Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! But I look up at the sky every night wishing that I do… well, no, I'm too busy pigging out in the kitchen.

Summary: Because of Jou's grades, a teacher has assigned Seto Kaiba to be his tutor after school to improve his grades. Jou likes Seto, but is too shy to say anything. Valentine's Day is coming up, and Yugi thinks Seto likes Jou too! Jou doesn't believe so he comes up with a plan to find out if Yugi is right or not…


The Good Kind of Losing

The Moment of Truth


Jou could have sworn he wasn't breathing when he had asked that question. He was anxiously awaiting Kaiba's response, barely noticing the lack of oxygen needed. His eyes were focused on Kaiba's facial expressions.

Kaiba's face was one Jou never seen before. It was mixed between confusion and wishful thinking. In a way, his eyes almost looked… sad at the thought of it… or is it just a flicker of his imagination? Jou did not know. It was starting to scare him actually.

This question is sure taking him a while…

Kaiba sighed; not his usual sighs which were sighing because he was explaining things to a younger child such as Mokuba, but it was one of those sighs when you make when you know that the thing you want will never be yours. Jou knew. How many days he had he spent looking at Kaiba and sighing that way? Or the time he went to the ice cream parlor and wanted an ice cream sundae but only had enough money to buy a scoop in a cup?

Yeah, Jou knew how that felt.

And it wasn't a good feeling.

"No he doesn't."

His answer was short but firm. Jou could hear the regret behind those words and the amount of intensity. Course, with Kaiba, it was ten times more than other, regular people.

Maybe Jou was hallucinating, but he could have sworn that Kaiba looked slightly—just slightly, not a whole lot thought—heartbreaking. His eyes lost that sarcastic look and they just look… down.

He spoke quietly as if speaking to himself, but Jou knew he was talking to him. When he had asked him that question, he didn't expect that much of a reaction. Or that kind of reaction.

Kaiba opened his mouth to talk more. His voice is kind of low and lacked any meanness or sarcasm or even teasing that usually came with it.

"He… is someone that needs to be with someone who is cheery and happy all the time and is willing to let his guard down all the time… I'm… not… I'm the exact opposite of what he wants, what he deserves. He deserves so much more than me… I can't offer him much. Yes, I have the money, but I do not know what else I can offer him… I don't know how to be a friend. Hell, I don't even have friends. I wouldn't know what to do if he needs comfort and assurance… I wouldn't know what to do. I would be utterly lost and confused. I just can't be the person to go to when he needs it. I wish I could be, how I wish, but I'm not. He deserves so much more. Besides… I'm cold and heartless…" his voice trailed off and he closed his eyes and leaned back in the couch.

Jou—stunned—almost reached out to grab his hand. Almost, but didn't. He wanted to. He wanted to take his hand, right then, make him turn his way. Tell him, "No, you're wrong. You're everything a person could want. You're everything I want." He wanted to grasp his hand so badly it almost hurt. He wanted to comfort Kaiba so badly, just to make him feel better even if Jou didn't.

He… wanted to kiss him.

Jou was certain that he never felt more strongly about his feelings than at that moment, where Kaiba had opened up to Jou more than anyone else had ever to him. And coming from Kaiba… It made him feel…

That was… so sweet… he almost ran out of the room because he felt so jealous of that person. That person was crazy if he didn't want Kaiba in his life. How could he not? This is Seto Kaiba…

Kaiba's eyes opened and he turned to stare at Jou. His lips curved into a small smile. "I guess I got a little carried away there, huh?"

Jou smiled back and said, "I guess so."

They sat there in silence, neither knowing what to say. Jou wanted to continue on with his questions, but he wasn't sure he wanted to find out anymore who that person was. What if that person was his friend? Even if it wasn't, how would he deal with the jealousy?

"You're going to continue?"

Jou looked at Kaiba with an unsure look. "I'm not sure I should."

"Why not? I thought you wanted to."

Because I'm not sure I can continue knowing that that person probably isn't me. Why would it be me? There are so many other people out there, much better than me. Much smarter than me. I'm just… plain and ordinary.

"Just because."

"You made me answer all these stupid questions so far. Why stop here?" Kaiba asked, still in that rare mood of his.

"I suppose you're right," Jou agreed, even though he lost the enthusiasm to continue. He looked at his piece of paper. "This isn't a yes or no question so I hope you don't mind…"

"It's fine. Carry on."

"How can you be sure he doesn't like you back?"

"I can tell."

"How?" How do you know? People surprise you… you would never in a million years suspect I like you… I would never let you know…

"Who would like me? I'm just… Seto Kaiba."

And I'm just Jou… who would like me? But you're different. I would like you. I do like you. I like you because you are Seto Kaiba. Gosh, who wouldn't like you? You're everything a person could wish for… but can't get… "That still doesn't answer my question."

"I just know, okay! Why would he pick me out of all the girls he could have? I bet he's not even into guys, which makes it even harder for me! Besides… I would make a horrible boyfriend. I can't do anything right."

I sure know how that feels.

Silence fell upon them again. Jou could feel that Kaiba was getting more and more uncomfortable with the questions as they got more personal. Even Jou was getting uncomfortable, with the jealousy and all. He was trying to control his emotions. He had half a mind to run out of the room right then and there.

"What ten words would you use to describe him?" Jou continued on, lacking any feelings or emotions. It was in a neutral voice. He didn't even want to ask, but he couldn't think of anything to say. No wonder he kept getting bad grades at school. No creativity!

Kaiba paused to think about this. He rested his head onto his arm, the elbow propped on his knee. "An angel who fell from heaven and into my life," he said at last, barely loud enough for Jou to hear.

It was a really sweet thing to say, something that no one else that Jou knew would probably say. Actually, he didn't ever think he would hear Kaiba say "angels" unless it was for a report.

An angel… an angel…

Jou didn't expect Kaiba to say such a thing. He was hoping for a list of adjectives, not that poetic sentence. He was now fighting back bitterness and mixed emotions inside of him. Half of him still wanted to run while the other half wanted to destroy the person who would make Kaiba think of such things.

"That's… sweet… Really sweet," Jou added, cracking a smile at Kaiba. Kaiba stared back at Jou without any specific look before looking away, obviously thinking about something else. Jou coughed to clear his throat, feeling utterly uneasy. He hated having to do all the talking.

Actually, he hated having such feelings.

Some genius he was, thinking of this game. It could be anyone.

Was Jou being jealous part of the plan?

"Why do you like him?"

Kaiba shifted his attention back to Jou. "Why?"

"Yes. As in, what makes him so special or what makes him stand out from the rest. Why him? Out of all the people you can have—do you realize how many fan clubs you have?—why him?"

"Damn, you're asking the hard questions now."

Jou shrugged carelessly, ignoring the compliment behind Kaiba's words. "It's not that hard. I can answer that question pretty easily if someone asked me that."

The words came out of Jou's mouth before he realized what he said. He clamped his hand against his mouth, unable to believe he actually muttered that out loud when he meant to think that in his head. Kaiba looked at Jou with a questioning look and said, "Why don't you answer that then?"

"Uh, no, no, no. This is my question to you and I am not going to let you turn this around me." Besides, it'll be too obvious if I start saying all the things I like about you. You would guess it in a second and I can't take that. I can't let you know… I just can't…

"I… can't explain it." Kaiba's eyes gazed straight into Jou's and he said it again. "I can't. I don't know why I feel the way I do. One day it just hit me and… it's still hitting me. Don't ask me to explain this; I'm just not good with words."

"If you say so Kaiba. I'm back to yes and no questions so you don't have to worry that much anymore."

Kaiba didn't react, not acknowledging the fact that he heard Jou. Jou leaned back in the couch and read the question. "If you had a chance to be with him, would you treat him right?"

His blue eyes met Jou's once again. Jou held the gaze for several seconds before blinking and turning away to stare at the television.

"I would."

Jou could see Kaiba's eyes on him and he shifted awkwardly to the right, subtly moving away as if to avoid his stare. "And when he's lonely, would you hold him tightly and never let go?" Jou asked, staring down at the piece of paper so hard it might tear.

Kaiba breathed and answered, "I would never let him go, never."

"If he's crying, would you kiss away his tears?"

"Always."

"When he needs you, would you comfort him and quietly offer him your time?"

"He's worth all the time in the world to me."

"All the time?" Jou's eyes clouded.

"All the time," he confirmed. "Is there any reason why you keep looking at anything but me?"

Jou laughed weakly, still not looking Kaiba. "No reason, I just find this room very, very interesting."

"You've seen this room before."

"I never really took the time to see how this place really looks."

"You're a horrible liar."

"Am not."

"Yes, you are. You need to think of better excuses."

"Maybe next time."

"So you were lying."

Damn it. He hated it when Kaiba outsmarts like that. It just wasn't fair. Stupid Kaiba. No wait, stupid SMART Kaiba. There.

"I have… only two more questions. Then you'll be free of the annoying puppy dog forever! After today, you wouldn't have to tutor me or anything. You wouldn't even need to put up with me anymore. Happy?"

Jou started to read his question out loud. "Would you—"

"I don't think you're annoying."

Jou's head shot forward to look at Kaiba, who was still staring at him. "I really don't. I don't know why you think I think that. You're the opposite of annoying for me."

"Are you… are you serious?"

"Yes."

Jou blinked and fumbled with his piece of paper, which had fallen on the floor without him noticing. He had forgotten his question already, due to the fact that Kaiba had distracted him.

"Would you put down your guard, put down your wall, and let him in?"

Kaiba moved closer to Jou, their faces for only several inches apart. "I would do anything for him."

Jou pulled his head back, scared that he might kiss Kaiba without thinking of the consequences. He shouldn't have done that. It scared the living hell out of him.

"Only one last question."

"What is that, Jou?"

Jou. "That's the first time you called me Jou."

"That is your name right?"

Jou nodded and looked down to avoid looking at him once more. His mouth and only whispered three words:

"Is he me?"


Holy, holy WOW! Go Jou! Or Kaiba! Or whatever. Dang, did I just write that? Sorry if it's out of character, guys! I just wrote whatever came to mind and this is what I got!

Oh even more WOWS. I just realized that two of my favorite authors (Killian and Misura) reviewed my stories… That is just… wow because… I never thought in a million years that they would like this story since they write so much good ones themselves!

(I'm just weird, ignore me)

And the one particular review I liked. Somnia Lustre. Thanks for the major compliment! And to Miguels-Lover, for being such a frequent reviewer.

For the rest of ya'll, thanks a lot. Even though I don't mention you, I deeply appreciate all of it and am extremely grateful.

I have a new fanfiction up about Seto/Jou… check it out?

It's called The Last To Know. I hope that one is as successful as this one is turning out to be.

-lilrubydevil-