Disclaimer: Not mine, so sue me if I'm using 'em. Love is Blindness belongs to U2, and if I could I'd own Bono Vox, but nope, no chance of that. Growl! Transcripts and lyrics from any site that has 'em.
A/N: In my Gilmoreverse, Rory has curly hair like in Swan Song, just 'cause I like her better that way. Please excuse the amount of swear words, but I wanted to portray what our two diner guys are feeling, and during that fight emotions run high and tension piles up. Hope you see where I'm coming from.
Chapter 3: Love is Blindness
9 PM
"Easy" topics.
School.
Flashback
"You don't take anything seriously. That's why you're doing so crappy in school. You're smart enough, you read more than anyone I've ever seen. There's no reason why you should be barely graduating." Luke's voice is growing angrier by the second. Everything Jess has done wrong since coming to Stars Hollow is finally taking its toll. This kid is fucking unbelievable.
"I'm not." Deal with it, Uncle Luke.
"You're not what?" Oh, no, please don't tell me what I think I'm thinking you're going to tell me. And Lorelai has taken over the building. Keep the coffee stashed at all times...
"I'm not graduating." There, happy? Surprisingly, he doesn't feel as smug as he sounds.
"Yes, you are." He must be joking, else he's not going to graduation, the school burned down, or he burned it down...
No, I'm not." Dammit Luke, get the hint. This conversation needs to be over, I need to figure out my fucking life!
"Yes, you are, because we had an agreement that if you were gonna live here, you were gonna go to school and you were gonna graduate." That was the agreement, wasn't it? Cause I sure don't remember a you can swap school for Wal-Mart any time you please clause in there, my darling nephew.
"Well, I didn't and I'm not." Jess Mariano, too cool for school. Yeah, that's me. This spiteful thought leaves him a bitter taste somewhere at the back of his throat.
" What is wrong with you? What, did you do this just to spite me?" So this is what failing someone feels like. Wow. Realization sinks in. And that is why I don't have kids, because I knew I couldn't for the life of me take care of someone. Let alone someone like this smarthmouthed fuckup who doesn't get it. While Lorelai, as nuts as she is, has a well adjusted teenaged daughter who's graduating at the top of her class and is going to Yale in the fal. And it always comes down to Lorelai, doesn't it?
"Look, forget it, it's done." Take the fucking hint Luke, we're not having this damned conversation any longer.
"What's your life now? Wal-Mart full time, that's your great future? Gonna take the plunge and buy yourself a second blue vest?" Yeah, the future. This kid doesn't even know how to spell the word. Let alone giving it some thought.
"Maybe, why not? What's wrong with it? I mean, it's no diner." There. Take this and chew on it, Uncle Luke, cause sure as hell I am through thinking and discussing this. With you. Who run a diner. And pine after Lorelai. At least I beat you on that. I got my Lorelai. And as soon as that thought is over, there is another, much more painful and less pleasant sinking in. And I'm going to lose her. Because I failed her. And you. These two syllables linger.
"Hey, I own this business, kid! I built it, this is mine! I'm not at the mercy of some boss waiting and hoping to be chosen employee of the month for a couple extra hundred bucks and a plaque. I'm always employee of the month. I'm employee of the year, of the century, of the universe. You should be so lucky to have a job like mine. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna live here one more year, you're gonna quit you job, you're gonna take twelfth grade over again, and you will graduate." Take it, Jess, this is the last chance you get. The world ain't big on second chances, kid, and you're getting way too many of them, and keep screwing 'em up. What in hell is so wrong you can't fix? What has you so derailed you can't get back on track?
"No." Fuck off! Don't tell me what to do with my life! My. Life. Mine. Only thing I own! Back off!
"I'm not playing with you here, Jess. You quit your job, you go to school." Last chance, kid. For my sake, your sake, take it.
End Flashback
A CD Lane put together for her plays in the background. Time for U2 to bring some more angst to this situation. They don't mind, it's the kind of angst that goes along with the current mood.
"Love is blindness,
I don't want to see
won't you wrap the night
around me"
"Don't you want to graduate?" she asks.
This is preposterous. Why wouldn't anybody want to graduate? Then she stops dead in her tracks. This is Jess Mariano we're talking about. We aren't talking normal here. At least, not normal by my standards: good grades, good books, good college... good, good, good. Ick. Not using the word good for the next twenty-four hours.
"Don't know". He's truthful about it. "School is a waste of time." He stops her protest before she has a chance to voice it.
"Not you, Ror."
She shuts up.
And again, this is Jess Mariano. Who is not Rory Gilmore. Meaning we're two different people. Of course we are, or this would be gross. And improbable. And a paradox if I've ever heard of one. Ok Gilmore, stop right there.
But she understands what he's saying.
"Love is clockworks
and cold steel"
"You're thinking about it, though... you aren't giving completely up?"
Her voice is so hopeful he has to give her something.
"Thinking. No decisions made yet" And he's not lying. He's considering his options. And as he feels her hold on him tightening, he ticks them off in his mind, wondering what the best one could be. He knows she's doing the same.
"Love is drowning in a deep well
all the secrets and noone to tell"
G.E.D.
Night courses.
Summer school.
Retaking 12th.
None of them sound appealing, and none sound strongly disappealing either.
Huh.
He also needs to check one more thing, before the decision making progress goes under way.
"A little death without mourning
no call and no warning
Baby... a dangerous idea
that almost makes sense"
"Rory?" He's gotta ask. He needs to.
"Mmm?"
"It's still 22.8 miles, right?" a hint of fear in his voice.
"Last time I checked" she deadpans, but something inside of her is doing flipturns and cartwheels.
"Oh my love
blindness"
A/N: check bio. No kidding. Meaning of life hidden there. :)
