MoonDeity: Like I said before, this fic is for my friend, Terra. I know, don't yell at me. This was kind of late, as it was intended to be a Valentine's Day special, but you know. I space things. Like I still need to play that FMA game Donny lent me. And he still needs to return my YYH DVD! And that videotape! And I need to go to the library. Wow, I shouldn't even be writing this, then…
Disclaimer: Keep your rights to yourself. I don't want anything to do with your anime.
"I'll have the cream of Sum Yung Gai." --Sam
Chapter 3:
The Screaming FoxLet us, then, go back in time to the morning of February 13, right after Shigure, Ayame, Kyo, and Kagura left for the hot springs. Tohru had left the house going grocery shopping, and, with nothing else to do, Yuki decided to travel to the main Sohma house. Normally, Yuki would have like to drop a nuke on it instead of drop by for a polite visit. But he needed to further investigate the matter at hand, and to do that, he needed to talk to 'Hari.
Yuki found him in his office typing up paper work. Politely knocking, 'Hari turned his head and looked with surprise at Yuki.
"Yuki," he said, getting up from his seat. "What are you doing here? Where are the others?"
Yuki stepped in the room.
"I need to talk to you. May I sit down?"
'Hari had invited him in and offered tea. They sat at a low table with their legs crossed underneath. The sliding door was open to let a fresh breeze in the musty room.
"What did you need to ask, Yuki?" ,'Hari inquired. Yuki shifted his weight.
"I need to ask you about something that happened in tenth grade," he finally said. 'Hari sipped his tea.
"If it's about the bunny rabbit incident and the mannequins, I'm not saying anything."
"It's not about that."
"Oh?" 'Hari raised his eyebrow. Yuki fidgeted with his cup.
"Did something happen in tenth grade? Something…weird? Something Ayame and Shigure did to you?", he asked in a low voice. 'Hari remained expressionless.
"They did a lot of things to me in tenth grade," he said, gazing out the window. "They made me fail this math test, lose all my money at a junior gambling pit, made me live in a tree for three weeks. Made me join the 'Solo Adventures' club, made me attend a Michael Jackson concert, made me dress up as Batman and leap tall buildings in the middle of the night….made me read sho-jo mangas for seven weeks….made me lose my virginity to a Swedish whore, made me eat one of my own testicles—"
"Okay, whoa."
Yuki held out his hands. Unpleasant images were going through his mind. "Let's stop right there. What I meant was, what was the worst thing that happened to you in tenth grade?"
'Hari clasped his chin and thought.
"Well…there was this one time on Valentine's Day when they thought it was funny to hypnotize this girl, poison her with a stimulant, and sleep with me."
Yuki's heart jumped.
"Go on."
'Hari brushed his hair from his eyes.
"It was the day before Valentine's Day, and we all cut school. We were relaxing at a café, pretty crowded with students, especially pretty girls. Ayame and Shigure had brought this pack of serum, taken from the endorphin of the brain of a rare Kazakhstanian Kickapoo screaming fox."
Yuki said nothing.
"It was the only substitute for Viagra we had back then. It was very strong too, but worked only twice as fast as a Viagra does. So, Shigure and Ayame disappeared for five minutes. I was too preoccupied with my pants zipper to notice. When they came back, they were towing this girl behind them. They threw her on my lap. Now, the only thing I remember after that was something wet leaking into my lap. She opened her eyes and looked at me. The rest of it was a blur. Quite literally."
'Hari breathed inward, sipped his tea, and continued.
"When I woke up, I was dangling by my shirt from the flag pole outside of the school. That exact same girl was latched onto my cock as it waved below me. I discovered it had grown to a length of five meters. I realized that, by looking into my eyes, this sexually aroused female had blanked me out with hypnosis, and performed lewd acts with me. The cock, unfortunately, shrunk back to its former two-inch size, but I had to drag the thing behind me like it was a tail for two weeks. I never even got the girl's name as well. I think it was Kat…or Geranium, or Jessi…or Puppet…"
'Hari sipped his tea, swallowed and continued.
"Of course, after that disgraceful incident, I forced Ayame and Shigure to walk around with two foot icicles rammed up their asses for a few months. It was shoddy retribution, but it worked. And that, Yuki, is the end."
The Prince just sat there. Stoned as a rock. Images, even more unpleasant than before were flashing through his mind. What. The. Fuck. Screaming fox? Two-foot icicles? This was what was going on? Little did he know, that right that instant, in about two hours, Kyo was getting his end of the dildo.
Never again
Kyo was screaming. Not only was he screaming, but he was screaming like a little girl who just had a worm put in her hair. Why was Kyo screaming? He was being dragged down the hallway of the spa, by a Viagra-induced martial-arts female who just skipped five bra sizes. And there was nothing he could do about it.
Kagura was totally out of it. The flow of wet opaque fluid had changed from a stream to a gush, and Kyo had the unfortunate occurrence of having his face smeared in the trail of cum as he was dragged along. Could a whole pack of Viagra really do this? Friends, you have no idea.
Once, I fed a whole pack of Viagra to a squirrel. It ran around in circles about five hundred times, and exploded.
Now, while this effect doesn't happen to humans, whose bodies are more adept at handling such an immense dosage, this did do quite a number on Kagura's brain. Such a forceful use of stimulants had triggered the extravert personality trait within her, a trait that commonly belongs to social, uninhibited people. This trait is quite important to positive intercourse between a normal male and female. However, since this trait was greatly inflated, this made Kagura quite daring. Dangerously daring…
They had reached the bedroom. Kagura threw Kyo inside, her muscle were so amplified that she broke the bed when Kyo landed on top of it. As Kyo watched in horror, Kagura tore off her remaining clothes until they were scraps. Her head hanging low, she approached the bed where Kyo now was trembling. She loomed over him. Kyo looked into her eyes. And sent a shriek coiling up to the night sky.
MoonDeity: Mmmm….creamy. Don't yell at me. I rated this R for a reason. This is it. Think you've had enough? You've just got the appetizer…
Note: Kazakhstan is a real country south of the Russian boarder, occupied by members of the Turko-Tartar people, a Muslim group.
Double Note: The Kickapoo are a native North American Indian group who inhabited southwestern Wisconsin. It is also the name for an Algonquian language.
Triple Note: Endorphin is a chemical narcotic produced by the brain. Endorphin is released when severe injury occurs, abolishing all sense of pain. The pain-relieving effect is that of 6.5 times that of regular morphine.
Quadruple Note: Extravert is a personality trait associated with socially active, daring people. It is co-related with sexual behaviors. People with extravert personalities report more satisfaction during sex, average more than three sexual positions, and engage in more sexual foreplay.
