Tasty cookies for my reviewers! Baked them myself:) With chocolate. Good for sanity!

And I to all who didn't know: Erik doesn't belong to me but to Gaston Leroux or Susan Kay... or was it the guy who wrote the script for the silent movie? Or for the movie with Charles Dance? Or was it ALW? Or, wait, was it... Becky Meadows... mwahahahahaaaa Anywho...

But Carla is definitely mine. My own sweet little Carla who creeped out of my head without ever asking permission. Wanna borrow her, just ask me!

But now I'll give you what you came for! Carla's thoughts about poor, poor Erik... who artfully and with all the innocence of his desperate dark love raped her by voice and hand... Hmmmm...

-Chapter Fifteen - Lost Mind-

Back home. Finally! It never felt so good to unlock a door and close it again behind her.

The twilight of dawn drips in through the windows, when Carla tiptoes into the bathroom to wash and disinfect her injured hands.

The shadow that appears on the threshold after a while, doesn't move, until Carla grows aware of it's presence and terribly starteled turns around.

"Leah! Darn! Never do this to me again!" she shouts at her friend, when she realizes that it's her and no one else.

"I could say the same, dearest." Leah retorts "Where have you been all night and with whom have you wrestled that your hands look like that? I woke up when you banged the door shut; I ran after you but you were already gone around some corner when I reached the street."

Carla swallows and turns back to the washing-basin.

"I can't tell you what happened... It's so crazy that you wouldn't believe it anyway. But it's over now. Let's just forget about it, alright?"

"Man." Leah groans while she returns to the bedroom "I always knew that you were different, but this absolutely beats all I ever ex..." she stops.

"Leah?" carfully drying her hands with a clean cloth, Carla leaves the bathroom. When she passes around the corner to the bedroom, she can see what hushed her friend.

Carla's bed that was still a mess when she entered the flat, is now tidied up. And in the middle of the neatly folded bed-cover, showing the never-dying expressionlessness of a doll's face, lies a white mask.

Once more all strenght leaves her body and she ungracefully lands on the floor.

"Damn!" she sobs "Damn, I thought it was over!"

"What is over, Carla..." Leah mumbles, never taking her eyes off the white polished wood "What is over? And what is that thing on your bed?"

"You know perfectly well what it is, Miss Phan!" Carla answers, unnerved fury overpowering the fear in her voice for a moment.

"No, I don't know what it is, because it can't be what I think that it is!" Leah groans.

"So? I thought you were a believer!... It is what you think it is."

There is an instance of silence.

"But..." Leah eventually mumbles "How did it get here?"

"He brought it over, I guess."

"Erik was in this room?" Leah's eyes grow wide "Erik visited my bedroom? Man.. I... always thought I would... die of happyniess or whatnot that day, but... I... I feel just... it's disturbing... and..." with a helpless sigh she sits down on the floor beside Carla.

"Don't even try to understand it." Carla recommends. "Feel blessed that it's only his mask that you have to confront."

"So you actually met him...?"

"I really don't want to explain it to anyone... Let's go have some breakfast." and with that she drags Leah to her feet, leaving the mask behind as if it were a poisonous animal.

"I would say we seize the early hour and go strolling around Montmartre. It surely is just beautiful this time of the day."

"And I would say you put that mask out of the bedroom and we both get some sleep. It's bloody half past five in the morning." Leah yawns.

"To me it's around ten a.m."

"Lucky you." she gets up and prepaires to leave the room "We can still go to Montmartre when it's a decent time of day to me, too."

"Leah, you can't leave me alone now, I beg you!" desperatly Carla clings to Leah's sleeve. "I'll make you a strong coffee, I'll buy you an espresso in every café you wish, I'll do everything, but please stay up and distract me!"

"Man, you're really broken down, aren't you?"

"I thought he'd never let me go, Leah, I thought he would keep me down there forever!" Carla begins to sob.

"Oh, sweetheart, don't cry, please..." Leah groans, embracing her gently. "I won't leave you alone. Wanna go to Montmartre? Fine, I come with you."

"But I won't tell you anything, Leah."

And this Carla does. No word passes her lips, while she tries hard to listen to Leah's goodwilled performance of non-stop babbling.

It's only when they sit down in the grass in the Jardins de Luxembourg, that Leah falls silent for a moment.

"Think out loud, Carla, or I will go crazy, too." she finally states. "What the hell happened!"

Carla sighs and picks up a fallen leaf.

"Remember the guided tour?"

"It was the day before yesterday, Carla. Of course I remember."

"From my perspective it's over two weeks ago. Erik has a fast forward time ellipsoid under the Opera."

"Well..." Leah looks at her with a really stupid expression "I will just take that as given and ask no more..."

"On that tour he saw me. And as he liked how I look and behave..."

"Wait..." Leah interrupts her "You mean he actually stalked the tour? He... he was there?"

"Yes. And he thought you were preoccupied and talkative."

"Why... if you ever see him again, kick him for me..."

"I fell behind because I lost my neckerchief." Carla continues "Erik turned off the lights, I fell into the lake, he dragged me out. He let me go again when I begged him to do so, but he gave me that darn letter and that's why I returned to the Opera. I had to see if there is a gate in Rue Scribe. And, well, there sometimes is a gate."

"So your questions that evening were earnest... And what did you do down there all the time?"

"We talked. About books, him, Christine..."

Leah puts her hands on her hips.

"So you know the true story! Dear, you know what that means..."

"I don't think that he wants anyone else to know it."

Leah pulls a disappointed face.

"Pretty pwease!"

"No... Really, Leah..."

"Nah. Ok. But then tell me what the mask on your bed means."

"It's my key to the gate. He wants me to return. He invites me... And I don't know... I... Perhaps I... Gosh, I wish someone would shoot me in the back right now!"

"Oh, come on, why is it such a problem to figure out if you want to go back?"

Carla shortly looks at her face.

"Surely you remember the confusion his mask produced in you? Now think two steps farther..." she sighs and hides her face in her hands "Man, he's being sad down there now. He surely believes I'm never coming back. And I'm so scared, Leah! What if he comes to kidnap me again? What if he takes me although I don't want it?"

Leah shrugs, utter insecurity in her expression.

"We could call the police to guard the house. But then again, no one can stop Erik..."

"What if I want him to come for me?" Carla whispers "What if I want him to abduct me by force...?"

"Well, then I should slap you." Leah suggests ironically to distract herself from the uncomfortable feeling that the intensity of Carla's fear evokes in her "Who will pay your half of the rent when you're lost somewhere under the Opera?"

"Erik would. He would do anything for me... We sang together..."

Leah leans forward to look at Carla, an exited smile broadening her face as the phan in her finally starts to jump around.

"Oh gosh, you have to tell me about that! Is his voice really so full of beauty and power and stuff?"

"It's terribly beautiful and it... the last time it was... He kind of... deflowered me..."

"What!" Leah's eyebrows shoot up with disbelief "You... you had sex with Erik?"

Carla stares at the grass between her feet.

"No, it... I guess it was more than that."

"More than sex! Would you please explain that to me?"

"We... we... sang and..." Carla stammers on the verge of tears "I don't know, I... I was so terribly afraid, but then I gave in to his voice and it... it was like I fell and fell and his voice and his hands where everywhere, and these feelings... these... It was... so much... and I wanted it to go on, just go on, I thought I'd die if it'd ever end, but... it ended and I was gone and then I was back and it was so horrible and I... He loves me, Leah..."

Dumbstruck, Leah stares at her.

"He loves you?"

Carla nods and gropes for a handkerchief.

"He loves me and I was so afraid that he would not let me go! I thought he would keep me forever and I started to beat against the wall and... And now he suffers because I'm gone. And I feel so bad! I... it could be that I love him, too, Leah... It could be that I love him, and I'm sure that all I want is to run away and hide somewhere he'll never find me, but he's so sad... surely he's sad..."

"Man, you really don't know what you feel."

"So you wanna switch places with me?" Carla growls, suddenly very angry "You think I have all you ever wanted, don't you? I was with Erik, he wanted me, I wanted him; but if you knew what this all means, you wouldn't wish for it anymore!"

"Carla, I'm sorry, I didn't want to offend you." Leah sighs. "This is all just crazy..."

"And surreal." Carla adds, supporting herself on the statue beside her "Absolutely surreal... I feel like I lost my mind... He's wonderful, but he scared the hell out of me." she blinks to get rid of the tears that blur her sight "Could we just stop talking about it?"

Leah sadly looks at her.

"I wish I could help you, hon. I really wish I could help you."

"My hands hurt." Carla suddenly whimpers.

"That I can imagine. Poor bunny." Leah strikes her shoulder "Would some chocolate make it all better?"

"Oh, yes." Carla groans "Erik didn't have any chocolate, can you imagine that, too?"

"No chocolate? No wonder that he's so strange. Chocolate stabilizes the general sanity."

"Buy me chocolate with nuts. I want chocolate with nuts."

The day creeps away, feeling uncomfortable all around.

Inspite of Carla's request, Leah tries to bring up the Erik-topic again a few times because she feels that it would be wrong to leave her alone with the decision, but Carla hushes her every time. So they go on strolling around Paris - as far away from the Opera as possible - mostly in utter silence.

In the evening they cower onto the couch before the telly and zap through stupid movies and bad commercials until Leah falls asleep, exhausted from all the walking and the early beginning of her day. Carla goes on zapping, desperate to quiet the thoughts that want to torment her. It doesn't take long until she, too, falls asleep.