Disclaimer – Card Captor Sakura belongs to Clamp!


One: Arrival of Darkness

Life is forever depressing. The never-ending cycle of bitter tears and the painful squeeze of a deadened heart without love. What is love? Most say that it is a feeling constantly overrated, and now….

I am inclined to agree heartily with them.

So painful.

So lost.

Lost lost lost…lost forever.

Gone.


It doesn't have to be this way.

'Why?'

I don't know.

'It hurts.'

It does.

'Why?'

I don't know.

'It's cold'

I happen to agree. Freezing.

'Why?'

I don't know.

'There is nothing in this world.'

No. Never. I know. Must you ask why?

'…Yes.'

Well, let me. Why?

'…I don't know.'


'Yes, exactly.' Bitter thoughts invaded her usually discreet and silent mind. 'Why?' This never happened. It was…different. These feelings were surprisingly foreign to her unforgivably practical mind.

But she was never one to ponder on such a mundane subject for long.

'I'm half used to it anyway…doesn't matter anymore…' Her mind automatically wiped itself blank as she trained her thoughts away. A thousand miles away…

To a certain castle in England…

To a certain person sitting on the throne…

To looking forward to the warm gush of blood just beyond her reach…

To kill.


You know how it is when the skies are clear with the occasional cloud, the trees swaying in tempo with the wind, the sakura blossoms swirling, flying, twining in your hair…that is what they call a 'beautiful spring day.' But in actuality, the phrase is meaningless, and absurdly hollow.

It's that feeling, you know?

That feeling of confusion.

Loneliness.

Bit lost…

That's the feeling that gets to you.

Her heart belonged somewhere. Try as she might, there was no way to force even her mind into denial. London. Her first home, second house. Or mansion, more like. She remembered the first time he brought her there. It was a dark night, showering sheets of rain and the wind almost blew her four-year-old lithe body away. But she fell in love with the interior at once.

It was brightly lit with a cheerful Nakuru waiting with cookies and hot chocolate, drying her off. The décor had an elegance only to be seen in the Victorian age. It was obviously quite an old house. An immense four stories, two libraries and numerous rooms. He, however, decorated her room personally. Completely modern, consisting only of the purest whites and silver metallic blacks.

She had gasped in delight in seeing it.

She never thought he would keep her locked in here.


Float away with the destructiveness of it all…just to fall, fall, fall…fall into the swirling, whirling, spinning abyss of darkness…to pitch down into a bottomless pit…to die…to finally reach the end only to discover…

That there is no end…

That there never will be an end…

That the darkness lives on…forever.

It came again.


Enough!

She's endured this long enough. It's time to go.

"Eriol! Eriol, let me out! NOW! ERIOL!"

The only response she received was a light chuckling on the other side of the intricately carved mahogany door. And a voice telling her, gently, to be patient.

Damn him.


He brushed back her hair, pushing it tenderly from her face and behind her ears. Then steered her toward the full-length mirror so she could view her own appearance.

"See, now that wasn't that bad, was it? And you're so beautiful now…"

She pouted.

He only laughed, and kissed her gently on the cheek, hugging her lightly.

"Come now, don't be a brat. If you don't like the clothes I picked out for you, ask Nakuru to pick out another one, though she'd probably go in for something overly cute…do you like that, Sakura? Hmm…I've always thought of you as my pretty little tomboy, but…"

"No! I'm fine. Thank you."

Again, the laughter.

She hated it when he laughed at her. He never took her seriously, treating her like his favorite doll. When she was finally let out of that accursed room, he had insisted on pampering her like a pet. A dog, or perhaps a cat. He also made her promise to behave and not go kill everyone in sight because of her anger. She threw a punch at him.

He beat her up within an inch of her life.

Damn that hurt.

But she should've known better. Training with Eriol always ended with her half-dead and he not even out of breath, his cobalt eyes cool and calculating behind those surprisingly clear glasses.

It always seemed as he knew everything. She wouldn't be surprised if he did.

But, despite everything, she knew that she'd miss him. He was her stronghold, the only one she could depend everything on and trust. The one who had brought her up and taught her everything she had wanted and needed to know and more.

The only one who loved her.

And now she was leaving him, for the very first time.

"Eriol…"

She turned abruptly and clung to him tightly. It's been a decade since she's wanted to cry, but the idea seemed so tempting now. She was angry before that he wouldn't let her go see Syaoran, but now that it's time to leave, she wasn't sure she was ready. He had, after all, sheltered her from the world for so many years…

"Shh…" He put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "There's nothing to be scared of, Saku-chan…everything will turn out alright. Besides, weren't you the one who wanted so desperately to see him? I'm giving you a chance today…don't screw it up." He suddenly turned serious and pushed her away slightly to look her dead in the eyes. "I want everything to be perfect. No mistakes. Remember what we've gone through. One mistake will reveal who you are and ultimately kill you. Get in, get the stone, and get out. Understand? Make sure you don't get killed, or worse, have your identity revealed."

"Yes, Eriol…you'll be watching, right?"

"Of course. After all, if you don't succeed, I'll have to kill you immediately."

She froze. He was serious? She thought that this was only a trial! He wouldn't really…would he? No. No, she was sure that he wouldn't. After all, he loved her. Still, she didn't want to make any mistakes. His punishment and displeasure was almost worse than death. She could still remember the day they decided to experiment with death…it was horrible and cold, just like her dreams…but he was there to guide her through.

His punishments hurt worse though. A LOT worse. Something she hoped she would not have to endure tonight.

He turned away, heading for the door. One hand on the doorknob, he hesitated and faced her.

"By the way, have a great time. I'm sure it'll be fun." Sadistic smirk turned on full blast.

Damn him.


So this was a high school.

How queer.

She stood in front of the intimidating edifice, watching quietly as the students emptied the courtyard she was standing on, listening to the school bell toll, once, twice, three times…She sniffed delicately. So much dirtiness…depression and anger, nervousness and anguish. But there were happiness here too…a strange form that she did not understand at first, but upon closer inspection, she realized it for what it was.

The joy of companionship…something she had little chance to experience.

But no matter. Now that she was here, she'll be sure to take full advantage of that.

She looked up as a hawk circled the bell tower. A sudden strong gust of wind picked up her hair and toyed with it absently, making her skirt swirl almost indecently. She straightened up brusquely, eyes hardening in her resolve, emeralds darkening to match the waves of the sea.

She took in a big breath.

Time to see Syaoran.

Time to get one step closer.

One step closer to England.

One step closer to her prey…

Once upon a time…


Psychic Neko:

GOMEN! I'm sooo sorry! I know it's been a looongg time….I just couldn't figure out what to write. And there isn't really anything happening in this chapter, you just find out who the first 'he' is from last chapter…ahah I'm a total Eriol fan…I don't support Eriol/Sakura of course, that would be just WEIRD…but I don't quite like the tomoyo or kaho pairing either…cause I luv them both so much…it'll be like betraying them! Lol. So yea…eriol's just kawaii!

And Saku-chan is going to see Syao-chan soon! those two are just too cute…

LinziiC: OMG THANKS SOOO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! Lol I was soo excited…it was my very first review! thanks so much. I haven't really told any of my friends that I was writing it…cause…iono personally I think my writing is really bad…--…but you give me confidence! THANKS SO MUCH!

Yea I know it's kinda confusing…it's supposed to be though. Partly it's because I like things to be mysterious and intriguing in the beginning…and partly because I have no idea what's really going to happen, but it's probably going to be very longg…a very very long fic……

ZiYu the Dragon: THANK YOU! Lol yea this is my first attempt…is it so obvious? Or did I say that somewhere…--…ahahh…I'm not quite sure how I should write these things, even though I've read so many of them…and though I'm writing ccs, I'm actually more of an inuyasha fan. Hehh…SESSHOUMARU/KAGOME RULES! Bwahh LOL.

Iono…do I express the characters too deeply? It's like, whenever I read manga, I always imagine how they would be feeling on the inside, not just what the book says. So basically when I reflect upon the manga, each time is slightly different depending on my mood…--…thanks again! It's really appreciated!