Disclaimer: I own nothing unless what's mine. Cute, uh?
Chapter 9: Lorelai & Lorelai.
"Sweets? Do you mind coming home from wherever you are? At least long enough to tell me what was going on here..." Lorelai Gilmore Sr. glances at her daughter, who's laying on her bed, boyfriend's forgotten jean jacket clutched tightly to her, eyes closed, dreams and curly locks spilled all over her pretty features, like an impressionist painting. She looks beautiful, untroubled. She looks in love. It's a thought any mother loves and hates to have. It means acknowledging that a child is now an adult. It will mean to stand aside and watch something pretty being shattered to pieces, or made tenfold more bautiful. Still. It is a painful thing to accept.
"Huh..." There's... Nothing going on... Is there? She blinks sitting up, trying to step out of her daze, and, upon deciding that it's too much effort, resorts to revel in her reverie for a while more, needing to hang on lingering feelings. Surroundings and concerned mother completely ignored.
"Don't do that! Don't turn into Jess!" Monosyllabic, broody and smart assed. I couldn't take that. Her mother climbs on the bed next to her and pries Jess' jacket out of Rory's grasp, who in turn slits her eyes open, peers over at the bed-hogging, jacket-stealing woman and makes an attempt at sarcasm.
"We finally decided that keeping two bodies was too expensive, so now we share mine. Wanna say hi to my mom, Jess?" So there.
She yanks her the jacket out of her mother's arms and returns to clutching it.
"That was one disturbing mental image I could have gladly gone without" No, really... Lorelai frowns as to get the idea of a Jess-Rory chimera out of her mind. That is one disgusting thought...
"It's more fun that way, isn't it?" Rory smirks and rolls her eyes, giving her best Jess impersonation. Serves you right from interrupting my daydreaming.
Wow. She's gotJess down to a science. It's actually cute, in a very disturbing way...
"Who was that?" Let's tackle the less disturbing argument first. I don't know if I want to have a talk about the latest developements in sleeping arrangements. Besides, the boy's a cutie. She is genuinely curious. It isn't an everyday occurrence to walk in on a sleeping eight year old bunking in her daughter's room. For a minute there, Lorelai had been thinking of cutting back on coffee intake, sure it was starting to cause allucinations. Perish and banish the thought.
"That who?" Let me play oblivious. I didn't understand a single thing about Rhiannon, Jason, Erika, Camille or Jordan... Rory is too tired, too overwhelmed by the recent developements, that she simply isn't able to deal with it all.
There's the emotional rollercoaster.
The physical rush.
The shocking surprise.
I'll need to elaborate all that, sooner or later. Just not now...
"The couple who looks too young to have a daughter that age." Her mother isn't, obviously, reading her mind. Or taking the hint. Or whichever would be more convenient.
"Oh, she's not their daughter. I don't think she's even related to them. He's a friend of Jess. You know, from before." From the life I know almost nothing about. The life he keeps hiding, and locking me out of.
"From NYC." Oh, great. If he's anything like him, God help Star's Hollow. Who am I kidding? This, God can do nothing about...
"Yeah. I heard them mention that they haven't seen each other in a long time, and something about them being supposed to be all the way across the Atlantic..."A moment, something akin to anger sparks up, leaving her with the deep desire to strike her boyfriend with something hurtful. Jesus, Jess, why don't you talk to me already! Then she chastizes her own thoughts. He opened up to me. Maybe he'll come around to share this, whatever this might be, with me... Soon. Hopefully.
"What?" What else is there to those three?
"I don't really know... It's just... Nobody actually said anything, but they kept hinting that something big must have happened to them while they livedin NYC. Something that turned Jess into, you know... Well, Jess. I don't know anything, Mom... I'm waiting for him to come around." And I hope it's gonna be soon. There is something about Jason and Rhiannon... Something that has Jess unsettled and rattled and shaken and confused. I have the feelinghe's this close to cracking. He will need me when that happens.
This worries Rory to no end.
"So you can have another sleepover?" Kudos on introducing the disturbing argument, Lorelai. Give yourself a pat on the back and remind to ask Luke for tutoring on how to be subtle. Lorelai mentally kycks herself.
Flashback
"What's wrong?" I'm hugry Rory, so you either hurry, or I'll be chewing on your arm in about ten seconds.
"Nothing..." Something! Everything! You'll freak! You'll lock me in my room until I'm thirty! Rory's thoughts go wild. "Uhm listen..." Ok, here goes nothing. Come on Gilmore, deep breaths and take the goddamn plunge. You can do it. She's your mother. Your best friend... The one who doesn't even want to say Rory and sex in the same sentence.
"I'm listening." She fidgets. It must be something big. She never fidgets like that unless she's extremely nervous, or uncomfortable...
"When I said before that I was too busy to think about it... I realize now that I'm not too busy to think about it" She said it. It feels oddly liberating.
"Think about it" Should I worry? It... mmh... which it...
Lorelai's food deprivation is catching up to her. She can't, for the life of her, begin to understand what her daugther is talking about
"About... it" Mom! Focus! Emphasis on the 'it'. Don't make me have this conversation for longer than needed... I'll die from embarassment...
"Oh... it" Emphasis on the it. Oh... God... Definitely didn't see that one coming, Lor, praise yourself on the mothering skills, really.
"Yeah... it" What now?
"Ah... it" What now?
"Nothing's happened yet, but it might... maybe" Rory releases the breath she's been witholding, her lungs screaming for air.
"Maybe" My baby's growing up...
"Maybe... with Jess" 'Cause he just kissed me, and told me to go somewhere, and I wanted to go with him so badly... She had. She had been feeling something tying up in knots when he had trapped her in his embrace, something that held her captive and hadbraked her there for the time being.
"With Jess" Jess. Of all people. Why him? Why not wait a little more? Till, let's say... You're thirty and married?
End of Flashback
"So this is what we're talking about." Great. Just great. Maybe now she'll have the freak out she didn't have last night...
Silence settles on the pair like snoflakes settling.
"So".. about last night.
The atmosphere becomes awkard.
"So".. about last night.
"Are we stalling?" Come on, babe, talk to Mommy. I need to know what's going on so I can help you with it.
"So it seems" I'm scared you'll bend this out of shape, turn it into something ugly. And it's so important, so beautiful I don't want you to.
"You and Jess..." looked at peace last night.
"We talked. We read. We slept." He talked to me about school.
"Somehow I don't see Jess having a heart to heart over nail polish and latest hair styles." This elicits giggles from both women.
"There's a lot you don't see and don't know about Jess" He talked about his father. I told him about mine.
"After what you told me about the party, I thought you'd..." break up with him. Hurt him really badly. Or something.
"There was stuff going on, and Jess was... all messed up about it. Avoiding each other wasn't going to work... so I went to the diner but chickened out. And he came running after me. Running ! After me!" When thinking about it,it does seem a gesture asremoved from Jessas possible. Yet, again... He apologized for the past few weeks.
"He did? Doesn't seem like Jess." Hm...
"He loves me! He could have let me go away, but he stopped me!" He told me he loved me. I told him I loved him.
"Yes... wait! What did you say?" Lorelai turns to face her daughter, searching for her eyes and meeting them.
"He could have let me go away?" Rory asked.
"No. The other thing." Tell me, Rory.
"He stopped me?"Geez, it spilled right out of my mouth. So much for keeping it simple.
"Rory!"
"He told me he loves me. Actually, I said it first" There. Happy? Plese don't ruin it.
"Mmh." Well, that one was a long time coming.
"Don't make it into something it isn't" She pleads. It's something I'm afraid will break if I'm not careful with it.
"It was about time" Only, this is Jess we're talking about. Lorelai can't believe she just uttered those words. But as her eyes study her daughter's face, she almost falls over laughing. Rory's facial expression is absolutely priceless.
"What?" No, I mean... What?
"It was about time. You were the only one that didn't see it coming." Only, we're talking about the broody, sulky, monosyllabic town juvenile delinquent, and my daughter, the love-impaired. I thought they'd never get around to say anything of the sort. "Nothing happened?"
"Nothing happened. Yet." But I want it to happen. I want to know what it feels to be so close to the man you love you can't get any closer. Feel what I felt last night and this morning. Her thoughts unsettle her. What she is feeling, what she is wanting deeply unsettles her.
"No blistering hot lovemaking?" Lorelai can't help joking about this, her question halfway serious.
"Nope..." Rory rolls her eyes.
"But?"
"But? Is there a but?"
"I was totally sensing a but in your answer."
"Nope, it was completely but-less, I can assure you."
"Hey! I've given birth to you. I raised you. I've been living with you for the past 18 years. I know when there's an unspoken but at the end of your sentences. Now, tell!"
"We... cuddled. There were cuddles and cuddling involved" Huh.
"You ... cuddled. Cuddling as in hugs and pats on the head, or cuddling as in foreplay-sh, sex-inducing cuddling?" Oh God, controlling of the freak out getting harder now...
"It was more of the latter. But..." I don't regret it. Rory blushes while rememberingand Lorelai just looks at her, willing her to continue
"Jess... he... didn't push me. I wanted. I wanted him. I wanted him to..." Touch me... She blushes, remembering "And he stopped when he saw I couldn't go any further, before I even had to tell him." And it was... perfect.
"Quite the gentleman" Lorelai can't help the sarcasm, as she wraps her mind around what her daughter is telling her."Can't you be six again? Just for a while? So you'll think that boys have cooties?"
"Mom!" A little too late for that, aren't we?
"Sorry Sweets, I'm trying not to overreact here." And not being very successful, either "Do you want to go on the pill?" My baby. My little woman
Lorelai remembers when the very thought of putting Rory on birth control, or talking about the even remote possibility of her having sex seemed preposterous. She wants those days back... Or do I? But she can't help feeling relieved, for her daughter is letting her help through this; and happy, because their bond is as strong as ever, even if Rory's changing right in front of her. Day after day. But she'll never be like I was before she was born. And that is something I can be very damn proud of.
"It would be... helpful..."
"Ok."
"Ok."
"Mom? Thank you." For being the way you are, for not freaking out too much, for giving Jess and me a chance.
"Don't mention it. "
Mother and daughter lay there for a while, looking at the ceiling and holding each other. And right then, there is only the two of them. No boy trouble, no school, no work, no money... nothing of the sorts. It's just as it has always been: fast paced conversation, same blue eyes, unconventional relationship and strong, unseverable ties. It is them, Lorelai & Lorelai... Best friends first, mother and daughter second.
"So he loves you?" Lorelai's voice is playful.
"He said so..."Jess Mariano loves Rory Gilmore.
The world is ufficially home to the little green aliens coming from Mars.
Rory smiles. Right now, at that precise moment, it's just... Ok.
A/N: You know the drill. Life changing info in the bio, etc etc.Next chapter deals with Jess and Luke. More to come, more to come, stay tuned and trust me. Still not knowing what I'm doing, but trust me. M.
