Author's notes: Only two more chapters after this, everyone! I noticed the capitalising mistake the moment I posted, Animegoil, and went to fix it immediately – but unfortunately it took FFNet a while to change it. Gah, I'm an idiot for not picking that up before I posted it. Heh, Ruwalk x Javon? That could be … interesting, Aquajogger. Javon is not quite as loose as Ruwalk is, although I think Ruwalk could have fun trying to break Javon from some of his more serious habits. Thank you to the rest of you as well for your wonderful reviews, especially considering that, for an Alfeegi/Kai-stern/Alfeegi fic, the pair doesn't even spend all that much time together (I'm hopeless at romance!)


Kiss: Overflow. Dash. #10.

Alfeegi was sure his heart had stopped beating the moment Ruwalk had burst breathlessly into his office and told him that Sandi had been attacked. It had taken Sandi's fastest rider almost two days to reach Draqueen, and all that was known of the status of the capitol was that it had come under heavy attack from almost every corner and alleyway. A hasty meeting was called, in which Tetheus had spent all of five minutes at before heading off to Sandi with a selection of troops. In a moment of foolhardy desperation, Alfeegi had tried to convince them that he could be of assistance, his mouth rambling on its own accord even as his heart stayed disturbingly static.

Kai-stern was sure to be fine, Ruwalk had tried to convince Alfeegi, in between sending concerned looks at a frantic Rath, who in the end had to be locked away in his room in an attempt to prevent him from following after Tetheus. Kai-stern would have been staying at the palace after all, according to Ruwalk, and it would be the safest place in the city with all the guards it was sure to have.

Either way, there was nothing that Alfeegi could have possibly done, something that became clear very quickly. So instead, he'd buried himself in his paperwork, or spent his time dashing between his office and Ruwalk's, needing to somehow burn off the frustration and fear that he simply could not let go of.

A day and a half later, another messenger had arrived. The rebel attack had been successfully put down.

And Kai-stern had been injured.

Ruwalk had again been the one to break the news to Alfeegi, and had done so in as gentle a manner as possible, making sure that Alfeegi read himself how the note said that the injury was not serious, and that Kai-stern was reportedly fine. Just a scratch, a slight grazing. Perhaps if it had been slightly more serious then Kai-stern would have been allowed to come home, but even Alfeegi's almost desperate desire to see the other man could not make him to wish that Kai-stern had not been injured at all.

Kai-stern had already been gone 10 months. It was sure to be many more weeks – at least – until he would be home now.

There was a part of him that wondered exactly why he was getting so worked up over Kai-stern, especially when the news had come through that he was fine, if a little battered. It wasn't that everyone else wasn't concerned as well, but Alfeegi was finding that he hadn't yet been able to quite get his heart beating again since the initial shocking news, and he doubted it would until Kai-stern was safely back here in Draqueen.

It was not until the fourth day after they heard of the attack that Alfeegi realized that Javon had been one of the people that had gone with Tetheus to Sandi.

In the week that followed Alfeegi threw himself into his work, rushing through hours of paper work in one sitting. Nights spent in his office absorbed in numbers and calculations were better than ones spent with irrational worry, or simply lost in his own, far too imaginative thoughts. Ruwalk seemed to understand, but that was partly the problem – Alfeegi wasn't sure exactly what it was that Ruwalk understood, considering that Alfeegi had not idea himself. But Ruwalk had just said something about having to figure it out for himself, before gleefully giving him another pile of paperwork that Ruwalk himself should have possibly done.

Sleep, however, still demanded his attention from time to time, and as Alfeegi wearily unlocked the door to his room, intent on gaining a couple of hours rest, he couldn't help but think how this was all Kai-stern's fault.

"You do know it's almost three in the morning?"

Alfeegi's eyes widened in disbelief at the voice – and sight – that greeted him the moment he entered. His normally immaculately made bed was creased and ruffled, the pillows alarmingly out of place. Muddy shoes were placed on the floor at the foot of the bed, a crumpled jacket resting beside them.

And Kai-stern was sitting cross-legged on his bed, a bottle of wine and two glasses resting before him on the bedspread.

"I … you're back." Alfeegi blinked in slight confusion, before his eyes narrowed. "You've made a mess of my room."

"You should see what I did to your bathroom," Kai-stern replied airily. "Although I do think it's unfair that you've got such a huge tub while all I have is a dingy shower in my ensuite. I'm planning on putting in a formal complaint in the morning."

Alfeegi almost, almost went to check. He could just imagine the state of his bathroom, which had never seen a towel out of place or steam left clinging to the surfaces. Kai-stern wasn't known generally for his sloppy nature, but if he could treat Alfeegi's bedroom with such utter disdain for cleanliness … but, Kai-stern was back. Somehow, that was more important.

For now.

Gingerly, Alfeegi stepped over Kai-stern's boots and sat down across the bed from him, the wine sitting between them. He looked down at the glasses before glancing at Kai-stern, an eyebrow raised.

"Remember how you said next time I ever needed to get really, really drunk, I had to get drunk with you?" Kai-stern's smile was slightly strained, and the candlelight that had a way of washing out flaws was not as effective now that Alfeegi was much closer to Kai-stern. Heavy lines marred a usually youthful face, and dark bags fell under normally bright eyes that were now far too dim. Kai-stern was naturally pale, but his skin had taken on a far fairer shade than normal, and everything about his friend just seemed to be drawn so tight and pained.

"I've never heard of this wine before," Alfeegi said, instead of asking any of the many questions that he could of. There was a time and a place for that kind of thing. "Is it a human wine?"

"Actually, Sivian." Kai-stern poured them both a glass. "Not a great year, but it has this way of making humans completely intoxicated after only a couple of glasses. It's the only wine I know of that doesn't take me at least a bottle and a half to get even somewhat drunk on. It doesn't have that same effect on Dragon Clan members, though." A small smile quirked at Kai-stern's lips as Alfeegi's gazed doubtfully at the glass in his hand. "You should almost be able to keep up with me."

Alfeegi had gone out occasionally with Kai-stern for a drink or two. There had been that first night where they had bonded over Alfeegi's broken heart almost three years ago, but usually it was just as a social outing where they could talk over wine in some tavern where Kai-stern often felt more relaxed in than the castle. Kai-stern had told him that it was because taverns were a constant in his travels, with every city, town, or village he visited having at least one. There were times when they seemed more like home than the castle, the human had once admitted, taking thoughtful sips of an expensive wine that Alfeegi would have thought was too upper class for Kai-stern.

But this was different. This was a promise that had been made with true sincerity and trust, and it was the first time that Kai-stern had ever taken him up on his offer.

"You're back earlier than I expected," Alfeegi commented hesitantly as he took a sip of his wine. Kai-stern was right, the wine wasn't of a great vintage, but quality was hardly the point. Kai-stern's smile took on a tighter edge.

"Tetheus sent me home. They didn't really need me there, and Tetheus thought it would be better if I came back and got some rest."

"Your … injury?"

"Is still there." Kai-stern laughed slightly as he took a few sips of his own, scrunching his face just slightly at the bitter taste. "I, Alfeegi." Kai-stern closed his eyes. "I'm not used to this," he finished when he finally opened his eyes again, an almost reluctant honesty reflected there. "I need to get really drunk, and then I'll talk."

It was strange seeing Kai-stern systematically get himself drunk, although there wasn't actually all that much difference between the outward appearances of 'sober' Kai-stern and the 'sloshed' version. Unlike Alfeegi, Kai-stern words didn't slur at all, and while light eyes became a shade darker, they lost none of their intellect. It was almost unfair.

The one difference that Alfeegi did manage to easily pick up on as he talked on about what had happened in Draqueen since Kai-stern had been away, filling the air with empty conversation, was that the more Kai-stern drank, the more impossibly sadder he became. There was not one definite moment or action that gave it away, instead a combination of factors seemed to slowly rise simultaneously to the surface. The way Kai-stern seemed to fold slightly in on himself, how eyes that – yes, still held intellect – clouded over with something akin to pain. Alfeegi had always seen Kai-stern as someone unbreakable, the ease and confidence in which the human held himself contributing to the illusion of strength.

Lit only be candlelight and drunk on poor quality wine, Kai-stern was heartbreakingly fragile. Alfeegi had the feeling that all he had to was touch the other man and he could shatter before Alfeegi's eyes.

"Kai-stern …"

"I can't sleep." Kai-stern didn't raise his eyes from his drink, his gaze seemingly fixated on the red liquid in his glass. "It sounds stupid, doesn't it? I've fought in more than my share of battles, but this one …" he drifted off for a moment. "Every time I close my eyes all I can see is blood. I didn't even have a chance to pay all that much attention to the battle when it was happening, how is it that my thoughts can remember everything in such perfect clarity when everything happened in such a haze in the first place?"

"I heard there were a great deal of causalities." They had never played these roles before, and Alfeegi did not know even where to start. It was always Kai-stern who was the strong one that Alfeegi turned to, this was the first time their roles had ever been reversed.

"721 rebels dead, 130 guards. An estimated 400 civilians. Sandi has never been all that good at keeping records." Kai-stern's short laugh was almost harsh. "All dead in 48 hours, butchered without a single thought for compassion." Haunted eyes managed to meet Alfeegi's. "And I can almost understand, Alfeegi. Almost. Sandi is … is horrible for those who don't have any wealth. They practically practice slavery, although it doesn't quite fall under Draqueen's definition of the term, so I've never had any leverage room there to change anything." The words were bitingly bitter. "The poor don't have any support or assistance, and almost everyone in Sandi is ridiculously poor. There's no health care, and they get underpaid for any work they do manage to find. The rich are obscenely so, and while some changes have been made in the last twenty years, it wasn't enough."

"But the reason why there have been any changes at all is largely because of you, Kai-stern." Alfeegi said the words quietly, resting a gentle hand on Kai-stern's knee as he leaned in towards the other man. "You were the one that set up trade links between Draqueen and Sandi under the condition that they be managed by a government separate from the crown. You were the one who helped set up their government in the first place – after over a thousand of years ruled merely by whoever happened to be King at the time."

"What use is a puppet government? The crown still rules almost completely."

"But only almost. The rebels will get a fair trial, and there have been other occasions when the government has been able to step in. Those moments may be far and few between, but someone once told me that small steps have to be taken first, before bigger ones can be achieved." Alfeegi smiled slightly, but the reference was lost on Kai-stern.

"Those small steps meant that over a thousand people died."

"Kai-stern, that is hardly your fault." Alfeegi protested, helpless eyes holding Kai-stern's dark gaze. "You can only do so much, and you most certainly cannot control those who believe progress can only be found at the end of a blade. That mindset is one that takes hundreds of years to change, not a couple of decades." It looked as though Kai-stern was about to argue, but the last remaining ounce of energy drained suddenly from him instead, and Kai-stern wearily brushed his fingers across his eyes before rubbing them against his temples.

"I know. At least, I know I should. It's just that I can't sleep at all without being woken up almost instantly by the nightmares, and I can't even place blame properly on anyone because they were all so damn horrific to each other." Kai-stern attempted to smile, but his lips only managed a slight wobble. "It was just so brutal, Alfeegi. But I was fine, I had everything under control – how, I'm not entirely sure. It wasn't until I had a moment to myself where I actually had time to think that everything started to fall to pieces, and I'm not exactly sure why. And I don't know how to make it better." Kai-stern was hurting, and even though Alfeegi was often considered blind to such things, there was no way to miss the shuddering breaths and raw emotion that Kai-stern couldn't quite restrain. Before Alfeegi could find words that might possibly be able to alleviate some of it, Kai-stern smiled slightly, one of his perfect (albeit a little tired) smiles that won over others so easily but which Alfeegi had learned to hate. "But it's ok. I'll be fine. I should probably allow you to go to sleep, I'm sure you've got a whole heap of paperwork that needs to be done in the morning."

Perhaps if Alfeegi hadn't had as many drinks he had, then he would have thought of a different way to convince Kai-stern to stay. Kai-stern was too tired to get all the way to his room, he could have argued if he had wanted to be indirect. Alfeegi could have also pinned him with a dark glare and firmly said that there was no way that Kai-stern was leaving in his state, especially not before he let Alfeegi help him in some way. That was the slightly less indirect option.

But Alfeegi had drunken a couple of glasses of Kai-stern's wine, and while certainly not drunk, he was not as level-headed as he usually was. The wine had left him with much of his senses, but had stripped away inhibitions and boundaries.

And Kai-stern was hurting.

That was something, Alfeegi was discovering, that he just could not allow.

And so, Alfeegi leaned in and gently pressed his lips against Kai-stern's. As Kai-stern froze for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around Alfeegi's waist and drawing him in closer, his own lips parting beneath Alfeegi's, it felt all kinds of right. Alfeegi knew it shouldn't have, that it should have been strange and uncomfortable and all sorts of wrong, but the instinct that had drawn him to Kai-stern was not so willing to relinquish its hold now it had what it wanted.

Alfeegi didn't exactly put up that much of a fight.

He had meant for it be a friendly kiss closer to the one that Kai-stern had used to shock him from his depressing thoughts back when they had talked over wine and heartbreak for the first time. But this quickly evolved into something much more. Alfeegi had missed Kai-stern so much, and Kai-stern was so desperately in need of someone to simply hold him for once instead of always being the one doing the holding …

And it was much more than that. Something that Alfeegi did not know how to define but knew that he did not want to end, not as Kai-stern tightened his grip, or as Kai-stern moved his lips away from Alfeegi's and pressed them gently against Alfeegi's ear.

"I, please." It was a quiet plea, murmured more than it was spoken. "Don't leave me, not tonight. I can't …"

Kai-stern was nothing like Ruwalk, who was all long legs and blinding brilliance. And Kai-stern was nothing like Javon, who was tall and broad and wonderfully dark and serious.

"I'm not going anywhere," Alfeegi whispered back, a pale hand straying beneath Alfeegi's shirt as Alfeegi began to trail kisses down Kai-stern's exposed neck before he gently pushed Kai-stern down onto the bed.

Kai-stern said something else, but the words were lost as Kai-stern fumbled with the buttons of Alfeegi's tunic. It sounded almost as though Kai-stern was asking him to stay forever, but whatever had been said had never been meant for Alfeegi's ears, so Alfeegi let them fall unquestioned.

There were far more important things to deal to right now. Lips and mouths and the hollow where the shoulder bone met the neck …

And Kai-stern.