Disclaimer: All hail the Disney Empire! They own the characters
and the show. I'm a broke college student earning nothing from this story or
it's posting.
Author's Notes: I'd like to thank everyone who's hung on. This
story has dragged on longer than I ever planned it to. Only two more chapters
left until the end . The lyrics and the title of this chapter come from Enigma.
prasanna vadanaaM saubhaagyadaaM bhaagyadaaM
hastaabhyaaM abhayapradaaM maNigaNair-
naanaavidhair-bhuushhitaaM
who is of smiling face, bestower of all fortunes,
whose hands are ready to rescue anyone from fear,
who is adorned by various ornaments with precious stones
Chapter IV: The Child in Us
"They're dead aren't they?" Tommy asked without preamble when David entered the infirmary the day after Dimitria released him from the healing pod. His brother didn't respond until he'd reached his sibling's side.
"They were in the shopping district when the monster attack hit. They. . ." David had to stop, he'd volunteered with the recovery crew to help clear away the debris and look for survivors before the repair Zords came in and reconstructed the felled buildings of both cities. He now understood why the others didn't volunteer anymore. The knowledge that they'd in some way contributed to the death weighed heavily on them, seeing the dead they couldn't save ate at them more. The image of finding the Olivers' remains would haunt him to his grave. "I don't think they suffered." He said at last.
Tommy laid motionless for a long period of time. "I saw it." he spoke into the uncomfortable silence.
David looked at him; measured his words; and his lack of emotions. "Tell me what happened in the Vortex."
The younger twin frowned. "It was like every bad memory I'd ever had played out before me. Over and over again. Talk about my life flashing before my eyes. Man, in a way I think I feel calmer. I had a long time to look at everything, and around the fifth time. . . I guess I started getting used to seeing it. It didn't hurt as much. It wasn't like my normal nightmares where everything is exaggerated and I dream about being unable to keep myself from. . ." He cleared his throat. Some things were still fresh wounds in his mind.
David reached out to comfort his brother emotionally and physically hugging him. "Don't sugar coat the pain. Trying to bury it further won't help."
"I'm not burying anything." David looked at him incredulously. "Don't look at me like that. I'm fine. So the only people I've ever been comfortable calling Mom and Dad died in a battle meant only to keep the Rangers occupied while Divatox' goons captured and tortured me." Tommy twitched involuntarily. David raised his eyebrow.
"So you're fine. So you're fine after every bad memory you've ever experienced replayed itself over and over before your eyes. And you're fine with the Olivers dying, and you're fine that you just found out that you'll never. . ."
"Stop!" Tommy burst out. David lost his balance and fell back into a nearby chair. Tommy rubbed his temple in pain. "Stop it already. I get the point." The pain in his head increased as bile threatened to rise in his throat. He looked over at his dazed brother. "I'm sorry. Oh man, what did I just do?"
David straightened himself up in his chair and thought better of standing up again, instead scooted his chair against the bed his brother lay in. "It was my fault. Dimitria told me not to get you too upset. I'll leave you alone to rest."
Tommy fought down the nausea."Wait. I. . ." By the time he was able to get that much out his brother had already walked out. "I don't want to be left alone." He spoke to the air. Less than a minute after David had left, Alpha VI came in and gave him a sedative mixed with something that eased the nausea.
Jason was in the room when Tommy awoke next. "Hey." His voice cracked from dryness. His friend poured a glass of water and handed it to him as he sat up. Before speaking again he took a healthy gulp and let it wet his throat before attempting to speak again. "Thanks."
"No problem." Jason sat back in his chair. "David told me what happened the other day."
Tommy's eyes went wide. "What? The other day? I was out that long?"
"Dimitria also wanted me to remind you not to get too emotional." Jason said calmly. "How are you holding up? Nightmares? Feeling the need to talk?"
Tommy sighed inwardly. "I'm not thinking about hurting myself again if that's what you're getting at."
Noncommittally Jason responded."I have to ask you know. You don't. . . seem the same."
"I finally remember what happened before." He cleared his throat. "Before I came to Angel Grove."
"And was the file you read the truth?" Jason asked with concern.
"Yes and no." The injured teen wasn't ready to admit anything else yet. So much for being fine with everything he'd experienced.
"You're staying with me for awhile." Jason suddenly changed the subject.
"Ex-squeeze me?" Tommy hadn't been ready for that shift in the conversation. "What did you guys do draw straws to see who'd be on watch?" He saw Jason's face shift. "You did!" He didn't know whether to laugh or be upset.
"It was actually a toss up between me and David." Jason explained. "David said he really wanted to, but then Sam showed up and said something cryptic about tigers and falcons in the spinning circle of life." Jason smiled. "So you're stuck with me whether you like it or not. I already talked to my parents. They said they'd love to have stay you with us. I think mom just wants to 'dissect your inner psyche.'"
Adam sat alone at the Rangers' usual table in the Youth Center contemplating recent events. The Powers had been transferred to a new generation of Rangers. Dimitria's sudden desire for them to retire, threw everyone for a loop. He'd known most of them weren't ready to give up their powers; especially Tommy. Now the choice had been taken out of their hands, and they were left feeling empty from the loss of Power. We can finally have the normal lives we've always longed for. Pretty soon we won't be teenagers anymore. He lowered his head depressed, and stirred the half melted smoothie in front of him.
He thought of all the times their enemies had captured them for one purpose or another. He believed that he was finally beginning to know how Jason and Tommy felt as leaders. It was the responsibility of the team leader not to let anyone get hurt, physically or emotionally. If that meant finding a way to attract the attention of the enemy, then so be it. It wasn't until he'd had to take up the official mantel of leader that he truly went through first Jason and then Tommy's minds.
Adam's thoughts drifted to his junior high coach telling the team captain at the time that "Son, I'm going to tell ya something about life. There's no 'I' in 'team.' The sooner you learn that the better team captain you'll be. Sometimes you have to let the other players take the risks you can't ." Adam smirked. When had soccer coaches become the great sages of the world? Then again this is the same man that said to the same captain. "No matter what goes wrong in the game. It's your fault. Even when it's not. So suck it up."
What in the world happened to you back there, Tommy? When Trey came back from talking to Dimitria and told them to leave the Power Chamber, they weren't able to come back for two weeks. And that was only because Divatox sent a monster attack. It was much weaker than most of her other attacks. Tanya guessed that Divatox had put so much energy into destroying Tommy, that it might be a while before she was going to be a serious threat again. He had to remind her not to get too confident on that theory, no matter how true it was.
He was glad that Jason's parents offered to take Tommy in after he was released from the Power Chamber. Everyone agreed that he should stay with one of them. Jason was the most logical choice after David. Jason was Tommy's brother in every way expect by blood.
David said he would have preferred Tommy move in with him, however he was a single father. No one expected to hear that. He'd never brought his son with him. Whenever David had came by to visit, his son always stayed on the reservation. When Kat asked why he hadn't told them sooner, the teen simply said no one had asked, and Sam thought Nathan, his son, should stay on the reservation until he was a bit older. He was only about fourteen months old after all.
Adam looked up when he heard the door open and saw Jason and Tommy entering the Youth Center. Adam sighed inwardly, Tommy had lost a lot of weight from his experience and still had to walk with a cane. And as many things surrounding the Power lately, Dimitria never really explained why. She never explained anything to them to the disgruntlement of them all. His eyes moved to Jason whom looked worse for wear. He was determined to make sure that Jason got enough rest tonight. He knew the other teen was running himself ragged watching over their friend. But sometimes the caregivers need to be cared after.
"Jase, I'm not an eggshell that's going to fall apart the moment you turn your back. Go home and get some rest I'll be fine on my own." Tommy spoke as the pair neared the table.
"Yesterday. . ." Jason began but Adam cut him off.
"Jason, you look worse than Tommy did when he came out of the infirmary. Go home and get some rest. If you're so concerned about somebody watching Tommy, I'll give him a lift back to your place on my way home." Adam felt Tommy's consternation.
"I don't need to be watched every second." Tommy said as he eased into a chair setting his cane against the table moping.
"When you can actually control the volume of the voices in your head I'll leave you alone." Jason said to him for the twelfth time this week. Tommy seemed as though he wanted to say something but changed his mind and remained silent.
Adam chuckled. "You two sound like my grandparents." He got simultaneous shudders for that one.
"Hey guys." Rocky said as he came up to them. "Hey, Adam." he turned to face the old married couple. " Hey Jase, Tom; how are you guys doing?"
"The usual." Jason said as he started heading for the door. "I think I'm going to take your advice Adam, I'm going to head out." He turned to Tommy. "See ya tonight. My mom's gonna have dinner ready at eight so be home by then OK?" Tommy nodded but said nothing else. He turned back around and headed out the door.
"Did you two have a fight or something?" Rocky asked Tommy.
"No, both of us are just tired. For some reason my mood's affecting Jason more than usual." Tommy said tiredly. He looked up at Rocky and knew the question that was tugging at him. "Go ahead, ask."
Rocky looked confused for a moment. "You're not reading my mind are you?"
Tommy shook his head. "This is no different than when I had to learn how to control the Red BattleZord. I swear sometimes I think most of the things Zordon put me through... put us all through was to get us ready for something. The Red BattleZord I think was his way of preparing me how to control my mind. So, to answer your question... no I really can't read minds unless I wanna give myself a three day migrane. Most of the time I just hear... static."
Rocky chewed that in his mouth for a moment. "OK." He shook his head. "So anyway. I was just speaking to Kim on my cousin's phone and she said that her plane would be in tomorrow afternoon. She tried to call you and Jason first but you guys weren't home and I told her about your parents. I was thinking we could all meet her at the airport and. . ." He stopped when Tommy suddenly went for his cane and stood up. "Er, dude? Where ya going?"
"I need some air. This place is feeling crowded." Tommy said with a strained voice.
Adam shot Rocky a look and smacked him upside the thead before turning back to Tommy. "Hang on! I'll give you a ride to the park."
Rocky looked after him. "What'd I say?" Sighing deeply he muttered to himself. "The angst wheel is in full force today isn't it?" After a moment he got up from the table and ordered some food.
Shortly after ordering his food, David walked in. "Hey David, over here." He flagged the teen over.
"Hey, what's going on?" David greeted Rocky.
"Nothin' much, bro." Rocky lowered his voice. "This past month has been one of the strangest I've ever experienced. And I've seen my share of weirdness. Bug people with crystals in their foreheads being the least of it."
David smiled. "Yeah, I know what you mean." sitting down at the table he remembered his reason for coming. "Oh yeah, I saw Tanya on my way here and she wanted me to ask you if you wanted to get together for a picnic. Since your phone is still out, she didn't get a chance to call you. She was hoping to get everyone together before the fall, a kind of private graduation party for all of us." Rocky noticed the inflection David made when came to graduation. It was a Ranger graduation party and a farewell for those moving on with their lives.
"Yeah sure; Does she have a date planned?" The other teen spoke as began eating his meal.
"Not yet. She's thinking next Saturday or Sunday but she wanted to see what everyone's schedule was like first before she made any final plans. She also mentioned something about peach cobbler." Tommy's brother knew just the right words to say to get Rocky's attention.
"Did you say. . . Peach cobbler? I'm in. Either day is fine for me." Rocky's eyes clouding over as he thought of the last time Tanya had made peach cobbler The only thing he could think of that could come anywhere close to topping that dessert was the sangria his cousin Rosita made for his uncle's wedding. It'd taken him five cups to realize that it wasn't punch. He shook off his reminiscing with effort. "I've been meaning to ask you something." David waited for him to continue. "When are you going to bring Nathen around? Come on, I know you've gotta have a picture of him in your wallet!"
"I think your fries are starting to get cold." David replied simply lamely side-stepping the question.
"What?" The teen was momentarily thrown off by the comment before he looked down at his food and noticed he'd hardly touched it. "Right. Are you going to order anything?"
"No. I still need to track down Justin and Carlos. I think they're at the soccer field next to Angel Grove High." David stood up to leave. "I'll see you around?" Rocky nodded. The other teen bade his farewell and left the Youth Center.
Rocky sat alone realizing that David hadn't answered his question before leaving. "What in the world is going on?"
"Mamma, I'm tired of waiting for that annoying former Power Puke to kick it. I thought you said. . ."Divatox would have continued on with her rant had her mother not raised her hand.
"Divatox darling, what did we learn from the former Red Ranger's dive into the Vortex?" Mamma D asked in a very sanguine voice.
"That Tommy is an even more thorn in my side than Elgar?" her daughter replied.
"Hey!" Elgar piped in but quickly fell silent at the look his relatives gave him.
"No darling. It proves our information was correct." Mamma D could see the gleam of sheer joy crossing her daughter's face.
"Porto! Get your windowed butt in here!" She bellowed.
"Yes Divatox?" The nerdy port hole looking pirate replied.
"Raid the treasure deck and hire a little going away present for those former Power Brats."
Porto's expression remained blank for a few moments before he realized who it was they were hiring. When it finally dawned on him; if he could have bugged his eyes out, he would have. "You can't be serious. That'll drain our extra spending for the next 400 years!"
"It'll be worth it be finally rid of that. . . that Halfling that ruined my wedding plans." The pirate's eye twitched in irritation.
"Well, since you put it that way." Porto immediately left. Not wanting to incur the wrath of the red clad dominatrix.
Tommy sat in Adam's car. "Hey, man. Are you OK?" Adam asked. The other teen sat with his hands covering his face unanswering. Concerned, Adam reached out to touch his arm when his friend drew in a deep breath and took his hands away from his face. It seemed as if he were trying his hardest to hold back his emotions.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm thinking of leaving for awhile. Sort a few things out." He answered without looking at Adam. "Dimitria suggested that I go to Phaedos. I could hone my skills as a Ninjetti."
Tommy's voice concerned Adam greatly. It was dead and flat. "I thought you couldn't.. well you know. Hold Powers anymore."
"The Ninjetti Powers aren't exactly Ranger Powers. They can be used as a power source for Ranger Powers, but they aren't Ranger Powers by themselves." Tommy explained. "At least that's what Dimitria told me when I asked her."
Adam was growing concerned about his friend's mood. "Are you sure you still want to go to the park? Maybe I should take you home." As soon as he said the last word he regretted it. That's what was bothering him. "I'm sorry. . . Do you want to talk about it?" He tried to sound caring without coming across as pitying his friend. That was the last thing he wanted Tommy to feel right now. Besides, maybe. . .
"No, I'm. . ." Tommy paused. Adam knew that he was about to say that he was fine; but they both knew that was far from the truth. "I thought I'd come to terms with everything in the vortex. One minute it feels like another lifetime that my parents died. And another it feels like it just happened yesterday. I'd only just started thinking of them as my parents before they died."
Tommy fell silent and Adam let the silence hang. He tried to think of something to say. Something that wouldn't sound pathetic. "Look Tommy, I know this is going to sound corny but, if you need to talk about it. We're here."
The bereaved teen set his jaw then unclenched it after a moment. His expression completely unreadable. "When I'm ready. I will."
Adam was only half satisfied with that answer. "Just don't let it eat you up inside. We care a lot about you."
Tommy did his best to smile reassuringly at his friend. "I know. And I appreciate what all you guys have done for me." Heaving a tired sigh, Tommy conceded. "I think I wore myself out more than I thought. Can you take me back to Jason's?"
Adam nodded. "Sure."
The ride to Jason's went without further conversation. Adam noticed half way there, Tommy had already fallen asleep. Once they'd gotten to the house he nudged Tommy on the shoulder. "Hey, Tommy. Wake up. We're here."
The other teen inhaled and shook his head to get rid of the sleep. "I fell asleep?" Adam nodded wordlessly. "Yeah I guess I really am tired." With Adam's help he got out of the car and to the house.
"Oh, hi Adam, Tommy you look like you're ready to fall down. Come here and sit on the couch." Mrs. Scott greeted the boys as they entered the house.
"Mrs. Scott, if you don't mind. I think I'd rather go to my room right now." Tommy asked quietly.
Patricia Scott sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you to call me 'Pat'?" without waiting for Tommy to answer she went on. "You look like you're about to fall down, dear. Do you need any help getting up the stairs?"
"No. I think I'll manage." Tommy put a little more energy into his voice to reassure her. Before making the arduous journey to the former guest room that had now become his.
Patricia guided Adam to the large couch by the window. "Adam, have a seat. Is there anything you would like to drink?"
Adam shook his head. "No, thank you. I should probably get going." He began edging toward the door.
"Can you stay for a moment? I wanted to ask you a few questions about the boys." Patricia's expression was earnest, but otherwise unreadable.
Adam debated on whether or not he should stay. He had the distinct feeling he knew what her questions would be about. "I can stay for a little bit. I'm not due back home for a few hours."
Patricia nodded and the two sat down on the couch. "In that case, are you sure there's nothing I can get you? There are a few sodas, and some cookies in the kitchen."
Adam caved in. Pat's cookies were legendary. "Sure I'll have a couple of cookies. What kind of soda do you have?"
Pat smiled. "Grape, Pepsi, and Mountain Dew. We also have Kiwi Strawberry Lemonade, 2, and Aquifina."
"I'll take the milk." Adam replied feeling like he was in grade school again.
"Good choice." Patricia left and get the milk and cookies. She returned a moment later with a plate piled with homemade chocolate chip cookies and a tall glass of milk.
"So what do you want to know?" Adam asked after biting into the scrumptious confection.
"Are you Power Rangers?"
Adam nearly chocked on the cookie. Coughing, he picked up the glass of milk and drank the glass half empty before he could say anything. "What gave you that idea?" he paused to try and collect his thoughts. "No, not to my knowledge. I don't think I really know who the Power Rangers are."
Patricia eyed him carefully. Adam had to be careful when he was around Mrs. Scott. She was a psychiatrist and most of them had been lucky that she hadn't caught on sooner. . . or maybe she had. "You're not Power Rangers? None of you? Not Jason, Tommy, Rocky, Tanya, or Kat?"
Adam answered more confidently. "No. I don't think so. I can't answer for any of the others but I know for certain Jason, Tommy and myself aren't. I've been with them when the Rangers were defending the city." So far he hadn't lied. He prayed she didn't start asking specific questions.
"So you've never been Power Rangers?" That did it. Her eyes narrowed as she studied his face. "I'm asking because of their dreams. Both Jason and Tommy have had debilitating nightmares. It's scary how insynch the nightmares seem at times, as if they're both experiencing the same exact dream." Her eyes were like blades going into Adam, searching out the truth.
Just then, Jason came down the stairs. "Hey Adam. What're you doing here?"
Adam sighed in relief. "I gave Tommy a ride back, and your mom was kind enough to give me some of her famous cookies. Tommy's sleeping off his medication."
"Yeah, I just checked on him." Jason spoke as he neared the couch.
He reached a hand toward a cookie when his mother swatted his hand away. "Did you clean your room?"
Jason deflated. "Not yet."
"Well, you know the rule. No sweets before chores." His mother said sternly.
Adam saw his opportunity to leave. "Well, I should be going. I still have a few things to do before I need to be back home. Thanks again Mrs. Scott for the cookies." He made for the door when Pat's voice stopped him.
"Hold it right there, Adam Jai Park. Jason Lee Scott, stay right where you are." The first thing that ran through Adam's mind was. So that's where Jason got the 'Leader Voice' from. "Please tell me what's going on." She asked earnestly. "I look at all of you and I see strangers. You've all grown up way too fast. Please tell me. Is it true? Are you Power Rangers?"
Tommy stared blankly at the ceiling. Every time he closed his eyes he kept imagining his parents crying out for him to save them. Whenever he got close enough to help them the Vortex pulled him back in and the torture would start again. The thing that got to him the most was the fact that he didn't wake up screaming from the most gruesome of the nightmares anymore. He woke up screaming from dreams when nothing happened. Sometimes there was nothing more terrifying than a dream where no one treated him as if he were some kind of freak to be held at arms length.
He began thinking that this reality was a new form of punishment the Vortex was throwing at him. Maybe it had learned that the torture and the nightmares weren't hurting him anymore and they'd torture him with being loved. He wouldn't give in. He wouldn't let the Vortex win. He'd prove to himself that this was reality and not the nightmare. He sat up. I wonder if I can still call on it? He concentrated for a moment and nothing happened. Guess I have to do it the old fashioned way. He got up and walked across the room and searched through one of the boxes he'd stowed away in the closet when he'd moved into the Scott's house. The hunting dagger Sam had given him after he'd been reunited with David was in there somewhere.
When he found it, he quietly went to the half bath attached to his room. He closed the door and stared at the knife. He knew what he had to do. This would prove he was still in the Vortex. He held out the bare forearm opposite the one holding the knife and made a shallow cut. It stung and blood flowed freely. For the first time in what seemed ages he felt alive again. There was pain. This was the real world. He could affect things here.
He dropped the knife; watching the trail of blood flow down his arm brought him back to the promise he'd made to a friend. A broken promise now. Covering the cut with his free hand he curled into a ball and shook as silent tears began falling.
The visage of a ghostly woman appeared behind him. Her expression was sad yet comforting if anyone could have seen her. She wrapped ghostly arms around him, his ears heard a quiet song that caused him to drift into a dreamless sleep.
Jangankan biar hilang semua yang telah diberi
Jangankan pergi rasa manusiawi dan naluri diri
Biar bumi tetap bersinar di bawah mentari
Agar kita tetap bersinar di bawah mentari ...
(bahasa indonesian - translation in chapter V
