack said. "I'm not saying we want any children now, unless-"

"No, none yet," Sally said, assuring Jack to continue his train of thought.

"My point is that Sally and I fell in love. We want to live as the rulers of our land and marry. We also would like to have little ones of our own running around our house someday," Jack stated.

"How could we not after taking care of Takoda that whole time?" Sally asked.

"Calm down, you two," Venus said. "I know this must be very frustrating for you right now, but I can make the impossible happen, loves. After a little more explanation on the subject of where little bundles of joy come from, I think you will be ready for my magic."

"You do?" Jack asked.

"I do. Now, cheer up. I see my son flying back to us, and he has brought the Stork with him. If anyone else can give you solid information on babies, it's him."

Well, well, the infamous Stork. What is he like? What info and advice can he give to dead people who want to create life? Will poor Psyche feel better after using the bucket another time? More to come, so stick around, loves. (Re-edit Comment: Imagine, a former priest and a Love Goddess explaining the facts of life to dead people. I'm scared to think of what I'd come up with if I ever took any narcotics.)