I walk this pointless death filled life

I live this pointless death life

I see the pointlessness of strife

once long ago my body was whole

once long ago I possessed a soul.

Once very long ago I truly lived

some times I remember

sometimes I forget

sometimes its December.

Death surrounds my actions

Death is my actions

Death is my salutations

love is my nightmare

love is my dream

love is my undying wish

my son hates me

my son doesn't know me

my son was hidden from me

all my days are spent in disbelief

disbelief at myself the monster

only once was I free of the monster

a child blue eyed short and very much loved

lived a peaceful happy life once long ago

before the virus hatched inside...