Drunken Movie Making by Rumors
"An'… an'… then that's when the zombies show up!"
Methos blinked as he entered Joe's. Richie sat at the bar, umpteenth glass of beer in his hand, Joe and Duncan doing their level best to not outright laugh at the young Immortal. "What's going on?" he asked Joe.
"He's dead drunk, and we're getting to hear all about some movie he wanted to make when he was a kid," Joe replied, pouring another beer for Richie already.
"Sounds like a good time," Methos said, helping himself to a bottle.
Duncan, barely holding on, covered his mouth before coughing and asking, "What happens next?"
"The zombies eat people's brains, but the… the… thingies. Them. You know, the ones with the 'Arrr' and have patchy eyes." Richie pouted, unable to summon the word he was searching for.
There was a pause before Methos hazarded a guess. "Pirates?"
Richie's face lit up, and he grinned. "Yeah! S'it! Pirates." He paused to finish off the rest of his beer, only to have the one Joe had readied placed in front of him. "They win, too, cause they've got swords, like us! … We're the pirates. Yeah! Ooo, that's good. Write that down."
"I'm writing, Richie, don't worry." Duncan didn't even have to pretend writing; the young man was so far gone.
"But, the pirates, see, the pirates can't fight the aliens. Cause the aliens've got lasers. Swords don't win against lasers, you know."
"Richie, if we're the pirates, lasers can't kill us," Duncan tried to reason with him.
"S'a movie, Duncan, it's not really us," Richie explained like it was perfectly obvious. "Anyway, we have to team up with ninjas, cause ninjas can't get hit by lasers, but they don't know how to kill the aliens."
"Then how are the aliens defeated?" Methos asked, not bothering to mask his amusement.
Richie was taken aback for a moment, his alcohol soaked brain unable to quickly come up with a solution to Methos' question. "Well…" he started. "Well, they build these machines that'll fight with people in them, like Gundams! And that's how they beat the aliens."
The three sober men looked at each other for a moment, the unspoken question of "What's a Gundam?" hanging between them.
"But that's when the sharks grow legs and kill everybody," Richie stated matter-of-factly before passing out on the bar.
Methos smiled and said, "We need to do this again, sometime soon."
"I think once is enough," Duncan said.
"It should be, considering I did write everything down." Joe smirked. "He's not gonna want to get drunk again for a long time when he hears all about his brilliant masterpiece."
Joe, Methos, and Duncan laughed while Richie snored on, oblivious for now.
As a side note, the ingredients for a perfect movie or video game are:
1) Zombies
2) Pirates
3) Ninjas
4) Aliens
5) Lasers
6) Gundams
7) Sharks (optional)
