MoonDeity: Blah, blah, blah. I'm writing this in the library.
Disclaimer: To the person who owns Fruits Basket: Please. I beg of you. Keep your anime FAR away from me. I'd not like to touch it, much less own it.
"Gay vampire! WOOLOOLOOMOOLO!" -Jacob
Chapter 2:
A Certain Blue Pill"So…Shigure…."
Kyo's voice was strangely calm and level.
"Remind me why…yet again…remind me why I'm sitting next to Kagura….ON THE WAY TO THE HOT SPRINGS?"
Shigure's hair was fanned back from his forehead by the blast from Kyo. The orange-haired one was looming over him, beats of sweat trickling down his face and his eyes dilated with anger. He was as angry as a, well, a cat drenched in water. Shigure smiled in his mediocre fashion.
"Because, Kyo, it'll be good for you and Kagura to spend some quality time together. To sort out your differences…to bond…to chat…to create babies…"
"CREATE BABIES? HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET AGAIN?"
"Oh, heavens, no!" ,Ayame laughed. "That was last week! And besides, Shigure and I will be there with you two! Although…"
Ayame glanced at Shigure and smiled deviously.
"We might be busy having our own personal 'chatting time.' Eh, Shigure?"
"Oh, Ayame, stop it! You're making me blush!"
"You blushed harder last week in the book store…"
Kyo's veins were popping out of his forehead in anger, but he was pulled down to the seat by Kagura. The Boar hadn't let go of his arm since they'd boarded the bus. She smiled at his furious face.
"Come on, Kyo-Kyo! It's VALENTINE'S DAY. Don't you want to do something romantic with your fiancé?"
"For the last time! I'm not going to marry you!"
"Now, Kyo…" Shigure interrupted, wagging his finger at him.
"Don't 'Kyo' me!" ,the Cat yelled. "I didn't ask to be taken on this stupid trip! What fun is being stuck with her anyway?"
Kagura stuck out her lower lip and squeezed Kyo's arm tighter. Kyo winced as he felt that certain bone snap for the third time that day. What the hell was Shigure planning anyway, taking him, out of the blue and with no consent on his part, to the hot springs? That creepy lady would be there, screaming and running around underneath that mat thing again…oh, god, what if she got with him in the hot tub like last time? What if she made that fifty-five-course miso dinner like last time? Kyo's memories of last time were not quite pleasant.
When the bus pulled up to the hot spring entrance, everything looked quiet and still. Kyo stepped off the bus cautiously after his elders with Kagura clinging to his arm. Shigure was looking thoughtfully at a note pinned to the post by the entrance. It read:
Shigure—Gone to Hiroshima with Riku for a therapy session. Will bring back souvenirs. So sorry that we couldn't be here.
Huggles and Kisses,
Creepy Hot Springs Lady
Shigure sighed and turned to Ayame and the others.
"Looks like we'll have to fend for ourselves," he said, slightly melodramatic. "Kyo, get the bags."
"Me!" ,he exclaimed as Kagura, Ayame, and Shigure began walking off. "What happened to fend for ourselves?"
"We are," Ayame answered. "By making you lift the luggage. Now get in gear, Kyo-Kyo!"
Kyo grumbled, and stalked off to lug the bags to the house.
"Not Kyo-Kyo," he muttered, and fervently began to drag the fifty-ton bags (Ayame had brought his hair-care kit) through the entrance, up the steps, and into their large room.
By the time everyone had gotten unpacked, and settled in, dinnertime had rolled around and Kyo was starving. So, being the parasitic creature he was, he went and whined to Ayame and Shigure about it. The two looked amusingly down at the orange-headed creature, got up, and, surprisingly willingly, went out to buy groceries. Leaving Kagura and Kyo utterly, and completely, alone.
They sat together in silence in the front room, Kagura seated on a couch, and Kyo lounging on a chair near her. They each had a glass of cool tea in front of them. The only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock echoing throughout the room. Things were surprisingly calm. Kyo felt that he needed the time for his bones to knit.
Kagura picked up her tea and sipped it quietly. Kyo rested his chin on his palm and stared at the door. Would they be out all night, or what? His stomach grumbled, and he spanked it. He was so hungry. Why did that lady have to go out and leave them with no food in the fridge? Come to think of it, he hadn't even checked to see if there was food, but Shigure and Ayame both said it was as empty as his head. Kyo still didn't get that joke.
While he was deep in his shallow musings, Kagura was drinking her tea silently. Simply being in the same silent room as Kyo was pleasant to her, like his presence was soothing. She sighed in content, glanced at the clock, the second hand flicking around the round circle, and drank deeply from her cup, draining it. She swallowed, and felt something hard slide down her throat. Kagura blinked. Nani? She looked at the bottom of her cup, where a few drops of amber tea glimmered out from the crevice of the rim, and…a strange powdery substance. A substance floating near the tea, half-dissolved. And it was then that Kagura felt the tingle reverberating in her thighs.
Her cup slipped from her fingers and dropped to the floor. Kyo jerked his head up from the door and stared at her. Kagura was trembling. No, vibrating, shivering like she was covered in snow. Kyo, alarmed, crossed over to her and repeated her name.
"Kagura?" ,he asked. "Kagura? What's wrong?"
It was then he spotted the cup. He snatched it up from the floor, his heart pounding, and stared in perplexed horror at the substance at the bottom of her cup. Normally, if it was normal poison, Kyo would be freaking out and running around in never-ending circles. But this wasn't poison. It was much worse. And Kyo wasn't freaking out. He was pissing in his pants and having a brain hemorrhage. See the blood leaking from his ears?
Anyway, as he turned, shaking, to Kagura, he saw what he had expected and what he had feared. That tingle Kagura was feeling had escalated into a surge that was overtaking her entire body. Kyo saw her breasts fill up with milk and turn hard, so hard that her shirt ripped and she was standing there as the elastic snapped from her bra. Kyo also noted the strange substance leaking out from her pant leg, dripping, no, streaming onto the floor. With horror blinding his eyes, he fumbled underneath the couch, between Kagura's legs (which probably was the least wisest spot to be in right now, but, hey, this is Kyo we're talking about here) and produced a packet. A packet that was empty, void of certain blue pills. That substance was blue. These pills were blue, and diamond shaped. How could they? What were they thinking? An entire box of Viagra, was just emptied into Kagura's tea.
Kyo straightened up, the box falling from his trembling hands, and turned to run. But something caught on the edge of his shirt, and pulled him down to the floor. Looking back, he saw with horror what was pinning down his shirt and keeping him from fleeing. It was a dildo.
MoonDeity: Ah…that was fun. Took forever to write, but that was indeed fun. All flames will be soaked with water and beaten with Barbie dolls. Tera.
