Disclaimer: I don't own Megami Kouhosei, it belongs respectfully to its creator, Yukiru Sugisaki. However, Tai Kazuya and the version of Carres Gouthena used in this fanfiction do belong to a friend and myself; Tai to the friend who created him. Please have respect for my work, and the work of Sugisaki.
"So Far Away"
By: Hyan Matsuya
- Prologue -
Another impact to GOA's side sent candidates scattering for their lives. Partners clung to each other to prevent separation in the masses that were flocking to their Pro-Ings. Victim's numbers were beyond the far stretch of anyone's imagination, and many were questioning if it was ever truly worth it to protect the last planet. It was unhabitable, from what was said. The people were still remaining in the scattered colonies. So where was the absolute need to protect it anymore?
Tai didn't question it, that wasn't his reason for coming to such a place. All he wanted was to pilot the White Ingrid, become the best of the best, and maybe even surpass his own expectations. The only thing was training had been taking forever, and they barely touched the training the Pro-Ings. And now, in the spur of the moment, he was clenching tightly onto his repairer's hand and directing her toward the hanger. One might think that if Tai had half the brain he claimed, he would stay away from the battlefield with the little live field training he had.
He just had to get to that Pro-Ing of his.
His grip was slipping on Yuna's hand, flashing a glance back at her before reaching toward her and taking a firm grasp on the collar of her jacket. A slight smile came to his face as he examined the slightly startled look on her face.
"I'm not going to lose you, I promise," he whispered next to her ear as he pulled her forward through the crowd.
She gave a nod of her head as he gently pushed her on forward through the crowd, hands and elbows nudging him in the face and sides. He was still pushing against her back when she halted herself behind dozens of stationary candidates. Stopping, he peered over his repairer's head to see what the commotion was about.
"Wait here."
Patting Yuna on the shoulder gently, he began to badger his way through the mass toward the hanger door. Squeeze back just before reaching the Instructors that were blocking the hanger, he planted his hands on the shoulders of two candidates and hoisted himself up to see. Groaning, he lifted himself up more to the point that he settled his feet on their shoulders and lunged forward, making contact with the wall and sliding down beside an Instructor.
"Just return to your rooms, you'll be safer there." Instructor Matsukati, the repairer candidate Instructor, waved off someone the complaining students.
"Go back to your damn rooms. The candidates needed have already been dispatched from the hanger. You'll only get in the way," Azuma hollered, finally gaining some silence among the restless candidates.
"You're not needed now, we'll call for you when we do." Another Instructor began to push the candidates back, who eventually all began to return to their rooms peacefully, yet with angered mumbled beneath their breath.
Tai, however, didn't shift from his spot against the wall, not until his partner placed a hand on his shoulder and motioned her head toward the hallway to the relaxation room. A sigh passed by his pursed lips as he started in that direction. If there was anything he hated more than not being a pilot, it was the waiting to be sent out. Though he knew his chances were slim, only having been on GOA for two and a half months. He would more than likely be last to call.
Yuna tried to smile for her partner's sake, but to her dismay he was hardly paying attention to anything other than the endless thoughts that ran through his mind. He tended to be open to her. Despite the little time that they were partners, they trusted each other more than most of the pairings that had already gone through a year or two of their training. For some reason, she didn't feel that she had anything to do with the quick growth of trust between them. She didn't feel much for that matter. No pain, no happiness, no sorrow.
Only unworthiness.
Unworthy of his trust and the opportunity to be his partner. All she did was support him in his training and live field training. Emotional support was something she was failing at, and how he was remaining as cheerful as the day he arrived was beyond her comprehension. He had been friendly, open and honest to an extreme fault. Why had she been the one paired with him? Was grading their only way of pairing people together?
"Number 57, where do you think you're going?"
Tai came to an abrupt halt in front of Yuna, causing her to collide with his backside. As she peeled herself away from him, he bolted around her and stood before Instructor Hijikata. Salute and all as he was taught, he stood bolt upright with his hands at his sides. For an awkward reason, a churning feeling stirred in his gut. One that usually meant something bad, but he pushed it to the depths of his mind.
"Sir, just heading to the relaxation room," he responded as Yuna came to stand beside him.
He was in trouble, he could tell. The only reason an Instructor ever called him over to the side outside of training was to punish him for something he evidently forgot about. Yet as Azuma's face lightened up from its stern expression, Tai began to relax a bit. But only a bit.
"Get into that hanger, 57."
"Sir?" Tai quirked an eyebrow, a little confused by the order he was just given.
"Don't question me, you wretch! Get going!" the Instructor yelled, stepping to the side and pointing toward the now open hanger.
A grin smeared itself across Tai's expression, and without another word of protest or question, he bolted for the hanger. Waving a hand toward Yuna, he gave her a thumbs up and disappeared behind the closing door. Sighing, Yuna couldn't help but smile at the excitement her partner was going through, following Instructor Matsukati into the area where the other repairers were.
"Just remain in your designated spot and you won't have to do much, Tai," Yuna spoke calmly through the communications link that was established between the two of them.
"Yeah, yeah. I know," he replied, half asleep from having sat out in space for the last thirty-seven minutes waiting for something to happen.
Thousands upon thousands of Victim, and not one had slipped through the shield that the Goddesses had created around them. Though his training was limited compared to the other candidates around him, especially the Senior Candidates, he had gone through quick recapping with Instructor Azuma over the communications link. He was certain that it still wasn't enough, so he was forced to remain in a stationary location and shoot from there.
Even the slightest bit of help was good, as he recalled overhearing the Goddess pilots months ago when they did their annual visit to GOA upon the arrival of the new recruits. Resting back as much as he could, his heavy eyelids slid down to cover his mocha stained hues, tresses of light brown floating loosely about his head. Just how long are they going to keep us out here? he questioned in his mind. It was beginning to seem like eternity.
Deep breaths in and out, and Tai was on the brink of falling asleep. He was needed out here, wasn't he? Why else would the instructor want him out on the field and not the others?
Then he sprang to full consciousness at the sound of the shrill shriek of a Victim. Several of the candidates were blanketing the rogue Victim with constant fire until its pathway was clear – a direct path to the left side of GOA. In his panic, Tai shifted his Pro-Ing wrong, frustrating himself even more before Yuna began to send redirecting directions his way.
Once redirected, the kamikaze Victim was out of his sight, but only for a mere moment until he saw the barricade line-up of Pro-Ings; one a Senior Candidate from what Tai could make out. Gaining full control of his Pro-Ing again, Tai made a hurried path toward the others. Only until his communications link picked up several others.
"Three others are coming!" one repairer spoke out to her partner.
"Redirect your fire three clicks east," another commanded.
"Link up other Pro-Ings," a pilot candidate shouted out to other Pro-Ings in the immediate area.
"Fire!"
"Not yet. They're not in good range."
"The Pilots better be grateful to us," another candidate snickered across the entire open communication link between the Pro-Ings.
"They will, and they won't forget us either" one snapped back with sarcasm.
Covering his ears with his hands, Tai removed his scanner, his Pro-Ing becoming immobile and dead in space. Sure, he was optimistic and open about the truth, but he just wasn't ready to die yet. He couldn't understand how these candidates were ready to give it all up, and their repairers standing strong behind their decision. In those moments, he was beginning to question his strength, his will, his right to even call himself a pilot candidate.
Tears began to streak their way down his pale cheeks as he collapsed to his knees, arms wrapped about himself as he rocked gently. He couldn't watch them die like that, they had chances, opportunities, and they were going to let them be washed away in one explosion. One line of multiple deaths to protect others. Was that the meaning of being a pilot? Giving your life so others could survive?
He missed that part in the welcoming speech.
"Tai?" Yuna's calm voice came to his ears. "Back away, Tai. You don't have to do it."
". . . They'll die, Yuna."
"It's their choice," she reassured him. "And you have your choice."
Placing the scanner back on his head where it belonged, the Pro-Ing became functional again. His hand came up to wipe his cheeks dry. She was right, it was their choice, and he would respect it. He, himself, was just not ready to die yet. He would hold up their memory to the best of his ability. He'd make everyone remember if it came down to that.
The long link of communication between all the candidates had ended, yet one remained open. It was a link between a Senior Candidate and his repairer. For some reason, it caught Tai's attention and he couldn't resist. Taking deep breaths to calm himself, he listened in. If a Senior was willing to die, then that would surely inspire the others around him.
"The Goddesses wiped out two of the four, Force. You only need to wipe out the other two," his repairer conveyed to him the data she had just received.
"Good, these newbies shouldn't have such a hard time with one if I take out the other."
He's cocky, Tai spoke to himself in his mind, giving a shake of his head as he listened just a little more.
"Just be careful, you have to come back."
"Hmph, why'd they send me out if they didn't want me dead?" he snapped back before shifting himself, leaving the link open.
Those brown eyes of Tai's singled out the Senior's Pro-Ing, watching it launch off forward toward one of the oncoming Victim, others preparing to shoot down the other. Everything happened quickly before his eyes. Too quick for him to grasp it all at the exact moment. The first Victim exploded, giving cover for the second Victim to get a good chance to pass the other Pro-Ings and make contact with GOA. Yet that wasn't the only thing that began to stir panic among the other candidates in the barricade.
The Senior was nowhere on their radars, or the repairers' screens.
A scream came across the communications link, and immediately Tai knew that was the Senior's repairer. It was at that moment he knew the Senior was gone for good, and started to panic himself. So now what where those candidates supposed to do without a leveled, yet cocky, head to keep them cool and on task? He couldn't take over, he could barely maneuver his own Pro-Ing. His jaw dropped as he watched the others start to scatter and blanket the now seen Victim with fire.
"It's too close to GOA, you fools!" Tai yelled as he watched some of the fire blanket the left side of GOA where the repairers were, and the Victim soon made impact with it.
The force of the explosion wiped out several of the nearby Pro-Ings, and sent Tai hurling back into space toward the last planet, Zion. The scene played through his mind with his eyelids tightly scrunched shut. His ears were ringing endlessly, his hands tightly clasped around them. The ringing was immense, and he was near ready to pass out from it. From the final scream he heard ring loud and clear across the communications link that only he had.
Yuna's.
