A/N: Okay, one thing to keep in mind here is that Steve is the much more adult, mature Steve in this chapter. He has to be, he's had ten years to learn it…but he doesn't know all. Also, in case you get confuse, all the stuff with Tessa is a flashback…I think its obvious…but I could very well be wrong, and if it isn't, tell me so I can change it and perfect it later. Also, none of you know Hyde…in the time to come you will know why he is the way he is…for now just go with it. Hope I got everything, if not…Let me know! I love to hear what mistakes I made.
Dedication: This goes out to Tens, who has had a bad week. Hope it gets better! And in case not…well, you can read this depressing chapter…if that helps of course. See ya!
And, as always, review responses are at the end!
Steve's POV
Tantrums turn into "fits" at the age of eight, and "fits" turn into "acting up" at the age of thirteen. But what I had just witnessed couldn't be categorized as "acting up" even in the circumstances. I would call it "troubling madness manifested in delinquent and rebellious behavior". I wondered to myself what Darry would call it after everything he had to deal with when Pony was thirteen and even fourteen. The only way to find out would be to ask him.
Numb and twisting my keys in my calloused hand, I trudged up to the door of Darry's house. He was essentially my brother now, even parent. He took care of the family like a parent would, and I found myself included in that even before I left my family twiddling their thumbs in dust. Lucky for me, this family hadn't left me when I needed them most, nor would they no matter what I did. Darry and his wife had made that perfectly clear, not to mention the rest of the Curtis siblings and gang.
The front door was open, and I could hear my screaming boy before I made it to the three stairs leading to the porch. He sure wasn't happy. Letting the screen door fall behind me with a crash, I went straight to Mckell and took my red eyed, and more than distraught son. If no one knew better they might think he was dying with way he acted when sick.
"Thanks, Mckell." I remarked as he settled down in my arms and his scream lessened to a loud whimper.
She smiled graciously, "Not a problem. He just wanted his daddy. That's how all sick kids get."
I sat down in a rocking chair that skirted the living room. Luke had always loved the rocking chair, I guess most kids did, but it was a sure fire way to get him to calm down and possibly even sleep unless he was in a lot of pain.
"When will Darry be home?" I asked after I was settled and Luke was a little more calm.
Mckell stopped for a second and then looked around to a clock, "In the next ten or fifteen minutes I would guess. He said he was letting the crew off early today."
I nodded, "Would you mind if I stuck around till then? I really need to talk with him."
"Not a problem. Cole is in the playroom with the other kids, I'm just cooking. You are welcome to stay for as long as you need, Steve. You know that." She smiled at me, handed me a child's blanket to put over Luke and the thermometer, "Make yourself comfortable. Let me know if you need anything." Then she was gone with her gracious smile still intact. I vaguely wondered what it would be like if Darry hadn't met such a sweet girl, but then closed that from my thoughts. It didn't matter now, what was done was done. Something I had to constantly remind myself of.
The rocking action of the chair I was sitting soon calmed Luke to near sleep. Sometimes he got a fever for no apparent reason and would sleep it off. I hoped that he would. Later I would have to track Hyde down and get him home for the night; I wasn't looking forward to it.
Trying to get my mind off of the situation at hand, I drifted back to the memories that I now cherished more than I would gold; those involving my wife Tessa. This time I particularly thought about the first time I met Hyde. He was a little boy, one and a half to two, hanging onto the back of his mom's leg at the door. Tessa and I had a date that night, just a fun one, although we were becoming more serious by then.
I grinned down at the little dark haired boy with small curls hanging in his face, and his green eyes staring up at me hesitantly. I had seen him before a few times, but not for long. Tessa was normally ready and waiting for me.
"Hi, babe. You ready to go?" I asked, finally looking up to her. I could tell her make-up was only half done, and she was only in a tank top and cut off sweat shorts. I thought she was beautiful even then, she didn't need much to look amazing in my eyes.
"Umm…." She looked down at herself, "Can you watch Hyde for me for a minute while I finish up? He's been wild today, but I you just sit and play with him, he'll be fine." She commented, swinging him up on her hip and moving for me to come in.
I went in, the little house was furnished in old brown furniture and a teal kitchen, all the same it was cozy in a way. There were toys spread all over the floor, obviously to keep the little monster as Tessa sometimes called him, occupied. But it was clean, and organized, something I knew Tessa took care of most the time.
Looking back at Tessa, I raised my eyebrows to show my discomfort. Not that I didn't think the little kid was cute, I had to admit he kinda was, but I didn't even know how to play with a seven year old, let alone a baby. He cant even talk!
"Steve, relax, I'll just be in the other room if you need me. You just sit there and hand him toys and talk to him and make funny faces so he'll laugh. Its easier than you think." She pointed to a small room just inside the hallway to the right, obviously the bathroom, "I'll be right there." She smiled, put Hyde down on the ground amidst his toys, and kissed my cheek before leaving.
Tessa knew me too well now, and I had to be grateful for it then…but it was hard to imagine that she had a kid, the way she acted with us, just normal. And yet, she was the most mature and responsible girl I knew…because of Hyde.
I sat down next to him and tried to hand him a toy. He screamed, took it, and threw it away from him.
I was startled back to reality when Luke started screaming in my ear again. I sighed and rocked harder, then saw what had woken him. Darry had just walked in the door, hanging his jacket on a rack by the door, he was now taking off his dirty boots.
"Hey, Dar." I said once Luke was calming again.
He looked up, "Looks like you have your hands full, Steve."
"Don't we all? Luke's sick again." I sighed.
"Oh? Is everyone else sick then too?" He stopped and slid down on the couch as McKell came out.
"Nah, just my little Luke. He can't fight off much. The other kids will be fine I'm sure."
He nodded, "That's good to hear. Sorry he's sick again."
"Hi, hunny." McKell walked over to darry and sat down in his lap for a second, kissing him, "You want food or a drink or anything?"
"Water would be great, babe. Thanks."
I could tell Darry was exhausted, it had been a long day for all of us apparently, but I couldn't spare him this now.
"Dar, I need to talk to you –"
McKell came back a glass of cold water on the table between us, "Let me know if you men need anything else." She knew it was talking time for us.
Darry took a glup as she left and looked at me seriously, "Right. How are things going, Steve?"
I looked down and then back up, "Not bad, if you take Hyde out of the equation."
Darry nodded, seeming to know exactly where I was going with the whole conversation, "He's taken this harder than anyone." He said sadly. We all still missed Tessa, it hadn't been long enough for our wounds to be closed, but it was obvious to all that Hyde was still bleeding.
"Dar, he hasn't said so much as hi to me since he came back. It's been three weeks."
He sighed and put his head in his hands before running a hand through his hair and staring me straight in the eyes, then taking another long drink of his water.
"I try so hard, Darry. But I think he blames me. We came over here and he went off about how I only care about my own kids, and that they get all the attention. Then told me I should have just let Tessa die with Luke…."
"You know he didn't mean that, Steve. He's just struggling with this whole thing, it's gotta be hard for him. "
I sighed, trying to contain the frustration I had. I knew being calm was my only chance here, "That's the first time he's talked to me in three weeks. I think he meant every word of it, otherwise he would have kept his mouth shut and spared the effort."
"Steve, he was being rash. A thirteen year old doesn't understand the importance of being level headed, and they don't know how to be in times like these. He's acting up because he doesn't know how else to deal with the feelings he has. Why would he think that you would let her die?"
I shrugged, so overwhelmed with the situation that I wanted to break down and cry. Even if Hyde wasn't my son by birth, I had adopted him years ago, when Tessa and I married. I wanted nothing more than to talk to him, to be his father and friend, and he blamed me a death I myself couldn't take well either. I knew that in the last few months, following the shock and pain of Tessa's death I had screwed up big time with my kids. Luckily, Darry had stepped in, taking them into his home for a few weeks until I could get back on my feet and be a parent. Now I knew that that was all wrong, I had ruined anything I had with Hyde the day I stopped taking care of him.
"He doesn't. That was his way of telling me I had failed him. He wont talk to me because I messed up, Dar. I became the drunk in my father that I swore so many years ago to avoid. I failed Hyde and all my kids when that happened, and Hyde saw the demon in me. He hates me for it, he's scared of me for it, and most of all, he will never forgive me for it."
Darry leaned again on his elbows, not letting me break any eye contact with him, "Now you listen to me, Steve. You are nothing like your father. You are a great dad, you take care of and love those kids, and Hyde more than anything. Truth be told I was a little worried when you told us you and Tess were getting married. I didn't know if you could take care of Hyde, or any other kids you might have…but you did. Steve, you didn't fail em, you took a few weeks off, like going on vacation." He swallowed hard, "I know how hard you are working now, I know things are tough. I talk to Soda a lot these days. But don't you give up on Hyde. He's a teen. Fourteen is the worst age; Pony showed me that and so did Daniel, and Hyde is all but there. Give him more time, treat him like you always have, love him, feed him, push him, but don't give up on him."
I didn't know what to say to all of that, I didn't know if I believed it or not. So I decided to say nothing. I looked down at Luke, a boy more precious than words, all of my kids were to me, even Hyde. Looking back on the life I had, I wondered how my father was the way he was, and how my mother didn't fly over the edge. But none of that mattered now, only my family mattered, and that ugly part called my parents was long gone.
Luke was finally sleeping, not even fussing in his sleep as he normally did when sick. I rubbed some of his already strawberry blond hair out of his face and felt his forehead. It was warm, but much cooler than before. Maybe he didn't have as high a fever as we thought. The thermometer sat on the coffee table in front of us. I didn't want to move much and wake up Luke, so I asked Darry to help me out.
"Hey, Darry, will you get that thermometer and help me here. I want to make sure his fever aint too high."
He willingly got up and helped me place it under Luke's armpit, "Thanks, for everything I mean."
"You don't need to thank me, families don't thank each other, they only help each other. It's a fact of life."
I knew Darry always considered me a part of the family, and even all the kids, but he never forgot to remind me at times like these that I really was. As far as him and everyone else besides the government were concerned, I was honest to goodness, bllod relative. History went a long way with people like this. We shared too many memories to not be family now.
Darry pulled the thermometer out and shook it to get a reading, "Well, its high, but nothing to worry over till the morning."
I nodded. Luke was normally that way, he spiked and then went back down.
Darry sat back down and looked at me, "Something tells me Im still missing something."
I partially shrugged, "Other than the fact that Hyde practically ran from me an hour ago, you have the whole story."
"So he left?"
"Yeah…" I clenched my jaw hard and wondered how I would fix this one. I might be thirty-one with three kids, but that didn't make me a genius or even an experienced adult in this stuff. Hyde had always been a great kid, other than a few fights which was to be expected.
Darry leaned back taking a deep breath, "You don't know where he is?"
"Or what to do." I ended his sentence.
"Right." He nodded, got up and stretched some, "Let me take a shower and think on it. He wont get all that far, he's never done this before. Besides, he might just be at home, or might come home on his own. Don't worry over it too much yet, buddy."
Hyde's POV
I stalked away, not really knowing what it was I was doing or where I was going. AllI knew was this: Steve was my dad, but for some reason, since mom died, it didn't matter; he didn't feel like my dad. The truth was something a retard could figure if given the time I had had on my hands, I had no blood family left that I knew. I didn't even think dad knew who my real father was, or how that happened. It was some secret that my mom obviously felt fit to take to the grave with her and only her. All the same, I didn't feel like I had anything left when she went, and I didn't care – mostly because I couldn't.
Really, I hadn't meant to snap at my dad like that, but if anyone deserved it he did. He practically abandoned us just weeks before, sent us to Darry's because he "couldn't handle it". Well, the truth was, I couldn't either, but I didn't matter, and I didn't have an out. School was still there, and I was living my uncle taking care of my half kid brothers. Sure, I loved them, but I needed my time too. Then when we went back to dad, I just had to step up even more. I could tell he was trying, but that didn't matter anymore. I couldn't tell him how much I hated him for the last month, and I couldn't do anything anyway. So I guess that's how it came out being.
The sun was still high in the sky, but I planned for the moon to be to that same point before I went home. If he only cared about the little boys in the family, HIS boys, I would take my freedom into my own hands. I sick of putting up with shit, and that was that.
Soon I found myself on the East side, what was still known as the poor, bad side of town. Mom said she lived over here, and all my "family" had in their youth, but that wasn't why I was there. I was there to see a few buddies. I didn't go around much, but when I showed up they seemed to like it. I was here to see them, because they could light up any bad night with some new idea and a little booze to get going. Sometimes, I just needed the buzz of being with these guys, although if my mom or dad ever knew they might flip a lid. At least dad was okay with me drinking a little on the circumstances that he knew, and he knew one responsible "adult" would be there. He was very strict about drinking, an odd one with that; never told me why.
Tonight was my exception to telling "dad". I was mad, more angry than he could ever imagine, more regretful than he knew, and planning to be more wild than he ever was. This was my time, that was all the mattered to me after two months of loathing and never ending pain. My comfort was this: he would never find me in time to stop me.
Yeah, don't kill me for that ending…you will find out soon enough. Im going to string you along, and if you hate that…well, deal with it.
On we go!
Tensleep: Thanks Tens! Well, yeah, Hyde is full of attitude, I think that that's fun to write…reminds me of me when Im mad…hmm…anyway. I love Luke and Cole too much too, of course I should, I made em, but I just see them being too cute. With Steve and a cute wife of his, how could they not be? Thanks for the encouragement. I am loving writing this for now… and there is plenty left to unfold. I do a lot of that if you cant tell. Anywho, thanks! I hope you enjoyed this one. I didn't like it much…but it has its moments. See ya!
Tessie26: Eventually all the "secrets" will unravel. You got to see some of Hyde in here, and I hope you are starting to understand him soon. The rest about Steve and Tessa meeting and Hyde and all that jazz will come out as the story goes on. I love to do that, make my stories puzzles, I guess. Hope you enjoy anyhow! Thanks for the review! Hoped you enjoyed the chapter!
Ale Curtis-Carter: Thanks! Glad you like it so far. Yeah, Steve and Hyde have a ton to work out, but time does amazing things wink. Thanks again, and here's to hoping you enjoyed this one as much!
Keira: Yeah…you didn't review…but whatever. I know you read it, bad girl forgetting. My gosh…and I thought you liked it! Lol, just playing. Thanks for the non-review. I left the end a secret from you…so you better be reading this! And reviewing very soon too!
