All the Above

Sometimes it took a little longer than usual for the office to calm down enough for everyone to actually start their work. This happened for various reasons, a few of such being a visit from outsiders, the wastebasket catching on fire, the radio being smashed, a wall being, uh, renovated, or a puppy/hamster/snake/fish/man-eating lion being brought into the office. That, or Edward Elric coming home from his latest adventure.

All in all, it was a normal morning at the office for everyone (a damn rare occurrence), right up until the point where Fury rushed in through the door, a golden retriever puppy in his arms, both of them panting.

It got easier and easier to ignore the squeak from Breda's corner of the room every time this happened.

In Mustang's office, Hawkeye continued what she was doing calmly, as though she hadn't even noticed Fury's arrival. Loading the last bullet, she laid the gun on her desk with careful precision; positioning it so that it was acting both as a paperweight and a deterrent for bad behavior.

Mustang himself, who had been hanging his overcoat in the closet, glanced around the door, rolling his eyes and turning back to his fight with a hanger when he saw Fury and the big ball of fur cradled against his chest. He had been hopeful when he saw the masses of blond, but not even Edward was that short. That, and he wasn't due home for a few days more at least.

Fury let the dog down, and, of course, it ran straight for Breda, using its doggy instincts to single out the only person in the room who was more likely to scream than pet or feed it. Fury himself singled out Havoc, who had been watching Breda inch his chair back against the wall, a cigarette drooping between his lips (unlit of course, Hawkeye had her desk angled just so, so that she could keep the office smoke free).

The radio was tuned into the news, and everyone was waiting, well, patiently wasn't exactly the word, any way, they were waiting for that week's lotto numbers to be read out. This much was evident by the way all the chairs in the room were turned towards Havoc's desk (even Breda's from over in his corner, where the puppy was slobbering on his knees, ignoring the whimpering noises Breda was making), and the way five crumpled lotto tickets had been tacked on the office bulletin board, under their owner's name.

The first thing Fury did, even before saying hello, was pull his own ticket out of his pocket and hand it to Havoc, so that the Lieutenant could put his up for him. Once this was done, and Havoc was back to being sprawled in his chair, Fury (apparently coming to the conclusion that his own desk was too far away to bother) sat in his lap.

When the door opened again, Roy, having made it to his desk by this point, leaned over so that he could see around his own door. Once again seeing a shock of blond hair, Roy leaned over further, and promptly hit his head on the trashcan when his chair fell over. Swearing furiously, he pulled himself to his feet using the end of the desk, and, giving the garbage a dirty look, stormed over to Hawkeye's desk, pulled the bottom drawer open and pulled out a bottle of scotch. Ignoring her protests, and the loaded gun, he opened it, took a gulp, and stormed back to his own desk. Grabbing the trashcan and putting it on his desk, he emptied the scotch into it and, stepping back, jammed his glove onto his hand, and snapped, grinning widely as the sparks leapt from his hand to the alcohol soaked papers, igniting them easily.

The resulting explosion was ignored by everyone in the outer office, who were too busy listening raptly as the radio started listing numbers.

"05."

Ed, giving the others weird looks, clomped across the outer office until he was standing in Roy's doorway, which had smoke billowing out of it. He stepped aside as Hawkeye dragged a singed Mustang out by the collar, muttering obscenities even as she dumped him at Ed's feet. Roy looked particularly pleased with himself however, and had a dopey smile on his face as he listened to the support beams in his office start to give out.

"27."

Bending over and grabbing the Colonel's collar in much the same way Hawkeye had, Ed pulled Roy to his feet, nearly falling over himself as he did so. Hawkeye had since joined the huddle around the radio, not even bothering to give Havoc and Fury the look.

"32."

Roy blinked at the other alchemist, apparently considering the merits of falling unconscious in his arms. Fortunately, the scowl on Edward's face quickly discouraged that idea, because Roy had the sinking feeling that if he did pass out, he would probably wake up in the fountain in the entrance hall.

"83."

The puppy had stopped slobbering on Breda, and had instead bounded of to piddle on their sole plant (purchased three days ago by Hawkeye following the incineration of the last one), which was wilting and dying already. Smoke was pouring out of Roy's office, the desk apparently in flames.

"19."

Not giving a damn that he was getting covered in soot, and that his clothes were probably starting to melt from standing in the doorway, Ed, using the handy detail that he had Roy by the collar, pulled Mustang down to his level and kissed him. No one noticed, as there were only two numbers left. Farman, Breda, Hawkeye, Fury, and Roy had already lost, some of them even when the first number was called, but Havoc was getting more and more excited, because he already had five of the seven numbers.

"45."

Havoc had his arms wrapped around Fury, and was squeezing him until Fury thought his eyes might just pop right out. He could understand Havoc's excitement though, it wasn't everyday you had a chance to win the lottery. Fanning himself and gasping for air, Fury frowned. Was it just him, or was it hot in here?

"77."

Havoc pushed Fury off his lap, got to his feet, and grabbed the lamp next to his desk. As he bashed the radio with the stand, the door to the hallway opened again, but no one came in, their visitor instead just standing in the doorway, staring at the spectacle before him in disbelief.

There was smoke billowing into the outer office, the Colonel's office up in flames, a Second Lieutenant was beating the living daylights out of a poor unsuspecting radio, a First Lieutenant emptying her sidearm into the ceiling in an attempt to restore order, a puppy relieving itself on a house plant…

Not to mention the Colonel and what appeared to be a civilian with two automail limbs kissing in the burning doorway.

Sometimes it took a little longer than usual for the office to calm down enough for everyone to actually start their work. This happened for various reasons, a few of such being a visit from outsiders, the wastebasket catching on fire, the radio being smashed, a wall being, uh, renovated, or a puppy/hamster/snake/fish/man-eating lion being brought into the office. That, or Edward Elric coming home from his latest adventure.

Of course, all the above was also possible.

The End

a/n: well, I hope that made at least some sense. I think I liked it, I'm not entirely sure. -grins- I'll have to get back to you on that one.