To all the fights I've conquered and behold
The times have changed and I will now move over slowly...
But through it all I still feel lost without you
Hard to find a new soul
The silence takes its toll
-Lostprophets, "Sway"
Rodney McKay looked down at the cup of coffee in his hands. He was alone with only his thoughts for company in the mess hall. 'This could be my last cup of coffee.' The thought occupied his mind as he looked down at the brown liquid. What was it like, he wondered, for the people on the Alpha Site? Rodney fiddled with the coffee cup. They were no doubt worrying for the people who had stayed behind. Well, the people they liked—which officially excluded Rodney from them all.
Just as McKay was pondering his low popularity, his meditative sole silence was broken as Dr. Zelenka sat down across from him. "Hey, Rodney," he said. Rodney glanced up at Zelenka, not bothering with a hello.
"Yeah?" he said, his general reply, but now it lacked the sarcastic edge. He couldn't deny or excuse the bitter twang of his heart as he wondered if these would be the last words he said to the other man.
"I want to ask you permission for something…" Zelenka hesitated only briefly, "Grodin and I want to take a jumper to the mainland."
Rodney's eyes widened in surprise. "What? How… Neither of you can fly a jumper!" he managed to spit out a complete thought, "And why are you asking me, anyway? You need to talk to Elizabeth."
"Carson gave me the ATA gene today, Rodney, and it works," Zelenka explained. "I can manage flying."
Rodney frowned deeply. "Why are you asking me for permission?"
Zelenka leaned back in his seat, sighing. "We stayed here to protect Atlantis, but we're doing nothing here. We want to go to the mainland to help. The more people that go, the better chance of success we have." He exhaled. "Dr. Weir doesn't understand that. She doesn't want to risk anyone's life. She doesn't understand that by risking more peoples' lives, she's really risking less. The more people out there, the more chance we have of survival."
"Look, Zelenka…"
"You know how I feel. We're holed up here while they're out fighting for us! I want to get out there and help somebody. Please, Rodney," Zelenka looked at Rodney, his eyes expressive.
Rodney sighed. "Fine, but come back in one piece," he ordered. Zelenka nodded solemnly before running off to find Grodin. Rodney put his head in his hands, sighing as he began to contemplate how in the hell he would explain to Elizabeth that he was letting two doctors lacking in military experience off to battle the Wraith.
"Atlantis, this is Sergeant Bates."
"I hear you loud and clear," Elizabeth replied, nervous for an update. "Did the bomb work?"
There was a long pause before he answered. "The bomb was effective. The Darts have all been neutralized."
Elizabeth frowned. She could tell by his voice that there was something that he wasn't telling her. "All of them?" she echoed.
"The bomb also knocked out a few of the jumpers' communication for a few minutes, but they're back online now."
"And what about Sheppard and Crown?" Elizabeth asked. Her hand gripped the side of the table and she closed her eyes. 'Please, oh please let them be safe,' she prayed.
Bates' silence told her all she needed to know before he spoke again. "The resulting blast hit their jumper. They did a few flips. We've been trying to communicate with them, but no one is responding."
"Their communications could be broken," Elizabeth told him.
"No, they're getting the signal loud and clear," Bates said, what wasn't said much more powerful: neither Sheppard nor Crown could reply. "We've swept over the area. There is a large crack in the back windshield."
"Any life signs?" Elizabeth questioned, her face growing pale.
"The device to detect them was damaged in the blast. Ma'am, if Crown and Sheppard are unconscious and that crack is there, it won't be long before the oxygen is used up."
"Can't you transfer them to a different jumper?" Elizabeth asked.
"No," Bates answered. "We could nudge them along, but once we entered the atmosphere they would plummet into the ocean…or the city. Not to mention with this much hull and shield damage they wouldn't even make it through the atmosphere."
"There are fifty-two Darts left," Peter Grodin announced. "The bomb destroyed over one hundred. Sheppard and Crown didn't die for nothing…"
"They haven't died yet!" Elizabeth shouted at him, her eyes wide. She took a few gasping breaths and then hung her head, realizing that she'd snapped at him. "I-I'm sorry."
"No, you're right," Peter told her, "They aren't dead yet. Sheppard will find a way. He always does."
"What are your orders to continue?" Bates' voice came through. Elizabeth gripped the table harder. Now that Sheppard was…incapacitated, they looked to her for commands.
"Can you drop a bomb onto the Hive Ships above the atmosphere?"
"Possibly, but it could cause damage to the atmosphere."
"Okay," Elizabeth exhaled, "Bad idea then…" she looked over toward Peter, "Let the jumpers going to the mainland know not to fire their bombs."
"I'm on it," he replied.
"Damage what ships and Darts you can, whatever way possible."
"Okay. Bates out."
Elizabeth rubbed her temples with one hand, her arm trembling. John…he couldn't be dead! He just couldn't! "Get me on a line with Carson."
"Ay, I hear ye."
"Good," Elizabeth sighed. "John and Crown are stranded in a jumper. They aren't responding to communications and there appears to be a crack in the back windshield." She ran her hands up and down her arms in the moment of silence that followed.
"He is a resourceful chap, Sheppard is," Carson replied, hope weak in his voice.
"That he is," Elizabeth said, setting her jaw firmly. "How are things over there?"
"The jumpers have arrived," Carson informed her. "There's been a lot of firefight, but the Hive Ship is pretty intact. I'm afraid we're going to need something better if we're going to win this fight."
Elizabeth bit her lip. "Are all of the Athosians okay?"
"A few got hit by a blast that came close to the cave. I have 'em in the back, splinted an' all."
"Good."
Carson Beckett hesitated on the other end. "Do you…do you think that Sheppard…that he's…"
"We can't afford to make any assumptions," Elizabeth said, struggling to keep her stony composure. Her eyes flitted to Rodney as he walked into the room. "I've got to go. Stay in touch," Elizabeth turned off the radio and walked over to Rodney. "Any updates?" she asked, her face creasing in worry.
Rodney shook his head. "No," he answered her question a moment before his eyes slid to Peter Grodin, who was sitting by the controls once more. "Listen, Elizabeth… From what I've heard the mainland needs some help," he said. "We should send another jumper to help them." He looked down at his hands, thinking about what he had overheard about John. There was a hollow pit in his stomach. What if he really wasno. He couldn't afford to break down; not here, not now. They had a mission to complete.
It was the way John would've wanted it.
"Agreed," Elizabeth replied to his earlier statement.
"All right," Rodney turned, his eyes falling on Radek Zelenka who had recently stepped inside the room. "Radek, Peter, take a jumper."
Elizabeth rounded on him, her eyes wide. "Rodney!" he turned, biting his lip at the confrontation. "What do you think you're doing? Their not military personnel!"
"Elizabeth," Rodney said, his voice firm as he set his hands on her shoulders, staring intensely into her eyes. "There are no more military personnel. Zelenka and Grodin want to go. Let them," he ordered. Her eyes slid past him as Peter and Radek moved toward the door, glancing back. "We need them to do this," Rodney continued, still gazing intently into her eyes.
Elizabeth hung her head, relenting. "Okay." Rodney turned, nodding to the two scientists, who disappeared without a word to the jumper bay. Elizabeth looked up at Rodney, her eyes hollow shells; a fireplace dimmed of its ever burning light. "We're not going to make it another hour," Elizabeth stated.
"Yes we are," Rodney said through gritted teeth. Elizabeth tilted her head, considering how ironic it was that Rodney McKay was assuring her that things would be fine instead of the opposite way around.
"Not like this," Elizabeth whispered, turning away from him and walking a few steps as she thought. "We can barely hold them off. Soon the Hive Ships will start descending and we won't be able to stop them without blowing up Atlantis."
"Elizabeth…"
"There has to be one leader ship, right? We don't know much about the Wraith, but they must have some ranking of power…"
"What are you saying?" Rodney asked finally.
Elizabeth turned to him, a stony resolved in her eyes. "I have a plan."
Author's Note: Well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. :) Thanks for the reviews and keep 'em coming!
