I do not own Harry Potter. This world belongs to the notable J.K. Rowling. I do, however, own this story and my original characters.
Chapter 37: The Night Before
It had snowed again that night, which made for heavy going when they all trooped out in their quest for a tree. The sun shone glaringly in their eyes when they first stepped outside. Wrapped in heavy cloaks and with their breaths misting the air in front of their faces, they followed Remus into the forest surrounding his home. To make the time pass more quickly and enjoyably, Tainn and Sarven engaged each other in a word game. Harry wasn't entirely sure what the rules were aside from starting each sentence with the word that ended the one before.
They tromped below the trees as they continued their little game.
"Though fairies are attracted by light." Tainn was saying.
"Light attracts many creatures, like moths to flame," Sarven continued.
"Flame is harmless to those who know the spell."
"Spell quintessence and tell me its meaning."
"Meaning what with that odd word, I ask."
"Ask not for answers when you may not like what I say."
"Say, are those evergreens ahead?"
"Ahead of you, or ahead of me?"
"Me...methinks..."
"Will you two cut it out?" Tala said wearily.
"Out? Aunt Tally broke the circle!" Tainn crowed.
"Circle breaking is punishable by snowballs." Sarven smiled. At his words several snowballs formed out of the drifts and pelted Tala about the shoulders.
"Snowballs? Now it's on!" She yelled as more snowballs formed. They flew towards the two young men with negligible aim, and a snow fight ensued.
Harry darted behind a tree to avoid friendly fire from both sides of the battle. He ducked to form his own snowballs then, with a whoop, leapt into the fray. Ginny had the most deadly aim, he noted, followed closely by Remus, who seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.
When everyone was very wet, very cold, and covered from head to toe in snow, the fight ended with no clear victor. Remus, red-faced and chuckling, called their attention back to the task at hand, and they walked on towards the trees that Tainn had noted earlier.
"Split up, but don't go far. Shoot up sparks if you see one that will do." Remus instructed them all. They separated, Harry finding himself with Ron and Tainn. He wandered along, looking at trees but not really knowing quite what he was looking for.
"The prefect tree," Tainn told them as they trudged among the trees, "Is not too tall, nor too stout. It should be fairly uniform on all its sides. It should stand straight and have the perfect top to hold a star..." He looked around at all the surrounding trees - there were a lot of them - and grinned, "Shouldn't be too hard."
"Couldn't we find an alright one and transfigure it to be perfect?" Ron asked.
Tainn looked scandalized, "But what would be the fun in taking any old tree?"
Harry thought that taking a tree and fixing it was probably what the Weasleys usually did for Christmas, as perfect trees were bound to be expensive. But he didn't comment.
They found quite a few trees that Harry thought were quite nice, but Tainn rejected them all. That one was too short, that too thin, that too scruffy...Harry thought he was going a bit too far when he said that one resembled Harry's head too much.
They were rescued when Ron caught the sight of green sparks above the treetops. Tainn looked disappointed, but aside from a comment of, "Careful of that bowtruckle," he wandered off on that direction, following Ron, who seemed eager to escape.
Harry, confused, looked over his shoulder, and saw it watching him from a tree that he hadn't really noticed. The stick-like creature scampered up and lost itself among the branches. Now that he looked at it more closely he saw that the branches of this particular tree were almost unnaturally straight, the bark somehow richer than the trees surrounding it. He pondered it for a moment, but Ron's call of, "Hurry up, mate." Sent him floundering after his red-headed friend.
He caught up to them just as they were entering the clearing from which the sparks emanated. The tree was, in Harry's opinion, really quite perfect. It stood in the middle of a clearing with quite a few saplings surrounding it.
Tainn was circling the tree and nodding approval. Tala glanced at Remus, who had just arrived with Hermione in tow - knowing Hermione, Harry guessed that they had discussed something like ancient runes more than looking for trees - and he smiled in approval of their choice.
"We stumbled across it, really." Ginny informed Remus, "Tala said she wanted to wait for you before using the severing charm on it, though."
"That's fine. You needn't have waited." Remus told her.
The tree was felled in short order, and Tainn and Sarven started the process of levitating it through the woods, followed by the girls. Harry started to trail after them but stopped when he realized that Remus wasn't following. He hesitated then quietly doubled back. Remus was kneeling in the snow where their tree had stood, his wand in hand.
"Excavo" He murmured, pointing his wand at the ground, and a small hole appeared in the snow and earth, exposing a root. Harry came a bit nearer, and Remus looked up. "Harry, this might interest you." He said lightly, waving him closer. "I always do this when a tree is removed."
Harry crouched beside his former professor as he cupped his hand over the exposed root and said a few words so low that Harry almost could not hear them. "Arborus florisa." He removed his hand and stepped back beside Harry. Where the root had been exposed there was now a tiny seedling, and as Harry and Remus watched it grew until it was nearly the same size as the other saplings in the clearing.
Harry did indeed find it quite interesting, and he smiled back at Remus' expression. He realized with a start that he was now nearly as tall as his former professor, and wondered when that had happened.
"Shall we go, Harry?" Remus asked.
"Sure. What exactly did you do, anyways?" Harry replied as they followed the trampled trail through the snow that the others had made.
"A growth charm." Remus replied, "These trees..." He gestured around him, "...bring me some income. Dumbledore purchases most of the Christmas trees for Hogwarts from me, and occasionally Ollivander wants some wand quality wood. It's not much, but..." He trailed off, seemingly embarrassed. He didn't need to be. Harry understood, just as he did with Ron, what it was like to not have much. Before he had discovered the vault in Gringotts that contained his inheritance, he had been in much the same situation.
The two of them arrived at the cottage just as the others were contemplating the best way to get the tree inside and were sufficiently distracted from further conversation.
Decorating the tree proved a diverting experience, it came close to toppling once or twice, eliciting hasty rescue measures on some of the glass ornaments. The ornaments, to Harry's eye, looked very old and he thought Aunt Petunia, who liked antique ornaments to the extent that she had banned Harry from the sitting room every Christmas since she could not trust him to walk by without shattering them, would give her eyeteeth to procure them. The sight of Tainn juggling them was strangely gratifying.
Finally, all that was left was the star.
"Youngest has the duty." Remus said over his shoulder as he bent over the box, carefully unwrapping it. He stood, holding the tree topper carefully in his hands. It was very pretty and delicate, with four crystal stars surrounding a central one, topped with a crescent moon. It seemed to pull all the light from the room into itself, and glowed as Remus presented it to the youngest in the room, "Ginny, if you would?"
Ginny grinned, turning a bit red along her cheekbones, but she took it from him, holding it carefully. The she looked at the tree, which was too tall for her to easily reach the top.
"Chair!" Tainn announced, floating one in from the kitchen. "My dear." He grinned, presenting it to her with a flourish.
She climbed up and as the chair wobbled Harry grabbed the back to steady it. Then the star was in place and all the tiny crystals and cold-burning candles lit up, casting their twinkling light onto the room.
Harry stared up at Ginny as she turned to climb down. Their eyes met and held for what seemed like forever to Harry's time sense. He tried to smile at her and managed somewhat, but no answering smile graced her face. If not for the intensive hold of her brown eyes he wouldn't have felt any hope. But he felt it, and knew he couldn't give up on them. The moment ended, and Harry carried the chair back to the kitchen.
Much later Harry woke with a start and found that he had fallen asleep on the couch in the sitting room. He rubbed his hands through his hair and over his face, finding that someone had kindly removed his glasses for him. He reached out and found them on a small scuffed table. He supposed, as he put them on and sat up, that the combination of accumulated insomnia, soft music, warm fire, and quiet conversation had helped to send him to sleep.
The last thing he remembered was turning down an invitation to string popcorn and settling down to watch as Ginny, Hermione and Texi created long ropes of it to drape on the trees outside; it was for the birds, Texi told him. Remus had been sitting in one of the beat-up old armchairs, Tala sitting on the floor and resting her head against his knee. Ron and Sarven had been hunched over a chessboard with mismatched pieces, Tainn giving them advice. But now he supposed that they had all gone to bed.
Harry looked over to the fire and realized with a start that he was not the only one remaining in the room.
Remus was still sitting in his battered and patched armchair, holding a goblet. As Harry watched he took up a poker and leaned forward to shift the smoldering logs in the fireplace, the sparks that rose illuminating the lines on his young face and the silver in his light brown hair. He replaced the poker and leaned back, looking into the fire with ruminative eyes. Then his gaze lifted to the pictures lining the mantelpiece.
Harry leaned forward on the couch, trying to see. The pictures were all in shadow, but he got the impression that Remus had looked at them for so long that he knew what was in them even without seeing them. Harry made a quick decision and stood.
Remus started and looked around. "Harry! I was just thinking about waking you. That sofa is only comfortable for so long."
Harry looked at him, his brow furrowed, then walked to the mantle and picked up a picture containing four very young men, perhaps still in school. One was standing very upright and smiling at the camera. His black hair stuck up in all directions, and Harry knew he looked just like him. His eyes moved between the others, and Harry had the impression he was talking through his teeth.
On one side of James was a quiet looking young man with light brown hair, his arms folded across his chest. Harry smiled as he watched the young Remus slowly and deliberately crossing his eyes, first the right, then the left then both together.
Then Harry scowled as he looked at the young, round face of Wormtail, smiling almost sheepishly. He moved on quickly.
On James' other side another black-haired young man was leaning in towards him, his hands reaching up and giving Harry's father antlers with his fingers. He was grinning in a roguish way, his black hair falling elegantly before his eyes. As Harry watched he tossed his head back and laughed. Harry could almost hear him; that bark of a laugh was something he missed horribly if he allowed himself to dwell on it.
"You look happy." He said to Remus, who had watched silently as Harry perused the picture.
"That was the first day of classes in seventh year." Remus told him quietly. "Lily took the picture; she said she wanted a good shot to put on the wanted posters." His smile was tinged with nostalgia.
Harry smiled sadly as well. He wished he had known his mother; she seemed to have been a very good person. Harry replaced the picture on the mantle, looking over the rest. Other than a picture of Remus and Tala's wedding day, all the pictures seemed quite old. Harry was conscious of Remus' eyes on his back, and was just about to turn away when a flash of bright blue in one of the pictures in the back row caught his eye.
As Harry reached towards it, he heard Remus make a sudden movement, and he hurriedly plucked the picture out before he could be stopped. It was a small photo, unframed. In it was a young Sirius, his arms wrapped around an equally young girl with clouds of curly golden hair. He nuzzled her ear and she laughed, pushing him away.
Harry clutched the picture, turning to see Remus settling back into his chair, a defeated look flickering briefly across his face.
"I know this woman," Harry said accusingly. "I've seen her before. I even TOLD you about her."
"I know." Remus replied quietly.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Harry said angrily. "If you knew..."
Remus looked past him at the fire, apparently doing some quick thinking. "It wasn't so simple, Harry." He looked up and Harry could see the sadness in his eyes. "Have a seat if you really want to talk about this." He took his wand and levitated a chair over to face his. "I'll try to answer."
Harry thought, sitting gingerly, "In the letter, the message they sent you," Remus briefly and unconsciously touched his hand to a point near his heart. "My d-dad said something about Sirius wanting to get married once."
"Yes, yes he did." Remus admitted with some reluctance.
"Will you tell me about her?"
Remus leaned back in his chair, the light from the candles adorning the Christmas tree glittering in his eyes and catching the golden flecks within the hazel until he closed them briefly. Harry couldn't tell if it was merely to gather his thoughts, or for some other reason. He sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair, then looked at Harry, his lined face grave.
"Vega O'Connelly. That was her name." He said finally, his voice as grave as his face. "She was...one of those naturally beautiful people, her face, her spirit, her personality." He glanced at the picture in Harry's hand, then leaned back in his chair with a sigh, tenting his fingers over his thin stomach. "She was several years younger than us, a first year when we were in fourth." He half-smiled. "She was a tiny little thing, smaller even than young Colin Creevy. Sirius, for his own reasons, took her under his wing, becoming sort of her knight protector. That's what she called him, her Sir Knight. He called her Twinkle.
"She was a half-blood - her father a muggle astronomer and her mother a wizarding one - which did not sit well with his family, and she had a single brother named Orion who also turned out to be a wizard." His eyes closed again, very briefly, then he looked straight at Harry, "These are not things that should be talked about during the Holiday."
Harry shook his head stubbornly. "I want to know."
"If you're certain." Remus told him warningly.
"I am." He said, implacable.
"It was our sixth year, and she was a third year," Harry nodded, "when it happened. We were all in the common room, blissfully unaware that anything was wrong, until Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall came in." His voice shook before he could bring it under control. "It is difficult to describe the feelings that charged through the room at that moment. It was, after all during the time of Voldemort's rise to power."
His head bowed, the silver streaks in his hair glinting in the candlelight. "They said they needed to talk to her. They, they didn't want to tell her in front of us. But she knew, she knew, and she tried to talk herself into believing that she really didn't, louder and louder, finally screaming it. She fainted into Padfoot's arms, and then they took her away. She was gone for over a week.
"She was changed after that." He continued.
"What...?" Harry was reluctant to finish the question but he felt he needed to say something. "He killed them."
"Yes, his Death Eaters waited until Orion was home, then went in and killed him when he tried to protect his parents. He was a very good wizard, Harry, but..." He shook his head. "All three of them dead, the house destroyed."
Harry suddenly felt a kinship to this woman who was no more than a shadow in his past. "Then what?"
"Sirius was at her side whenever it was possible for those last years, but then we graduated, and she was on her own. She withdrew from everything, I hear, when Sirius wasn't there. Only he could bring her out, get her to show what a beautiful person she was." He cleared his throat softly. "The last time, as far as I know, they saw each other was at your parent's wedding. She was in her last years at Hogwarts, and they planned to marry when she left school."
He fell silent for a few minutes, so long that Harry thought he had fallen back into old memories of happier times and couldn't be roused. Finally he sat up in his chair, his back tense. "You know what happened then."
Harry nodded, he indeed knew, knew all too well. "What happened to her?"
"She left the country. " He waved a general hand.
"So she's gone?" Harry asked; feeling dejected for reasons he couldn't quite pinpoint. "But I thought..."
Remus said, almost reluctantly. "I have seen her a couple of times, when she was in the area. She never stays in one place very long, I assume." He passed a hand across his face. "She happened to be here when, when it happened. I was the one who told her." Now Harry could see tears glittering in candlelit eyes, though the professor was staring at the tree, and Harry could only see him in profile. "It was one of the hardest things I have ever done."
Harry was not sorry he had asked, but he was sorry for dredging up bad memories for Remus. He reached out and touched his professor's arm lightly. "Thank you for telling me, Remus. I think it was something I needed to know." He resisted the urge to continue with the fact that he should have been told sooner.
"I'm glad, Harry." Remus replied, patting his hand. "It's difficult for me," He admitted, "Thinking of those times, when my friends were alive and happy, or generally happy. But I think it is good for me to remember so I can sometimes forget."
Harry felt that the werewolf was opening himself up to him as he very rarely did, and to only a few. Harry suspected that Tala had seen this side of him often, but he no longer had his friends to confide in.
Remus stood up, his knuckles white on the goblet he clutched in his hand. "I think I'll have some more eggnog before I go to bed, Harry, would you care for a cup?" Harry shook his head, standing as well.
"I think I'll go get some sleep." Harry told him. Remus smiled his mild smile, before starting to turn away. "Remus?" He said suddenly. His former professor turned back, his face questioning.
Harry didn't give it much thought, he just acted, stepping forward and giving his former professor and present friend a hug. He felt Remus stiffen for a second, before relaxing and enveloping him in his arms in a fatherly embrace. Then they parted, and Remus held Harry at arm's length.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time." Remus said, his voice thick. "I wanted to when you were small enough to really hug, to pick up, and to teach you to fly a broom, and to watch you grow up more than the glimpses I caught of you. But I was, and am, and will likely continue to be a werewolf. I couldn't have cared for you, and would always have been afraid..." He released Harry, and turned away. "I wanted to take you in, Harry." He hesitated, "So did Vega. And I hope you don't hold it against us that we let Dumbledore convince us to leave you with the Dursleys."
Harry saw shoulders tighten beneath his worn robes, and knew those words for completely true.
"Sure you won't have some eggnog, Harry?"
"No, thank you Remus." Harry replied, suddenly feeling shy. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Harry." Remus replied without turning around, his voice sounding strange before he walked into the kitchen.
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Chapter 37: The Night Before
It had snowed again that night, which made for heavy going when they all trooped out in their quest for a tree. The sun shone glaringly in their eyes when they first stepped outside. Wrapped in heavy cloaks and with their breaths misting the air in front of their faces, they followed Remus into the forest surrounding his home. To make the time pass more quickly and enjoyably, Tainn and Sarven engaged each other in a word game. Harry wasn't entirely sure what the rules were aside from starting each sentence with the word that ended the one before.
They tromped below the trees as they continued their little game.
"Though fairies are attracted by light." Tainn was saying.
"Light attracts many creatures, like moths to flame," Sarven continued.
"Flame is harmless to those who know the spell."
"Spell quintessence and tell me its meaning."
"Meaning what with that odd word, I ask."
"Ask not for answers when you may not like what I say."
"Say, are those evergreens ahead?"
"Ahead of you, or ahead of me?"
"Me...methinks..."
"Will you two cut it out?" Tala said wearily.
"Out? Aunt Tally broke the circle!" Tainn crowed.
"Circle breaking is punishable by snowballs." Sarven smiled. At his words several snowballs formed out of the drifts and pelted Tala about the shoulders.
"Snowballs? Now it's on!" She yelled as more snowballs formed. They flew towards the two young men with negligible aim, and a snow fight ensued.
Harry darted behind a tree to avoid friendly fire from both sides of the battle. He ducked to form his own snowballs then, with a whoop, leapt into the fray. Ginny had the most deadly aim, he noted, followed closely by Remus, who seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.
When everyone was very wet, very cold, and covered from head to toe in snow, the fight ended with no clear victor. Remus, red-faced and chuckling, called their attention back to the task at hand, and they walked on towards the trees that Tainn had noted earlier.
"Split up, but don't go far. Shoot up sparks if you see one that will do." Remus instructed them all. They separated, Harry finding himself with Ron and Tainn. He wandered along, looking at trees but not really knowing quite what he was looking for.
"The prefect tree," Tainn told them as they trudged among the trees, "Is not too tall, nor too stout. It should be fairly uniform on all its sides. It should stand straight and have the perfect top to hold a star..." He looked around at all the surrounding trees - there were a lot of them - and grinned, "Shouldn't be too hard."
"Couldn't we find an alright one and transfigure it to be perfect?" Ron asked.
Tainn looked scandalized, "But what would be the fun in taking any old tree?"
Harry thought that taking a tree and fixing it was probably what the Weasleys usually did for Christmas, as perfect trees were bound to be expensive. But he didn't comment.
They found quite a few trees that Harry thought were quite nice, but Tainn rejected them all. That one was too short, that too thin, that too scruffy...Harry thought he was going a bit too far when he said that one resembled Harry's head too much.
They were rescued when Ron caught the sight of green sparks above the treetops. Tainn looked disappointed, but aside from a comment of, "Careful of that bowtruckle," he wandered off on that direction, following Ron, who seemed eager to escape.
Harry, confused, looked over his shoulder, and saw it watching him from a tree that he hadn't really noticed. The stick-like creature scampered up and lost itself among the branches. Now that he looked at it more closely he saw that the branches of this particular tree were almost unnaturally straight, the bark somehow richer than the trees surrounding it. He pondered it for a moment, but Ron's call of, "Hurry up, mate." Sent him floundering after his red-headed friend.
He caught up to them just as they were entering the clearing from which the sparks emanated. The tree was, in Harry's opinion, really quite perfect. It stood in the middle of a clearing with quite a few saplings surrounding it.
Tainn was circling the tree and nodding approval. Tala glanced at Remus, who had just arrived with Hermione in tow - knowing Hermione, Harry guessed that they had discussed something like ancient runes more than looking for trees - and he smiled in approval of their choice.
"We stumbled across it, really." Ginny informed Remus, "Tala said she wanted to wait for you before using the severing charm on it, though."
"That's fine. You needn't have waited." Remus told her.
The tree was felled in short order, and Tainn and Sarven started the process of levitating it through the woods, followed by the girls. Harry started to trail after them but stopped when he realized that Remus wasn't following. He hesitated then quietly doubled back. Remus was kneeling in the snow where their tree had stood, his wand in hand.
"Excavo" He murmured, pointing his wand at the ground, and a small hole appeared in the snow and earth, exposing a root. Harry came a bit nearer, and Remus looked up. "Harry, this might interest you." He said lightly, waving him closer. "I always do this when a tree is removed."
Harry crouched beside his former professor as he cupped his hand over the exposed root and said a few words so low that Harry almost could not hear them. "Arborus florisa." He removed his hand and stepped back beside Harry. Where the root had been exposed there was now a tiny seedling, and as Harry and Remus watched it grew until it was nearly the same size as the other saplings in the clearing.
Harry did indeed find it quite interesting, and he smiled back at Remus' expression. He realized with a start that he was now nearly as tall as his former professor, and wondered when that had happened.
"Shall we go, Harry?" Remus asked.
"Sure. What exactly did you do, anyways?" Harry replied as they followed the trampled trail through the snow that the others had made.
"A growth charm." Remus replied, "These trees..." He gestured around him, "...bring me some income. Dumbledore purchases most of the Christmas trees for Hogwarts from me, and occasionally Ollivander wants some wand quality wood. It's not much, but..." He trailed off, seemingly embarrassed. He didn't need to be. Harry understood, just as he did with Ron, what it was like to not have much. Before he had discovered the vault in Gringotts that contained his inheritance, he had been in much the same situation.
The two of them arrived at the cottage just as the others were contemplating the best way to get the tree inside and were sufficiently distracted from further conversation.
Decorating the tree proved a diverting experience, it came close to toppling once or twice, eliciting hasty rescue measures on some of the glass ornaments. The ornaments, to Harry's eye, looked very old and he thought Aunt Petunia, who liked antique ornaments to the extent that she had banned Harry from the sitting room every Christmas since she could not trust him to walk by without shattering them, would give her eyeteeth to procure them. The sight of Tainn juggling them was strangely gratifying.
Finally, all that was left was the star.
"Youngest has the duty." Remus said over his shoulder as he bent over the box, carefully unwrapping it. He stood, holding the tree topper carefully in his hands. It was very pretty and delicate, with four crystal stars surrounding a central one, topped with a crescent moon. It seemed to pull all the light from the room into itself, and glowed as Remus presented it to the youngest in the room, "Ginny, if you would?"
Ginny grinned, turning a bit red along her cheekbones, but she took it from him, holding it carefully. The she looked at the tree, which was too tall for her to easily reach the top.
"Chair!" Tainn announced, floating one in from the kitchen. "My dear." He grinned, presenting it to her with a flourish.
She climbed up and as the chair wobbled Harry grabbed the back to steady it. Then the star was in place and all the tiny crystals and cold-burning candles lit up, casting their twinkling light onto the room.
Harry stared up at Ginny as she turned to climb down. Their eyes met and held for what seemed like forever to Harry's time sense. He tried to smile at her and managed somewhat, but no answering smile graced her face. If not for the intensive hold of her brown eyes he wouldn't have felt any hope. But he felt it, and knew he couldn't give up on them. The moment ended, and Harry carried the chair back to the kitchen.
Much later Harry woke with a start and found that he had fallen asleep on the couch in the sitting room. He rubbed his hands through his hair and over his face, finding that someone had kindly removed his glasses for him. He reached out and found them on a small scuffed table. He supposed, as he put them on and sat up, that the combination of accumulated insomnia, soft music, warm fire, and quiet conversation had helped to send him to sleep.
The last thing he remembered was turning down an invitation to string popcorn and settling down to watch as Ginny, Hermione and Texi created long ropes of it to drape on the trees outside; it was for the birds, Texi told him. Remus had been sitting in one of the beat-up old armchairs, Tala sitting on the floor and resting her head against his knee. Ron and Sarven had been hunched over a chessboard with mismatched pieces, Tainn giving them advice. But now he supposed that they had all gone to bed.
Harry looked over to the fire and realized with a start that he was not the only one remaining in the room.
Remus was still sitting in his battered and patched armchair, holding a goblet. As Harry watched he took up a poker and leaned forward to shift the smoldering logs in the fireplace, the sparks that rose illuminating the lines on his young face and the silver in his light brown hair. He replaced the poker and leaned back, looking into the fire with ruminative eyes. Then his gaze lifted to the pictures lining the mantelpiece.
Harry leaned forward on the couch, trying to see. The pictures were all in shadow, but he got the impression that Remus had looked at them for so long that he knew what was in them even without seeing them. Harry made a quick decision and stood.
Remus started and looked around. "Harry! I was just thinking about waking you. That sofa is only comfortable for so long."
Harry looked at him, his brow furrowed, then walked to the mantle and picked up a picture containing four very young men, perhaps still in school. One was standing very upright and smiling at the camera. His black hair stuck up in all directions, and Harry knew he looked just like him. His eyes moved between the others, and Harry had the impression he was talking through his teeth.
On one side of James was a quiet looking young man with light brown hair, his arms folded across his chest. Harry smiled as he watched the young Remus slowly and deliberately crossing his eyes, first the right, then the left then both together.
Then Harry scowled as he looked at the young, round face of Wormtail, smiling almost sheepishly. He moved on quickly.
On James' other side another black-haired young man was leaning in towards him, his hands reaching up and giving Harry's father antlers with his fingers. He was grinning in a roguish way, his black hair falling elegantly before his eyes. As Harry watched he tossed his head back and laughed. Harry could almost hear him; that bark of a laugh was something he missed horribly if he allowed himself to dwell on it.
"You look happy." He said to Remus, who had watched silently as Harry perused the picture.
"That was the first day of classes in seventh year." Remus told him quietly. "Lily took the picture; she said she wanted a good shot to put on the wanted posters." His smile was tinged with nostalgia.
Harry smiled sadly as well. He wished he had known his mother; she seemed to have been a very good person. Harry replaced the picture on the mantle, looking over the rest. Other than a picture of Remus and Tala's wedding day, all the pictures seemed quite old. Harry was conscious of Remus' eyes on his back, and was just about to turn away when a flash of bright blue in one of the pictures in the back row caught his eye.
As Harry reached towards it, he heard Remus make a sudden movement, and he hurriedly plucked the picture out before he could be stopped. It was a small photo, unframed. In it was a young Sirius, his arms wrapped around an equally young girl with clouds of curly golden hair. He nuzzled her ear and she laughed, pushing him away.
Harry clutched the picture, turning to see Remus settling back into his chair, a defeated look flickering briefly across his face.
"I know this woman," Harry said accusingly. "I've seen her before. I even TOLD you about her."
"I know." Remus replied quietly.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Harry said angrily. "If you knew..."
Remus looked past him at the fire, apparently doing some quick thinking. "It wasn't so simple, Harry." He looked up and Harry could see the sadness in his eyes. "Have a seat if you really want to talk about this." He took his wand and levitated a chair over to face his. "I'll try to answer."
Harry thought, sitting gingerly, "In the letter, the message they sent you," Remus briefly and unconsciously touched his hand to a point near his heart. "My d-dad said something about Sirius wanting to get married once."
"Yes, yes he did." Remus admitted with some reluctance.
"Will you tell me about her?"
Remus leaned back in his chair, the light from the candles adorning the Christmas tree glittering in his eyes and catching the golden flecks within the hazel until he closed them briefly. Harry couldn't tell if it was merely to gather his thoughts, or for some other reason. He sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair, then looked at Harry, his lined face grave.
"Vega O'Connelly. That was her name." He said finally, his voice as grave as his face. "She was...one of those naturally beautiful people, her face, her spirit, her personality." He glanced at the picture in Harry's hand, then leaned back in his chair with a sigh, tenting his fingers over his thin stomach. "She was several years younger than us, a first year when we were in fourth." He half-smiled. "She was a tiny little thing, smaller even than young Colin Creevy. Sirius, for his own reasons, took her under his wing, becoming sort of her knight protector. That's what she called him, her Sir Knight. He called her Twinkle.
"She was a half-blood - her father a muggle astronomer and her mother a wizarding one - which did not sit well with his family, and she had a single brother named Orion who also turned out to be a wizard." His eyes closed again, very briefly, then he looked straight at Harry, "These are not things that should be talked about during the Holiday."
Harry shook his head stubbornly. "I want to know."
"If you're certain." Remus told him warningly.
"I am." He said, implacable.
"It was our sixth year, and she was a third year," Harry nodded, "when it happened. We were all in the common room, blissfully unaware that anything was wrong, until Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall came in." His voice shook before he could bring it under control. "It is difficult to describe the feelings that charged through the room at that moment. It was, after all during the time of Voldemort's rise to power."
His head bowed, the silver streaks in his hair glinting in the candlelight. "They said they needed to talk to her. They, they didn't want to tell her in front of us. But she knew, she knew, and she tried to talk herself into believing that she really didn't, louder and louder, finally screaming it. She fainted into Padfoot's arms, and then they took her away. She was gone for over a week.
"She was changed after that." He continued.
"What...?" Harry was reluctant to finish the question but he felt he needed to say something. "He killed them."
"Yes, his Death Eaters waited until Orion was home, then went in and killed him when he tried to protect his parents. He was a very good wizard, Harry, but..." He shook his head. "All three of them dead, the house destroyed."
Harry suddenly felt a kinship to this woman who was no more than a shadow in his past. "Then what?"
"Sirius was at her side whenever it was possible for those last years, but then we graduated, and she was on her own. She withdrew from everything, I hear, when Sirius wasn't there. Only he could bring her out, get her to show what a beautiful person she was." He cleared his throat softly. "The last time, as far as I know, they saw each other was at your parent's wedding. She was in her last years at Hogwarts, and they planned to marry when she left school."
He fell silent for a few minutes, so long that Harry thought he had fallen back into old memories of happier times and couldn't be roused. Finally he sat up in his chair, his back tense. "You know what happened then."
Harry nodded, he indeed knew, knew all too well. "What happened to her?"
"She left the country. " He waved a general hand.
"So she's gone?" Harry asked; feeling dejected for reasons he couldn't quite pinpoint. "But I thought..."
Remus said, almost reluctantly. "I have seen her a couple of times, when she was in the area. She never stays in one place very long, I assume." He passed a hand across his face. "She happened to be here when, when it happened. I was the one who told her." Now Harry could see tears glittering in candlelit eyes, though the professor was staring at the tree, and Harry could only see him in profile. "It was one of the hardest things I have ever done."
Harry was not sorry he had asked, but he was sorry for dredging up bad memories for Remus. He reached out and touched his professor's arm lightly. "Thank you for telling me, Remus. I think it was something I needed to know." He resisted the urge to continue with the fact that he should have been told sooner.
"I'm glad, Harry." Remus replied, patting his hand. "It's difficult for me," He admitted, "Thinking of those times, when my friends were alive and happy, or generally happy. But I think it is good for me to remember so I can sometimes forget."
Harry felt that the werewolf was opening himself up to him as he very rarely did, and to only a few. Harry suspected that Tala had seen this side of him often, but he no longer had his friends to confide in.
Remus stood up, his knuckles white on the goblet he clutched in his hand. "I think I'll have some more eggnog before I go to bed, Harry, would you care for a cup?" Harry shook his head, standing as well.
"I think I'll go get some sleep." Harry told him. Remus smiled his mild smile, before starting to turn away. "Remus?" He said suddenly. His former professor turned back, his face questioning.
Harry didn't give it much thought, he just acted, stepping forward and giving his former professor and present friend a hug. He felt Remus stiffen for a second, before relaxing and enveloping him in his arms in a fatherly embrace. Then they parted, and Remus held Harry at arm's length.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time." Remus said, his voice thick. "I wanted to when you were small enough to really hug, to pick up, and to teach you to fly a broom, and to watch you grow up more than the glimpses I caught of you. But I was, and am, and will likely continue to be a werewolf. I couldn't have cared for you, and would always have been afraid..." He released Harry, and turned away. "I wanted to take you in, Harry." He hesitated, "So did Vega. And I hope you don't hold it against us that we let Dumbledore convince us to leave you with the Dursleys."
Harry saw shoulders tighten beneath his worn robes, and knew those words for completely true.
"Sure you won't have some eggnog, Harry?"
"No, thank you Remus." Harry replied, suddenly feeling shy. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Harry." Remus replied without turning around, his voice sounding strange before he walked into the kitchen.
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