Written to the tune of "The Piano Man". Enjoy!

Sauron's Version of The Piano Man

I'm going to rule all of Middle Earth
I'm going to destroy the Shire
Oh, I'm going to find
That Frodo's behind
And set him and his friends on fire

Oh, I'd win and I'd succeed in killing them
Or at least, that was the plan
But before I knew it
My servants all blew it
'Twas over before it began

Ladededededa….ladadededa…dada….

CHORUS
Freedom to rule what I wanna rule
Yes, that's what I'm going to achieve
I'm going to be King
With the help of my Ring
I'll kill you if you don't believe

At the battle of Helms Deep I almost won
My orc armies one mile across
As they streamed through the gate
They met their fate
And it turned out that they lost

From then on I vowed to get my revenge
By arrow, dagger, or blade
I'll come out from my lair
And the world will despair
And twenty more rings will be made

Ladedadeddeda…..ladadededa….dada….

Freedom to rule what I wanna rule
Yes, that's what I'm going to achieve
I'm going to be King
With the help of my Ring
I'll kill you if you don't believe

Yes, then I'll kill all of them one by one
First hobbits, then wizards and elves
I'll make the men my slaves
For the rest of their days
And the insects can fend for themselves

I'll corrupt the land and the animals
I'll burn (BURN) down all the talking trees
I'll set them on fire (BURN! BURN!)
And then I'll conspire
To do…whatsoevah I please! (mwaha!)

Freedom to rule what I wanna rule
Yes, that's what I'm going to achieve
I'm going to be King
With the help of my Ring
I'll kill you if you don't believe

There'll be battle, and I will rise up again
And I will gain me the crown
There will be a fight
I'll show off my might
And their world will come crashing down

I WILL win, and I'll rule all of Middle Earth
I'll be the greatest of kings
I won't be foiled again
But until then
I'll work on making my rings (Wheee!)

Ladedadededa….ladadededa….dada….

"ALL TOGETHER NOW!"
Freedom to rule what I wanna rule
Yes, that's what I'm going to achieve
I'm going to be King
With the help of my Ring
I'll kill you if you don't believe

A/N: Drop a review on your way out! (And the odd increments were added by the typist—a friend of mine, Phyllis Nodrey—who happens to have a rabid crush on a psychotic pyro…thus the BURN! BURN!s…)