A/N: Here we go again. I am exceedingly sorry for failing to update sooner (I hope some of you cared), but anyway here it is. Please review, as always.
Disclaimer: like last time, I don't own Code Lyoko. Too bad.
Reviewer responses:
mizZ hypocrite 101: Thanks for reviewing. I hope you feel better! If you ever want to talk, I'm a good listener, and you can throw me an e-mail or IM. :)
Flying Star: thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!! You have no idea how much your reviews mean to me. Really. And, yes, The Enemy Within was great. I'm so glad you're around, it's hard to find good writers like you.
Anonymous: Thanks.
indigowolf I'm glad you like it. Sorry I don't have a cool disclaimer this time too. Oh well.
tyler: did you just say jeebus?
Tellemicus Sundance: Yay! I'm so happy you like it! It means a lot to me that you decided to come review my fic. :)
And Here We Go!
Yumi's P.O.V.
"Come on Aelita, you can't keep putting it off. Go see him! I've told you that it's going to be just fine! You'll be glad that you did," I said to my friend, who was sitting cross-legged on her bed. We were in my room, and she was playing with my Totoro pillow nervously. She had told me that she'd go see Jeremie that day. But she obviously wasn't in any hurry. It was now almost nine in the morning, at least two hours since we had gotten up.
"I suppose so," the pink-haired girl whispered, not looking at me. Her eyes sat on the floor, and they seemed to be afraid to venture anywhere else.
Aelita had seemed so secretive lately. I didn't know what to make of it.
Neither of us said anything for a while. Finally, Aelita opened her mouth. "I guess there is no point in waiting," she said, getting off of her bed. "At least, no more than I have already," I could tell that she was trying to hide her anxiety.
"Okay. Do you want me to go with you?" I asked, knowing that if I had gotten into a fight with Ulrich and was going to confront him, I'd want to have some reinforcements go along with me.
Aelita, who was putting on her shoes, threw me a brief glance. "Uh, sure…"
Together, we made our way for the school, the chilly autumn world consuming us.
----------------------------
Odd's P.O.V.
I held the knife just above Ulrich's chest, ready to stab it through his heart. I didn't know what I was doing. Beads of sweat gathered on my forehead, and my eyes were wide.
I was about to let my arm plunge down onto Ulrich, to impale him with the knife, when his eyes popped open, making me almost jump out of my skin.
I hid the blade behind my back. Ulrich didn't see it.
"Odd? What…what are you doing?" Ulrich asked, sitting up, and blinking.
I looked around, trying to come up with an answer. 'What was I doing?' I asked myself. I was suddenly very scared. I didn't know what to do or say.
"Odd? Are you okay?" Ulrich asked.
I was about to open my mouth, to see if an excuse would come out on its own, when someone knocked on our door.
I walked over to it, confused at myself, but glad for the interruption. Turning the doorknob and pulling on it, I revealed Yumi standing outside. Her usual smile was comforting, although there was something else there. Maybe a look of worry, or sadness.
"Hey guys," she said. "I hope it's not too early. But Aelita wanted to go see Jeremie and I thought I'd go with to see you two."
I knew that by 'us two' she really meant just Ulrich. I felt so unimportant to her.
"No, it's not too early," Ulrich said from behind me. "I just need to get dressed," he informed us, heading into the bathroom with some clothes.
I watched him walk inside the bathroom and close the door behind himself. He was just like the old Ulrich that I knew. Why had I felt so much hatred towards him just moments before?
I looked over at Yumi, who had come inside, and was making herself comfortable on Ulrich's desk chair. She smiled at me. "So how's it going, Odd?"
Suddenly, for a single instant, a flash of red light filled my mind. I blinked.
When I didn't respond, a questioning look crossed her face. "Odd?" she got up and walked over to me. "Are you okay?"
I closed my eyes. The scarlet flash raced across my mind again. And I barely saw the image of Xana's eye.
"Odd?! Odd! Earth to Odd!" I heard her say, over and over again. I looked up at her. Ulrich was just returning from the bathroom, wearing his typical olive green outfit.
"What's going on, you guys?" he asked.
"Something's wrong with Odd," Yumi said.
"Odd, what's up? Are you feeling alright?" Ulrich asked me, concerned.
And it was then that I knew I was not myself, for the second time today. I looked directly at Ulrich, a loathsome look in my eyes. I knew it was present because I could see myself from across the room, somehow, even though I could see out of my own eyes at the same time. It's really hard to explain. But I couldn't control myself. My eyes switched over to Yumi's, my frown becoming a toothy grin, one that only I knew had a hint of mischief in it.
"I'm excellent," I didn't say. The words just came out of my mouth.
-------------------------------
Aelita's P.O.V.
I stared at his door, not quite knowing if I really wanted to knock just yet.
'I know I can do this. Are human relationships not built in a way that force obstacles in the pathways of those who love one another? Are we any different? Fights mean only that we have come to an opportunity to learn from each other. I must see him. This is right, and I should know it. So why am I so afraid?' I asked myself. My right hand brushed against the side of my leg, and my fingertips made their way into my pocket, instinctively bringing out the small black book. I wanted to start writing in it then at that moment, I wanted to ease the steady pain pumping through my veins, and the fear I felt for knocking on Jeremie's door. I wanted to feel the adjectives fly from my mind, down through my arm, and out my fingers, becoming sentences, describing my agony on the pages.
'No. I can't. Not right now. I must go see him.'
My head pounded a little harder.
Unable to force my hand into a fist capable of beating out a rhythm on Jeremie's door, I took out the pen from my pocket, and squatted on the floor with my diary.
I feel such pain now that my hand is having trouble holding the pen down onto the paper… And yet I am obligated to do what I fear worst- confronting Jeremie. Why is this hard for me?!
Another jolt of pain shuddered through my body, leaving as quickly as it had come.
My eyes shifted over to a nearby window.
I pictured myself breaking the glass, and taking a shard to my neck, allowing my blood to flow from it, feeling myself die.
I want to know if I have a spirit, diary. If I killed myself now, would I move on, or cease to exist? As morbid as it sounds, either option seems better than the one in front of me. I realize now that I am not ever going to return to Lyoko like Jeremie said I'd have to.
I felt a lump ache powerfully in my throat.
I am so sorry to everyone for this. The fate of the world lies in the fact that I can no longer go on…
The sound of movement in front of me made me jump. Realizing that Jeremie was just in the room ahead, I knew that I would have to act quickly. I capped my pen and shoved it in my pocket, and was about to walk over to the window when…
The door in front of me opened, and a groggy-looking Jeremie stuck his head out. I didn't have time to put away my diary, so I shoved it away, finding a convenient nook in the wall to hide it in. I could grab it on the way out.
Jeremie blinked. "Aelita?"
I straightened up, and looked into his eyes. I could not tell what lay behind them, what feelings he had about my visit. "Jeremie," I whispered.
"What do you want?" he asked, in a way that was neither hostile nor welcoming.
"I…I just came by to talk…" I said, aware that he seemed not to want me. 'Yumi can have her wish, I guess. I'll speak to him. But only for a while,' I told myself.
He looked at me a moment.
"Well, can I come in, or not?" I asked, a little bolder-sounding than before.
He hesitated, but then he opened the door wider and stepped aside, allowing me to enter his dorm. I walked inside.
His room was dark, except for angled lines of gray light streaming into his window. His computer monitor was on screen saver, patterns dancing on it slowly.
"Happy Halloween," he mumbled as he shut the door behind me.
"It's Halloween today…. I forgot…."
He crossed his arms, and leaned against the door. "Yeah, well. I'm sure it's a forgivable offense," he said blankly.
I was depressed by how gloomy he and his environment appeared to be. 'Why am I even here?' I wondered. 'This is my fault and we both know it.' "Uh, Jeremie… About yesterday…." I began.
He looked down. "Oh you mean, when you informed the group about how you failed to tell me about your virus?" His voice had a certain bitterness to it, one that was vague but definitely present.
I took a deep breath. "Okay, I suppose that's one way to put it…" I said.
"I want to know why you felt like you had to hide something from me," he said, his face reflecting a strange look that I had never seen on Jeremie's face before – one that could, possibly be hatred?
"Look, I came to work that out! I'm here to say that I'm sorry," I said, getting somewhat annoyed.
"You came here…. to work it out? …. to…. to say that you're sorry?! Well let me tell you something, Aelita," he said, stepping closer to me. "When you're here on earth, you're just like everyone else. You get one life. One! Now if you want me to protect that one life of yours…"
I cut him off. "Oh, so what, now? You think I need protection?! If I'm just like everyone else here, than I deserve not to be treated like such a little fucking girl! I don't need your protection! In Lyoko it's one thing, but here I can take care of myself, so… so… deal with it!" I screamed, anger burning in my veins like gasoline. I then looked down, mildly ashamed. I had never really yelled at any one like this before. I had definitely never felt this much rage inside.
I felt my headache get a little worse.
Walking closer still, he stared at me, dead in the face. I could feel his breath on my cheeks. "Fine," he simply said. Then he turned around and walked over to his bed, and began making it. "Is that how you think I treat you, Aelita? Like a little girl?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the bed he was making.
"Yes," was my answer. "And I think that in getting so caught up in all of your ideas about how I'm just an innocent girl from Lyoko and that means that I need to be protected at every moment, that you've failed to see that I don't need you as much as you think I do!" He opened his mouth and pointed a finger at me, about to say something. But I didn't let him say it. "…AND EVEN THOUGH I may have a virus, I don't need your support, you bastard!" Underneath, I felt a strange happiness, because I had always had this bizarre desire to get so mad at someone that I could call them a bastard. Further underneath, I felt sad, though, because I knew that Jeremie was no bastard. I knew I hadn't come here to scream at him. But something made me feel as though I needed to say these things. That Jeremie deserved it.
"You have that virus because you wanted to come to Earth. Now I'm not going to watch while you die because of it!"
That made me even angrier. I felt the worsening pain caused by my virus fuel my rage. "So it's my fault?! No way! I'm not taking the blame for this. And if it's such a hassle to try to find an anti-virus, why are you doing it at all?! If it's my fault, than why do you even bother?"
He looked into my eyes, burning rage visible behind them. "I guess I don't know any more, considering all of the thanks I get."
"Then stop. I don't care. Let me die. You obviously don't love me anyway," I said, my voice completely flat. I opened his door and stormed out.
"Fine! I will!" Jeremie shouted, following me out into the hallway.
"Good! Now you can get back to writing all of your little computer programs and growing up into the fucking genius that you try to be. But you know what? Maybe you aren't as smart as you think you are!" I screamed at him. My headache, I noticed, was becoming almost unbearably painful.
"Whatever," he said, going back into his dorm and slamming the door behind him.
I felt tears in my eyes. Hot ones, ones that only come when you're so mad that you can't think straight.
But my virus…. My stomach seemed to shriek out in agony. My head felt as though knives were piercing through it. I felt a warm liquid rush from my nose down onto my upper lip, and as it dripped down onto my clothing, I found that it was blood.
I staggered across the hallway, using the wall for support. Finally, I could no longer stand the pain, and I fell to the ground. The world around me became blurred and discolored, before fading into darkness completely.
"Oh my god!" cried a female voice.
"Someone call an ambulance!!" someone else shouted.
And then, my world was nothing. I lost myself to the infinite, never getting to say another word to Jeremie.
The last thing I saw was the blood-red eye of Xana blotting out the sun, a twisted and painful flashback to my nightmare.
