Not Just Partners

Ch 11

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Olivia couldn't get over the fact that Elliot had told her that he loved her. She had always known he cared about her, even when he'd been married to Kathy. When you are partners with someone you have to care about them in a certain way. She knew though, that she and Elliot's connection was deeper than Munch and Fin's. She had never thought he loved her though. She hadn't told him that she felt the same way. She knew emotions had been running high when he'd said that. Elliot had been gone almost fifteen minutes, she realized. Just as she was about to call the nurse's station to see if Elliot was anywhere around he walked through the door.

"Hey Liv. I'm sorry I took so long. I called to check up on the kids once I hung up with Fin," he told her. He knew in his head he was trying to avoid coming back to the room. After he'd told her he loved her, he hadn't known what to say.

"That's all right El. I was just sitting in here thinking about things." She knew he'd want to know what she was thinking about, but he was also smart enough to figure it out.

Elliot assumed she was thinking about his affirmation of love. He knew this would eat away at them if they didn't talk about it now though. "Liv, I didn't tell you I loved you to freak you out. It's just when I think about losing you, it scares the hell out of me. When I got Cragen's message it helped me admit what I'd been denying since you walked into the precinct six years ago. I was able to admit it to myself, so I figured I should tell you. I didn't expect to hear it back," he stopped and took a breath. The expression on Olivia's face was unreadable, but when he looked in her eyes he could see she felt the same way.

"Elliot," Olivia finally broke the silence that lasted two or three seconds, but seemed to go on forever. "I know you don't expect anything other than my honesty. That is just the type of person you are," she paused. " I've been trying to sort through all my feelings. I'm still not entirely sure exactly how I feel. I'm not ready to tell you I love you, but I do care about you very much. Can you understand where I'm coming from?" She asked.

"Liv you're right I do want nothing but your honesty, always. I do understand you need to sort through everything." He knew it took a lot for her to admit her feelings and he wasn't going to push this issue.

Olivia wanted to change the subject. She wasn't comfortable talking about her emotions. "So what did Fin say about the perp?"

"Not much. His name is James Bines. He's a carpenter. He says a buddy set it up with some other guy." Elliot hesitated. Fin had told him the perp had said the guy who it was et up with had been named Brandon or Brad. Elliot had immediately thought of Kathy's new boyfriend.

"What is it El? I know there's something you aren't telling me." She asked him.

" I think Kathy's boyfriend may have set it up." He hated that he had brought Kathy's psycho attitude into Olivia's life.

"What? Why would he do that?" She asked. Her confusion was obvious.

"Probably because of Kathy. She doesn't want me to be happy and she knows you are a major part of my happiness." He answered.

Just as Elliot finished, they heard a knock on the door.

"Hey Liv.," Munch said as he walked in. Fin wasn't far behind.

" Hey guys. Elliot told me you got the guy who put me in this damn place." She said.

"Yeah. We've been pulling your collars for the past 6 months seeing what we can find," Fin said.

They talked and joked for about an hour before the other two detectives had to leave.

" Well guys we got some stuff to work on. We just wanted to see how you were doing Olivia." Munch said.

"Thanks guys if you find out who ordered the hit call and leave a message on my cell." Elliot told them.

"Bye guys," Olivia said.

"Bye Olivia. Later Elliot," Fin and Munch replied.

Once they were gone Elliot turned to Olivia. "It's not going to do any good to pull your collars."

"We don't know that El. There's a chance Kathy had nothing to do with it." She told him. Although she wasn't entirely sure she believed that.

"Olivia I know you are doing this for my benefit, but don't," He told her.

"Doing what?" She asked.

"Pretending you don't believe this is Kathy's fault," He answered.

"You're right El. I am pretending or maybe it's hoping, but not just for your sake, but for the kids too." She paused before continuing. " When Kathy hurt Katie she did some serious damage to their relationship with her. If they knew their mother was capable of setting up a shooting it would be almost impossible for her to fix it."

"Liv you shouldn't worry about that. Kathy has already done irreparable damage to her relationship with my children." He told her.

"Elliot you shouldn't say it's irreparable damage. I've never told you my whole story, have I?" She questioned.

"What do you mean Liv?" He was confused. He could see this was difficult though.

"You know my mom drank a lot. Well when she drank she got angry. She would take the anger out on me." She hesitated. "She once broke two of my ribs." There were tears in her eyes as she finished telling Elliot this.

"Why didn't someone report it?" Elliot questioned. He stood from his seat in the chair beside her hospital bed. He bent down and wrapped his arms around her.

"Anytime someone mentioned the bruises I brushed it off as an accident. I guess I was such a great actress that they believed me." She hated being so emotionally exposed, but she knew Elliot wouldn't think of her any differently.

"Liv sweetie I am so sorry. I had no idea that it was so horrible for you." His voice was muffled by her hair since he was still holding her.

"Noone did El. Well at least not until recently." She felt so safe in Elliot's arms.

"Who'd you tell?" He questioned.

"Katie. I'm not sure if she actually heard it though. It was while she was in her coma," She told him.

"So I am the first coherent person you've told?" He questioned.

"Yeah. It feels good to have finally told someone. When we work those case where the parent is abusive it tears me up." She told him. She knew she should break the embrace, but she couldn't. She'd never felt so safe and happy.

"Liv you can tell me anything. When we work those cases talk to me. I will be there for you. Ok?" He asked.

"I know I can count on you El, but I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable," she answered.

"Olivia, weak is not a word I would use to describe you. You are one of the bravest people I know. As for being vulnerable that just means you're human." He told her. He started to break the embrace, but Olivia stopped him.

"El can you just hold me tonight? It's been a long and stressful couple weeks. I just need to feel safe." She smiled and moved over on the bed to make room for him.

"Sure Liv." He smiled and climbed in to the bed with her. He wrapped his arms around her as she rolled on to her side to face him. She laid her head on his chest. She knew she would never feel as safe as she did right now.

"Night Liv," he said and brushed a kiss across the top of her head.

"Night El," she replied.