I was always told to savor what is real and to embrace what I can keep yet today there is nothing. As I pick myself up from the cold, steel floor of the ice academy, my mind is racing with question and reminisce. Why had I sold my soul to the Dark Side? Why did I give in to hate when I could have kept who I loved most by my side.

My hands were trembling by now and the speck of brilliance, the warm blue of my eyes turned to cold steel. I had learned to hate, become a monster – but when I saw her again, it was as if a thousand years had breathed into the space between us.

"And now look what I am." I said aloud. How could Revan do this to me, how could I become such a heartless monster.

It started as an innocent way to become stronger, to save those who couldn't hold justice. I need someone to save me, but what if I don't want to be saved, what if I just want to wallow in the darkness that has so long destroyed the life within my heart.

(Third Person POV)

Darth Narius kept his eyes on what was ahead of him, yet his eyes still looked back at the past he had destroyed for himself. He had sealed the fate of so many people, inhumanly destroyed all for the sake of power.

"After a long time we lost ourselves." He recognized that friendly voice.

He sighed, pursed his lips together and turned around to meet the emotionless face of Atton Rand. Had he come to pass judgment on him like so many did – like the council and even his own Master had?

"Have you come to judge me Jedi?" His voice was calm and flat as land.

Atton looked at him thoughtfully, his brown eyes bearing into the emotionless, steel eyes of the Sith Lord. "I will do what is right Darius." He was quiet. "But what is right is not always the best way. However, as a Jedi I am obligated to the safety of my students and the world. As a Sith Lord I must sentence you to death."

He watched silently as the scoundrel went for his saber. Narius was silent but didn't know if he should submit himself, to walk to his sentence again so willingly.

'I walked to my sentence to the Council a long time ago.' The green saber was in his hand. 'But he is my friend, if I fight, it will be to kill. And I cannot run.'

All these emotions – now he truly knew that he was betrayed. Narius too went for his saber, the silver handle of Blood Barren was appropriately. Darth Narius unhooked the saber…

"I can't kill you." He said sadly, his voice rich in sorrow and apology. "After all the lives I have taken, the many I have disowned and hurt I cannot kill my only friend." With that he threw his saber down. It landed with a loud and distinct CLANG before landing at the feet of the Jedi Knight.

"I'm sorry Atton, I'm not a Jedi and I'm not a Sith. I am an Exile, truly I am. No matter what I do, there will be no other alternative but suffering. I have wrought this punishment upon myself and nothing will change it. Do what must be done." This time he spoke with calm and a bitter tone. His steel eyes were empty – empty with betrayal, loneliness, pain, and heartbreak.

"I'm sorry old friend." The scoundrel whispered. He had been waiting for this moment; he knew it was to come.

"It is good to be here with you Atton Rand… here where I am at the end."

He closed his eyes tightly awaiting the inevitable. Bowing his head, he could feel the searing heat of the blazing green saber approach.

"I can never forget what I did those years ago." He laughed with his friends on the surface shortly after the battle on Malachor. The waves dragged at his feet during the whole time. "I will never forget any of you. Atton, Brianna, Bao-Dur and Mira all of you are the best friends I could ask for."

They laughed in unison. Atton made his usual cocky remark. "Ya know what, out of all the schuttas in the galaxy, you're the best one I've ever had."

Darius raised a sarcastic eyebrow. "Had?"

Atton turned red. "Well er- er… That's not fair!" He put on his whine which he was most famous for on the Ebonhawk.

Darius punched him in the ribs. "Atton, is there something you want to tell the rest of us?" Everyone was on the sandy surface, doubling over and roaring with laughter.

Darius as well couldn't help but keep down a small snigger. "You know I'm just teasing you. Friends?" He asked, hands up defensively as the scoundrel approached.

Atton turned around and crossed his arms grudgingly… "More like best friends."

Darius laughed wholeheartedly.

The heat became intense…

He was comprising his small, pathetic wardrobe to take with him to the Unknown Regions back on the Ebon Hawk. Darius noted that the whole crew's mood turned from happy to sorrow as soon as they stepped up on the loading ramp.

"You really are leaving." He put down his pack, turning around to meet the beautiful blue eyes of the Handmaiden, Brianna.

"Yes, and no," He added quickly. "you can't follow." His voice was flat and final and that was that.

She looked at the floor but quickly lifted her head up. "Consider this Exile, you will be alone in a region… with no friends. Your only protection is yourself, what if something happens to you?" Her voice was soft and as angelic as angels were.

He considered what she had said. Indeed if something did happen to him, that would be the end of his mission but a risk was a risk and he wasn't willing to put his friends in such a big one. Besides, having the ones he loved present only put more anxiety on his already heavy heart.

With every step he led people to their victory or demise – this mission was almost a complete assured failure. He personally did not understand why he was going. "If something does happen," He turned his attention to a little globe lingering on the bunk. He lifted the little orb up with the Force. "then it happens. This risk is mine and mine alone. I am to find Revan, help him defeat the Sith and only then can I promise you peace."

He put the orb down and turned back to her, noticing his stricken expression. He would love to take her, even the rest of the crew with him but that was impossible, and he knew it. 'Why am I even entertaining the idea?' He thought, putting a hand on his forehead.

"I will bring you peace Brianna, I promise."

She nodded, closing her eyes. Darius could notice shimmering tears about to fall onto her beautiful, porcelain cheeks. "Do you promise?" It was as if a child clinging to its parent(s) but Darius knew it was something more.

He walked over to her and hugged her, his long hair mixing with her soft, white locks of hair. He rested his head on hers while she on his chest. "I promise." His voice was barely a whisper.

How he wished and longed that he could hold onto her like this forever but that would only make leaving harder. However, there was a time to savor love and peace and this was one of the only moments in about ten years he had truly felt at peace.

He closed his eyes while she nestled closer into him, her face into his soft, brown robes. The leather tabards were not so cold but warm. Darius pulled her closer to him, not wanting to let her go away from him again.

"I love you…" His voice trailed off before he noticed her sobbing into his tunic. He contorted his face in concern.

"What's wrong?" His voice was soft and gentle. She looked up into his warm blue eye - hers welled up with tears.

"I- I don't want to leave you. Darius, this is truly the first time I have ever felt at home somewhere. Home is not the Ebon Hawk but it is where you are – I felt that way ever since… ever since." She gasped and fell onto his chest. He bit his lower lip, looking down at her.

He sensed a while ago that she had become emotionally attached to him but not this close.

"It hurts me to leave you." He whispered, pulling away and picking up his bag. "But I really must go. And I will return, I promise." One last look the Jedi headed for the door and never looked back at them again…

He looked up to see the green saber, only an inch above him stopped quickly by a red blade, the cape of his rescuer covering his face.