Losing It
Summary: A girl once used to sit by this window, her tired eyes never resting and her sweet voice never speaking. Oh course she did speak, once in her lifetime. She even used to be happy and cheerful. But that was before it happened. Before she left. Before she lost herself in child hood dreams and fantasies. Before he came.
Chapter 1: Before it all13th
January 1904
My father
bought me this diary for Christmas. Its great, it's a plain
leathery black and would have cost him heaps. I was delighted when I
tore open the brown paper decorated in assorted pictures, which John
and Michael must have drawn, to find this lovely book. My farther
told me that I can use it to help with schoolwork, but my mother told
me other wise. She had whispered in my ear when farther was not
looking, that I could use it as a journal. She had smiled her perfect
smile. She is always perfect. Never a single strand of hair out of
place and always keeps her sense. She is special; I know this because
she has a hidden kiss. It is perched on the right hand corner of her
mouth. Oh how I wish I were like her. Maybe if I were, father
wouldn't have to try so hard, because I'd be the perfect
daughter.
15th
January 1904
Tonight
Aunt Millicent is over so we all have to have baths. John and Michael
aren't to happy about this but I'm sure Nana will sort them out
(Nana is or family dog. She's our nurse and takes care of us kids).
I have just told my brothers a story. It was Cinderella. But
unfortunately I was unable to finish because Nana started barking at
the window. We went to see what was there but there was nothing but a
few dry, dead leaves. I think Nana must have been making it all up
because while we were looking out the window the clock rung and
catching us by surprise, Nana stared chasing Michael out of the room
and down the hall for a bath. Of course Michael being Michael would
not have a bath easily and ran along the hall like an Indian (he
loves Indians, same as John). Aunt Millicent got quite a fright when
the chandelier down stairs started shaking, but mother calmed her
before she worked up into a scene. Father some times despises Nana
because he always thinks she gets more respect than him. But of
course when that happens we all have to be nice to him. Just so he
knows that we love him as well.
I'm so out ragged. Tonight after tea we had a little performance for Aunt Millicent. Mother played her magical tunes on the Piano and Aunt Millicent was surly pleased by that. I was to perform after her and John and Michael had pleaded for me to tell a story. One with Indians and Pirates, but Aunt Millicent wasn't to excited. She even despised my idea of a future. My whole life I had wanted to be an author, one that wrote from real life experiences and from the heart. She had said that I was getting to old to be acting like a child. She had even inspected me as if I was a newly found animal. I was quite embarrassed when I had to twirl in front of her. I'd have to say that I wasn't quite ready for the information she was about to give me. She had told me that I had a hidden kiss. It was hidden quite conspicuously at the right hand corner of my mouth. A hushed silence had filled the room like a dense fog when she had said it (a little to confidently if you ask me, as if she had known all along and was just waiting for the right moment to tell everyone else). I had staggered backwards with shock and my heart actually stopped beating for one whole second. It was if the hilt of a sword had just smacked me in the chest. I fumbled for words, and finding none just placed my fingers lightly to the right hand corner on my lips. Still Aunt Millicent talked to my flabbergasted parents and they listened intently. But I wasn't, I was to occupied in my own thoughts. Wondering what grand adventure this kiss would give. My mother had always told me that if anyone is blessed with a hidden kiss they are destined for a grand adventure. That was probably why my parents where so worried. It would be hard to believe that your daughter would ever have such adventures. They were possibly scared of what they were. I wonder if they will ever include Peter Pan. My mother was probably thinking that at the time. She had once asked about him, because she had seen him in my dreams at night. Oh course she hadn't remembered him. She had known about him in her dreams, but now, since she has grown up she completely forgot. Later that night when my brothers and I were supposed to be in bed, we had snuck downstairs to listen to Aunt Millicent discuss my future to my parents. And, like always, Aunt Millicent was deciding it for them and me. She was chatting to them about socials. About meeting more people. Then to my brothers and my shook she said the most dreadful and heart breaking thing. She was discussing for me to leave the nursery. To have my own room, and sleep all by my self, with out my clouded ceiling and toys. I was pieced, as if a nail had strung a hole in my heart, by her unbearable words. Michael even let out a cry but John muffled it by covering his mouth with his hand. I couldn't bear to listen any more so I had run up to the nursery and cried. My brothers did not want to disturb me, so they sat in the living room and waited with Nana.
16th
January 1904
Its still
night at the moment and just then an extraordinary thing happened. I
was asleep in my bed when I awoke to find a boy above me. But this
was not an ordinary boy because he was floating above me. Not one
part of his body was touching the ground. I shot up in bed, which
must have frightened him because he flew out the window. But my gasp
must have woken Nana because she was on her feet barking at the
figure out side the window. She grabbed hold of a dark shadow and
wouldn't let go. With a finale tug there was a low rip and Nana and
the shadow were flung backwards and the window slammed shut. I ran
out side with a lighted candle but there was nothing there. No one
had fallen. Certainly I must have been dreaming.
School today was treacherous as usual. Miss folsome dispatched a letter of out rage to my father because I was drawing a picture of my seeing last night. I was fully downcast for the rest of the day. Then while I was walking down the busy London street with nana and the boys fate was kind and the messenger which Miss Folsome had giving the letter to rode past of his bike. I must have giving everyone quite a fright when I just ran off into the street. Nana, of course ran after me as if she was the mother duck and I was the stray duckling. I ran straight into the bank where father worked. The messenger didn't relies I was calling for him and walked Cooley down the bank hall. "Father!" I had screamed just as Nana burst through the double doors. The messenger turned around at this point. His face was shocked to see such a display. Nana had slipped on the waxed floor and collided into me. The messenger was never able to deliver his message because he to was knocked over. Then with out warning Nana collided into the bank manger and all the other workers around him. Father was outraged. He had walked Nana home in a flurry. The family had gathered just inside the back door. We were all too afraid to take any actions, of him falsely accusing Nana. With great force he had tethered up the whining dog and bid her services as a nurse good bye. I was greatly depressed and a tear dropped down my cheek as he yelled at me these exact words. "Tomorrow Wendy, you will begin your instruction with Aunt Millicent. Its time for you to grow up." Those words tore through my heart and I ran to the nursery and cried into my pillow. I have never been so hurt in my life. But I feel as if something is different. Something is going to change. Or already has. I feel as if father has made the wrong decision to tie Nana up tonight. Especially since they are going out. Its as if I feel that life is going to change forever. But I don't care if it does. I wish it would
