I completely forgot about this chapter I wrote a few months ago. Sorry it's been so long.
One of These Days
Chapter Five: It Did.
Lizzie left the doctor's office the next day knowing the truth…as crazy as it sounded, she was pregnant. She didn't think it would happen, but it did. What would she tell Gordo? What would she do about college? After taking all those tests that morning and discussing her options with Dr. Jones, she felt so overwhelmed that she didn't know what to do…about anything. She was only eighteen. She'd only had sex once, and they were drunk!
As Lizzie drove home, all she could think about was how she was going to tell her parents and Gordo about this. After three weeks of all the anguish she felt in her eagerness to know the truth, Lizzie never really thought she would be pregnant after all. Nothing could have prepared her reaction to the news. Although she thought she handled herself pretty well at the doctor's office that morning, she knew that as soon as she got out of the office, she would break down in tears…and she did eventually, but unfortunately the tears didn't fall until she was about halfway home, stuck in traffic, realizing that all these years in school were a waste of time to result in this. Her future was ruined and even if she did get an abortion, she'd still feel immensely guilty over everything.
She tried to imagine what her parents would say. Sure, she worried more about Gordo than anyone, but she was scared to tell her parents because she knew exactly what they would say. They would tell her to marry Gordo. That way, the child could come into the world and be a part of a family and they could all live happily ever after. Not in love, but in matrimony because it's the "right thing." Not that she blamed them. This child would be a bastard and was doomed for speculation and judgment because his or her parents never married if she didn't marry Gordo.
Well, keeping the baby was the only real option, right? Even though they lived in liberal California, her parents were fairly conservative, especially when it came to morals and family values. Abortion was personally not an option for Lizzie because she knew she could never deal with the guilt and adoption…well, that's where it got complicated. Lizzie didn't know how she felt about bringing someone to life, giving them up, and never being able to fully explain why she could never be a good mother to the child in the first place. On the other hand, Lizzie wasn't too convinced that she would be able to handle a baby all by herself without any support. This meant that Gordo and/or her parents would have to cooperate and while she knew that Gordo would support her no matter what her decision, she wasn't sure how she would feel if this weren't a joint agreement.
She thought about all of this and more all afternoon as she avoided her own house and tried to decide what she would say to Gordo. She knew she would have to tell him first, but she had no idea what to tell him. "Good news, I'm pregnant with your child," wasn't appropriate because they obviously both knew that this wasn't good news.
Later than afternoon, when Lizzie figured that she had thought enough by herself for the day, she found herself driving to Gordo's house. When she arrived, it took her a few minutes to prepare herself to get out of the car and it took her even longer once she reached the steps to bring herself to knock.
When she finally did, Mrs. Gordon answered and allowed her to come in. Mrs. Gordon, who was on the phone, called for Gordo and then disappeared back into her at home office. A minute later, Gordo came down, saw Lizzie and Lizzie could tell that Gordo already kind of knew what was going on. It was indicated on his face, which had turned white.
"Hi," Lizzie said as she put little effort into her small smile.
"Hi," Gordo said, then he glanced around to see if anyone was around, "How have you been?"
Lizzie bit her bottom lip. Maybe Gordo didn't know what was going on, "Gordo," she finally said, "We…we need to talk."
Gordo nodded gravely and then closed the gap between the two of them and led her outside, to their back porch. He motioned for her to sit and then sat down on a nearby chair. Before Lizzie could say anything, Gordo spoke up, "my mom told me yesterday that your mom had taken you to the doctor yesterday."
Lizzie couldn't stop herself from raising her eyebrow in curiosity, "You talk about that sort of thing with your mother?"
Gordo shrugged, "Well, it sort of came out as she was talking about an article in the paper about birth control. I think my mom was the one who gave your mom the suggestion about taking you there, actually."
"Oh," Lizzie said, feeling this getting awkward, "so you know what kind of doctor I saw, then."
"Yeah," Gordo said. His tone was so unreadable and he was staring so intently at the air in front of him that Lizzie could tell that he was deep in thought, "I was worried about you and I thought about calling you last night, but I figured you would call me if anything important came up," he paused, and turned to her, "I take it that's why you came here today. You needed a little time to gather your thoughts before you came to see me."
Lizzie felt a tear fall from her face, "Gordo, I didn't think this would happen," she almost choked on her own words.
Gordo reached over to offer his hand to comfort Lizzie, "Could the doctor tell that…you know, you weren't a virgin?"
Gordo didn't seem to get it. Lizzie was so sure that Gordo would understand what was happening right away, but he didn't. Of course he wouldn't because he wasn't a girl. He wasn't nearly as emotional as Lizzie was and he wasn't worried that he was quite possibly about to become a parent. Lizzie nodded, "They ask you about that in the appointment."
Gordo nodded, "Yeah, that makes sense."
Lizzie took in a deep breath, "Gordo, we need to talk. I really don't know how to tell you this and I don't understand how this happened like this, but I'm pregnant."
Gordo's face turned white as he sunk in the news. Even he was surprised in how surprised he was at the news. He'd tried to block this from his realm of possibility, but he thought he'd prepared himself for any result but when he heard the words come out of Lizzie's mouth. Finally, Gordo was able to ask, "Are you…sure?"
Lizzie nodded solemnly, "It was confirmed this morning."
"I see," Gordo said. It was the only thing he could think to say at the time.
"Gordo, this was the last thing I expected. I mean, sure it crossed my mind a few times over the past few weeks, but I never actually thought this would happen. I just thought I was a little anxious."
Gordo appeared to be thinking about all of this as he said nothing. The awkward silence made added to Lizzie's nervousness.
"Gordo…" Lizzie said, biting her lower lip.
Gordo shook his head and interrupted her, "I…I…I obviously didn't expect this either."
Lizzie sighed, feeling relieved that Gordo didn't seem angry. "I just don't know what we're going to do. Our parents are going to kill us."
"Parents?" Gordo repeated, and then slumped in his chair, "Oh yeah, our parents."
"I think we should come up with some solution to this before we talk to them. Then, at least that way, we won't seem like some dumb teenagers who can't take responsibility for themselves."
"You haven't told your parents yet, then?" Gordo said, gaining a little color back in him.
Lizzie shook her head, "I thought you should be the first to know. But, Gordo, I know we have never had a discussion about this because this never even crossed our minds, I need to tell you something now. I can't have an abortion. I'm still up in the air about adoption, but I absolutely cannot do that to myself."
"I…wouldn't expect you to have to do that," Gordo said, reaching out for Lizzie's hand, "I'll support whatever you chose to do, but I would hope that you would let me take part of the responsibility for all of this."
"And what if I chose to keep it?" Lizzie said, scared out of her wits of what his reaction was going to be, "Do you think that it's stupid of me to want to keep it?"
"No, that's not stupid, Lizzie. It's taking responsibility. We'll get married, find a place to live, and I'll go to a state school and get a part time job if that is what it takes."
"Married? You think we should get married?"
Gordo sighed. Maybe this was all crazy and he was thinking too quickly, but marriage seemed like the most logical thing to do. Besides, his parents wouldn't let him live to see his child if he didn't at least think about it, "Lizzie, I'm not trying to make rash decisions here, but I think we should at least talk about it."
"O…okay. We'll talk about it. I think we should see what our parents have to say about this first, though."
"Well, we can talk about it with them, but it's really our decision. Well, at the end of the day, it is yours, but something needs to be decided soon."
Lizzie was flabbergasted by what all Gordo was saying. It made sense, but he spoke with too much confidence, "Gordo? Are you really thinking this through? You're eighteen and you have your whole life ahead of you to be whatever you want to be. Are you prepared to throw everything…your college, girls, and your bachelorhood away like this? We may be great friends, but we're not lovers."
Gordo thought about this for a moment, "Lizzie, I just want to do what's right. If you don't want to marry me, that's fine, but otherwise, I think getting married as soon as possible is what is best for all of us. I promise I'll be faithful and celibate for the rest of my life if that is what it takes. Getting married would make everything so much easier, though."
Gordo seemed really determined about all of this, but Lizzie was still skeptical. Everything was happening so fast. Lizzie wasn't sure she was ready to see her life happen like this, but if they were going to keep the baby, he had a point. It would be easier if they got married. It would make their parents feel a little bit better about all of this. Their child would grow up with two parents who loved him or her. They were best friends and Gordo was handling this well and wanted to be a part of all of this. Lizzie took in a deep breath, "Maybe you're right, Gordo. Maybe we should get married."
