Chapter 2: The Opening part 1
"Bloody Recent Runes, what did he do with these books?" Marvin asked angrily.
The Librarian had a banana in one hand, a glue brush in the other and a book in one foot, "Ook ook".
"They come back like this every few months? That's insane!"
"Oook ook ooook" the Librarian replied as he brushed the back of "Runik Magik of Tymes Gon Past" with glue.
"Reads them you say? Hah! More like abusing and torturing them"
The rustle of paper and the clinking of chains filled the air. Marvin cocked his head to one side as he listened to the books.
"Oi, they say a man a girl is here. Who can that be at this hour?"
"Ook eek ook ook"
"Captain Carrot and Sergeant Angua came in while I was out. Well, it has been a while since they came here. Carrot probably found something about ancient Dwarf bread again and wants to show Angua how interesting it is. She doesn't look like the type of person that would want to read about bread. Wonder why she is following him?"
"Ook ook oooooook oook" the Librarian said with an evil smile.
Marvin whole face turned bright red as he blushed, "I- I am not jealous! What gives you even the faintest idea that I am jealous?"
The Librarian gave him one of his broad smiles.
Martin pulled his hat over his ears and quickly busied himself with the book at hand, "Oh sod off! Concentrate on your work and leave me be!"
The books rustled merrily on their chains.
The gates of the Unseen University closed slowly as the man walked in. The magic in the air crackled about him as he walked towards the main hall. He studied the fine trees, flowers and bushes that covered the grounds as far as he could see as he walked along. He noticed the strange humming building off to the far right and stopped to study it for a minute. From time to time magic would be released from the building, and strange lights filled the night sky around the huge copper dome. Suddenly a side door of the main hall burst open and a group of very old, grossly overweight wizards huffed and puffed their way over to the humming building. Following them was a scrawny wizard with glasses who carried a much older, much more rigid wizard overhead.
"Boogle boppie top! Custard is fun!" the old wizard chimed happily.
"Not now Bursar. The Arch Chancellor is waiting for us" the younger said as they entered the building.
They didn't notice the solitary figure standing in the middle of walkway.
The man laughed to himself, then pulled his bowler hat tighter down about his head.
"Where to begin, where to begin?" he asked himself as he looked at the University.
A dwarf pushing a wheelbarrow came around the far side of the humming building. The wheelbarrow was filled with purple glowing mushrooms. The man saw the dwarf approaching and hailed "Master Dwarf! Can I borrow some of your time?"
The dwarf looked at the man, and steered the wheelbarrow in his direction. He stopped a short distance away and wiped the sweat of his forehead.
"G'evening lad, and what can old Modo do fer ye?"
The man looked at the wheelbarrow filled with mushrooms, "What are these for?"
"Oh! This is just somethin' fer the boys in the HEMB, they say they're doinf experiments with it. Don't see what good ye can get out o' these lot, makes a crummy fertilizer and tastes jus' horrible it does"
"The HEMB?" the man asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Aye, the High Energy Magic Building" Modo stopped and looked at the man quizzically, "You aint from these parts now are ye lad? Are ye here to see the Arch Chancellor perhaps?"
"No, actually I'm here looking for a special book"
"Oh, a book you say. Well, see that wing over there, that's the Library, you can find all the special books you ever want in there lad" Modo said as he pointed to a clutch of towers.
He turned to look at the man, but he was gone. Modo scratched his head, "Peculiar folk these magical types" and he continued with his work.
The Faculty stood wheezing and whining in front of HEX. Sweat dripped to the floor, and if it weren't for their staffs, some of them would also be on the floor by now.
HEX was working overtime. It emitted strange lights, the hamsters were banging their heads, the ants were a black blur, and the Cheddar cheese was now a mature Gruyere.
"What is going on Ridcully? What is so urgent that we had to skip our sixth course of pudding?" the Dean asked angrily. There came a chorus of yeses from those who had enough breath to speak.
Ridcully sat by the quill and was reading what it was writing. Next to him on the floor was Lucrisius, foam dripping from his mouth.
"STIBBONS! What the blazes is all this!" Ridcully roared as held up a piece of parchment.
Ponder rocked from side to side, standing next to Ridcully when he screams is not a good idea. Ponder gained his bearings and took the parchment out of Ridcully's hands and studied it for a while.
"Sir, this seems to be map coordinates. This is most probably the whereabouts of this something that came through the portal"
Most of the faculty had regained their breath.
"Arch Chancellor, would you be kind enough to enlighten us what is going on?" the Senior Wrangler asked.
Ridcully turned around and looked at the faculty, "According to young Stibbons here, something ripped a hole in reality and came through to Ankh Morpork, and it is worse than one of Dibbler's sausages coming to life"
The faculty stared blankly at Ridcully for a moment, and then his words hit them.
The Lecturer in Indefinite Studies went deathly pale, "You- You're lying! Nothing can be worse than that!"
"According to HEX it is sir" Ponder said
"I say, are those hamsters? And what are they doing?" the Dean asked as he looked at HEX.
Mad Drongo appeared out of thin air in the middle of the Faculty.
"They're like, cool hamsters man! They like, dance and stuff, and now, they are like, banging their heads man. Rock on little buddies!" Mad Drongo shouted at the hamsters.
"AAAAAAGH! THE MOP SPOKE!" The Bursar screamed and then he fainted.
Mad Drongo's eyes were shingin a strange purple colour and pieces of mushroom has started to grow out of his hair.
"Stibbons! What the blazes is wrong with this fellow?" Ridcully asked.
Ponder looked nervously around, "Um, they are experimenting with various, things, sir"
"Experimenting, like, opened the magical hemisphere to me. It's like, making the world a better place and stuff"
"Get this buffoon out of my sight!" Ridcully roared.
Ponder took Mad Drongo off to one corner. There he stared at his hands for the rest of time.
All of a sudden Ramtop bagpipes went of screaming, flashing lights strobe the room, the hamsters banged their heads with new vigor and the FTB went super fluffy. Ponder rushed over to where the quil was scribbling at an obscene speed and started reading the parchment as HEX wrote.
"It did another dimensional travel sir!"
"What? It left already?" the Dean shouted over the noice.
"No sir, I'm afraid not"
"Where is it now Stibbons?" Ridcully asked.
Ponder scanned the parchment for a couple of seconds, "HEX located it sir! It is somewhere in the University Library"
"In the Library? What is it doing there?" Recent Runes asked.
Ponder picked up the latest piece of parchment, read it and went pale.
"Well Stibbons, out with it!" Ridcully ordered.
"I- it- it wants to st- steal something. Some- Something, from the Library Vault"
AN: Phew. I finally got a chance to work on my story. University has started and everything is in chaos. Will put up the second part as soon as possible. Any suggestions, hints and tips will be greatly appreciated. Bad stuff, well, bad stuff can be helpful from time to time.
