Remington was engaged in some hot and heavy petting with Laura when the telephone rang. "Damn! If that's Mildred – " He reached over the side of the bed toward the nightstand and –

– fell onto the floor. Dazed, he sat up. Ah, yes. He hadn't been in his bed. He hadn't been making passionate love with Laura. He'd been relegated to the sofa for the past two weeks, and evidently he'd been kissing his pillow. The one point reality and dream agreed upon was that the phone was ringing.

He got onto his feet, but could barely straighten up. The sofa needed replacing, even if Laura's smirks seemed to imply his back pains from sleeping on it had nothing to do with the sofa and everything to do with his age. Pure nonsense. Why, he could show that new actor slated to play James Bond a thing or two.

He hobbled over to the phone. "Steele here. . . . Yes. . . . Oh? . . . Oh. Yes, I see. Veered to the left again. Well, thanks anyway, Leon. . . . Yes, ciao to you, too." Remington replaced the phone and slumped onto the sofa.

"What did Leon have to say?"

"What? Oh, good morning, Laura." She was standing behind the sofa. She put a hand on his shoulder, then ruffled his hair. He looked up at her, and they held each other's gaze. She leaned down and kissed him soundly. He took her hand. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?"

"Have you made your penance?"

"Penance is voluntary. My privations were imposed." He tugged on her hand and half-led, half-pulled her around the sofa until she was seated next to him. He put his arm around her shoulders, and they leaned back together against the sofa. She splayed a hand on his bare chest and began to play with the hairs there. He kissed the top of her head.

"So, what did Leon have to say."

"Well, apparently it still may happen that Pierce Brosnan will play Bond."

"So?"

"So, apparently somebody thinks I resemble him."

"That's ridiculous. You're much better looking."

"Thank you, darling. I always thought so."

"I still don't get what this has to do with what you and Leon were scheming."

"Scheming? Laura, that's so, so – "

"Accurate?"

"Accusatory. One man's scheming is another man's – "

"Way of life?"

"Why do I get the feeling I'd better go sofa-shopping today?"

Laura laughed. A delightful, melodic laugh, full of love. He knew he was forgiven, once again. He would show her how much she meant to him. He cupped her face in his hands and planted little kisses on her freckles, intending to rediscover each and every one. Then he'd move to the freckles on her shoulders, and then on her –

"Mr. Steele."

Remington moved his lips away from her skin with great reluctance. "Yes?" he managed to gasp out.

"We have our first appointment in less than two hours, and you haven't begun your grooming routine yet."

"We'll be late." He sank toward her again.

She lilted another laugh and gently pushed on his chest. "No can do."

Remington closed his eyes. "Oh, Laura," he moaned, trying to convey maximum need of her.

"But I'll make it up to you tonight."

His eyes snapped open. "Promise?"

"Promise."

"Will you wear that little – "

She put her fingers to his lips. "I'll wear very little."

He grinned, leapt up from the sofa, and whistled a tune as he strutted toward the shower, feeling young.

"Mr. Steele."

He stopped in mid-toot. "Yes?"

"What did your mild resemblance to Pierce Brosnan have to do with anything?"

"Oh. Well, apparently the producers of the Bond films got hold of the proposed DVD's cover art you saw and accused Leon of ripping off Brosnan's James Bond image. If we go forward with the project, they're going to sue our backsides off."

"It'd be a shame for you to lose your backside."

Remington turned around so his silk pajama clad backside was facing Laura and looked over his shoulder at it. "Think so?"

"Definitely. One of your best assets."

Remington grinned at her and continued to whistle a merry melody for much of that day.

But that night, he played a lovers' duet with Laura.

The End

For anyone who missed the reference, at the end of "Steele in the Air" when "People Magazine" is no longer interested in Steele, Leon remarks to Steele, "You approached greatness, and then you veered left."