Author's Notes: Sorry for the wait on this one, real life has a nasty habit of popping up at the most disagreeable times. The only important note I want to make about this chapter is that, though I mention Sasuke in this, he's not important, so don't worry about where he is or what he's doing. He's probably off with Orochimaru at this point but the details aren't necessary. Just know that's he's been gone for awhile.
For TeamGaiFan, whose constructive and supportive reviewing makes writing this a blast.
The Bridge to Mnemosyne
Chapter Two
It was raining again. It seemed like the water never stopped, just keep pouring down from the sky in sheets and torrents, turning the streets into rivers and pebbling her windows with crystal drops. It was not unfitting, her tears kept coming as well, trickling down her cheeks silently, only ceasing when in the presence of others. For some reason, she did not sob, no hysterical cries or fits of weeping. Just water, and she made very little of that.
Mindlessly tracing a raindrop's path down the cool glass, she knew there was something wrong with her. In every movie she had ever seen, in every book she had ever read, the heroine always broke down after finding out her lover was dead. There was no question, it was just what a heroine did, what women did. You cried, you wailed, and wore black on Sundays.
Tenten did none of these.
After her initial fainting spell, her body had shut down and her walls had gone up. She went about her daily routine, following the well worn paths of her life simply because they were there and people would ask her questions otherwise. She didn't like to go out anymore. The villagers spoke of Neji with words like "was" and "knew", all of them in the past tense, and wore pitying looks on their faces as they wondered that he had died so young. Only Lee was exempt, mostly because she knew he went to the perimeter wall every day to look out over the countryside, waiting for their lost teammate to return. She had heard a younger ninja call him foolish the day before. Tenten's glare had sent the girl running, stammering out an apology. Lee was all she had left, and she clung to that bond like a lifeboat.
She couldn't even bear to be around Gai-sensei anymore, for he did cry. All the time, in fact, and it was too much. Too much. She couldn't bear other people's sorrow, let alone her own, which was why Lee's presence was so welcome. To her, he showed only determination that Neji was somehow still alive, that he would never allow himself to be beaten so easily. He never said it in so many words of course, but she knew he still had hope. After giving her Neji's forehead protector, he never showed tears in front of her again and never asked about the lack of her own. He was simply there, stable and heartfelt and requiring nothing of her in return.
She sighed quietly and turned from the window, rubbing those silent tears from her face with a sleeve as she reached down for her jacket, the pockets already filled with various scrolls. She was set to do a mission that night, despite the horrible weather. Not that she really minded, nothing seemed to affect her anymore. Battle, though, that seemed to be the only thing that made her see the world again, in all it's colors. Otherwise, it was all faded, washed-out, bleached.
Like his eyes.
Her fingers trembled for a moment before she got a hold of herself. Those odd, noiseless tears were going to start again if she didn't pay attention. Zipping up her jacket, she headed towards the door and the dreary world outside only to find Shikamaru standing in the hallway, apparently waiting for her.
To say that she was surprised was an understatement, though her body no longer had the energy for the customary reactions. Instead she only tilted her head, pausing with her door half closed.
"What are you doing here?"
He was looking at her as if he wasn't quite sure himself, but his words held their usual casualness. "I'd rather you not go with us tonight."
She blinked. "What?"
He sighed and rubbed the back of neck. "Look, if it was just you and me, I wouldn't be here, but I have three other people under my watch tonight." His voice flattened out even though his expression was almost apologetic. "You've become reckless, Tenten. You don't care about your personal safety anymore and are barely aware of anyone else's." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I won't say I don't know why, because I do, but I still can't have you endangering yourself and the rest of my team." He looked her right in the eye. "I owe Neji that much."
She almost cursed him then, for his damnable quick mind that knew he could undo her just by saying that name, and for choosing Neji to be a part of that mission back then. It was an unfair grudge, she knew that, but it was there nonetheless. Only time would see its passing, and certainly not while Shikamaru stood there, looking as if he would rather be anywhere else.
She looked away, bowing her head slightly as she exhaled. Her shoulders fell but she tried to make her voice as smooth as possible. "You must do what you think is right." She saw him flinch out of the corner of her eye but couldn't bring herself to care. He was taking away the only escape she still had. She wasn't going to praise him for it. She wasn't going to fight him either.
Pushing her door open all the way, she stepped back inside the darkness of her apartment, feeling a shadowy weight fall again onto her shoulders. Outside in the hall, Shikamaru's voice came to her quietly.
"We'll be waiting for you, when you're yourself again."
A cracked and painful smile curved her lips and she leaned back to click the door shut. She knew he meant well, and that he was worried about her in his own way, but she could never tell him that there was no going back.
How could she be herself when half of her was missing?
And the empty apartment that pushed at her, suffocating her, was only a reminder of everything he had once filled, everything she had lost.
It was unbearable.
And before she knew it, a low keen had risen in her throat, the soft, grief-stricken prelude to an all-out wail. Clasping a hand over her mouth, she stumbled towards the couch, her fingers doing nothing to smother the involuntary sound ripping itself out of her. Legs shaking, she missed the couch and collapsed next to it, knees thumping into the hard wood floor as she crouched over them, shuddering with that terrifying scream of loneliness that trembled within her bones and hurt her heart.
For the first time since she had learned that he was dead, Tenten let herself weep, no longer silent but almost unconscious with the powerful sobs that racked her. Her fingers dug into the floor without purchase and her whole world contracted until it held only the flash of lightning through the windows, the rolls of thunder that could never quite drown out her cries, and the whispery moan of his name to the stormy heavens.
"Neji."
It looked like she wasn't so different from those heroines after all.
"Lee-san!"
He turned awkwardly in mid-step, his body halting involuntarily at the sound of Sakura's voice over the rainfall. He searched for her and found her standing under the awning of the flower shop Ino worked at, one hand raised in a half-wave, her face expression incredulity that he was out in such weather and without an umbrella.
He supposed it was strange that he was standing there, drenched all the way through and not a bit upset about it, his mind solely focused on his mission, but then storms had never stopped him before. Neither had earthquakes, flashfloods, blizzards, firestorms… What was the danger in natural disasters when one was constantly beat up by their genius teammate? He remembered Neji and Tenten shaking their heads at him as he did 200 push-ups during the biggest heat wave of the year.
He had passed out at 198.
Tenten had scolded him and dumped a bucket of water over his head, all the while trying to hide the smile at the corner of her mouth. Neji had simply folded his arms over his chest and announced that Lee was an idiot. Lee, himself, had only smiled sheepishly and promised that next time, he would do 300.
Because he was Rock Lee and that's just what he did.
"Sakura-san," he greeted, bounding over to her. She smiled slightly and tucked a lock of cherry hair behind her ear.
"Lee-san, it's pouring! What are you doing out? Are you visiting Tenten?"
He nodded, inadvertently showering her with water. "I heard she was taken off her latest mission. I thought she could use the company." He paused to rearrange his features, hiding the flash of sadness that threatened to overcome him. It wouldn't do for Sakura to worry about him. "What about you? Have you been to see Ino?"
Sakura waved a hand dismissively. "Ino-pig never changes. She's as stubborn as ever. I'm more concern about Tenten. I…" she hesitated, "I don't know her very well, but I can… relate to what she is going through." She looked away for a moment and her green eyes actually faded, the light going out of them. Lee felt his fingers clench.
Sasuke.
Sakura continued more softly. "If you could, would you tell her I'm here if she needs to talk? I'm down at the hospital most days so she can find me easily."
"Of course, Sakura-san! I will hurry to deliver your message this instant!" He made as if to bolt off but a hand on his arm stopped him. He blinked back at her, surprised, only to find her smiling again.
"Take this." She offered him the umbrella under her arm. "You need it more than I do."
He grinned. "Ah, I could not, Sakura-san! A lady such as yourself should be protected from the rain." With a cheerful wave, he surged back out into the thunderstorm, never seeing the pleasantly surprised look on kunoichi's face as she watched his back, a stray thought in her mind wondering when she would be the one that he would watch.
He reached Tenten's apartment just as the rain was letting up and he took the stairs three at time, shaking damp strands of hair out of his eyes to ring her doorbell. A minute passed and he rang it again, eyebrows drawing together as he attempted to peer through the one-way peephole. Had she gone out? Surely not with the weather the way it was, especially since Shikamaru had forced her to take some leave. Maybe she was sleeping… except, he was pretty sure she didn't sleep anymore, not easily anyway.
Wiping raindrops from his face, he leaned forward and pressed his ear against he door, hoping to hear her television, or maybe the radio, any sign that she was at home. Instead, he heard horrible, gut-wrenching sobs that made instant tears spring to his eyes. He had been waiting for this to happen, for her to break, he only wished she hadn't been alone…
Stepping back, he kicked open the door, careless of the damage his weighted leg inflicted. Tenten was on the floor near her couch, the entire room drenched in darkness, and she turned her head only slightly to see what had happened, unable to breathe or speak past her grief.
"Tenten…." he said, anguished. Shaking, she held out a hand towards him and he dropped beside her, pulling her into a hug as she wept her heart out, seemingly oblivious to his wet clothes. He wrapped his bandaged arms around her carefully, feeling his own sorrow well up until he too wanted to cry.
"Neji," she gasped between sobs, her voice hoarse, "He's…he's…he's dead…"
A chill passed through him and his next breath actually hurt. It was the first time she had admitted the truth, and there was something about it that seemed so final, as if by uttering the words they closed the book on Neji's life and put it away, never to be opened again.
There was nothing he could say to her that might bring her comfort. He had already asked for her forgiveness that he had not kept a better eye on Neji. Tenten's glare had stopped him before he could even finish. Don't you dare say it's your fault, she had told him, Neji kept an eye on us, not the other way around.
The truth was a cold comfort.
Sakura had almost forgotten her conversation with Lee until Tenten walked into the hospital weeks later, looking tired and out of place and all too thin. Her hair was down, as if she no longer bothered to tie it up, or lacked the strength to, and there were dark circles under her eyes, evidence of too little sleep. She was altogether a different person, no longer vibrant and full of determination and skill, but…weary, as if her fire had gone out.
And maybe it had. Sakura didn't know much about Tenten and Neji's relationship except what Lee told her and what she heard around town, but it was clear that his death had deeply affected the older girl. Which, even without any romantic feelings, would not have been a surprise. Neji had been, after all, her teammate, but Sakura was sure that it went deeper than that. Tenten's grief was almost visible, a mantle of black that she wore around her shoulders, a living entity that was slowly killing her.
Sakura understood. She, too, had lost a precious person once.
"Tenten-san," she said warmly, reaching forward to clasp the other girl's hands gently. "I wasn't sure you would come. Would you like to speak privately? There's a room where-"
"Actually," Tenten interrupted quietly, "I need to speak with you as a patient." Something moved in her dark eyes and Sakura felt her expression turn serious. "Everyone knows you're a wonderful medic and Lee thinks so much of you…" She shifted on her feet, suddenly hesitant. "I…I didn't know where else to go."
She squeezed Tenten's hands reassuringly. "Don't worry. I'm sure whatever it is, we can take care of it quickly. I'll just-" But once again she was cut short as Tenten raised her head, her voice and fingers trembling with something like fear, or maybe apprehension.
"Sakura, I think I'm pregnant."
To be continued.
