Disclaimer: No, I do not own DBZ. But if I ever do, you'll be the first to know. Promise.

A/N: OK, this is my last silly chapter. After this, I'm going to actually start writing the dramatic stuff, thoughts and feelings and whatnot. But this popped into my head first and refused to just stay there, and my head made my fingers type it and put it here… ahem, anyway, this gives a little insight into the way Chi Chi's mind works and why she always freaks out over nothing.

Blindness. Lost limbs. Third-degree burns. Broken bones. Brain damage. Electrocution. Suffocation. Stabbing. Beating. Shooting. Beheading. Disembowelment. Dismemberment. Chi Chi's mind was filled with a number of gruesome things that could have befallen Gohan on his way to school. I never should have let him go! she thought miserably. She had a sudden vision of her son lying in a ditch bleeding to death, wondering where she was. Her maternal instincts switched into high gear.

"HOLD ON, GOHAN! MOMMY'S COMING!" she cried, grabbing her keys. Just then, she heard a car pull up outside the house. The keys dropped to the floor as she clapped her hands over her mouth. Oh, no. It's the police! They found his body and came to notify me. Oh, Kami, he's dead! Chi Chi rushed out the door, screeching hysterically. "NOT MY LITTLE GOHAN!"

Bulma looked up in surpise as her friend, screaming like a mad woman, smacked into the driver's- side door of her aircar and flipped over into the passenger's seat. Her knees were hanging over the door, and her head rested against Bulma's leg.

"Um, are you OK, Cheech?" Bulma asked.

"Ngeehhh…" Chi Chi groaned in response. That had really hurt.

"You should really be more careful," Bulma warned. "I doubt that's good for the baby."

That hadn't even occurred to Chi Chi. What if she'd hurt the baby? Her hands went immediately to her abdomen. Who knows what kind of damage that could have done? Her mind raced with possibilities. Birth defects. Brain damage. Premature labor. Stillbirth. Miscarriage.

"No!" she screamed. "First Goku dies, then Gohan's murdered on his way to school, and now I've killed my unborn child! My love is the kiss of death!"

Bulma looked to the sky as though it could answer her question. Kami, why do I always get her when she's hysterical?

"All right, just calm down. I'm sure the baby's fine. Besides, I can't take you shopping if you're crying."

"Shopping? Why would we go shopping?"

"Maternity clothes. Duh," Bulma replied, starting the engine.

Chi Chi scrambled into a sitting position as the car took to the air. "Maternity clothes? I already have some from when I was pregnant with Gohan!"

Bulma burst out laughing. "You can't wear those!" They were now flying over the trees. "They've been out of style for years!"

Although it was probably true, Chi Chi couldn't see why it mattered. She was going to gain 110 pounds (if her first pregnancy was any indication- Saiyan babies were huge!), and look like she had a beach ball strapped to her stomach. Besides, who was going to care if her clothes were old? And she didn't want to go out and have fun if her children were dead.

"Thanks, but I really don't think I need to go shopping."

Bulma looked at her over the top of her sunglasses. "Oh yes you do."

Returning home that afternoon laden with shopping bags, Chi Chi had nearly forgotten her earlier panic about Gohan and the baby. But on opening the door and finding her son sitting at the kitchen table, munching contentedly on a bowl of popcorn, everything came rushing back to her.

"Gohan! You're alive!" she cried, dropping her purchases and engulfing the bewildered boy in a tight hug. "I was so worried about you!"

"Can't… breathe…" he wheezed for the second time that day. She just squeezed him harder. Bulma stepped in and tried to pry Chi Chi's arms off of Gohan, eventually succeeding in loosening her grip enough to let him escape. He stood a few feet away, gasping for air. "What was that for?"

"Yeah, Cheech. Why do you always freak out like that? Such a pessimist," Bulma added.

Chi Chi thought about it for a second. Why did she always assume the worst? Most of the time, things turned out fine. And even though she knew deep down that everything was OK, she worried about anything that could possibly go wrong. But why? Sure, bad things happened, but bad things happened to other people and they didn't react like she did.

"Well," she said slowly, choosing her words carefully, "I think it's because… if I think about all the bad things that could happen, it… it sort of prevents them from happening. With the Cell Games, for example, I spent the whole time worrying about Gohan, and he was fine. I was so sure that Goku would come out all right. But if I'd worried about him, too…" she trailed off. Tears of guilt rose unbidden to her eyes. It made her sick to think about it, that she could have saved him and failed.

"Mom," Gohan began, looking unusually serious for a nine-year-old. "That wasn't your fault. Worrying has no effect on whether or not something happens."

"He's right, you know," Bulma added soflty, putting an arm around her friend. "Even if it feels like it'll help, worrying will just make you crazy. Lighten up and everything will be fine!"

Sniffling, Chi Chi smiled at her companions. "I'm sorry. It is pretty silly, isn't it? I'll try to stop, but… it's just become a habit."

"No prob, Cheech. We can be patient. And speaking of patient people, we got something for you, Gohan." Bulma pulled the hottest new videogame in town out of a shopping bag. "Your mom and I agreed you deserved something special. But I basically had to twist her arm to get her to agree to this."

"Kung Fu Zombies IV!" Gohan cried happily. "Thanks, Mom!" He hugged her. "Thanks, Bulma!" He hugged her too, but since she wasn't exactly used to the force involved in a jubilant half-Saiyan hug, she bumped into the counter. When she did so, a capsule fell from her purse and rolled across the counter, into the sink, and down into the garbage disposal. All three froze in shock.

"Oh, please tell me that wasn't what I think it was!" Bulma groaned, digging through her purse. She sighed. "It was."

"What was it?" Chi Chi and Gohan asked simultaneously, wearing identical expressions of horror.

"My car." They gasped, their faces growing pale. "Don't worry about it, guys. I've got plenty more," she said as they both began apologizing profusely.

"Bulma, I'm so sorry! Please, take our car to get home. It's the least we can do," Chi Chi offered. Gohan nodded wordlessly, looking absolutely miserable.

"Nah, I'll just call Vegeta and have him come get me. He totally owes me, anyway," Bulma replied nonchalantly, grabbing the phone.

Gohan and Chi Chi would be the first to admit they didn't really get Vegeta, but they were both pretty sure asking him to pick you up was not on the list of safe things to do. Nevertheless, they watched silently as Bulma dialed Capsule Corps.' phone number. They could hear it ringing. And ringing. And ringing. Finally, on the 12th ring, someone picked up. Bulma held the phone about a foot from her ear.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!" Vegeta bellowed. The Sons could hear him from across the room. Bulma put the phone back up to her ear.

"Hi, Vegeta! It's me! Listen, I'm at Chi Chi's and I'm having some car problems. Can you come get me?" They couldn't make out what his answer was, but Bulma smirked maliciously. "Fine then. I'll just give Yamcha a call. He doesn't have a car, but I'm sure he'd be more than happy to carry me- but I might not be home till morning in that case. Kiss Trunks goodnight for me." She held the phone at arm's length. Vegeta snarled something incomprehensible in a very loud voice and slammed down the phone. Bulma sighed and hung up.

"I lose more phones that way," she said. "Better wait outside or he'll break your door down."

"Sure," Chi Chi replied as she and Gohan followed her outside. "But why'd you tell him that? Yamcha has a car. And you would ask him to take you home, right?"

"Tch. Of course. He has unresolved issues with Yamcha, so I use it to my advantage. When I called Yamcha yesterday to tell him about you, Vegeta pulled the phone out of the wall and smashed it on the floor. He's so possessive," she giggled. Apparently, she thought it was cute. Chi Chi, on the other hand, thought it was scary.

Luckily, he arrived just then, so she didn't have to pretend it was normal that he destroyed phones at the mention of Yamcha. He grunted at them, about the only form of greeting Vegeta ever bestowed on the Sons, then slung his wife over his shoulder and took to the air.

"Vegeta!" they heard her shrieking. "This is no way to treat a lady! Carry me nicely!" And to their surprise, he stopped and hovered in mid-air, and adjusted her so that one arm supported her back and the other was under her knees. She put her arms around his neck, then waved at her dumbfounded friends. "See you guys tomorrow!"

Vegeta whirled around to find them watching. A violent blush crept across his face before he sped away.

"That… was weird," Gohan said.

"Very," Chi Chi agreed, before ushering him inside.

A/N: OK, enough silliness. The next chapter is serious (mostly), and has a lot more to do with Goten. I just couldn't resist describing Chi Chi's thought process and having the Vegeta's-jealous-of-Yamcha thing! Veggie-chan always brings a smile to my face. I'm almost done with chapter 5. Please review!