Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I claim no right to.

Did you know it's because we're fans of anime's, books, movies, etc. that we don't get sued when we write fanfictions? The owner's don't want to lose us as fans. Feel loved? Awesome. Enjoy! Thank you to;

Kikyo-the-Walnut

Yusuke brat

Jamie

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BLOODY LIES

So Now It Is Time

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. . . So Here Are My Last Fears . . .

. . . Ironically They Are Of My Friends . . .

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Inuyasha's POV

I'm awake now. I know that we're in Kaede's old hut. Even though she's been gone for a while . . . her scent still lingers on in the dirt under all of us. She lived here for over fifty years, you can bet that her scent will be here for just that long, getting fainter as yet another year passes by.

Damn, now I'm sounding a poetic, or whatever. Well, that's just to bad, because that's how it really is.

Anyways.

It's finally over. She's finally gone. I killed her.

You know, that's the last thing I remember, sayin' "Kikyo's dead." How is that not going to be the last thing you say before you pass out if you just killed your former . . . lover . . . of sorts? And you know what else? Kikyo had some parting words too. I don't know what they mean, you know, if she really meant them or anything like that. I don't know if she was just out of her mind, I don't know if she was just simply stating something that she never got to say otherwise. You wanna know the last thing Kikyo said?

She said;

"I love you, Inuyasha. Your secret is safe with me."

That might seem like a lot to say within the one minute interval when you're layin' in the ground, getting ready to just turn off the lights, forever. Well, it really isn't. I've been on the brink of death a couple 'o times myself, so I think I can tell you this with honesty. When you're 'bout to die, time slows down. Or, that's how it seems to be. It's like everything's slowin' down, and you're never gonna see the darkness, when all of the sudden you do.

Then you find yourself awake in some old hut with worry-wasting people bendin' over you askin' a million questions.

That means that you're not dead yet, in case you couldn't figure that last bit out.

I don't think you care what it's like to be dyin' though, do ya? I bet you just wanna understand exactly what's going on, eh? Why everything seems so . . . confusing? You know what I say to explanations? Fuck you! I don't owe you any explainin'.

But you know, that's exactly why my eyes are still closed. Why I'm forcin' my breathing to seem steep and steady, so that everyone in the room thinks that I'm still out cold. I don't want to have to explain. I don't think they'd agree with my logic on dealing with my problem. They'd say somethin' like; "Oh, Inuyasha! You should have told us! We could have figured this out together! That's what friends do for friends, remember that, Inuyasha!"

Bull shit, if I don't agree with how I solved my problem, I know they sure as hell won't like it either!

I can tell that Kagome, Miroku, Kirara, Shippo, and Sango are all in the room. I can tell that Sango is awake, so I figure that means that she's okay. That's a good thing, if Kikyo killed Sango, damn, I'd have to kill that . . . "pot" . . . again. Gods, I don't know if I could kill Kikyo again.

So you're in my head, knowin' my thoughts, thinkin' "Why couldn't he kill her again? He did it once before, just a while ago!" Well, nah. Of course I just killed Kikyo a while ago! But do you really think that it didn't bother me in the littlest bit? Gods, if that's what you think, then you've got some serious issues. I know that when I said "Kikyo's dead," I frowned. I didn't expect her to actually die this time!

We've fought her before, and she always came out alive. It was so unexpected . . . I wasn't prepared for Kikyo to die just yet. I can tell you now, even though I don't love Kikyo anymore, it still kinda stings.

I mean, wouldn't you be sad if your ex-girlfriend thingy died and you just now figured out that you didn't still love her?

Yeah, I still thought I "loved" Kikyo when I killed her. But ya know what? I realize that I don't. Love Kikyo, I mean. I can't tell ya who I really love. Damn, I gotta tell ya, that is one complicated emotion, love is. How can you people understand it? I don't think I do anymore. Hell, I don't even know if I ever did understand love.

It's just like women, you never know what to expect, and you know it's gonna hurt.

Kikyo . . . Kikyo, Kikyo, Kikyo, Kagome.

Gods, they were so much alike.

I know Kagome might not like having Kikyo being compared to her all of the time, but dammit! That girl is Kikyo's reincarnation! How are they not gonna be similar in some ways? My mind can't handle havin' two of them around alla' the time.

I know, I know. I'm supposed to be thinking about Kikyo's death. But you know what? I can't focus on it. All I can seem t' be thinkin' about it how mad the others are gonna be when they ask what the crap's going and all I can tell them is the truth. I'm still having trouble gettin' the truth straight, how am I gonna explain it to them?

I know that I can't keep up this charade anymore, I'm gonna have t' tell them all eventually. You know, how Kaede really died, how come Kikyo took my blood (both reasons,) all of that stuff.

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. . . But You Cannot Hide Forever . . .

. . . And You Cannot Ever Say Never . . .

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Note: Oh my gosh, the shortness is killing me . . . I don't know exactly how this chapter "came to be," it just happened. I am so sorry about the length. Ahh, it was supposed to be longer, and it wasn't supposed to be like this. I guess it's like this to get what Inuyasha feels about everything at the moment. I think I captured that rather well, but that's just me. Anyways, the grammar, yeah it's horrible. That's because it's in Inuyasha's head and I wanted to be like you're really in Inuyasha's head. Do you understand? Well, the next chapter will be muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch longer, because I've got a lot of stuff to wrap up on. Well, review and stay tuned!