Disclaimer: I don't own Megami Kouhosei, it belongs respectfully to its creator, Yukiru Sugisaki. However, Tai Kazuya and the version of Carres Gouthena used in this fanfiction do belong to a friend and myself; Tai to the friend who created him. Please have respect for my work, and the work of Sugisaki.
"So Far Away"
By: Hyan Matsuya
- Chapter One -
The artificial landscaping of the relaxation room was soothing to a wear soul. Even though the breeze was far from being natural, it was closer than anything in a colony. That was the thought trailing through Tai's mind. Maybe Zion was similar, or close to it. Even better perhaps. Yet he was sure that he would never make it there to find that out for himself. Reflecting on everything, he was certain he would perish before ever completing his three years of training. He began to believe he wouldn't be on GOA much longer at that.
His repairer was gone, and he would never be able to complete his training without one. Many of the singled out candidates had returned to their colonies. Pilot and repairer candidates alike were without their partners, so there was no reason for them to attempt to complete their training. Some were attempting new partners, knowing they would never be able to adjust. It would be impossible for Tai, he could never adjust himself as quickly as he did upon his arrival.
"How long as it been, Tai?" an obnoxious voice spoke out beside Tai.
His vision shifted to gaze upon the one who spoke to him. He took in the sights of a black haired candidate, a pair of cold blue eyes staring directly at him. A childish grin played on this pilot candidate's face as he sat himself beside Tai. He made the best effort to smile and welcome his fellow candidate, but Tai's face remained blank.
"Not long enough to forget Yuna, huh?" The question shook Tai into anger, but he held back. "So it's only been three months, and you're still like a damn lump on a fucking log, man."
"Fuck off," Tai spat, pushing against the ground to get up to his feet.
"Meow! Aren't we sensitive to the subject, lately." He leaned back, propper up on his elbows as he watched Tai carefully. "You need to forget and get a new repairer. It's easier than you think."
Tai grunted violently, crossing his arms over his chest as his friend went on. "There was no way that you two were close enough for you to have to mourn and be isolated this long . . ."
Silence lingered between the two for several minutes. If it were someone else questioning him this way, he wouldn't have been so hesitant to snap. The subject had already been discussed between the two of them. Each had decided that they were going to do the things they best way for themselves. So why the matter was being pushed on again was something Tai was not expecting. Yet it wasn't worth the argument, but he had to let his fellow candidate know his place and his decision.
"Shonen . . . Just shut up. You're not helping me with this all." He turned toward Shonen, his hands at his sides and his face stern, his mocha stained hues cold and full of sorrow. "Just because you can move on with your new repairer doesn't mean the same for me. Drop the subject. I'm not getting a new repairer. Not now, and not in the future. I'll become a pilot . . . Without a repairer. Just as the current pilot of Ernn Laties did . . . I'll show you, Shonen. You just watch."
A chuckle came from Shonen as he laid back on the ground, his hands clenching his stomach as he broke out into near tears from laughter. A confused and bewildered look twisted upon Tai's expression. It took Shonen several moments before his laughing mockery of Tai ended. A huff of disbelief was emitted from his throat as he got himself up to his feet and stood beside Tai, ready to place a hand on his shoulder until he saw the look on his friend's face. Expression blank, empty. Like his soul was no longer there. But his eyes told it all, just as they always did.
Channeling his emotions into words had never worked unless it was sheer rage and anger. But even if he could never speak out what he felt, he couldn't hide it either. His brown eyes were like the open pages of a book, the wording in the pages easy to understand even by someone without any common sense. They were so plain. Yet behind it all, they had become nothing more than something to project complicated emotions. Ones he would never speak of, even on his deathbed.
Whenever he was acting like that it pissed Shonen off to the point he wanted to knock some sense into the guy. It was almost on a daily basis, too. He was tired of being around a guy who had to complicate things by thinking into them too deeply. Getting himself into things that had nothing to do with the original subject at hand. Gritting his teeth and clenching his fist tightly, he took a step forward, bringing his tighened hand up quickly to lay a hard punch to Tai's lower jaw. Huffing as he stood there, he stared down at his friend kneeling on the ground gripping his jaw in pain.
The blow had taken Tai by complete surprise. He shifted his jaw in pain, a crimson fluid running down his chin. How he was going to react was unseen until he swiped two fingers across his mouth and gazed at the blood on them. Releasing a yell of anger, he flung himself forward, wrapping around Shonen's legs and wrenching him to the ground. Another second, and he was sitting on the unsuspecting candidate's stomach, hammering his friend in the face with punch after brutal punch. There was no mercy in Tai's violent hits, each one fueled with rage from something Shonen said; now or at the beginning. It didn't seem to matter anymore.
Months of pain and anguish all being released within a few moments and dozens of rough punches. Tai wanted to keep going until his mind was blank, and with each hit, Shonen's face was showing more results. It was hard for him to move. Each blow stunned him and Tai's knees had his arms pinned. It was unusual, though Tai had beaten Shonen in training many times, and it hurt like hell, this was worse. It was on a personal level and had immense emotion put behind each punch that was thrown.
Then it stopped. Sudden and without a real sign why. The echo of a snapping tree branch faded, pieces of wood falling all over Tai and Shonen. The larger remain of a thick branch fell to their side. Letting out a moan of sheer pain, Tai's body became limp and fell over and down the incline of the small hill they were on. Tai's vision blurred, the vague semblance of two candidates walking his way. A foot made contact with his side, and then again and again. He flet himself being jerked up by the collar of his uniform, face-to-face with Shonen. He couldn't make out the other candidate behind Shonen's head, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.
"You'll regret this, Tai," Shonen spoke out clearly, but it was all hazed to the candidate before his eyes.
As he felt himself falling backwards, everything went black and Tai passed out.
The bright light blinded Tai as he struggled to open his eyes, his whole body numb but still there. He forced his hand up into the air only to have it come crashing down against his forehead with a thud. A loud swear passed his lips. A rude awakening, as he thought to himself. His yell attracted the attention of several people outside the closed door to his room, whether he knew it or not. He struggled to get his hand in the air again, but it just remained embedded against his eye, the whole arm tingling as were the rest of his body. What a condition he was in, and he was certain he wasn't even conscious for more of what happened. Joy.
Letting out a sigh, he slowly began to regain thoughts of what went on. The fight and him blacking out. That was it. Nothing more. Yeah, knowing Shonen like he did, he was certain he got a good beating while he was out of it. Shonen would never pass up an opportunity like that one no matter what. His first real hand-to-hand brawl with anyone on GOA. What a mark that would make on his record. He had a right, he was pushed into it. That was how he saw it anyhow.
One click and then three seconds later another click.
The door had opened and closed, and someone had entered the room. Tai tilted his head in the door's direction, his right eye covered by his hand but his left fully capable of seeing clearly. Blonde hair seemed to reflect the lights of the infirmary room right back at Tai. He tightly scrunched his eyes almost shut to be able to see perfectly and without being blinded. The familiar coloring of the standardized GOA repairer candidate uniform caused him to widen his eyes. His jaw dropped, even if he couldn't feel it.
"Yuna!" he called out to the repairer, practically flinging his numb self out of the bed only to drop back into it like the dead weight that he apparently was.
"No." The voice was calm, not scolding or demanding. Gentle yet stern. The sound of a chair scratching the floor echoed in the small room and came to a stop as the repairer sat down silently within the chair beside Tai's bed.
A transparent green clipboard was held tightly within the repairer's pale hands, white papers clipped tightly onto the board with a pen hanging off the clip by a small metal chain. Like the majority of the repairer candidates, she had the yellow shirt and the blue jacket with the pink straps and GOA identification card clipped to the left strap. But unlike the other repairers, she didn't have the standard blue pants. Rather, she had a blue skirt that dropped to mid-thigh.
A senior repairer candidate.
Had to be, they were the ones given the choice between the skirt and the pants. This wasn't pleasing Tai one bit at the moment. Why in the world would a senior candidate want to come and see him? He hadn't done anything to catch the attention of one. But then he noticed the slight modification to her identification card. At the bottom of the white card with black writing, there was yellow highlighted black writing that noted she was now part of the medical staff. What was the reason for that?
Feeling started to return to his body as she looked over the papers she had in her possession. They had to be Tai's medical records, or the injury analysis from earlier. Earlier, or days before? Exactly how long had he been laying in that bed, his body numb and totally dead to the world around him? Tai wasn't sure that he wanted an answer to that.
"Three days."
"What?" Tai choked out, able to sit himself up with his back against the wall and the pillow behind him. It hurt, his back that was. What the hell had happened?
"You've been here three days," the repairer repeated as she let the papers trickle from her in between her fingers before resting the clipboard against her knees.
She went on to tell him the extent of his injuries, how the instructors had found him beaten to a bloody pulp in the relaxation room, and just how long he was expected to remain within the infirmary. That she was the one assigned to make sure that he healed properly and was returned to his training only when she was absolutely certain that he was ready to resume it. Which, in her mind, didn't appear to be any time soon.
"Did they get Shonen?" he asked her.
"Who?" She raised an eyebrow, setting the clipboard down on the floor by her feet and folding her hands neatly in her lap. Wow, they really went all out in training the staff to be polite. Or was it natural for her? Tai wasn't sure.
"Shonen . . . He's the one who beat me. Him and some other candidate . . . Who I couldn't make out."
The solemn shake of her head wasn't didn't at all console him. He gritted his teeth and balled his fist up tightly, bringing it down with a great force on the side of the bed. A sharp pain jolted through his arm and to his lower back. He let out a holler of pain and the repairer jerked from her seat and stretched her arm out for his back and her other one for his arm. Her own hand wrapped tightly around his, two fingers from her hand that went for his back pressed tightly on a point near his spine.
The pain stopped, and so did his hollering.
His mocha hues looked at her face right in front of his and she wasn't even looking at him for the moment. Kneeling on the bed beside him, she released his hand and sat back a bit from him; her fingers still firmly pressed against his backside. Tai didn't know what she had done, or what she was doing, but he was grateful that the pain was gone. He noted not to do that again. Especially if this repairer wasn't in the room.
A sigh passed her lips as she tipped her head down a bit. Five minutes of silence had passed and Tai just kept his eyes locked at the white bed sheet that covered his legs. His gaze jerked up to the door, as did the repairer's when it was open. One of the lower ranking nurses peered into the room once the door was fully open, standing in the doorway.
"We have a bloody candidate straight from the Pro-Ing field . . . Dr. Rill wants you right away," and with that said, the nurse left and the door remained open.
The repairer nodded her head after the nurse was gone and looked back at Tai before taking her hand away. Slipping back off the bed, she knelt down to pick the transparent clipboard. Taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it as she stood upright, she took a glance at Tai over her shoulder.
"Don't cause yourself anymore pain." Giving a gentle smile toward Tai, she headed straight for the door and disappeared behind it as it closed and blocked Tai's view.
