Response to a challenge at The Sam and Jack Fan Fic Challenge Archive

Ulterior Pursuits Where we left off:

"What?! That you have-a-a- a HUGE" said Jonas through laughs, "SIMPSONS collection?! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!" That was it. They *all* cracked up; even Jack.

"So much for that nephew, *sir*" Sam smirked.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* CHAPTER THREE*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When they had made *every* possible joke about Colonel Jack O'Neill having an entire room in his house dedicated to plastic Simpsons figurines and Krusty the Clown alarm clocks that went "Hey, Hey!" when they sounded, SG1, military officers with some of the highest security clearings ever, had breakfast.

"So what should we do today?" Jack questioned the group, "and shut-*up* Daniel!!!" Daniel burst into a silent fit of laughter.

"It's so hot out..." Sam thought out loud.

"Hey, I know! How bout the beach!"

"Great idea Jonas!" said Daniel. "And maybe," he started to hold back laughs, "Jack can lend us all some Homer trunks and some Comic Book Guy Towels!!! Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!"

Jack thought for a second. "Well actually..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * T*H E* *B *E *A *C *H * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jack, Teal'c, Jonas, and Daniel were all dressed in swimming trunks with a different character from the simpsons as they emerged from the men's changing room, each with a matching towel on his arm, and Teal'c with a hat. They were getting stares, too—not as many "hey look at the weirdos!" stares as "Hey! I want trunks like that" from the guys or "Oh my... look at *them*! Wonder how many hours a day each of them works out!" from the women and girls. They were all too busy putting on sun-tan lotion to notice Sam walk up.

"Hey guys," she said. All the guys, no seriously *all* the guys (except for Teal'c) were looking, no *gaping* at her. She was wearing a light blue string bikini top and dark with light blue board shorts. She lowered her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose when all of her companions were all too lost to respond. She turned to look behind her to see if she could see what the guys were staring at so fixedly, "what?"

"Hello Major Carter," Teal'c greeted, bowing his head then continuing to smear sun lotion over himself. The rest mumbled "hi" in embarrassment and followed suit.

Sam took a pair of flip-flops from her beach-bag, "good thing I decided to bring all this stuff. Hey, can we go do this down there?" She pointed towards the beach itself.

"Uh, yeah sure," said Jack, capping his lotion.

They walked down to the beach and set up their little station with five towels (four of which were drawn by Matt Groening), three large beach- umbrellas, five lawn chairs, and a large red cooler containing beverages they'd bought on the *long* drive to the beach.

"Hey, I'm going to get ice cream," said Daniel, "anyone want any?" Soon Daniel and Teal'c were headed back up to the boardwalk to get 5 ice creams and 3 hot dogs for their team-mates (Teal'c had to come along because Daniel couldn't possibly have carried all the food on his own). When they got to one of the ice cream vendors, they had to wait on the long line. Finally, they got to the front, and received their (terribly over-priced) order. Teal'c (holding three ice cream cones) and Daniel (carrying two cones and a bag of hot dogs) were walking back to the others when *SMACK* about 4 football players just rammed right into the two SG1 members. The husky ball-players were apparently in a big hurry because whenever someone was in their way, they just walked right into them. Teal'c and Daniel were very upset by this because when they had been rammed into, the bag of hot dogs fell to the floor and were stomped on, Daniel's ice creams went into his face, and the ones Teal'c were carrying went flying. This meant that they would have to stand on the line for another 10 minutes and then pay another eighteen dollars plus tax for the food.

"And to think we risk our lives for people like..." he turned around to Teal'c.

Teal'c, being the quick-study that he is, turned right around to those nasty football players and gave them... the finger!

"Teal'c!!!" said Daniel, exasperatedly. "Don't do that!!!! That's horrible!!"

"But, Daniel Jackson, you told us before that the people of the Tau'ri often do that when one person offends another?"

"Well, *yes*, but..." Daniel hoped that no one had seen that. "it's *extremely* rude... just *don't * do it again!!"

Teal'c bowed his head, "apologies, Daniel Jackson."

"No need," Daniel smiled. "Now let's get back to the others and tell them what happened. We're not going back there without them...can carry their own food..."

A/N: Okay so maybe there's not a beach near Jack's cabin. Use your imagination! Lolz. This was a funny chapter... not enough *suggestion* if you ask me (LMAO) there will be in the next one, and there'll be Jack/Sam stuff, too. Sorry this chapter was so short, but I have a ton of school work. The next one'll be really long, I promise ;)

Preview

"Ah! Home, sweet, ho—" Jack stopped short. He was presently having a fight with the light-switch... and the switch was winning. "Oh wonderful, the power's out!" There was a collective groan from Sg1.

!******1**hour**later*******!

"Who knew I'd ever have to drive an hour to get to a McDonald's?"