Disclaimer: I own posters of Yu-Gi-Oh, and that is all.
Summary: Because of Jou's grades, a teacher has assigned Seto Kaiba to be his tutor after school to improve his grades. Jou likes Seto, but is too shy to say anything. Valentine's Day is coming up, and Yugi thinks Seto likes Jou too! Jou doesn't believe so he comes up with a plan to find out if Yugi is right or not…
The Good Kind of Losing
Losing the Final Round
Jou had no idea how he managed to leave Kaiba Corp and walk home. He had stopped crying the instant the elevator reached the first floor and managed to compose himself well enough to look like he hadn't been crying.
He kept a straight face while he was walking out the door, past the people walking in, even when he had accidentally run into someone from school. It was when he reached the privacy of his own room where he broke down and started throwing things and kicking things that got in his way.
His poor room, once clean and spotless, was no filled with things thrown carelessly around, dirty, crowded. Jou never made a move to clean it up, for he was still aching inside, despite his friends' best efforts. Even Honda, who hated Kaiba, showed enough self control to not show any hate or comments about the CEO and what he done. Jou was grateful.
Yugi was nearly as upset as Jou was when he heard the story and almost started to cry as well. Yugi felt guilty for allowing himself to give Jou false hope and to have led him down the wrong path. He blamed himself for putting Jou through all that trouble, which Jou hurriedly explained to him that it wasn't his fault. Yugi was only trying to help after all, it wasn't his fault.
If only Jou hadn't been blinded by hope and wishful thoughts, none of it would have happened. He and Kaiba would still be friends—somewhat—and… Jou could have continued to live in hope that one day maybe Kaiba would return his feelings back.
But he could barely hope for that anymore. He couldn't erase what Kaiba's blue eyes told him that day and it was still breaking his heart over and over.
Monday had rolled around quickly, too quickly for Jou's liking. He barely managed to get of bed that day and had to struggle to get dressed, dreading the day he had ahead of him.
He would have to see him. See him typing on his laptop in class when he was supposed to be paying attention, see him at lunch still working away, but what he dreaded to see the most was when Kaiba would have to sit with him after school at five to get his tutoring from him.
That was what he had dreaded. He had to go back to Kaiba Corp, he had to go up the same elevator, and he had to stay in the same room in which he had embarrassed and humiliated himself in for no reason.
Jou reached over to grab the toothpaste, sighing in despair. He would have to ask for another tutor, definitely. But he had to think of a good reason and unfortunately, the only reason he had right now in his mind would not work on the teacher.
Because every time I think about him, my heart breaks into two. How can I manage to spend a whole afternoon with him in the same room?
He had yet to find out.
If Kaiba's behavior in school or in all the classes were any indicators on how the afternoon would go over at his place, then it would probably break Jou's heart even more. Every time Jou saw him the hallways, Kaiba always turned his head the other way. Every time Jou sat next to him due to the alphabetically order, Kaiba refused to acknowledge his presence and ignored him the whole time, even when Jou asked him to pass him the papers. And every single time Jou saw Kaiba walk rapidly away, he felt as if Kaiba was walking away from him.
Jou's spirits were an all time low by the time lunch rolled around. Honda dampened his spirits even more by trying to make him feel better by saying, "You'll find someone else that'll treat you better man, trust me," or even worse, "Who cares about Kaiba? He's a total ass if he doesn't care about you".
Jou didn't respond to any of his Honda's attempted tries at trying to make Jou feel happier and less sad. It only made him feel worse. In his mind, he couldn't help but think:
But I don't want anyone else. I just want him. I only want him.
And:
I care.
When the final bell rang, Jou waited until everyone exited the classroom first, motioning to Yugi and Yami to go on ahead without him. Yugi looked worried and protested and told Jou he would stay, but Jou insisted that they leave first. They finally left, with Yugi sending Jou one last look of worry.
Jou got his things together and went up to the teacher, who was putting his things away in his backpack, and looking for something. "Jounouchi, you should leave now, everyone else did."
He took a deep breath and gripped the strap to his backpack tighter. "I was wondering if I had to go to tutoring today with… Seto."
The teacher stopped searching long enough to stare into Jou's eyes with clear confusion. He adjusted his glasses that was falling a bit and scratched his head, obviously bewildered. "Jou, you're doing better, but I'm afraid it's not enough to pass my class yet."
"Yes, I know but…" Pause and sighed. "I just… I'm not sure I can do it with him anymore."
The teacher looked at Jou with a disappointed look and nodded. "All right. I'll assign you someone else. But go today, just one more day."
"Thank you very much."
As he was walking towards the door, he heard his teacher say, "Jou? I'm sure Seto didn't mean what he did to you, whatever it was. He's a good person down at heart, and I'm sure he hated himself when he hurt you with whatever he said or did to you. Try to work things out, he'll come through."
That'll never happen, he doesn't care about me. But thanks for giving me some hope, even if it is false.
Five o' clock.
Jou checked his watch again to make sure it was the right time. It was. He was standing in front of Seto Kaiba's office door, unsure of whether or not to walk in. It wasn't too late to run… he still had time…
Jou felt his heart pump faster and faster, with each passing second passing like eternity. His palms were sweaty, his stomach filled with butterflies. He didn't know how to walk inside. He wasn't sure what to expect or what was waiting for him behind this door. Would the day end with good news? Or would he end up crying in the elevator like he did before?
He really did not know.
He took a deep, deep breath and turned the knob to walk inside, slowly. He opened the door cautiously and carefully, trying not to make a single sound. Just as usual, he was still behind his desk, typing something. He did not look up to greet Jou like he normally would nor did he say something insulting like, "Welcome to the doghouse". Just the sound of him typing and his computer beeping was all he heard.
Other than that… silence.
Jou didn't expect that much anyway. Oh well. After today… he didn't have to do anything else with him anymore. This was the last tutoring session.
He took a seat on the couch, setting down his math spiral on the glass table in front of him. His palms were getting sweatier and warmer and he attempted to wipe some of it off on his jeans. Jou started to tap his foot as if to relieve some of his nervousness. Wasn't working.
Jou heard the phone ring and Kaiba pick it up. He listened as Kaiba said, "Hold on," and then say, "Jou, it's for you."
Jou blinked, not sure of what to believe: that someone would call him over here at Kaiba Corp or that fact that Kaiba just called him Jou again and talked to him. He stood up and walked over to his elegantly organized desk and took the phone from him, just as Kaiba decided to stand up and exit the room, carrying papers in his hands.
It was his teacher, telling Jou his next tutor and what times he is available to tutor. Jou, half listening, mumbled yes, while looking around his desk. Nothing unusual really, just tons of papers scattered around a bit, with data and companies' names. (Must be Kaiba Corp's rivals). Jou's eyes landed on a leather book as he hung up the phone. Kaiba still hadn't returned yet.
Jou picked it up, curious and forgetting that he was in Kaiba's office for a second. It didn't look like something company related, or else it would have the initials KC engraved somewhere. Jou opened the book, flipping through it and landing on a page in which Kaiba had written stuff on it.
Curiosity wining over his morals, he read it, scanning the first few lines.
November 13.
Boring day as usual. Saw him again, the puppy. Look at him, he's smiling with pride as he beat Yugi in a Duel Monsters game. Stupid dog. He doesn't realize that Yugi probably let him win again. How pathetic.
There was more stuff written, but he didn't seem to notice it. Jou's eyes widened and nearly dropped the book in surprise. Did he read that correctly? He checked the date. It was back in December, only two months ago. This wasn't company related at all. This must be his…
Journal?
Jou wasn't aware he kept one…
He turned a few pages and found one dated in December with the word puppy again.
December 9.
His stupidity never fails to amuse me. He can't even solve a stupid math problem that even his friend Honda can. Stupid dog. He's coming every day for tutoring now, thanks to that stupid teacher of ours. I hate spending time with him.
He skimmed the passage and chose to only read three lines, due to the fact that Jou felt his eyes water. He knew he should close the book before he started to cry again but his hands wouldn't listen. He couldn't drop it for some reason. Even though he should know he should stop before he got hurt again even more, his fingers flipped past a few more pages and he read some more entries. This one was a few weeks after the last one.
January 27.
The puppy came to school today late again. How typical, he can't even wake up on time. He always comes at least thirty minutes into the first period with stupid excuses. He's so irresponsible, I'm surprised he hasn't gotten expelled from school yet for being late so much.
Several pages later, he saw the date of Friday, the day he and Kaiba were playing the game… that fateful day. By now, Jou was using all his strength to keep from crying and kept wiping his eyes to stop the tears temporarily.
I lost the game.
Jou dropped the book and he turned to reach for a tissue (the box was on the desk) and he froze. Kaiba was back, his hands clutching papers but his eyes on the book that was on the floor. It slowly trailed up to Jou's face and that moment, a single tear dropped from his eyes.
"You read it."
It was a statement, one that meant Kaiba was there to see Jou reading at least one of the entries. Jou wasn't aware that Kaiba had come back, but he didn't care. He didn't care if Kaiba saw him commit suicide. It didn't matter.
"So? Big deal. It's not like I have never heard all of that before. Stupid dog. Pathetic dog. Irresponsible." His voice was cracking and he picked up the book and threw it at Kaiba. It landed in front of his feet. He pointed at the book, his brown eyes focused at blue eyes, tears trailing down his cheeks. "That's how you felt about me all along and you led me to believe… you son of a bitch… how could you… after all that… god, I HATE YOU! YOU BASTARD!"
Kaiba didn't say anything and only reached down to take the book off the floor and flipping through the pages, apparently ignoring Jou and his tears. Jou stared at him, not believing what he say. That Kaiba had no answer? That he wasn't even caring?
"I can't BELIEVE that you can just stand there, casually looking through that stupid diary of yours," Jou shouted, in anger and in hurt, his voice quivering. "I just can't believe that you would…"
"I can't believe that you read this," Kaiba finally spoke, his voice void of any emotions or feelings. "You read this while I was gone. Haven't you ever heard of privacy? What happened to that?"
"I don't care, and I'm leaving now, Kaiba," Jou told him, as he started to walk past him.
As he reached the door, he heard Kaiba's voice.
"November 13. I don't know what's wrong with me, I can't stop thinking about him. Yes, him, Jou. Today, he sat with me at lunch to talk about Duel Monsters and even though I acted like I wasn't listening, I really was. His voice sounds like music to my ears. His laughter is something I love to hear every day. His smile is what I long to see the most though."
Jou stopped in his tracks, not believing what he heard. Kaiba carried on.
"December 9. I think this is starting to get serious. I couldn't stop looking at him today when he came by to get math help. While he was working, my eyes were focused on him while he was working. I'm smiling thinking about how his eyes were sparkling earlier today. It was a beautiful sight. I don't think I can ignore my feelings for him anymore."
Kaiba stopped for a second, not moving from his spot as Jou heard him turn the page. "January 27. I think I love him, but I'm scared to tell him. What should I do? Do I let him know and give him a chance to break my heart? Or do I not say a thing and only live in hope that maybe one day he'll feel the same? I don't know what to do."
Kaiba's voice softened as he started to talk again. "February 9. Yesterday, Jou came up here to tell me he had feelings for me and then he left. I pushed him away, because I was frightened by the fact that someone out there actually loves me, and that that person is the one I love. I don't know what to do now though, I think he hates me. I hate myself for pushing him away."
Jou turned to see Kaiba close the book and he started to cry some more. He felt Kaiba come up to him and felt his arms wrap around him. Jou tried to stop the tears, but was having a hard time doing so. His sobs were quiet, and he leaned against him for comfort, feeling his warmth.
Kaiba rubbed his back, whispering soothing words in his ears. Jou's heart lifted as he heard Kaiba whisper the most soothing words of all:
"Aishiteru. I love you."
-Owari-
And thus, concludes The Good Kind of Losing. YAY! Seto and Jou got together in the end, yay, yay yay!
Wow, this was a long chapter. Sorry I took so long you guys, I had writer's block on this story. I just didn't want to disappoint my readers, that's all!
So, my work is completed for this story and I'm so sad it ended, I'm going to cry! hehe, oh well, all good things has to end right?
I hoped you guys loved this chapter as much as I did! Thanks to the following:
cherreFREAK014, yami no kokoro, Millennium Girlastalder27I love Kouga and he's mineStarfishy-chanLil-RiterYukiko-AngelMiguels-Loveranarazdonguri-cozy, subaruxkamui4everPup Jou and Kitty SetoDojomistressAmbyChansetonjounouchisgalyaoilovereverGlue ProjectMisuraKillian
And many more but I got lazy! I thank EVERYONE for EVERY SINGLE REVIEW. I love you guys, everyone!
Now, please review one last time and don't let me be The Last To Know (check it out)
THANK YOU!
-lilrubydevil-
