Author's Note and Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom...'nough said. I realize that this story has not been updated for a very, very, very long time...but school and life has been demanding, alas. But sicne this is not a highly reviewed story, tis ok. This chapter is dedicated to my reviewers, and I thank you for your reviews...each and every one. With summer coming soon, I hope to update much more often.

Enjoy !

Chapter Four: With Those Who Grieve In Silence

Christine and Raoul spent quite a lot of time in each other's company over the next few weeks, and each time they discovered that they had more and more in common. Like Christine, Raoul had lost both of his parents fairly young. And both of them missed their fathers terribly, while at the same time regretting that they knew so little of their mothers.

But while Christine had no siblings, Raoul had a much bigger family. He had an older brother, Philippe, who was married, and a younger sister named Meg who was engaged. He loved his siblings very much and would often entertain Christine with stories of the time they spent together in their youth. And Christine would entertain Raoul with stories about her father, and occasionally Erik.

Christine told Raoul about Erik after they had been enjoying a lovely dinner in a quiet French restaurant near the docks. It had been exactly two months to the day since Erik had left her.

Christine told him everything…how he was her best friend, her confidante, and her keeper. Christine knew that her father had left her well being to Erik when he died, having told the young man that he knew he would always take care of her. But her father had been very wrong.

Raoul didn't push for any explanation, nor had he ever asked her to speak about her emotions concerning him. But Christine, wanting to be entirely honest with him, revealed all. When she was finished, she was in tears, and Raoul quickly paid so they could exit the restaurant.

Once outside, Christine let the tears fall freely, although she remained oddly quiet about it. There was no sobbing, no hysterics, and no hiccupping. Raoul did the best he could to soothe her, holding her and brushing away locks of her that had fallen forward to cover her face like a gossamer curtain.

When Christine had finished, she wiped her face with a handkerchief. She apologized to Raoul for looking like a fool and behaving most unladylike, but he wouldn't hear of it. He assured her that he was glad she'd told him, and that he thought Erik was a fool for pushing her away when she had only the best intentions.

That night, after Raoul had escorted Christine to her door, she wrote another entry in her diary.

Dearest Diary,

It has been exactly two months to the day since Erik left me. So many things here have changed since he left that I almost wish I'd never known him. But when I think these things, they are immediately followed by immense feelings of guilt and betrayal. Despite the fact that he left me, I cannot stay angry with him, because although he has done many bad things since the accident, they are not enough to make me forget all the good he has done me as well. Before the accident, he was always there for me, regardless of what it was I needed. No matter what I would have asked of him, he would have done it without complaint.

When it comes to Erik, my feelings are the farthest thing from simple. Which is odd, because my feelings for Raoul are just as complicated. Raoul is a dear friend, and a woman like me couldn't ask for more, but I find that although I love him very much, it is not with the same depth that I love Erik. Nor is it as passionate or hateful. I feel I do not deserve him or his unfailing kindness. I shall never forget what he has done for me as long as I live. He has helped my heart to heal about as much as it ever will. And a lesser man could not have done such a thing.

Truthfully yours,

Christine

Christine closed her eyes, and as she drifted off to sleep, her last thoughts were of Raoul for the first time, and not of Erik.

Christine awoke the next morning to the sound of Mama Valerius calling to her to come downstairs. Since it sounded rather urgent, she quickly threw on a robe and sprinted down the stairs until she reached the parlor below. She quickly noticed why Mama Valerius had called to her so quickly…there was a messenger there with a letter for her from Erik.

Christine felt as if the dam she had so carefully constructed around her heart was about to burst from all of the emotions reeling around in her head at the sight of Erik's elegant script. She quickly tore open the letter and raced back to the reading room, barely noticing that she had set herself down on a chair to read.

Dearest Christine,

I arrived in Paris almost a fortnight ago only to be shocked at how different it is from Marseilles. It is true that Marseilles is no little town, but Paris is so different. The streets are more crowded, the smells so different that if you were here with me, Christine, you would hardly believe we were still in France !

The people here have been cordial enough, despite my deformity. There is less pity here, thank god. It isn't as suffocating as it is in Marseilles, which is what I've tried to escape from. I believe I have succeeded. I have made friends with a young Persian named Nadir and I enjoy the company of my landlady, Mme. Giry. She is a kind woman who has helped me quite a lot.

I write this to you so that you will know I have made it to Paris safely, as I promised I would. Oh Christine, how I miss you ! You were the one thing I regretted leaving behind…and you always will be. But as much as I wish you were here, I know it cannot be. You belong in Marseilles and not in the darkness with a deformed man who will spend the rest of his days hidden away from humanity until he wastes away, alone. It seems I am meant to be alone. You have always been the only one to understand…truly understand…me. Remember that if you ever need me, I am in Paris. Do not hesitate to call me if you need a favor. Ever.

All of my love,

Erik

When Raoul arrived that afternoon, Christine did not answer the door as usual. When he inquired after the events of the day, Mama Valerius informed him that Christine had received a letter from Erik, and that she had been in her room ever since.

Raoul, concerned that Christine would be upset, ventured his way upstairs and knocked softly on her door. When Christine replied "Come in." Raoul cautiously opened the door, expecting to find a very distraught young woman. Instead, he saw Christine sitting by her window, calmly watching the leaves fall from the trees, with a look of contentment across her face. Turning to face the door, Christine caught sight of Raoul, and motioned that he should join her by the window.

"What a beautiful day it is…don't you think so, Raoul ?"

"Of course…almost as beautiful as you, my darling…" Raoul replied, unsure of what to say next.

"I suppose you must be wondering why I'm not a blubbering mess, Raoul."

Shocked by her brutal honesty, Raoul shook his head, then plunged forward, no longer afraid since Christine had brought up the subject first and thus broken the ice.

"To be honest, I was quite worried, Christine. You know I care for you, and yet, I have tried not to pressure you in any way, because I know you still have feelings for Erik. I would not want you to rush into anything until you felt you were ready. So of course I expected to find you a wreck when I came up here today. I thought the letter would have upset you."

Christine smiled. Raoul was such a gentlemen, and he was always unfailingly kind, polite, and sweet. He deserved her whole heart, and after thinking for the past few hours, she had determined what she was going to do. Erik was never planning on coming back, so she would forget him. At least, forget him as much as was possible. She would cut him out of her life and begin again with Raoul. Raoul deserved her whole heart, and she deserved not to be stuck for the rest of her life, pining away over a love that cared very little for her. Despite the protests otherwise in his letters, Christine knew that if Erik really cared, he would not have left so suddenly. Releasing a sigh, she took Raoul's hand, and looked directly into his eyes.

"I will not lie to you, Raoul. I did love Erik very much. And part of me probably always will. But that love has faded with Erik's cruel treatment towards me. When I received his letter today, I expected to find that I would be hurt and crushed. But surprisingly, I was not. I've discovered that although I may love Erik, and I am no longer in love with him. I've been enjoying your company these past few weeks immensely, Raoul, perhaps more than I can express. I know you hold feelings for me, but I have greatly appreciated that fact that you do not wish to rush things. This means a tremendous amount to me. If you don't mind, I'd like to put the past behind us. I'd like you to ask me out on an official date."

Raoul, although shocked by Christine's confession at first, smiled at her. She looked radiant, a woman confident in the knowledge that she believes to be doing the right thing. Raoul chuckled, causing Christine to smile as well…it was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, extending up to her eyes.

"Well, Mlle. Daae…" Raoul said, "I was wondering if you would do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner this evening, at the new Restaurant in the Place de la Central."

Christine giggled at the gesture. "Of course, Monsieur de Chagny. It would be an honor to accompany such a gentleman to dinner."

"Well, then, I'll leave you to get ready. I shall be back at 4:00, and I expect you to be ready when I knock on the door."

"Oh but Raoul, you must know that it's tradition for women to be fashionably late for the first date." She giggled, standing up from her chair.

"Well then, I shall expect you at five minutes after I arrive. Good afternoon, Christine. I shall see you this evening."

"Good afternoon, Raoul. I'll see you tonight."

And with that, Raoul exited the room, shutting the door quietly, and left the house. On his way down the front steps, he turned and looked up at Christine's window. She was watching him walk away. Raoul waved, and Christine returned the gesture with a smile. It seemed that both could not wait for tonight.

At promptly 4:04, Raoul returned to the Daae residence to pick up Christine for their first official outing as a couple. Strange, how Raoul was nervous tonight in a way he had never been before. Perhaps it was because unlike their previous outings as just friends, this one was special, and Raoul hoped sincerely that Christine would enjoy herself. He felt that what Erik had done to her was very wrong indeed, and that, if given time, Christine would come to love him. Raoul sincerely hoped so.

Raoul knocked on the door, expecting to be waiting for a few minutes before Christine was ready to go. But Christine answered the door not even twenty seconds' later, ready to go.

Raoul was stunned into silence for the first few seconds…Christine was beautiful. Although she usually wore her hair down, tonight she had put it up in an elegant updo. She wore a lavender dress with no sleeves, accompanied by long white gloves. To put it simply, she was…gorgeous. And Raoul was stunned.

"Why Miss Daae, you look simply beautiful tonight. I had hoped you would enjoy these beautiful flowers, but now I see that your beauty overpasses them." Raoul stated sincerely.

Christine giggled. "Why, Monsieur de Chagny, you look quite handsome yourself. The flowers are lovely."

"If you wouldn't mind waiting a moment, I'll just put them in some water…I'll be back out in a minute." She replied, looking deep into his eyes, as he handed the flowers over. Their fingers brushed up against each other's as Raoul handed Christine the flowers. Their hands froze, each realizing that they did not want to break the connection. Finally, it was Raoul who did so, but only to allow Christine to accomplish her task. Christine, after breaking eye contact with Raoul, walked inside to place the flowers in a vase.

Returning only a minute later, the two got into the carriage, and left the cottage, bound for dinner in the city, and whatever surprises it held.

Looking back, Christine would remember the dinner as one of the most romantic events she had ever experienced.

Raoul had obviously spared no expense. They were shown to a small table in the back, one that was secluded from the other patrons. They had champagne waiting for them upon their arrival, and the table was arranged with rose petals and candles. The air smelled of care and devotion.

After looking over the menu for a few minutes, Christine placed her order. Raoul patiently waited for her to finish tailoring it to her specifications before he broke the gaze directed towards her face and placed his.

After the waitress had gone, Christine turned to face Raoul.

If Christine had ever felt more awkward in her life, it was hard to say. Normally she had no problem speaking with Raoul. Their witty conversation had come easily to her, and neither one of them had ever lacked for stories to tell of their childhood or their experiences before they met each other.

But now that Raoul was officially courting her, Christine felt as if she had nothing to say. It was Raoul who broke the silence.

"Christine, I…" he said quietly before drifting off, not quite sure what to say.

Christine turned so that her body faced his completely, and moved closer toward his side of the table. Once she had situated herself, she reached out and did something she had never done before.

She grasped his hand in a gentle grip.

Raoul seemed to visibly relax, and Christine could feel the tension slowly ebbing away. Now the silence was no longer uncomfortable. They seemed to have slipped back into their former selves, completely at ease with each other and content with nothing more than to be together. Christine gently laid her head against Raoul's shoulder. She felt warm, comforted, and loved.

They remained that way until their food arrived a few minutes later. They ate in silence, each glancing up occasionally to find the other's eyes fastened upon theirs. After they had finished their meal, Raoul asked Christine if she would like to stay for dessert. Christine surprised him with her response.

"Actually Raoul, if you don't mind, I was hoping we could leave and go somewhere for a walk."

Raoul was happy to oblige. It seemed that anything he could do to make her happy was not enough. He didn't just want to make her happy, he wanted to make her perfectly content.

After Raoul paid, he offered Christine his hand to help her rise. They walked to the carriage in silence, arm in arm.

Raoul helped Christine into the carriage and instructed his driver to take them to the waterfront park. Christine gave him a smile, delighted to see that he remembered she loved the waterfront.

Taking Christine's hand in his, Raoul exited the carriage and helped Christine emerge. Although it was cool out, Christine had forgotten her shawl. She shivered slightly as the cold night air kissed her exposed shoulders, and Raoul graciously offered her his jacket.

They followed the paved path for quite a while in silence before Christine spoke.

"My father and I used to sleep outside in the garden in the summer. He would teach me all the names of the stars, and tell me stories about them. Sometimes, he would make up stories about a girl named Little Lotte, who used to dream about the stars…" Christine trailed off, lost in memory and thought.

Raoul allowed her the time to contemplate in silence, before he turned to her.

"You must miss him very much…"

"How I wish you could have met him…he would have liked you quite a lot."

Christine turned to face Raoul, a question in her eyes, and Raoul obliged by kissing her.

It was a sweet, tender kiss, and when they broke apart, Christine smiled at him, and giggled like a schoolgirl. Raoul looked at her for a second before he, too, began to laugh. Lost in their mirth, they returned to the carriage, whereupon Raoul escorted Christine home to her cottage.

Later that night, as Christine laid in bed, she thought back to Raoul and the kiss they had shared. She cared for him deeply, that much was certain. In time, she might even come to love him. But he was not her Erik, and that was both a curse and a blessing.

So why did she feel like such a traitor ?