Title: Strange Fruits

Authors: Manetsu and Pyro(Pairo)(Angel of Reincarnation)

Date: 01-30-05

Summary: Roy teaches Ed to draw. Sort of. (Dialogue only)

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Implied Roy x Ed

Warning: Um… Implied Roy x Ed? Fruit? General 3 am insanity and bad humor?

(Pyro: who says it's bad!)

Disclaimer: (Pyro) We don't really own FMA, but Pyro-chan does own a LOT of the fruit jokes. . (Manetsu) Shoot me. TT.TT

Notes: (Pyro) Proper intros are evil, dammit.

Music: (Manetsu) KOTOKO – love a riddle (Pyro) Dir En Grey – Filth


"Okay, so here's the deal. You. Suck. At. Drawing."

"Thank you."

"So. Let's start with a still life. Now draw my banana."

"Your . . . what . . . now?"

"My banana. Draw my fucking banana."

"Um . . . you sure? I mean, isn't this supposed to be still life? Can you keep it from moving?"

"Of course, it's just a banana."

"But . . . ah . . . it's kinda moving on it's own."

" . . . Dammit, Fullmetal."


"Okay, so you can't handle the banana—"

"Says who?"

"SO, we will do apples. It's more round. Like balls. Or circles. You can draw circles, Fullmetal. Now draw me some balls."
"Um . . . don't you have some?"

" . . . Dammit, Fullmetal."


"Move it up so I can get on the bed!"

"Oh, c'mon, it's not that big."

"Yes it is!"

"Where should I put it then!"

"On the floor, where else?"

"But it doesn't want to go on the floor!"

"Are you talking to it!"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"No! That's not normal!"

"Says who?"

"Me."

"And you're real normal."

"Shut up and move it."

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because you're in charge of it!"

"C'mon, it'll move itself."

"Will it, now?"

"Yes."

"Just move the damn dog."

" . . . Dammit, Fullmetal."


"Catch, Fullmetal."

"Wha- Hey! Don't throw that!"

"That's what the bed's for, Fullmetal."

"Ugh-it's hard!"

"Too bad. It's not for eating anyway."

"I bet yours isn't hard."

"Wanna feel?"

" . . .It's soft and fuzzy! No fair!"

"Soft, is it? Let me feel yours."
"See, it's hard as a rock."

"Yeah, pretty hard. But I've got harder."

"Ouch; that is hard. You aren't very good at picking out peaches."

" . . . Dammit, Fullmetal."


next morning-


" . . .Where's the whipped cream?"

"Hn…"

"No, really, where'd you put it?"

"Mff . . ."

"… I think I found it. Move your leg. It's in there."

"H-Gyah! What-!"

"It's in your pants."

"Fullmetal…"

"Got it."

" . . .Dammit, Fullmetal!"


two weeks later-


"Fullmetal, just do the stupid nuts."

"But they're small!"

"Fullmetal…"

"So you're saying I'm the size of an nut and not worth your attention!"

"…"

"Oh… shit."

"You set yourself up for that."

"You're not much bigger."

" . . . Dammit, Fullmetal."


four weeks later-


"What the- Fullmetal, did you order this dress and make-up!"

"No."

"It says . . . WHY IS MY NAME ON THE BOX!"

"Oooooh, coconut lip gloss. Put some on."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"


next day-


"No."

"Please?"

" . . . Fine, just don't bother me again. And this is only because somebody used up all my chapstick."

" 'Coconut Sparkles . . . sure to attract boys, last through kissing and make kissing more pleasurable with coconut flavor!' Scary. Looks nice."

" . . . Dammit, Fullmetal. I reall-mmmmphh . . . wha . . .what?"

"Just checking. All three were right by the way. Really does look nice, too. Got a train to catch. Bye bye, coconut man."

" . . . damn . . .Edward . . . "


Proper endings are evil, dammit. Pyro-chan is proud of ending. Slightly OOC, sure, but c'mon. (Manetsu: MY EYES!) For the record, she actually thought it was really funny. At least I didn't do the pineapple. BWAHAHAHAHAHA. Ahem. R&R.