Angel of the North
Part 3- Angel
It was mid afternoon and the sun was still high in the sky. Chakotay sat at a table outside the café with his daughter sat opposite him, delightedly sipping away at her banana milk shake. Personally he hated banana, and so only took a sip when offered some, to avoid hurting Taya's feelings. He had followed that sip with a large gulp of coffee to override the taste of the yellow milk substance.
"So when are you doing this play?" he asked, feeling a little guilty as he was only half listening to her talk.
"Two weeks," she replied with a smile, blissfully unaware of her father's divided attention.
Much of his concentration was centred on his son lying in hospital; the doctors had spoken to him and Kathryn that morning, and explained that if he didn't wake up within the next few days, then the chances of him ever waking up became less and less. However, whilst worrying about this, Chakotay was still able to grasp the gist of what his daughter was saying; she was going to play a fairy, or an angel (he couldn't entirely remember which, but it had wings) in a school play or production of some sort. There was to be singing, some very badly done acting, and most importantly, various amusing costumes.
"Daddy, will you come and see me be an angel?" she broke him from his thoughts.
He looked across at her, the promise that he would be there on the tip of his lips, before he stopped himself, realising that in two weeks he might be back on Trobhan, back in charge of the excavation. "I'd don't know honey," he said honestly, "I'd like to."
"So you'll be there?" she assumed with a smile.
Chakotay paused, seeing the delighted look on her face, and for a moment, she looked so like her mother that it took his breath away. "Sure," the word tumbled from his lips, and there was nothing he could do to stop it, all he wanted to do was make her happy, and he knew that just giving her that small fraction of his time would do that.
Her smile widened, and she sipped some more of her milk shake. He watched fascinated as her smile fell, and a frown over came her face, which was another exact replication of one of Kathryn's expressions, and like Kathryn, he could tell that Taya had entered a thoughtful mode. She looked up at him with those big brown eyes that said more than all the words she would ever learn ever could, and asked: "when will Ryan get better?"
"Soon," Chakotay said confidently.
"Then why does mummy keep crying?" she was genuinely confused.
That had him for a moment. "Do you ever cry when you graze your knee?" he asked slowly.
Taya shrugged, "sometimes."
"Would you cry if your favourite toy went missing?" he went on.
"I guess," she said slowly, not entirely sure what her dad was getting at.
"But you know that your knee will get better, and you know that mummy will find your favourite toy don't you?" She nodded, "so why do you cry?"
"Because it hurts, and I don't know where Lacy Stacie is," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
He reached across the table, and tucked some of her soft long black hair behind her ear, "then maybe that's why mummy cries; because when you or your brothers get hurt, she hurts as well, and she's not entirely sure where Ryan is at the moment."
She looked up at him, understanding a little better than before what was going on, but still too young to completely comprehend. "Is that why she cried when you were gone?" she asked, "because she thought that you were lost."
"Maybe," he said, although he could think of other reasons as well.
They finished their drinks, and took a walk back through the park, arriving eventually at Tom Paris's home. Tom was a good friend of theirs; he had been forced into Chakotay's life, when Kathryn insisted on him taking a position onboard a ship they were commanding together. Tom had been in a bit of trouble, and served time in prison for it, but with him being the son of one of Kathryn's former Captains, she had felt some obligation towards the young pilot.
Initially Tom's roll had been merely that of observation, he had done some Cardassian recon in his time in StarFleet, and was asked to help locate a Cardassian ship that was thought to be causing trouble in the region of space their ship was patrolling. They were caught in an ambush, by the Cardassian vessel, and their ship was heavily damaged, killing their pilot in the process. Although they had managed to destroy the attacking vessel, their sensors had shown that more were on their way. Kathryn had sent Tom to the helm, and with his help they had evaded the Cardassian ships.
That had been eight years ago. They had returned to Earth, and Tom was released from prison. Although Kathryn's petition to get him assigned to their ship had failed, Tom was again on good terms with StarFleet, and quickly found himself work.
A month after that disastrous mission, StarFleet had announced its plans to sign a treaty with Cardassia, and Chaktoay had resigned his commission. He had stuck it out in StarFleet when his home world had been destroyed two years previously, in the hope that something would be done about it, but that had been the final straw for him. Kathryn had understood, in her own way, and supported his stand, but found that her feelings against the Cardassians weren't so strong, and so she couldn't do as he had done.
He had talked with her about joining the Maquis at that time, she had been less understanding towards that, but when she realised that standing against those that had killed many of his family was so important to him, she had said she would support such a move. In the end he had decided against it, realising that the family he had was more valuable than a family he had lost. So he had gone back to university and studied palaeontology, a move that had brought him closer to his two sons.
The door to Tom's apartment opened and Tom beamed at Taya and Chakotay when he saw them. "Hey," he greeted, "you two have fun?"
Taya smiled and went over to her godfather, who happily picked her up, holding her securely against his side. "You want to come in for a drink?" he offered his former commander.
Chakotay shook his head, "no, but thanks; I promised Kathryn that I would meet her at the hospital to check on how Ryan's doing."
Tom's face became more sombre, "and how is he doing?"
The older one shrugged, "he's not getting better, but then he's not getting worse, and I'm thankful for that at the moment."
The pilot nodded, "well I'll see you later then," he said, clasping him on the shoulder.
"Yeah," Chakotay said, turning his attention to his daughter, "I'll see you later angel," he said kissing her forehead.
She giggled, getting his double meaning, "bye daddy."
"Bye Tom," he gave his friend one last look before heading back down the corridor.
Tom watched him leaving for a moment longer, before turning back to Taya, "so what do you want for dinner?" he asked, disappearing back inside his apartment.
How Chakotay and Tom had become friends was a long story, but to put it short: when Chakotay had left StarFleet, quite a few of his so called friends had decided that it wouldn't be in their best interests to remain friends with a StarFleet drop out. Tom knew this, and so decided to make it his personal business, to befriend the husband of the woman who had more or less saved him from himself. They had gone to bars together, set up a few barbeques in the summer for the two of them, Aaron and Ryan, and eventually discovered a joint love of boxing, and before long they were boxing in the holodeck with one another, and going to watch games together, that had later expanded into many other sports.
When StarFleet and the Cardassians had eventually gone to war, some three years later, Kathryn's request to get Tom and Chakotay on board her new galaxy class ship had worked, and not before long the three of them were working together. The decision to make Tom Taya's godfather was a natural progression of that. Their daughter was only a few months old at the time StarFleet had gone to war, and thinking that the chances of all three of them being killed at the same time were quite small, it was agreed that should the worst happen to Kathryn and Chakotay, that Tom should take care of Taya and the boys.
Kathryn looked up tiredly when Chaktoay entered the hospital room, "you look terrible," he said, making his way inside, seeing her slouched in a chair, a cold coffee enveloped in her hands.
"Thanks," she gave him a sarcastic smile, "but you've seen better days yourself."
He crossed his arms and held a smile for a few seconds longer, before his expression softened, "go home Kathryn, get some rest."
She pinched the bridge of her nose, fighting back the tiredness, "I can't," she choked out, "he might wake; I need to be here if he does."
Chakotay closed the gap between them, "Ryan needs his mother to be awake and alert when he comes out of this coma," he insisted as he crouched down in front of her and took her hands in his.
She knew what he was saying was right; the last thing their son needed, was to wake up and realise that his mother was worse off than him. She nodded defeat.
"Let me take you out to dinner, we can go to that French place you like, and then I'll take you back home so you can get some sleep," he suggested.
It sounded like a plan, and Kathryn knew from experience, that when everything started to fall apart, a plan was the only way out. She smiled up at him, and giving Ryan one last kiss on the forehead, they left the hospital together.
Dinner went well. She hadn't realised how hungry she was until their food had arrived, and she had managed to clear her plate with no help from Chakotay. They had skipped pudding, as they had always normally done, and went right onto the coffees. During that meal together, the two of them were able to come to some sort of closure over those eight months apart, and the time they had served together during the Dominion and Cardassian war. They had talked it over, and spent a great deal of time saying sorry for both of their actions. Kathryn apologised for abusing her position as both his Captain and wife, and he had apologised for giving up on her and walking out on their family.
As promised he walked her home, back to the same home that he hadn't seen for eight months; the home that he had left. They stood outside the front door for a few moments, enjoying the silence, until a tension built that became awkward, and they both realised that they didn't want the evening to end there. "Would you like to come in?" she made the first move.
He looked up at the house, all the lights were off, and he wondered for a brief moment whether or not Aaron was home. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked in a tone that sent a shiver down her spine.
Their eyes locked, and suddenly she was lost in the dark depth of them; she saw the passion, the lust and a love so deep that sometimes she thought she could drown in it, but then she saw the security and compassion and she knew she was safe with him. She reached out, and tenderly touched his face, catching a flicker of hurt and distance in his eyes that made her understand the true depth to what he had said; he was worried that she was just using him, that again it might not work out between the two of them, and so she made a silent vow not to let him go so easily second time round. "I want to spend the night with you Chakotay. I want us to make love and I want to wake up beside you tomorrow morning."
He reached up, and covered her hand with his, "and what happens after that?"
The edge of her classic quirky grin crept onto her face, "marriage, kids, the usual stuff."
He smiled back, and understood why she wasn't making an promises; this wasn't about making a future, this was about remembering the past. No more words needed to be said, as he turned his face in her hand, and kissed her palm. Slowly, and painfully tenderly, he took her into his arms, and pressed his lips gently to hers. She felt him deepening the kiss, and so placed a hand on his chest making him pull back instinctively, to watch as she reached out to open the front door, and soon they were making their way up to the bedroom.
V
Chakotay woke the next morning, opened his eyes and was instantly aware of Kathryn lying beside him, already awake, and smiling across at him. He smiled back. "Morning," she greeted him.
"Morning," he leant forwards and kissed her briefly, but passionately on the lips, before looking over his shoulder, only to find that his bedside clock wasn't there.
"It's about nine," she informed him, knowing instinctively why he had turned his head.
"Thanks," he looked back across at her, "how long have you been awake?"
She shrugged, "not long," then a secretive smile came onto her face.
"What?" he asked.
Kathryn attempted to straighten her face, "nothing."
He raised an eyebrow, "tell me," he insisted, "or I'll tickle it out of you."
She physically moved back in the bed a little at the threat and giggled lightly, "it's nothing," she attempted to convince him. Then as he closed the gap between them and was seconds from tickling her, she gave in, "it's just you look so cute when you're sleeping… I'd almost forgotten."
Chakotay blinked once, then twice, then decided that the temptation to tickle her was too strong anyway.
Aaron innocently walked into his mothers room, only hearing her cries of laughter too late, turned back round, walked out of the door, and closed it behind himself, with a much louder slam than he meant to cause.
They both heard the door closing, and instantly stopped, Kathryn pushed Chaktoay off her and looked after the closed door, "Aaron," she called out after a few seconds, relieved that they were both hidden well beneath her bed sheets, "Az, was that you?"
There was a long pause, but eventually Aaron, who was still standing the other side of the door, leaning heavily on the wall behind him, attempting to recover from the shock of walking in on his mother with another man, called back, "sorry."
Again there was another pause of silence from both sides of the door, "was there something you wanted?" Kathryn asked loudly.
"Kind of," he replied.
Fed up of shouting through the door she invited him in, "it's okay, it's safe to come in now," she said as she pulled at the sheets to cover her more fully.
Hesitantly, the doors opened, and he entered looking round slowly at the bed. Seeing his dad there came as a big surprise, as he had half been expecting to see Brendan, having fortunately not gained a good look at what had been going on. "Hi dad," he said, for a moment not quite sure if he was actually seeing his parents in a bed together.
Chakotay smiled awkwardly across at his son.
"What did you want Aaron?" she got right to the point.
"Um," for a moment his mind blanked, before he pulled back the memory, "there's some doctor on the comm. that wants to speak with you."
Her impulse reaction was to get out of the bed and go answer the call, before she stopped herself, and looked expectantly across at her son, he eventually got the message without any exchange of words, and left the room, closing the door behind himself.
She took the communication in her office downstairs, wrapped in her pink silk dressing gown. "Doctor Frasier," she said, half aware of Chakotay entering through the open door, and standing by it with his arms crossed.
The woman looked hesitantly at Kathryn, "will you be coming into the hospital this morning?" she asked.
"Yes," the Admiral nodded slowly, "has something happened to Ryan?"
"I'll speak with you when you get here then," Frasier didn't answer the question, "bye for now."
Kathryn frowned, "bye," then the communication was cut from the other end, and the Federation symbol filled the screen.
Her eyes moved from the screen, and to the floor as she covered her mouth with her hand. "Something's happened to him Chakotay," she said after a while, still looking down at the polished floorboards.
He crossed the room, and stood by her chair, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off, and stood from her seat, "you know what Frasier's like; he's probably had to have another blood transfusion, and she's just being over dramatic about it."
"No Chakotay, I know something's happened; that look she gave me, I know that look," she said, moving over to the window and looking out across their front garden backing onto the street, "it's the same look I feel on my own face when I have to tell someone that a loved one of theirs has died under my command."
He wrapped his arms around her smaller frame, and tucked her head under his chin, "let's not jump to conclusions," he said into her hair, "we'll have breakfast, then go over to the hospital."
"What's happened to Ryan?" they both turned round at the sound of Aaron's voice.
"Nothing," Chakotay answered for the both of them, "just doctor Frasier wants to talk to the two of us about something."
"Then what's all this about?" he started angrily. They both frowned, and so he elaborated, "you two suddenly acting like- well- differently. What's happened to all of the hate, and the not speaking, and the angry looks?"
"You want us to go back to that?" his father asked calmly, his arms still wrapped securely around Kathryn.
"Yes!- I mean no- I mean, I don't want to be stuck in the middle again, I love you both, and I don't want everything to go back to how it was before you left." He stated.
"It won't," Kathryn said, covering her husband's hands with her own.
He looked at them for a moment longer, before deciding that he really didn't care, "well if you're going to the hospital, then so am I."
After exchanging a look, and silently agreeing that it was too much bother to force him into school, they nodded and went to grab a quick breakfast, showered and got dressed.
V
The walk through the hospital wards, for some reason, felt twice as long. They were directed to a waiting room, and waited for a few minutes until doctor Frasier found them, and asked to speak with Kathryn and Chakotay. Aaron was told to wait until they had finished speaking to the doctor, and this time did as he was told, realising that the last thing they needed, was more stress from him.
The small room consisted of a replicater, and twelve chairs. There was some man, about his father's age, sat in the corner, with his head leant to one side, supported by the wall, obviously asleep. Apart from that man, Aaron was alone. He got up and made his way to the replicater, annoyed to find, when his cappuccino eventually materialised, that for safety reasons, the drink had only been heated to a tepid temperature. He took a sip from the creamy coffee, before deciding that it just wasn't the same thing if it wasn't boiling hot, and recycled it.
He sat back down on the chair, and tapped his foot rhythmically for a few minutes, before deciding that he was bored of that. Overall, he was only in there alone for ten minutes, but each minute dragged on, and each second never seemed to want to follow the next. Eventually he heard people approach the door, and at first was relieved to see his parents enter. He watched their glum faces as they walked through the doors, and could see that his mother was on the verge of tears, although she seemed to be covering it up well.
"What's happened?" he felt his stomach knot several hundred times.
Chakotay, looked across at Aaron, and took a deep breath, "Ryan died last night," the words tripped over one another in his mouth.
"He's not dead," Kathryn contradicted as she sat down beside her son.
Aaron looked from his mother and back to his father, confused. "He went into arrest last night, when they eventually resuscitated him, his brain had been without oxygen for too long," he shook his head, "he's not going to wake up son."
Hearing his mother sob beside him, he turned his head, and instinctively placed a hand on her shoulder, Chakotay reacted just as quickly, and came to sit on the other side of her, pulling her body towards his own. She leant her forehead against his shoulder, and the tears flowed freely down her face. Chakotay wanted nothing more than to cry, but the numbness stopped him from doing so, and for the first time in his life, he felt nothing.
Aaron slouched heavily where he sat, his breathing heavy and erratic; his little brother couldn't be dead. It felt like only the day before, he and his brother had been on a sailing trip together, spending four days down in the Mediterranean until their food supplies had run out and they'd had to call their mum to come and save them. He refused to believe that they'd never do that again. He refused to believe that they'd never argue about holoprograms, or tennis scores, or salad cream and mayonnaise ever again. He felt sick, and feeling his stomach move up towards his throat, he staggered towards the toilets. Once in there, and in the privacy of a cubicle, he fell to his knees and threw up.
Chakotay had watched his son leave from the corner of his eye, and was torn; Aaron needed him, but then Kathryn needed him also, and so in his moment of indecisiveness, he stayed exactly where he was. Some moments passed, and Kathryn pulled back from her husband just enough to see his face, she reached up and placed a hand tenderly on his cheek, her eyebrows knotted, and her face filled with a pain that no amount of time would ever completely lift. Their eyes locked, and time seemed to stand still for Chakotay, until he heard her say the words: "we should…"
She broke down, unable to finished her sentence. He covered her hand with his own, and forced her to make eye contact again, "are you sure you're ready?"
The question just made her sob harder, "no," she said, attempting to pull away from him, but he wouldn't allow it, "convince me again that we have to do it."
He took in a deep breath, and summoned all of the courage that he could muster to say the words that she needed to hear, and that he needed to say. "Ryan can never come back to us Kathryn," he started with a shaky voice, and continued that way, "we need to let his spirit to move on, by allowing his body to die in this world."
She pressed her forehead to his shoulder, "do you really believe that?"
Gently, and rhythmically he passed his fingers through her long hair, giving them both the time to attempt to think clearly. "I love you, even though I cannot see or prove my love, I can only feel it. And so Ryan must still be with us, although I cannot see or prove it, I know I can still feel my love for him, and that's got to count for something."
Taking a deep long breath, she pulled away from him, wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand and nodded. "Find Aaron," she fell into command mode, and he was too weak to stop her, "he needs to be there."
He nodded, and they both stood. She went to find the doctor, and he went to find their son.
Aaron had long ago finished retching, and sat on the floor too stunned to move, with tears cascading silently down his cheeks. He was so lost in his own trance that he didn't hear someone enter the toilets and call his name several times, before stopping by the open door to his cubicle to stand and watch him for a few moments. Eventually Chakotay reached a hand forwards and placed a hand on his son's shoulder.
With the surprise of realising that he was not alone, Aaron jerked back violently, stood and turned around to see who was behind him in a matter of seconds. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," his father apologised softly.
Aaron hurriedly wiped the tears from his face, his breathing still ragged, "I just want to be alone," he half shouted, half cried.
"We're going to turn off Ryan's life support, your mother said that you should be there," he informed him steadily, surprising even himself with his own calmness.
For a moment the younger of the two was at a loss for what to do or say, "you can't," he said at last, having found his voice, "you can't kill him!"
Before Chaktoay could get a control on events, Aaron had pushed past him and was rushing out of the toilets and towards Ryan's room. "Aaron," Chakotay called after him as he went in pursuit of his son.
Kathryn sat on the side edge of her youngest son's bed, and studied his handsome face. His hair wasn't as dark as his father's, neither was his skin, but he was undoubtedly Chakotay's son. He got his large forehead from his dad, and the hairline that cut right across, framing the top of his face. She reached out and tenderly traced every part of his face with her fingers. His skin was still warm to the touch. On the outside he was his fathers son, but he'd grown up to think and act more like his mother.
Unlike Aaron and like his mother he was stubborn, determined to win at any cost, the top of his class in science related subjects, and the sort of person to take problems and worries, and roll them up into a little ball to place in the back of the mind. Maybe that's what had gone wrong, she thought as she ran her fingers through the hair that he'd grown a few inches since his father had left, as some sort of protest to be anything like Chakotay. Maybe, with no one to force him to open up, as Chakotay normally would have, he had resorted to self harm. She should have made more of an effort with him, then maybe…
The door behind her burst open and she turned her head to see Aaron burst through the doors.
"Mum, don't let them kill him," he pleaded, tears streaming down his face.
She opened her mouth to say that it was the right thing to do, but she couldn't bring herself to say the words. "I'm sorry," she said instead, breaking down into tears again herself.
The door to the room opened, and Chakotay and the Doctor entered. Aaron looked at them both for a moment, then back round at his mother, "please," he said between ragged breaths.
Kathryn held out her arm, and he went to it, crouching on his knees and holding her in a firm hug. She kissed the top of his head, and stroked his back with her palm. When she looked back up, the Doctor caught her eye, and asked a silent question. "Can you just hold on a minute?" she asked softly, and received a nod.
"Aaron, do you want to say goodbye to Ryan?" she asked, her voice sounding much calmer than she felt.
Aaron shook her head, "no, he's already gone," his voice was muffled as he leant against her.
Chakotay stepped forwards from the door, and went up to his youngest son. He leant over his son, and placed a hand on his head, and then a kiss on top of his hair. He wanted to say something, but couldn't think of words adequate enough to sum up an existence, and to apologise for a lifetime of mistakes, so he said nothing. He looked back at his wife, and she gave him a nod, moments later, Ryan's life support was turned off.
V
She was dressed in a long white dress than came down to her ankles, and she walked across the short cut grass bare foot. The top layer of her hair had been plaited behind her head, whilst the under layer flowed freely, moving gently in the soft breeze. She was looking around, searching the faces of the people in the crowd, until she saw Chakotay and gave him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Then she returned her attention to the task at hand, and her face became much more serious, but no less adorable.
The past couple of weeks had been difficult for everyone. Chakotay had informed his colleagues at the dig that he wouldn't be returning to finish it off, and he had taken a leave of absence from the university. No one had tried to talk him out of it, everyone knew what had happened.
There were many tears in those two weeks. Especially at the funeral. Gretchen, Kathryn's mother had been there, and had taken care of Taya, (who had not been too certain what was going on). Gretchen had explained to her granddaughter that they were there to bury and say goodbye to Ryan, but Taya didn't understand why they wanted to bury her brother beneath the soil, and had cried at the thought that he would be stuck and unable to get out.
Aaron had been withdrawn, and many nights hadn't bothered returning home. His parents had worried about it, but Chakotay told Kathryn not to worry after he had followed Aaron one night down to the beach, and watched him sit on the end of the peer for several hours. Everyone dealt with grief in different ways, and if Aaron needed to be alone, then Chakotay wasn't going to stop him.
Kathryn refused to stay still, to reflect on what had happened, and so kept herself busy. Chakotay let her, he knew that she was scared that if she stopped to think, then she would stop altogether. She was scared that she would break down, like she had when her father and the man she had been engaged to before she had met Chakotay, had died in a shuttle crash. She still never spoke of it, for fear that she would revert to her old habit of spending endless hours sleeping through the pain. Her husband worried she would do the same over their son's death, but he wasn't sure what he could do to help her.
No matter how people were now dealing with Ryan's death, one thing was certain; that they had all cried at one point. Either the moment they heard, or once the words had started to make sense. All except Chakotay. It wasn't that he was trying to keep a brave face; at night when Kathryn would turn to him in their bed, and cry into his shoulder, he wanted nothing more than to cry with her, but he couldn't. He saw pictures of his son, he saw his two remaining children cry, but still no tears came.
Now Chakotay watched her approach a boy of about ten, her wings bobbing up and down with each stop, "why are you crying?" she asked him, in a soft, carrying voice.
"Because I will never see Pick again," came the reply.
Kathryn leant across to him from the chair next to his, neither of their faces leaving the grass platform a few rows in front of them. "She looks perfect doesn't she?"
"But you don't have to see him, to know he will always be with you," she had remembered her lines correctly.
The boy frowned, "then how do I know if he's here or not?"
"Yes, she does," Chakotay said in a voice that was barely a whisper.
"He's in your heart silly," Yuna replied with a grin, and a few of the audience chuckled at the way she said it. Then, instead of explaining that she was the angel of the north, and she knew such things, she patted him on the shoulder, "don't worry," she told him, as if he was actually really upset.
The poor boy looked confused, and looked around at someone to step in and get their lines back on track. No one did, so he improvised, "are you and angel of the north?" he asked instead.
She seemed to remember what she was supposed to say, "yes," she said, looking a little panicked.
"Then I'll believe you," he held out his hand to her, and she took it, and they walked off the raised grass stage together, to receive a round of applause from the audience.
Kathryn put her hands together and smiled for the first time in some weeks, she turned to her husband to gage his reaction. He was looking straight ahead at the trees in the distance, tears now falling down his cheeks. She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it firmly, and he turned to face her. Their gazes met, and after a moment had passed, he gave her a small smile, which she soon returned, and then the moment was gone. He wiped the tears from his face, and watched absently as the rest of the children came onto the stage, to bow as the audience clapped once more for them.
He cried again that night, as he had lain in bed beside Kathryn. She had been sleepy, but had wrapped an arm around him, and told him that she loved him, and although the gesture was small, it was enough to sooth him. But after that night, he never again cried for Ryan.
The end.
